迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S02E20

Part 4 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:26 p.m.

At this rate, our honeymoon's gonna be a conjugal visit!
以这速度我们是要在配偶探监时度蜜月了
Ow!
哇
Buck up and sit down!
打起精神坐下
Great, she's a kicker and you're a hitter.
太好了她踢人你打人
What kind of family am I marrying into?
我这找的是什么人家啊
A loving, supportive one.
一个友爱互助的家庭
And we are gonna help my little angel
我们要帮助我家小天使
look her best for her wedding.
在婚礼上展现出她最完美的一面
What if she doesn't lose the weight?
要是她体重减不下来呢
What if the dress doesn't fit?
要是那婚纱她穿不下呢
That is not an option!
这可没得选
Please don't hit me again.
别再打我了
Look, I've been through this with her before.
我之前也见过她这样
She gets her mind set on something
她打定主意做什么
and God help anything that gets in her way.
老天总会想尽一切办法阻挠她的
Wait, so she's acted this way before?
等等她以前也这样过吗
Are you kidding me?
这怎么可能是第一次
Prom, senior picture day, and one God-awful summer
高中舞会毕业照的日子还有她决定练习手风琴
when she decided to master the accordion.
的那个可怕的夏天
I didn't know she could play the accordion.
我都不知道她会弹手风琴
Huh.
哈
Second runner-up,
季军
Cook County Polka Festival, pre-teen division.
库克县波尔卡舞节青少年组
Three worst days of my life.
我这辈子最糟糕的三天
So are you gonna go talk to her?
你会和她谈谈吗
I've had a lifetime of talking to her.
我已经和她谈了一辈子了
You're gonna be her husband, so now it's your turn.
你就要成为她丈夫了所以现在轮到你了
Take this to your future bride.
把这个给你拿未来的新娘送去
Sleepy time tea... always calms her down.
安眠茶总能让她平静下来
Okay.
好吧
Sometimes I find it's helpful to drop
有时我发现加点安♥眠♥药♥
an ambien in, just to make sure crazy goes night-night.
很有效确保那疯子能睡觉觉
What the hell?
这他♥娘♥的♥
Nobody gains weight in prison!
进监狱也会长胖
Knock, knock.
咚咚
Brought you your tea.
给你拿了杯茶
Put an ice cube in there so it's not so hot,
加了冰块所以不会很烫
in case you spill it or it gets thrown.
防止你把它撒了或扔了
You think I'm crazy, don't you?
你觉得我是疯了对吗
What? I don't think that.
啥我没那么想
And I certainly wouldn't say that.
我当然不会那么说的
If I did, who'd be the crazy one then, right?
如果我这么说了我就成疯子对吧
I'm so caught up in this wedding,
对这婚礼我太投入了
and I know I'm driving everybody nuts.
我知道我把大家都快逼疯了
You've been a little off your game,
你也许有点过火
but I don't think anyone else has noticed.
但我想没人注意到的
Come on.
算了吧
Few cops, couple eyewitnesses...
也就几个警♥察♥和目击者
but for all they know, you're like that all the time.
但对他们来说你一直如此
I'm sorry to put you through all this.
很抱歉弄得你那么难堪
I just, I wanted to look perfect for you on our wedding day.
我只是想在婚礼那天能够让你看到最完美的我
Are you kidding?
开什么玩笑
You look perfect to me all the time.
你对我来说一直都是完美的
Whether it's just waking up in the morning
无论是早上醒来
wearing one of my football jerseys
穿着我足球衫的你
or cleaning the garage in those goofy-looking overalls
还是穿着傻乎乎的工装打扫车♥库♥的你
or this whole gypsy fortune-teller thing
或是现在这样穿得像
you got going on here.
吉普赛神婆的你
Listen, you don't have to squeeze into some wedding dress
听着你不必硬要穿上那件婚纱
to look perfect to me.
打扮漂亮给我看
You're already the most beautiful woman in the world.
你已经是世界上最美的女人了
I love you.
我爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
Come on, let's get into bed.
走吧我们上♥床♥吧
I know better than to argue with a crazy woman.
比起和疯婆娘吵架这个我更在行
We got to get up bright and early
我们还要早起呢
if we're gonna get in those three miles.
如果我们想跑完3英里
Wait, did you not hear a word I just said?
等下我刚刚的话你一句也没听进去吗
I am getting married in three weeks,
我还有三周就要结婚了
and I'm gonna fit in that freaking wedding dress
我还要穿上那件变♥态♥的婚纱呢
if it kills us all!
这全是它害的
God, what's it gonna be like when she's pregnant?
天她怀孕时会疯成什么样呢
Mike! Coming!
Mike 来了
Okay, which button is it?
好的要按哪个键
It's the red one, mother.
红色的那个妈妈
All right, Molly, play it for mommy.
好了 Molly 弹给妈妈听吧
That's beautiful.
太好听了
Is that, uh, "Frere Jacques?"
这是"两只老虎"吗
"Beer barrel polka," Mother.
是"啤酒桶波尔卡" 妈妈
Wow, it's like having Lawrence Welk in the living room.
简直像在听Lawrence Welk现场表演
Isn't she good, Victoria?
她弹得是不是很棒 Victoria
Amazing!
太棒啦
Okay, sweetie, you keep playing.
好吧宝贝你接着弹
Mommy's gonna make us all some lunch.
妈妈去做午饭
No, mom, I'm getting to the best part!
别妈我马上就要弹到精华部分了
You're gonna miss the best part!
你会错过精华部分的
Okay, I'll stay.
好吧那我再待会
Victoria, get mama's vodka out of the freezer.
Victoria 给妈妈把伏特加从冰箱里拿来
Amazing!
太棒啦
Tall glass, two cubes!
高脚杯两块冰
Amazing!
太棒了