迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S02E20
Part 3
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:26 p.m.
Took me almost three years, but I did it.
我花了大概三年的时间 但我成功了
Well, I'm... I'm happy for you, seriously.
我 真为你高兴 真的
Oh, this is, uh, my fiance, Mike.
这是 我未婚夫 Mike
Hi.
嗨
Doesn't she look great?
她是不是看起来很棒
Sure.
当然
52 pounds.
52磅
Well, you set a goal and you hit it.
你定了目标 然后实现了
Bully for you.
你可真棒
The key is not to try and lose it too quick.
关键是不要操之过急
Absolutely.
当然
Yeah, that's what
是 我也总想
I'm always trying to tell this guy over here.
这么教育他的
Slow and steady wins the race.
要稳步取胜
Don't I always say that? She does.
我不是也总这么说吗 的确
Never in this context, but it's a good rule anywhere.
但不是在这种语境下 不过这道理适用于任何地方
Those crash diets never work.
那些减肥餐从来没有用
You try starving yourself,
你努力节食
you just end up gaining more weight.
只会让你更胖
Right.
没错
I say that, too.
我也这么说
That's... yeah, yeah.
真是 对 对
Oh... I-I forgot my sports bra in the car.
我把运动文胸落在车里了
Looks like I'm wearing one,
虽然看起来我好像戴了一个
but that's just because they're naturally perky.
但那是因为我天生胸大
Excuse me. Where you going?
喂 你去哪啊
Are you coming back?
你还回来吗
Welcome, everybody.
欢迎各位
Let's wake those legs up.
让我们唤醒双腿
Spin away the cares of the day.
驱散一天的烦恼
In the saddle, out of the saddle. Ow. Ow!
坐下 起来 哦 哦
In the saddle, out of the saddle.
坐下 起来
Ow!
哦
"The key is try not to lose it too quick."
"关键是不要操之过急"
So smug.
太自以为是了
She has a tiny ass and one chin.
碍眼的小屁♥股♥ 尖下巴
Come on, Biggs.
行了吧 Biggs
I know you've got candy in here somewhere.
我知道你在车里藏了糖
Come on, think like Mike, think like Mike, think like Mike.
快点 Mike会怎么想 Mike会怎么想 Mike会怎么想
Bup-bup-bup.
啪 啪 啪
Jackpot!
找到宝了
Yep.
好的
Thought you had me, didn't you?
以为这样就能俘获我了 是吗
Not this time, you fun-sized son of a bitch.
这次不行 你个迷你小混♥蛋♥
Hey.
嘿
Oh.
噢
Excuse me.
不好意思
You hit my car.
你碰到我的车了
Sorry. It's covered in dents already
对不起 反正你的车已经有坑了
and my car's fine, so no big whoop.
我的车也没事 所以就别大惊小怪的了
Whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa.
喔 喔 喔
It's a whoop, it's a very big whoop.
就要大惊小怪 非常值得大惊小怪
Come on, I'm late for spin class.
算了吧 我上课要迟到了
And, FYI, this parking lot is for gym members only.
多说一句 这个停车场只对健身会员开放
Well, FYI, I am a gym member.
我也多说一句 我是健身会员
Of course you are.
你当然是了
Look, how about I give you five dollars,
这样吧 我给你五元钱
buy yourself a slice of pizza, we'll call it even.
你自己去买♥♥份披萨 我们就扯平了
Now we're even!
现在我们扯平了
Oh!
哦
Think you're so smart, don't you?
觉得自己很聪明是吗
My boyfriend's a cop;
我男友是警♥察♥
he still needs a cheat sheet for the microwave!
他用微波炉时还得看说明书呢
Molly?
Molly
Mike!
Mike
Molly!
Molly
Mike!
Mike
Molly, you've got my keys!
Molly 我的钥匙还在你那
Ow! Ow! Ow!
喔 喔 喔
I can't believe this!
真不敢相信
I've never been arrested in my life. What'd you do?
我从未被捕过 你干什么了
A woman in the parking lot got very snotty with me, I...
