迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S02E12
Part 1
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:25 p.m.
Scrambled eggs with English muffin,
炒鸡蛋配英式松饼
and cottage cheese with one sliced peach.
白干酪配桃子切片
No, man, the cottage cheese is mine.
不是的 白干酪是我点的
Oh, my bad.
哦 我搞错了
I was confused because he's usually the one
我刚还困惑 因为他才是经常
who gets the plate of fat man baby food.
吃高热量婴儿食品的人
But I guess, no matter who orders it,
但是我想 不论是谁点的
I'm the one that takes crap for it.
我都是替罪羊
That appears to be the case.
看起来是这样
Can you please just order pancakes,
你能只点薄煎饼吗
so I don't have to go through this?
我就不用这么尴尬了
Can't. I want to keep it light
不能 我想少吃点
'cause Christina's making a special dinner for me.
因为Christina做了大餐等我
Oh, man, how do you eat this stuff?
天哪 你怎么吃得下这个东西
It's not really milk, it's not really cheese.
又不像牛奶 又不像芝士
It's like sour cream and oatmeal had an ugly baby.
就像酸奶油和燕麦片的丑恶结合体
Just pretend it's something else.
假象一下这是别的
That's what I do.
我就是这样
Right now, I'm pretending
现在 我假想
these plain scrambled eggs are a delightful Denver omelet,
这些没啥味道的炒鸡蛋是可口的丹佛煎蛋卷
this dive we're sitting in is a quaint new Orleans bistro
这家饭店是一家有情调的新奥尔良小酒馆
and I'm Turner and you're hooch.
我是Turner 你是Hooch
Really?
真的吗
See, I always go to lethal weapon.
瞧 我总是幻想的是<致命武器>
I'm Danny glover and you're
我是丹尼格洛弗 你是
Mel Gibson with a thyroid condition.
梅尔吉普森 不过甲状腺有点问题
Just eat your curds.
吃你的凝乳吧
So, sounds like things are going pretty good
这么说 你和Christina
with you and Christina.
处得非常好
I am truly smitten.
我都神魂颠倒了
I mean when she talks, I'm actually listening to her
她说话时 我真的听进去
and not just nodding my head and imagining
而不是光想着
what she looks like naked on a see-saw.
她裸体坐在跷跷板上是什么样
So, is there a chance that tonight,
那今天你有机会
there's gonna be more than food on the menu?
享用到不只是食物的东西吧
The sexual aspect of our relationship is moot,
我们之间关系的迷人之处在于未知
'cause we've already connected on a soulful, spiritual level.
我们已经达到了灵魂和精神交往的高度
And that's why you got a clean pair of undies
这就是为什么你的手套箱里有一套
and a toothbrush in your glove box.
干净的内衣和一支牙刷吗
As well as a three-pack of flavored love jellies
还有三个爱情风味果冻
and a strip of condoms long enough to choke a World War II machine gun.
还有一条长到足以塞进二战机关枪的套套
Hooch you are are a bad bad dog.
Hooch 坏狗狗
come on, ladies, shake a tail-feather.
快点 女士们 摇晃尾巴动起来
You can "Paint and pluck" In the back of the rv.
上色和拔毛留到房♥车上去玩儿吧
I thought you were getting a room at the casino.
我还以为你们在赌场定好房♥间了呢
Not just a room, my friend... the presidential suite.
不只是简单的房♥间 订的可是总统套房♥
That's three beds, a wet bar and two and a half crappers.
有三张床 小酒吧 还有两个半厕所
Then why you renting the mobile home?
你为什么租♥房♥♥车呢
Well, the casino is right on the Illinois-Indiana border
因为赌场在伊利诺斯州和印第安纳州的边界
and I have some business that requires wheels,
我正好有些生意需要用到车
cargo space and temperature control.
存储空间的还有温控装置
You back to selling expired meat
你又要卖♥♥
out of the trunk of your car again?
你汽车后备箱的过期肉了是吧
Before we continue this conversation,
先别急着说
am I talking to Mike the cop
和我说话的人是Mike警官
or Mike, the lovable lump who can keep a secret?
还是那个可爱的保守秘密的Mike小胖墩
Hey, forget it. Don't tell me.
算了 别告诉我
I don't want to make myself an accessory.
我不想当从犯
Don't worry, it's not illegal.
