迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S02E21
Part 2
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:26 p.m.
You want me to take him to my bachelor party?
你想让我带他去我的单身派对吗
Well, I certainly don't want him here for my bachelorette party
我当然不想你妈妈来参加我的单身派对
with your mother in attendance.
看到他也在场
What, why the hell is my mom coming?
啊 搞什么怎么我妈也来
Because you said, and I quote,
你自己说的 你是这么说的
"I think it'd be nice if you asked my mother..."
我觉得如果你邀请我妈会比较好
Okay, first of all, I do not talk like that,
好吧 首先 我说话不那样
and second of all,
其次
I can't take my dad to my bachelor party.
我不能带我爸去我的单身派对
He'll ruin everything.
他会把一切都毁了的
Ruin what? You said you were just going to
毁什么 你说你只是去
"Grab a steak, smoke a cigar,
"吃点牛排 抽根雪茄
drink some scotch..."
喝点苏格兰威士忌"
Is that seriously how you think I sound?
你真觉得我的声音听起来是那样吗
Wait a minute, you don't want your dad to go along
等会儿 你不想让你♥爸♥去
because Carl is taking you to a strip club.
是因为Carl要带你去脱衣舞俱乐部
What? He'd better not be.
什么 他最好别那么做
I hate those places.
我讨厌那种地方
The guys are all perverts, the women are all sad.
男的都是变♥态♥ 女的都苦大仇深
I can't think of a worse place to have a bachelor party.
我想不出还有比在那办单身派对更糟的地方
Yuck.
呸
Fine, I'll take my dad!
好吧 我带着我爸
See, you sound just like yourself.
听到了吧 你说话的声音就是这样的
Didn't see you in the cafeteria today.
今天怎么没在餐厅见到你
You missed a good one.
你错过了好东西
Frito pie and blueberry crumble.
油炸玉米馅饼和蓝莓酥
That's why the windows are open.
所以我把窗户打开了
Hey, grease, cheese, and fritos.
嘿 油 奶酪和油炸玉米饼
It ain't gonna come out pretty.
闻起来应该不怎么样
Anyway, I brought you a little something.
不管怎么样 我给你带了个小东西
What's this for?
这是干嘛
Well, I won't be attending your soirate tonight,
我今晚不能去参加你的派对了
so I thought I'd give you my gift here.
所以我想先在这儿把礼物给你吧
And don't get your hopes up...
不要抱太大希望
it's not dirty, and you can't eat it.
它既不淫♥荡♥也不能吃
Oh, you're not coming?
噢 你不来了
Aw, gosh, that's just a stinker.
哦 老天 那太没意思了
Darn it.
该死
Hey, cut the crap.
嘿 别装了
You and I both know you only invited me
咱俩都知道全是因为Mike叫你邀请我
'cause Mike told you to.
你才这么做的
What? It was totally my idea.
哪有 全是我的主意
I love your company.
我喜欢有你陪
You are a hoot.
你可是个活宝
Well, I got better things to do
好吧 我还有别的事要做
than sitting at a hen party, drinking pink squirrels,
比坐在妇女派对 喝着粉红松鼠
and giggling over rubber wienies.
对着震动棒傻笑要强的多
I understand your trepidation. Plus,
我理解你的顾虑 另外
you might want to steer clear of my house.
你大概也想避开我们家
Your ex is in town and
你前夫在城里
he's staying with us.
而且跟我们呆在一起
So Jack's here?
Jack来了
Yeah, and it's probably best if you guys don't have
是的 你俩分开20年后的第一次大眼瞪小眼
your first eye-to-eye in 20 years in my living room.
还是不要选在我家客厅的好
It's hard enough getting my mom's red wine stains
把我妈撒在地毯上的红酒印弄干净
out of the rug.
已经非常麻烦了
Hey, I got no beef with the man.
嘿 我和这人没有过结
Nothing to prove and no ax to grind.
往日无冤近日无仇
Really?
真的
Oh, I moved on with my life long ago.
哦 我早就开始新生活了
Did he bring the whore?
他和那婊♥子♥一起来的吗
No, he came by himself.
不 他自己来的
Between you and me,
这话就咱俩说说
I think there's a little trouble in paradise.
我觉得他后院可能起火了
Hmm, what a shame.
嗯 真遗憾
Sure do hate to hear that,
听到好人没有好报
when bad things happen to nice people.
