怪兽上班（2021）

I broke Vendy this morning and...
所以他需要一台新的
And he needs a new one!
就是这个了 送你两个词 "升级版"
That's it! I got two words for ya, "Upgrades!"
升级版是一个词
Upgrades is one word.
这是鼓舞士气的完美方式
The perfect way to boost morale.
只要鼓舞士气 就能增加笑声
And if we boost morale, we boost laughs.
只要增加笑声 我们就能增加收益
And if we boost laughs, we boost profits.
这样就没人会被炒鱿鱼了
And nobody has to be let go.
也许除了臭臭
Except maybe Stinky.
我听到了
I heard that.
你好
一台新的自动贩卖♥♥机吗
A new vending machine?
准备好清爽一下了吗
饮品
零食
糖果
热食
快看看 还售卖♥♥热食
Look at that. It even has hot foods.
炙手可热啊
That's pretty hot.
没错 先生 我专门为你而安装的
That's right, sir. I had it installed just for you.
是你让人安装的吗 不不
You had it installed? No, no.
这不是邓肯的主意
This wasn't Duncan's idea.
是我和瓦尔让麦克想出了升级的主意
Yeah, Val and I gave Mike the idea to upgrade.
-但是我批准送货的 -不不
- But I approved the delivery. - No, no.
-邓肯 -我不喜欢这一台
- Duncan! - I don't think I like this.
-我也不喜欢 -太早了
- Me neither. - It's too soon.
-太早了 -我想念贩贩机
- Way too soon. - I miss Vendy.
这是大学仔轻率的计划
This was College Boy's hair-brained scheme.
什么 不 我没叫麦克送这台下来
What? No! I didn't ask Mike to send this down.
-你说是你的主意 -是麦克的主意
- Said it was your idea. - It was Mike's idea.
-升级版 -全都是他们的错
- Upgrades. - This is all their fault.
-记住了 -等一下
- Keep that in mind. - Hold on.
-邓肯 -没人相信你
- Duncan... - Nobody trusts you.
-不是我的错 -你的话真离谱
- Not my fault. - You sound ridiculous.
有病的是你 我是泰勒 泰勒 泰勒
You're the insane one. "I'm Tylor Tylor Tylor Tylor."
-别说了 -交给我搞定 先生
- Stop it. - I'll take care of it, sir.
看啊 有这么多清凉爽口饮口味
Wow! Look at all these refreshing Drooler Cooler flavors.
我喜欢这个
I like this!
选择你的清凉爽口饮
这都是我的主意
And it was all my idea!
-你不是吧 邓肯 -我要选哪个呢
- Really, Duncan? - How do I choose?
刺头菠萝 听起来...
There's Spineapple! That sounds...
-喜欢什么选什么 -免费试喝 腹梅
- Whatever you want. - Taste Free, Bilgeberry.
也许我就试试激爽胆汁
Maybe I'm just gonna go for Bile Blast.
你开心我就开心
If you're happy, I'm happy.
碰碰碰 小碰碰
Bump-bump-bump. Bitty bump.
天呐
My!
酸得吓人
The acidity's astounding.
我的舌头麻了 但是管它的呢
I can't feel my tongue, but so what?
也许我该试柠檬泥浆的
Maybe I should've tried the Lemon Slime.
那肯定会更好喝更清爽
That'd have been more delightful and refreshing.
瞧 有一个交换按钮
Hey, look, there's an "Exchange" button.
那里
Right there.
我的天啊
Jumping gaskets!
交换
交换物品
你们看啊
Would you look at that?
小碰碰
Bitty bump.
柠檬泥浆
我停不下来了 真的太厉害了
I can't get over it! This is really something.
谢谢你 贩贩机二号♥
Thank you, Vendy Two.
谢谢你们所有人
And thank you all.
这一周我超级不顺心
You know, I'm having a really rough week
这些让我好过一点了
and this makes me feel a smidgy bit better.
你听到了吗 他谢谢我们
You hear that? He thanked us.
我们不会被炒鱿鱼了
We're not getting fired.
不不 他谢的是我 是我不会被炒鱿鱼
No, no. He thanked moi. I'm not getting fired.
做好准备 弹
Get ready! Bam!
桌上泥球 我们不是不应该花钱吗
Oozeball? I thought we were supposed to not spend money.
萨利 你的想法
Sulley, you're not thinking
不像是一个脱离世俗 薪资过高的总裁
like an out-of-touch overpaid CEO.
