怪兽上班（2021）

笑声瓦特
很好 乔瑟芬娜
Very impressive, Josephina.
你听起来从没这么胀气过
You never sounded more flatulent.
那是放屁的意思 对吧
That means fart, right?
恭喜你胀气毕业了
Congratulations on your flatulation.
我通过了吗 我要当搞笑专员了吗
So, I did it? I'm going to be a jokester?
我这才第一次尝试呢 天哪
It was my first try, and oh, my word.
请到怪兽人力资源部见克朗米汉姆先生
Please see Mr. Crummyham in Monster Resources
处理你的转职文件
regarding your transfer paperwork,
我们搞笑层见
and I'll see you on the Laugh Floor.
看见没 再过十分钟 这话就是对我说的
You see that? In ten minutes, that's gonna be me.
弗林特女士 请问
Uh, Ms. Flint, uh, are we
我们都要弹放屁木琴吗
all supposed to be playing fart xylophones,
因为我没把我的带来
'cause I didn't bring mine.
真糟糕 塔兹林先生
Oh, darn. Mr., uh, Tusclin.
-是塔兹曼 -好的 欢迎参加这周的面试
- Tuskmon. - Okay. Welcome to this week's auditions.
看看你水平如何
Let's see what you got.
明明说了一定会爆笑的
Uh, it said guaranteed laughs. Uh...
是香蕉皮得滑动吗 还是我的问题
Are the peels supposed to do something or is that on me?
你下周再来怎么样 塔兹林先生
Mmm, how about you try again next week, Mr. Tusclin?
你好啊 很高兴到这来
Hey-oh! How we doing? Good to be here.
我说 你有听过
Uh, say, did you hear the one
在医生办公室里的隐形小孩的故事吗
about the invisible kid in the doctor's office?
不好意思 它还会这样躺回去的吗
Sorry. Is it supposed to lie back down like that?
这是正常现象吗
Is that normal?
你好笑就不会了 你还是下周再来吧
Not if you were funny. How about you come back next week?
爬箱子 爬 爬 抓绳子 抓 风来了
Box, box, box. Rope, rope. Wind.
抱歉 爬爬爬
Oh, sorry! Box, box, box.
哑剧表演是不出声的吧
I thought mimes don't use words.
下周同一时间再来吧 塔兹林先生
Same time next week, Mr. Tusclin.
下周再来
Next week.
下周再来
Next week.
下周再来
Next week.
好笑吧 不吗 拜托了
It's funny, no? Come on, man.
你笑一声意思下嘛 好吗
I just need a laugh, all right?
咱俩私下说一句 换做是我
Between you and me, I would
我还是会选择用放屁木琴
have stuck with the fart xylophone myself.
我也是
Me, too.
怪兽上班
第一季 第八集
弗林特女士 听我说
Uh, Ms. Flint, hi. Look.
我知道机器人男孩身上在着火
I know Robot Boy is burning,
但我非常确定他笑了
but I'm pretty sure it was laughing, too.
我听到了 不是我瞎编的 你听到...
I heard it. I'm not making this up. You heard that...
-塔兹林先生 -其实是塔兹曼
- Mr. Tusclin. - Yes. Tuskmon.
-不过...算了吧 -我很欣赏你的坚持不懈
- But... Yep. - While I appreciate your persistence,
但我的所有数据都表明
all my data indicates that,
我要怎么说才不伤人呢
well, how do I put this kindly?
就像是无聊和无趣两个人结婚 生了个孩子
It's like if boring and unfunny got married, had a kid,
那孩子做手术把幽默感切除了
and that kid had his sense of humor surgically removed,
即便那样 那小孩还是比你有趣
that kid would still be funnier than you.
请问下 你的意思是
Sorry. Are you saying I
我也得做手术割掉什么东西吗
need to have something surgically removed?
因为我愿意去做...
Because I'll do it. I mean, I...
可能我得更直白一点
Perhaps I need to be clearer.
不是所有惊吓专员都是当搞笑专员的料
Not all scarers are cut out to be jokesters.
很遗憾 你以后没有面试机会了
I'm sorry to say, that was your last audition.
-暂时吗 -永远
- For now? - Forever.
但只要你答应让我...
Um, but if you'll just let me come...
你不搞笑
You are not funny.
祝好 塔兹林先生
Good day, Mr. Tusclin.
我叫塔兹曼
It's... Tuskmon.
欢迎
迷你怪兽们
迷你怪兽们 你们好
Hello, mini monsters.
请不要离开你们的监护人
Remain with your chaperones, please.
卖♥♥甜筒咯 快来吃甜筒
Snow cones here! Get your snow cones!