我心里可真难受
What time is your shindig again?
你的晚会是几点来着
Uh, s-seven-ish.
呃 七点来钟
Why?
干嘛问这个
Well, you're going to be my daughter-in-law
你快成我儿媳妇了
and I'd hate to miss your special night.
我可不想错过你的特别的夜晚
You know what? You're right.
你知道吗 你是对的
It'll probably get pretty raunchy,
晚会到时候肯定乱糟糟的
so don't come.
所以还是别来了吧
I'll be by early to help you set up.
我会提前过去帮你准备
I'll bring some sipping whiskey and an x-rated board game.
我还会带点小瓶威士忌和限制级桌游
X-rated board game?
限制级桌游
Dirty scrabble.
就是脏话拼字游戏
It's actually just regular scrabble
其实就是一般的拼字游戏
with extra fs, bs, and js.
多了几个f b和j
Man, I can't believe you're bringing your dad
老兄 我不敢相信你竟然带你老爸
to my bachelor party.
来我的单身派对
I thought it was my bachelor party.
我觉得是我的单身派对吧
Did you plan it?
是你计划的吗
Are you the one that's been going to strip clubs
你有为了找到一个最好的脱衣舞♥女♥郎
for three months, trying to find the best one?
提前三个月就去各种脱衣舞俱乐部调查吗
I'm sorry, Carl, there's nothing I can do.
对不起啦 Carl 我也没办法
I can't leave him at Molly's house.
我总不能留他在Molly家吧
My mom's going to be there.
我妈妈还要去她那儿呢
So why don't you drop your dad off at a movie
那你为什么不让他去看场电影
or buy him a sweat suit and let him walk the mall?
或者给他买♥♥套运动服让他去商城里逛逛
Yeah, old people love going all knees and elbows at the mall.
老年人喜欢步履蹒跚地走在商场里
He's coming, and I don't want to hear another word about it.
我就是要他来 这件事到此为止
He'll ruin everything.
他会让大家扫兴的
You ever seen strippers around a cute, old dude?
你见过脱衣舞♥女♥郎跟老头热舞吗
It's like bringing a puppy or a midget.
这就像带着小狗或侏儒
They get all the attention.
他们抢尽了风头
I promise I'll keep him occupied.
我保证拖住他
You guys can still have a good time.
让你们可以好好玩
Yeah, a stripper slaps him in the face with her boob
是 脱衣舞♥女♥郎用咪♥咪♥拍他的脸
and his teeth wind up in my watery sprite.
然后他的牙齿会飞进我的饮料杯里了
Hey, Molly.
嘿 Molly
What?
什么
My mom's on her way to the house?
我妈妈要去你家
Yeah, my dad's there.
是 我爸在那
He's probably still asleep on the couch.
他可能还在沙发上睡觉
All right, on my way.
好的 我这就回去
Hit the siren. We got to get there
拉警笛 我们得尽快赶到
before we have to arrest my mom and tag and bag my dad.
不然就得逮捕我妈 给我爸收尸了
This is gonna be nice.
这样挺好的
Just us gals sitting around,
我们几个女孩坐在一起
sipping some cocktails, having a little girl talk.
喝点鸡尾酒 说点悄悄话
Sure.
可以
But keep in the back of your mind,
不过记着
it's not too late to go out and do something fun.
现在决定出去找点乐子也不迟
Yeah, I was hoping for a big hunk of penis-shaped cake,
是啊 我本希望来一大块的JJ形状的蛋糕
or seeing a big hunk's penis.
或是看看一大块头的JJ
Mom.
妈
Ooh, there's a place you can go downtown
市中心有家店
where you can lick whipped cream off a guy's bare chest.
那里美男裸胸上的奶油任君舔舐
Won't be able to do that after you're married.
你结婚后可以就没机会了
Have you met my fiance?
你们见过我未婚夫吗
His chest hair's like an easter basket.
他的胸毛就像复活节的篮子
That's not hyperbole.
绝不夸张
One time, I actually found a jelly bean.
有一次 我居然找到颗软糖豆
Two of them have to make everything dirty.
她俩非把一切都搞得这么黄
It's like my confirmation party all over again.
简直是我坚信礼派对的翻版
Whoa. Peggy.
喔 Peggy
Hope I'm not too early.
希望我来得不早
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
剧集 | 迈克和茉莉（2010） | 导航列表