迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S02E18

Part 1 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:26 p.m.

All right.
好了
This should be more than enough kibble
这些狗粮应该够它可以吃到
to last until I get back from Branson.
我从Branson回来了
One bowl in the morning and another one at night.
早晚各一碗
That's easy to remember... My sister's on the same schedule.
真好记和我妹妹的饭点一样
It's that kind of flipping attitude
就你这种随意的态度
that will put Jim on a missing dog poster
Jim早晚会被你弄丢
or spread eagle in a car grill.
要么就被你五花大绑地扔车里
She cannot be trusted with your little brother.
把你弟弟交给她照顾我真心不放心
Don't worry about anything.
别担心了
Just relax and enjoy your trip.
好好放松享受你的旅行吧
Well, the Altar Rosary Society
圣坛念珠社
has been planning this senior excursion for ages.
为这次的老年远足活动筹划很久了
In fact, the lady who spearheaded the whole thing
事实上张罗这活动的那个女人
went toes up last month.
上个月翘辫子了
Oh, that's tragic.
哦真不幸
We're still taking her with us.
但我们还是会带着她一起去的
She wanted her ashes scattered in the sawdust
她想把自己的骨灰洒在
on the dance floor at Gilley's.
Gilley的舞池的木屑上
That's nice.
那挺好的啊
Well, she loved to boot, scoot, and boogie.
她喜欢乱踢暴走和群魔乱舞
Plus, she was an alcoholic who never met a cowboy
对了她还是个醉猫
she couldn't buck before the bell.
觉得自己的美貌能征服所有牛仔
Sounds like a sweetie. I didn't care for her.
听起来像是个可人儿可我不喜欢她
Anyway,
不管怎样
make sure Jim has got his chew toy.
别忘了给Jim它的咀嚼玩具
Otherwise, he'll be whisker-deep in his poop-shoot.
不然它就该在自己的粪堆里流连忘返了
Mike's exactly the same way.
Mike也差不多
I've got to put Tabasco in his underpants.
所以我得把辣椒油倒在他的内♥裤♥里
You know what, if yuck-a-puck can't keep a cork in it,
如果你们两个死鬼连这点小事都搞不定
I'm just gonna stay here.
那我♥干♥脆呆家里哪儿也不去算了
No, Mom,
别啊老妈
it's good for you to take these little trips.
出去走走对你有好处
When you go on vacation,
你要是出去度假
it's kind of a vacation for all of us.
那我们大家都可以放大假了
Peggy, relax.
Peggy 别紧张
We're gonna take wonderful care of little...
我们会好好照顾
Mr. Fuzzyface here.
可爱的毛脸先生的
Don't call him silly dog names.it just embarrasses him
别给它起这些傻不拉叽的名字这不是存心让它难堪么
Either call by his Christian name Jim,or his full name
要么叫它的教名Jim 要么就叫它的全名
James Douglas MacArthur Biggs.
James Douglas MacArthur Biggs
Jim it is.
那还是叫Jim算了
All right, we're out of here.
好了我们走吧
You just have a good time
玩得开心啊
and we'll take great care of him.
我们会好好照顾它的
Hopefully, it'll teach you silly hearts
希望这能让你俩缺心眼儿
some responsibility for when you decide
在生出个14磅重的大胖小子之前
to have your own little 14-pound miracle.
多多培养你们的责任感
Well, I'm sure if we ever have kids,
好啦我保证如果我们有了小孩
we'll look back on babysitting your dog
我们会把照顾你的狗狗这段经历
as a valuable learning experience. Hmm.
当成最珍贵的学习经历嗯
What do you mean, "If we have kids"?
你刚刚说的"如果我们有孩子"什么意思
You mean "When," Right? That's what I said.
你是说"等有孩子的时候"吧我刚就是这么说的啊
No. You said, "If." What's the difference?
不你说的是"如果" 有什么不同吗
"When" Means we have to figure out the right time
"等"意味着我们会考虑在对的时间里生宝宝
to have them, "If" Means you and I need to talk.
而"如果"意味着我们需要好好谈一谈了
Aw, I hate it when we need to talk.
啊我讨厌谈一谈
When were you planning on dropping this bombshell?
你从什么时候开始就在谋划投下这枚重磅炸♥弹♥了
On our honeymoon when you're double-bagging your junk?
在度蜜月时用2个安全套的时候就开始了吗
Why are you harping on this?
你非得抓着这点不放吗
You know how I am.
你知道我就是这样的人
Crap just falls out of my mouth.
嘴巴里时不时蹦出几句废话
It's your fault for listening.