别担心 我♥干♥的事合法
At least not in Indiana.
至少在印第安纳合法
You' bringing back fireworks?
你要带回来烟火吗
How are you not a detective?
你真是侦探的料
Well, the written test really thins the herd.
笔试太难了呗
I got a connection who gets 'em directly from Shanghai.
我有关系 从上海直接进货
And not just firecrackers and bottle rockets.
不只有鞭炮和火箭筒
We're talkin' those big mothers
我们还要进点大家伙
you want to light with a six-foot punk
你点火的时候得靠一个六英尺高的人
and another guy's arm.
的手去点才可以
Do the women-folk know they're gonna be
女士们知道她们要坐的车
toodling around in a vehicle
塞满了
filled with discount Asian explosives?
亚洲处理过来的爆♥炸♥物吗
Hey, those broads are getting a free weekend
那些女人的周末过得很爽
of jacuzzi tubs and pai gow poker.
天天泡按♥摩♥浴缸 打牌九扑克
They can put up with a little
她们完全可以在回来时
white-knucklin' on the ride home.
来点小刺♥激♥也没事啦
All right, all packed and ready to go.
好啦 准备就绪 马上出发
Hey, you guys are gonna have the place
嘿 你俩这个周末
all to yourselves this weekend.
要独处了
Huh.
哈
You know, you're right.
是的 你是对的
I hadn't even thought about it.
我可从未想到过
Sweetie, did you realize that we're gonna
亲爱的 你有没有意识到
have house to ourselves?
整个周末房♥子都是我俩的
Well, I'll be darned.
真是可恶啊
Huh! Gee, I hope we don't get lonely.
哈 我希望咱俩不会孤单
You kids are welcome to come with us.
你俩可以加入我们的
There's plenty of room in the rv.
娱乐车上有很多房♥间的
No. No.
不用了
You go ahead and enjoy yourselves.
祝你们玩儿的开心
We'll manage.
我们对付的过去
We better hit the road.
我们最好现在就走
The sooner we get to Indiana,
我们到印第安纳州越快
the sooner we can get the hell out of Indiana.
我们就会从那儿滚回来地越快
Have a good time. Drive safe.
玩的开心 路上小心
Especially on the way back.
特别是回来的时候
Huh!
哈
House all to ourselves
我们俩的房♥子
you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
你知道我在想什么吗
Order pizza and make prank phone calls?
点披萨 打恶作剧电♥话♥
Yeah, baby.
是的 猜中了
I hope you enjoy this.
希望你喜欢
I don't get to cook grown-up food very often.
我并不经常给成年人做饭
Oh, I'm sure it'll be great.
哦 我猜一定很好吃
And even if it's inedible,
即使是真的不好吃
it's not like White Castle is gonna go out of business
White Castle还没停止营业呢
before my drive home.
在我开车回家之前
Having a six-year-old boy in the house,
家里有个六岁的儿子
I find myself cooking a lot of fish sticks
就得经常做鱼糕
and Mac and cheese shaped like little bunnies.
还有兔子形状的芝士通心粉
Oh, man, this is really good.
天 好好吃
And not just 'cause I'm starving to death.
不是因为我快饿死了
I factored that in.
这只是一个因素
Good to know.
很高兴你喜欢
And if you like my chicken piccata,
如果你喜欢吃我做的鸡排的话
you'll love my eggs Benedict.
你一定也会喜欢我做的火腿蛋松饼
Oh, that sounds great.
听起来很好吃的样子
Maybe I'll have breakfast here some time.
也许我哪天得在这儿吃顿早饭了
How about tomorrow morning?
明天早晨怎么样
I don't know.
不知道
Driving over here during rush hour might be kind of... oh.
堵车高峰期开车过来真是 哦
Jimmy's staying at his dad's place,
Jimmy在他爸那儿
so we have the whole house to ourselves.
家里就我们俩
Yeah.
好
Whoa!
哦
Don't get your hopes up.
别抱希望
That's just a toothbrush wrapped in a pair of underwear.
那个只是包在内♥裤♥里的一把牙刷
You realize this entire house is now
现在整个房♥子
our own little sexual bouncy castle.
都成了我们的性福城♥堡♥
I thought I was your sexual bouncy castle.
我以为我才是你的性福城♥堡♥吗
Seriously, we can do it anywhere...
正儿八经的 我们可以在任何地方做
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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