一个女人在停车场跟我玩混的 我
... accidentally kicked off her side view mirror.
一不小心就踢掉了她的侧视镜
I admire your restraint.
你的自♥制♥力令我好生钦佩啊
I once bit off a woman's ear lobe for giving me a bad manicure.
我曾经因为美甲没做好而咬掉那女人的耳垂
Well... there's nothing worst than a bad manicure.
没有比这更糟的事了
Yeah! I couldn't speak Korean,
是呢 我不会说韩语
so I opted for the universal language of
所以我选择世♥界♥通♥用语言
I'm biting your ear off, bitch.
我咬掉你的耳朵 贱♥人♥
Surely, girl's gotta make her point.
没错 女孩就该表达自己的想法
If the gal's on angel dust and bathtub crack,
尤其是当一个女孩磕了药 洗澡的时候浴缸又裂了
it could take four cops and a dog to get her off her soapbox.
需要四个警♥察♥一条狗才能把她从肥皂盒上取下来的时候
So what's your poison?
那你磕了什么药
Well, I've been on kind of a crazy juice fast.
我在疯狂的节食减肥
And I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm tweaking pretty bad.
和你说实话 我现在很抓狂
Oh, I am never so mean as when I am hungry.
我饿肚子的时候都没这么刻薄过
I did four days on Jenny Craig, lit my boyfriend's legs on fire.
我在Jenny Craig做过节食了四天 然后用把我男友的大腿烧着了
Oh, my God.
老天爷啊
I was actually aiming for his junk,
其实我想烧的是他的鸡鸡
but the welding torch sparked.
但焊枪总是喷火花
Those things can be tricky.
那东西很难上手的
Other than that, though,
除此之外
did you have any success on Jenny Craig?
你在Jenny Craig减肥有成果吗
You know what, portion control ain't my strong suit.
控制饮食不是我的菜
Tell me about it.
跟我说说
When I open a can of Pringles, I don't stop till I hit dust.
当我打开一罐品客时 通常会吃死方休
I'm just so emotional lately,
我只是最近很情绪化
and I'm getting married in three weeks,
我还有三周就要结婚了
and I've been acting crazy.
我最近就像个疯子
That's a stressful time.
这是个压力山大的时候
Lots of couples can't take the pressure,
很多人承受不住这种压力
especially if you lit the groom-to-be's legs on fire.
尤其是当你用火烧了准新郎的大腿
I can see how that might give a fella cold feet.
这样肯定会让那家伙临阵退缩
Ironically.
开个玩笑
I just don't want to give up.
我只是不想放弃
I set a goal for myself and, my God, I want to meet it.
我为自己定了目标 亲娘啊 真的好想实现
Hopefully without killing somebody.
但愿不要闹出人命
Or paying somebody else to do it for you.
你也可以买♥♥凶杀人
I didn't hear a thing.
我什么也没听见
So, is everything okay?
一切还好吗
The woman agreed to drop the charges
那女人同意撤诉了
if I paid for a new side view mirror and a new brake light.
前提是我赔她一个新的侧视镜和刹车灯
That brake light was broken before I kicked it!
那刹车灯在我踢之前就坏了
I said I believe you.
我说了我相信你
Now, why don't you run upstairs and take a shower.
你干嘛不上楼去冲个澡呢
Not that he's trying to tell you what to do.
他并不是想命令你
Nah, I would never do that.
我绝不会这么做的
Shower if you want.
你想洗就洗
I mean, you did sit in somebody's pee,
不过你确实坐到别人的小便上了
but it's your call.
但随你便
I'm gonna go take a shower.
我这就去洗个澡
I don't know who that woman is!
我不认识这疯女人
Shh.
嘘
Keep your voice down.
小点声
And if you're gonna cry,
如果你想哭
cry in the kitchen.
到厨房♥哭去
Thought I was marrying a sweet little schoolteacher,
我想娶的是位温柔可人的老师
not some car-kicking lunatic.
而不是砸车的疯子
There's three weeks until the wedding
离婚礼还有三周
and Molly's already been thrown in the pokey.
Molly已经被关过监狱了
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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