你还当真了
Forget something?
你们是不是忘了什么
Oh, I was just teasing him.
哦我跟他闹着玩呢
You know how brothers are.
兄弟情深嘛你懂的
Just giving you the business, James Douglas.
吓着你了吧 James Douglas
You're lucky you're neutered.
你真该庆幸自己结扎了
I'm just saying, with the wedding and everything,
我只是觉得婚礼还有其他的事够我们烦了
don't we have enough crap to worry about
干吗非得让孩子的事
without bringing kids into the mix?
也搀和进来
I'm not asking you to plant your seed on the ride home.
我不是让你现在就在车上播种
But I-I'd like to know that you're open
我只是想知道你是不是
to having a family. - Yeah, I guess!
做好组建家庭的准备了 - 估计准备好了吧
I don't know. If it happens, it happens.
我不知道该来的迟早回来的
Do you have any idea how this works?
你究竟知不知道这事是怎么成的啊
Did you sleep through health class?
生理课你都是睡过去的吗
Look, we don't even have our own place.
听着我们连自己的房♥子都没有
You really want to raise a child
你真的愿意和你老妈还有你妹妹
in a house with your mom and sister?
挤在一栋房♥子里抚养孩子吗
His first birthday party will be at the Betty Ford Clinic.
孩子一周岁的生日宴会还得开在Betty Ford诊所里
When I said
我当时说我想要3个孩子
I wanted three kids and you said "Sounds good,"
你说"挺好的"
were you just saying that to shut me up?
你说这个只是为了让我闭嘴吗
If I was, it clearly didn't work.
如果是的话很明显它没起作用
We are getting married in a few months,
我们还有几个月就要结婚了
and I'd like to know that these breasts
而我很高兴得知我的胸
are gonna bring happiness to someone besides you.
还能给除了你之外的人带来快♥感♥
When did you become so baby crazy?
你什么时候变得那么想要孩子了
Am I gonna have to sleep with one eye open
那我是不是睡觉也要睁一只眼睛
so you don't steal my sperm?
以防你盗取我的精♥子♥
You're gonna have to sleep with one eye open
你睡觉睁一只眼睛要防的是
so I don't smother you with a pillow!
我会不会拿枕头闷死你
Oh, ha, ha. Real mature.
哦哈哈你思想真成熟
Ha, ha. Real mature.
哈哈你思想更成熟
You forgot the dog again.
你又把狗给忘了
No, you forgot the dog.
不是你忘了
Great mom you'd be.
你肯定会是个称职的妈妈
Morning. Morning.
早安早安
I heard screaming coming out of your bedroom last night,
昨晚我听到从你房♥间传出的尖叫声了
and it didn't sound like the good kind.
听起来不像是享受其中啊
Do you want to talk about some of the disturbing things
那你需不需要我分享一下
I've heard coming out of your bedroom?
昨晚从你房♥间传出的叨扰声
"Hot buns coming at ya."
"新鲜出炉的小面包来咯"
Really, Mom?
有没有搞错老妈
You're the one who gave me the chef's hat and apron.
是你把厨师帽和围裙给我的呀
To be used in the kitchen!
那是让你在厨房♥用的
I would, but I don't want you kids walking in on us.
我可以啊但是我可不想被你们姐妹俩撞见
Morning, Mrs. Flynn.
早安 Flynn太太
Hello. Yeah. Whatever.
早随便了
How'd you sleep, Mike?
睡的怎么样啊 Mike
Back-to-back.
背靠背睡的
Not gonna have a baby that way.
这样可生不了孩子哟
Unless he's some kind of circus freak.
除非他是马戏团的怪咖
Have a pleasant morning.
祝您有个愉快的早晨
Good day to you. Yeah, whatever.
你也一样是了是了随便了
Okay, want to talk about it?
好了想谈谈吗
No.
不想
He's been leading me on this whole time,
他一直给我一种
making me think he wants a family,
他想组建家庭的错觉
and now he's backpedaling.
现在倒好打退堂鼓了
Remember when I took you kids to the circus
还记得你们小时候我带你们去马戏团
and we saw that big bear on a unicycle?
看骑独轮车的大狗熊吗
Hmm.
记得
W-What does that have to do with anything?
那事跟这事有什么关系
Beats me. It just popped in my head.
没关系只是它自己突然冒出来了
I'm not getting any younger.
我也不年轻了
And if we want to have kids, two girls and a boy,
如果我们想要孩子的话两男一女
Charlotte, Zelda, and Scott,
取名为Charlotte Zelda和Scott
he's gonna have to get on the stick.
他得动起来才是