怪兽上班（2021）

Yeah, so, excuse me.
一泻千里啊
Oh! A number five.
看 得来全不费工夫
Hey, look at that. That was easy.
小家伙 不 不 不 回来
Kid. No! No! No, no, no! Come back!
不 关... 来人关掉这些啊
No! Turn... Somebody turn those off.
它们很烫啊 烫 烫 烫 好
Those are hot. Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Okay.
好了 这...
Yeah, what is...
不
Oh, no!
高压
不 不 不
No, no, no, no! Ah!
不 不 不
No! Ah! No, no, no, no, no!
好
Okay.
早上好 大卫
Good morning, David!
-大卫 -大卫
- David! - Davey.
我相信他还与我们同在
I believe he's still with us.
他还与我们同在 他还与我们同在
He's still with us. He's still with us.
他还与我们同在
He's still with us. He's still with us. He's still with us.
你好
Hello?
你好 泰勒
Hello, Tylor.
不 不 不 我是... 我是...
Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no. Am I... Am I, uh...
走进光明吧
Go into the light.
等等 你的意思是 我...
Wait, you mean, I am, or...
黑暗中总有一丝光明
Every cloud has a silver lining.
所以我不是吗 我只是想确定一下
So I'm not? I just... I wanna be clear.
时间不等人
Time waits for no one.
等等 你是... 你是大卫吗
Oh, wait, are you... Are you David?
这山望着那山高
The grass is always greener on the other side.
你肯定是大卫
Yeah, you're definitely David.
私下跟你说一句
Hey, look, between you and me,
你说的这些都是老生常谈了
these are all pretty common sayings.
提出愚蠢的问题 就会得到愚蠢的答案
Ask a silly question, get a silly answer.
我听过这句话
I've heard that before.
-别以貌取人 -这句也听过
- Don't judge a book by its cover. - Yeah, and that one.
裸熊布恩迪没有毛
Boondy Bear had no hair, that bare-haired bear.
对 说到裸熊和头发
Right. Speaking, actually, of Boondy Bear and the hair,
我非常需要你的帮助
I really need a favor.
你需要的只是爱
Love is all you need.
和头发
And hair.
如果你能给我你的一些头发
If you could give me some of your hair,
那真的能帮到我
that would really help me out.
给迎面驶来的车辆让路
Yield to oncoming traffic.
路标可不是谚语
Yeah, so road signs are not sayings.
搞定了
It is done!
谢了 大卫
Thanks, David.
在你消散前
Before you dissolve or whatever,
我有个问题
I have a question.
怪兽设团的每个人都爱你
You know everybody at MIFT loves you,
我只是有点好奇 你的秘诀是什么
and I was just kinda wondering, what's your secret?
诚实可靠
Be reliable and honest.
好吧
Right.
别吃辣鸡翅 会让你上六号♥
And don't eat Buffalo wings. They can give you a number six.
我求求你 真的求求你了 罗托
I'm begging you, please. I'm really begging you here, Roto.
把头发吐出来吧
Just cough it up.
因为我快没时间了
Because I'm running out of time here.
萝兹
Roze?
我仔细考虑了一下 决定给你一绺我的头发
I mulled it over, and I decided to give you a lock of my hair.
你愿意吗 太好了 为什么
Oh, you did? Great. Why?
你让我想起了另一个年轻员工
You remind me of another young employee,
满是热情和激♥情♥ 充满未发掘的才华
full of passion and zeal, brimming with untapped talent.
-是大卫 -是我
- David. - Me.
当然了 谢谢你
Of course. Well, thank you.
我能说什么 我就爱让大家开心
What can I say? I'm a people pleaser.
等等 你没剪头发 从哪里来的这个
Wait a second, your hair isn't cut. Where did you get this?
别问这种问题 你不会想知道答案的
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
好了 就像什么都没发生过
There. Like nothing ever happened.
现在是时候点燃纪念蜡烛
And now it's time to light the Candle of Remembrance
以纪念今天 大卫日
in honor of today, David Day,
这一天 我们来庆祝大卫
a day we devote to celebrating David.
和他留给我们的特别礼物
And the very special gift that he left us with,
他那炫目迷人 超级好的头发
his dazzling, beguiling, and very, very, very, very good hair.
让我们花点时间欣赏一下
So, let's take a moment and admire it.
有点不太一样
Something's different.
你说得对 我说不出是哪里 但...
