迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S02E22

Part 1 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:26 p.m.

Thanks for taking us out tonight, you guys.
多谢你们两位今晚把我们邀出来
It's a nice little break from all the wedding chaos.
能从婚礼筹备的纷乱中喘口气真好
Trust me girl, with all your relatives in town,
相信我等你的七姑八姨都到了
it's only gonna get worse.
就会乱上加乱了
Tell me about it. I'm
可不是嘛我
guessing I'll be spending most of the reception
已经猜得到这婚宴上我的重点任务是
trying to keep my mom's foot out of my dad's ass.
管好我妈的脾气护好我爸的菊花
Which reminds me,
说到这
we have to call the caterer and have them switch
别忘了给餐饮承包人打电♥话♥ 关照他们
from steak knives to butter knives.
把牛排刀换成黄油刀
Why not play it safe and go all plastic?
要不全用塑料餐具安全到底得了
Nah, my mom can make a shiv out of anything.
算啦家母对凶器的取材不拘一格
We should just serve soup and "Tear your own bread."
我们就供应汤和手撕包
And cold soup, something that won't blister a face.
还得是冷汤泼脸上也不起泡的那种
Just so you know, whatever you guys need,
哦对了有什么需要帮忙的话
Christina and I are there for you, right, baby?
包在我和Christina身上是吧亲爱的
Of course.
没二话
The biggest mistake my ex-husband and I made
我和前夫当时最糊涂的
was letting ourselves get caught up
是为了别人的抓狂
in everybody else's crazy.
搞得自己团团转
Well, this is my wedding,
怎么说这也是我的婚礼
and that means nobody else gets to be crazier than me.
谁不也许比老娘还来劲
El Loco Grande.
大疯子一个
Si, senorita.
是小姐
Muy, muy loco.
相当相当疯狂
By the way, did you decide
话说你想好
where you're sleeping tomorrow night?
明晚睡哪儿吗
She's testing me.
她这是在考验我
Right by your side, baby.
当然睡你身边宝贝
No, you're not.
不行啦
It's the night before the wedding.
这是新婚前夜
You have to stay somewhere else.
你要上别处去睡
Why?
这是何苦
Because it's tradition.
习俗就是这样的
One night apart before we're joined together
这是我们结合在一起
you know, for the rest of our lives.
过下半辈子前的最后一夜分开过
Plus, at the crack of dawn,
还有在天快亮的时候
that house is gonna be filled
房♥子里就会满是
with nervous women drinking mimosas,
亢奋的姑娘们端着鸡尾酒杯
primping, plucking, and snapping
画脸拔毛外加扯着嗓门
at each other.
和人说话
Carl, I'm staying at your house tomorrow night.
Carl 明晚在你家过了
Well, that's fine with me,
我没问题
but my grandma has a Christian senior domino club
不过我奶奶组织老年教♥徒♥们来玩多米诺骨牌
over and that’s not the place to be
所以这我这边没什么好待
if you are trying to avoid
如果你不想见
spiteful women with a snoot full.
喝高了的刻薄女人
Why don't you stay with your mom?
你干嘛不住你妈那儿
Maybe the same reason
那道理和
I don't chew on tin foil or try to kiss bears.
不拿锡纸磨牙不给熊类献吻是一样的
Come on, it'd mean a lot to her
别贫了她可在乎
to have her little boy there
自己的小男孩儿的
on his last night of being an unmarried man.
最后一个单身之夜能陪在她身边
Boy, you really want me
哇你追求的是要我
to run screaming down that aisle, don't you?
从廊道那头大呼小叫着奔向你对吧
A sense of urgency would be nice.
能有点急迫感还真不错
Anything for you, my bride.
都依你我的新娘
I love you.
我爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Isn't that beautiful?
真是美好
Yes, it is.
对呀
I love you, Christina.
我爱你 Christina
Aww.
哇
That's sweet.
好动人
For the first time in my life I see love.
在我生命里第一次我看见了爱
Sweetie, if there's anything else
老婆有什么其他要我
you need me to do, just ask.