要赚钱就要先花钱
To make money, you gotta spend money.
不
No!
不
No!
-进球 -好棒
- Goal! - Yes!
看到没 士气昂然了
See? Morale's already up.
好吧 我们留下这一台
Okay, we'll keep this one.
来不及了 兄弟 我已经订了96台
Too late, buddy. I already ordered 96 of 'em.
他现在在里面 看我们的档案
He's in there right now. Going through our files.
在做决定
Making his decision.
别以为你的小自动贩卖♥♥机把戏奏效了
Don't think your little vending machine trick will work,
大学仔
College Boy.
靠零食是逃不过被炒的命运的
You can't snack your way out of gettin' fired.
我已经逃过一劫了
I think I already have.
-热鼻涕糖 -热鼻涕糖
- Whoa! Hot Snots? - Hot Snots?
热鼻涕糖
快来热火朝天一下
等一下 等一下 先别急
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast.
不行 你不能吃
No, no, you can't have those.
-热鼻涕糖是我的最爱 -你的最爱
- Hot Snots are my thing. - Your thing?
我三岁起就喜欢吃热鼻涕糖到现在
They've been my thing since I was three.
三岁
Three?
我妈生我之前就开始吃这些热鼻涕糖了
My mom popped those babies instead of prenatals, okay?
-难怪你这么奇葩 -我赢了
- Explains a lot. - I win.
你得另找一种最爱糖果
You'll have to find another favorite.
你有没有搞错 我就要吃
Seriously? I'm getting them.
-不行 -你住手
- No, you're not. - Stop it.
-你才住手 -是我的
- You stop! - Mine.
-不不 是我的 -是我的才对
- No, no, no! Mine! - Mine!
这下你铁定会被炒鱿鱼咯
Now you're definitely getting fired.
是你一直乱按好不好
You're the one who kept push-push-pushing.
他要炒也是炒你
He's firing you!
弗利兹会很生气的
Fritz is gonna be so upset.
是啊 我得修好这玩意
Yeah, I better fix this thing.
不不不
Whoa, no, no, no.
你啥都修不好 我们都知道了
You can't fix anything, we've established that.
我来修 你就站在旁边等着被炒吧
I'll fix it, and you just stand there and be fired.
只可让授权服务中心维修 否则保修无效
我来看看
Ah, see here... Oh! And... ooh!
上面说得找授权服务中心来修
It says to call an authorized service center.
授个屁权 那是吓唬你这种外行的
Authorized schm-authorized. That's for amateurs like you.
别碰那条黄色电线
Don't touch that yellow wire.
把这条线接到那里 拧紧这个
Reroute this to that. Tighten this.
拔掉这玩意 搞定
Jiggly this thingie. And boom!
试试看能不能用
Let's give this thing a try.
好了 完好如新 我去把这些给扔了
There! Good as new. I'll just get rid of all this stuff.
等一下 那些都是什么
Wait, wait, wait. What are those?
就是多余的零件啦 一些小东西
You know, extra parts. Bunch of doohickeys.
-小东西 -不会有影响的
- Doohickeys? - Not gonna make any difference.
我还要喝一罐清凉爽口饮提神
Oh, I think I need another Drooler Cooler pick-me-up.
我有很多烦心事
I've got a lot on my mind.
飞沫口味 听起来很好喝
Spittle Splash flavor. That sounds scrumptious.
飞沫口味
臭屁口味
臭屁口味 我不想要这个啊
Pop Farts? I don't want Pop Farts.
放纵畅饮
-你没事吧 -有事 我被罐子砸了
- Are you okay? - No! I got canned!
给老子嚼
那机器不对劲
There's something wrong with that machine!
-立刻躲去我办公室 -去你办公室
- In my office! Everyone! - In your office!
这幅画仿佛同时代表了万物与虚无
Oh, it's like everything and nothing at the same time.
它在对我说话
It just speaks to me.
-画对你说什么了 萨利 -我们穷得叮当响
- What's it say to you, Sulley? - That we're broke?
看我还买♥♥了什么
Look what else I got.
一幅梵睾和一幅莫奶
I bought a Vincent Van Gross and a Claw Monet.
那是米开朗基基的雕塑吗
Is that a Michelfangelo?
没错 这是文化熏陶
Yes! It's culture.
文化能提振士气 士气又能增加收益
Culture boosts morale. And morale boosts profits.
是安迪·窝火儿的作品耶 他标志性的糊糊罐头
Ooh, an Andy Gorhal. One of his Goop Cans.