You're right. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's...
大卫的头发有点不太对
There's something not right about David's hair.
天啊 没错 看看 颜色差远了
Oh, gosh, it's true. Look at it, the color is way off.
好像有人用其他人的头发替换了一样
Like somebody switched it out with somebody else's hair.
头发到底怎么了
What happened to the hair?
行 好吧 我承认 这不是大卫的头发
Fine! Okay. I admit it. It's not David's hair.
邓肯的宠物罗托吃了头发 我试着抓住它
Duncan's Roto pet thing ate it, and then, I tried to catch him,
但它被吸进管道里
but he got sucked into the tube.
我试着去弄些萝兹的头发 但弄不到
Then I tried to get some of Roze's hair, but that didn't work.
所以我去了碎门机 在那里差点被杀
So I went to the shredder shaft, where I nearly got killed.
我见到了大卫的鬼魂
Met the ghost of David.
我现在明白了 他很棒
I see it now, great guy.
在那之后我找到了罗托 但它不肯吐出头发
Then I found Roto after that, but he wouldn't hack up the hair.
但后来萝兹给了我一些她的头发
But then Roze gave me some of hers.
不确定是哪里来的
Not sure where it came from.
但罐子里的就是那个
That's what's in the jar.
这一切都是因为我想当搞笑专员
It's all because I wanted to be a jokester,
当不了 所以我想当个好怪兽设团人
that won't happen, so I was trying to be a good MIFTer,
然而这个我也搞砸了
and I blew that too.
你进了碎门机吗
You went into the shredder shaft?
邓肯说得对 我就是大卫的反面
Duncan's right, I'm the exact opposite of David.
但大卫很诚实 你刚也说了实话
But David was honest. And you just told the truth.
没什么比说实话更诚实的了
There is nothing more honest than telling the truth.
除非你在对说实话的事撒谎
Unless you're lying about telling the truth,
这意味着谎话其实是实话
which means that the lie is actually the truth,
但实话同样是谎话
but the truth is a lie.
天啊 真让我头疼
Oh, my goodness, this makes my brain hurt.
至于可靠 你找到了一些头发
And as for reliable, you found some hair.
泰泰 一位睿智的怪兽曾告诉我
Ty-Ty, a wise monster once said to me,
"裸熊布恩迪没有毛"
"Boondy Bear had no hair, that bare-haired bear."
我不知道那是什么意思
And I have no idea what that means.
也许这意味着你是大卫反面的反面
Maybe it means you're the opposite of the opposite of David.
还有 你不必那么麻烦
And besides, you didn't have to go to all that trouble.
我有一整袋大卫的头发
Yeah, I got a whole bag of Davey's hair.
就放在楼梯下的储物柜里了
Keep it in a foot locker under the stairs.
那家伙狂爱掉头发
That guy was a shedder.
当然 他当然爱掉
Of course. Of course he was.
你真见到大卫了吗
So you actually saw David?
是的 我想是的
Yeah, I guess. Sort of.
你看 我就知道他还跟我们在一起
See, I knew he was still with us.
我明白你们为什么都这么喜欢他 他...
And I can see why you all liked him so much. He is...
和你们一样怪
Just as weird as you guys.
说得对 泰泰 大卫是真正的怪兽设团人
You're right, Double T. David was a true MIFTer.
只有真正的怪兽设团人才知道
And it takes one to know one.
麦克的喜剧课堂
即兴 是"即兴表演"的简称
Improv! That's short for "Improvisation"
又称"临场发挥"
which is long for "Improvise,"
大体上 这意味着你要边创作边表演
which basically means making stuff up as you go.
你们正享受特别教学 亲爱的学生们
You're in for a very special treat, dear students,
因为我 麦克·沃佐斯基 是即兴大♥师♥
because I, Mike Wazowski, am the master of improv.
你们随便说什么 我都会表演出来
You call out anything. And I will become it.
举个例子 足球
Here's an example. Soccer ball!
踢我 踢我
Kick me! Kick me!
还有一个 沙滩排球
Here's another one. Beach ball!
抛我 抛我
Toss me! Toss me!
保龄球 滚我 滚我
Bowling ball! Roll me! Roll me!
明白怎么表演了吗
See how it works?
好吧 同学们 冲我来吧
All right, class, lay it on me.
来吧 给我来个难的 我准备好了
Come on. Give me a tough one, I'm ready.
像我说的 我什么都能演