办的尽管吩咐
Okay, talk to you later.
好待会儿再聊
You, too.
我也一样
I can't.
不行
Yes, he is.
对他在
All right.
好吧
Love you, too.
也爱你
No, I don't think he heard.
不会他应该没听到
Molly says "Hi."
Molly问你好
Uh-huh.
嗯哼
I can't believe
我真想不通
Christina left me hanging like that.
Christina就那样把我晾一边了
What are you talking about?
你指的是
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
你少给我来这套
I told that woman I loved her,
我和她说了那三字的深情表白
laid my heart out in front of her
把心都捧给她了
and she chopped it up like we were at Benihana's.
她像吃铁板烧料理那样把我的心剁得粉粉碎
Well, maybe she didn't hear you.
搞不好她没听到你的话
Please! The whole restaurant heard me.
算了吧店堂里所有的人都听到了
The busboy gave me a hug on the way out.
出门的时候服务生都抱了抱我
You put her on the spot,
你有点为难她了
and even if she did feel that way,
哪怕她其实对你有感觉
she was probably too embarrassed to say it.
也会不好意思说出口的
I wasn't too embarrassed to say it,
你也没见我不好意思
until she didn't say it back,
直到她没回应我的时候
then I wanted to roll up the tablecloth
那会儿我连把桌布卷起来
and hang myself from a chandelier.
把自己拴死在吊灯上的心都有了
You certainly covered it well by telling the waiter
你掩饰得挺到位和侍者抱怨
all of his dessert selections were "Stupid."
他推荐的甜品"蠢毙了"
Hey, she didn't have to come out and say the actual words.
切又不是非得要她用一样的词
I'd have been fine with a "Me, too" Or a "Ditto"
说句"人家也是"或者"同前"
or a "Aye-aye, Captain Dreamboat."
或者"遵命爱人号♥船长"都能打发我
Well, if it's any consolation
这样吧来给你宽宽心
I love you.
我爱你
See how it feels?
知道我那一下子什么感觉了吧
So this is what you meant by your good black suit?
这就是你所谓的拿得出手的黑西服
It's 100% Angus.
百分百的安格斯牛皮
This baby retailed for two grand.
这玩意儿卖♥♥两千呢
I got it for 300 smackers and a crate of Canadian Tylenol.
我花了三百块和一箱子加拿大泰诺才换来的呢
You think it's a good idea
你觉得这主意好吗
for a man who sweats the way you do
汗腺这么发达
to be wrapped in a sausage casing?
还把自己裹在肠衣里
I'll be fine.
没问题的
I took a leather punch and ventilated the crotch.
我会拿个皮革打孔器加加工好让胯下透透气
Is that the suit you're planning on walking me down the aisle in?
你打算穿这件衣服陪我走廊道
What do you think?
你看好吗
I think you need to give it back to the cow
我看你还不如把它还给那奶牛
and apologize.
再道个歉
Well, they didn't actually live long enough
其实被宰了剥皮的时候他们
to be considered cows.
还不算奶牛
Technically, it's a veal suit.
细究起来还是些牛犊子
Mom, I did this as a favor for you,
妈我当初答应下来是看在你的面子上
but I'm not walking down the aisle
不过打死我也不会和
with a guy dressed like a gay hit man.
穿得跟基佬打手一样的人走廊道的
Vince, you're gonna have to find something else.
Vince 你务必换件别的
When am I gonna get a chance to wear this?
我什么时候才有机会穿这一身啊
We'll bury you in it.
我们埋你入土前给你换上
We can do it now if you want.
你要愿意现在也行
Why you driving yourself so crazy?
把自己搞得这么神经兮兮的干嘛
The only thing people remember about a wedding
一场婚礼下来人们能有点印象的只有
is the dried chicken
干瘪的鸡肉
and which bridesmaid got drunk and flashed her cans.
还有哪个伴娘喝高了来个胸器大亮相
That reminds me, make sure Victoria wears a bra.
说到这记得要让Victoria穿上胸罩
I'll do my best,
我尽力吧