有柠檬的 越橘的
We got lemon, we got lingonberry.
还有雪花原味
And the original snow flavor.
今天是迷你怪兽日
It's Mini Monsters Day.
我们会在今天开放工厂给所有小朋友
The day we open up the factory to all you kids
让你们了解在怪兽公♥司♥工作的日常
to learn about working at Monsters, Inc.
小心 注意后面
Hey! Watch the back.
最棒的一点是 作为主管
And the best part is, as supervisor,
我可以对其他怪兽发号♥施令
I get to tell other monsters what to do
而自己啥事都不用做
without having to do anything myself.
楼层主管
保洁工程师
-爽耶 -只要你努力奋斗 心怀大志
- Nice! - If you work hard and dream big,
总有一天 你也能在这里清空垃圾桶
one day, you can empty the trash cans here, too.
闭嘴 你想让我们都丢饭碗吗
Shut up. You want to put us out of a job?
太不讲卫生了吧
That's so unsanitary.
但又超可爱
But cute!
我一定得来吗 妈妈
Do I have to do this, Mom?
就一天而已
It's just for one day.
你每年都这么说
You say that every year.
快来 塔莉亚
Come on, Thalia.
请稍等 他马上就来
Please hold, he'll be right with you.
欧提斯 你妈妈还好吗
Hey, Otis. How's your mom?
谢谢关心 塔莉亚
Oh, thanks for asking, Thalia.
虽然她视力不如从前了
Her eyesight's going, hmm...
但她的眼睛越来越多了
But she's got more eyes where those came from.
-所以不是问题 -她在哪个组 欧提斯
- So it's not a problem. - What group is she with, Otis?
-我得回去搞笑组了 -我看看
- I gotta get back to the funny business. - Let me check.
她在...怪兽设团 怪兽公♥司♥搞笑设施团队
Uh, she's with... Ooh, MIFT. The Monsters, Inc. Fun Team.
真好笑呢 抱歉 亲爱的
Fun! Right. Sorry, honey.
怪兽设团
Mift.
好了 小不点们 都过来 聚拢
All right, kids. Kids, over here. Come on, gather around.
你们这些迷你小怪兽都准备好
And prepare to have your mini monster minds
大开眼界吧
blown wide open.
开眼吗 酷
Blown wide open? Cool.
-这安全吗 -等等 泰泰呢
- Is that safe? - Hold it. Where's Ty-Ty?
他可不能错过他的头一回迷你怪兽日
He can't miss his very first Mini Monster Day.
-早 泰勒 -他在那儿
- Morning, Tylor. - Oh, there he is.
面试怎么样
How'd the audition go?
-六次准能过 -七次
- Sixth time's the charm. - Seventh.
七次准能过吗
Seventh time's the charm?
没了 没机会面试了
That's it. No more auditions.
搞笑专员没戏了 什么都没了
No more jokester. Nothing, ever.
很遗憾 泰泰 但是
Sorry, Double T. But, hey,
在迷你怪兽日 没有伤心这一说
nobody gets to be sad on Mini Monster Day.
-你会心情好起来的 -我不知道
- It's gonna cheer you up. - I don't know.
-我没感觉 -开心开心开心
- I'm not feeling it. - Happy, happy.
我不想...
I don't wanna...
我还以为会有搞笑专员带我们
I thought we were gonna get paired with jokesters.
搞笑专员 不 他们在那儿呢
Jokesters? Oh, no, no, no. They're way over there.
去往搞笑层
搞笑专员
你们别担心
Oh, don't you worry, no.
今天是由我们来带你们
You get to spend the day with us.
怪兽公♥司♥设施团队
The Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team.
怪兽设团
-设施是什么 -就是浴室的别称
- What's a facilities? - It's another word for bathroom.
-我们在厕所队吗 -冲吧
- We're on the Toilet Team? - Flush away.
-谁是格蒂 -厕所队
- Which one of you is Gerty? - The Toilet Team.
格蒂 格蒂 格蒂
Gerty. Gerty. Gerty.
没事的 没事
Aw, it's okay. It's okay.
你会没事的 知道为什么吗
You're okay. You know why?
你有我呢 我就是老大
You're with me. I'm the boss.
-你好 我叫瓦尔·蕾托 -塔莉亚·弗林特
- Hiya! I'm Val Little. - Thalia Flint.
小弗林特小姐
Well, little Miss Flint,
我们将一起度过美好的一天
we are going to have a great day.
在地下跟怪兽设团待一整天 可真扫兴
A whole day underground with MIFT. Whoop-dee-doo.
在今天结束之前
We're gonna take that whoop-dee-doo
我们会将扫兴变成好玩
and turn it into whoo-hoo before the day is done.