迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S02E15
Part 1
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:25 p.m.
Tomorrow night, I'm showing up
明晚 我会出现在
at Christina's house with a dozen red roses
Christina家门前手捧一打鲜艳玫瑰
and a box of fine Belgian chocolate.
外加一盒比利时巧克力
My lady don't care for no American chocolate.
美产巧克力讨好不了我家妹子
I can relate... I'm the same way with taffy.
这我认同 太妃糖对我来说也是这样
After I went to Atlantic City, I became a bit of a taffy snob.
我去过大西洋城市后 对太妃糖越来越挑剔
What are you talking about?
这么比划我就看不懂了
I've seen you eat plenty of crappy taffy.
我看你吃了不少劣质太妃糖
Yeah, but I don't enjoy it.
的确 但我没说喜欢啊
Anyway, after that, I'm taking her out to dinner.
不管怎样 之后 我要带她出去共进晚餐
Five courses, each paired with its own special wine,
五道菜 每道菜搭上不同的红酒
hand-picked by the in-house sommelier.
还是法国酒侍亲选
That's French for "Picker of the wine."
法语就是"挑酒师"
Wow, sounds like you're really going all out.
噢 听起来万事俱备了
Hey, it's our first Valentine's Day together.
嘿 这是我们共度的第一个情人节
Can't just drive through a Taco Bell
当然不能只是吃吃塔可钟
or take her bowling.
打打保龄球
No, I get it. I went through
那是 我晓得 我去年已经
the same thing last year, man.
体验过了没什么新鲜了 哥们
Candy, jewelry, carriage ride.
糖果 首饰 马车
Boy, I'm glad all that romantic crap is behind me.
小子 我真庆幸不用管那些搞浪漫的破事
You're at least gonna take her out
那你至少得带她出去
for dinner, though, aren't you?
吃顿好的 是吧
She said she didn't want to do anything.
我家那口子说她不好这些
No woman wants to cook on Valentine's Day.
没有那个妹子想情人节做饭
And every restaurant is booked solid.
每家饭店都爆满了
Unless it's got a guy out front
除了门口有个货打扮成
dressed as a hoagie and spinning an arrow.
大三明治拿着个转盘的那种
She said not to make a big deal out of it.
是她说不用搞花样的
I'm just following orders.
我遵旨就是了
Mm, that's what they said at Custer's last stand,
嗯 卡斯特将军最后一个士兵被印第安人
right before they got their dumb white asses tomahawked.
劈了之前也是这么听话
No, Molly's not like that.
Molly才没这么残暴
When she wants something, she tells me,
一旦她想要怎样 就会告诉我
sometimes two or three times until it really sinks in.
有时两三遍直到全方位多角度渗透
Yeah, let me explain this to you in a way you might understand.
来 我这么说你也许会明白点
You know how when I go to get a milk shake,
我拿奶昔的时候
and I ask you if you want one and you say no?
我问你要不你说不要
Uhhuh. Well, if I listen to you
嗯嗯 这下好了 我要是听你的
and I don't come back with your own milk shake,
不给你带奶昔
you get all pouty and mad.
你就会撇嘴耍无赖
Well,we've been together a long time,and I don't think I should have to ask.
咱们做基友那么久还用问啊
And that's why I always buy two milk shakes.
所以我总要买♥♥两杯奶昔
Otherwise, I'm gonna have to get another straw
要不然 我就得再拿个吸管
and share mine with you, and that's a race I cannot win.
和你分享我的奶昔 但最后我总是吃亏
Egg whites with wheat toast.
蛋白加全麦吐司
Denver omelet with hash browns.
煎蛋卷加土豆煎饼
Oh, hash browns.
喔 土豆煎饼
And that's why Carl ordered the second plate.
这就是为啥Carl多点了一份
Now, let me ask you, how would you feel right now
现在 我问问你 感觉如何
if I didn't order you those hash browns?
如果我没给你点土豆煎饼
Uh-oh.
啊偶
In 24 hours, you and I are gonna be screwed
在二十四小时内 你和我将会
in two completely different ways.
被两种不同的方式搞
Okay, then how about something like this.
好了 要不这样吧
I'm dressed as Venus, the goddess of love,
我扮成维纳斯 爱情女神
and you're suspended over me
而你缭绕在我周围
like a bare-assed little Cupid.
扮成光屁♥股♥小孩丘比特
Look, I'll play along with this Valentine boudoir shot,
听着 我会参与这次情人节闺房♥摄影
but I am not dropping trou.
但我尺度有限
What are you worried about?!
你担心什么啊
It's just a sexy little keepsake for the two of us.
这只是一个我们性♥爱♥的小小纪念品
These things always end up on the Internet,
这些总是会被网络给糟蹋了
and I don't want my precious mother
我才不要我亲爱的老娘
to accidentally Google my shvantz.
不小心搜索到我的生殖器
Come on, how would that ever happen? Easy.
想多了 这怎么可能啊 容易的很
That old lady's on the computer all day googling shvantzes.
小老太她只要整天待在电脑前面搜小鸡鸡
Eventually, my number'll pop up.
最后 我那条就出来了
You know what, I'm rethinking the turkey franks.
你知道吗 我觉得土耳其香肠不是个好主意
Hey, everybody.
嘿 诸位
Hey, sweetie. Hey. Hey.
亲爱的
Can I talk to you for a second? Sure.
我能和你说会儿吗 当然
By the way, you're not hanging your nudie pics in the house.
顺便说下 你们不能把裸照挂在屋里
Oh. Of course not.
哦 当然不会
We can still get the T-shirts and coffee mugs.
我们可以印在短袖和咖啡杯上
What's up? I just want to make sure
咋了 我只是想确认下
we're still on the same page with Valentine's Day.
我们对情人节的看法是否一致
Now, you said to me, and I quote,
现在 你告诉我的 我引用
"Don't make a big deal of it."
别大动干戈了
And I meant it... you went all out last year.
我是这么说 去年你把好事都做尽了
Plus we're saving for a wedding... let's just go low-key.
加上我们正攒钱结婚 我们就走低端路线
Ah, good. I was just doublechecking. Seriously,
啊 好极了 我只是再次确认下 真的
no bouquets, no baubles. You got it.
不用奢华 不用铺张浪费 明白了
Just a, you know, a simple dinner out.
就是啊 简单出去吃顿饭
Right.
对啊
Out of the house?
出门呐
Of course. I mean, I can't have my lady
当然了 我才不会让我家小美人
cooked on Valentine's Day.
在情人节下厨
No, you cannot.
不 你当然不会
And don't go too expensive... st somewhere where, you know,
也不用太奢侈 而是去 那些地方 你懂吧
the spoon and the fork are two separate things.
刀叉分开放的地方
Of course. I mean, what was I gonna do,
当然咯 我会带你去
take you to Taco Bell and bowling?
吃塔可钟然后打保龄吗
You wouldn't like that.
你又不喜欢
Would you?
是吧
No, I would not.
不 我当然不喜欢
I'd kill you.
我会灭了你
Yeah.
那是
Last night I'm trying to watch TV,
昨晚我正想要看电视
and Grandma walks in front of me, like, half a dozen times,
我奶奶在我面前至少出现了 有 六次吧
carrying my laundry back and forth.
拿着我的脏衣服走前走后的
And you know how slow she walks.
你都不知道她走得有多慢
I missed half the game.
以至于我错过了半场比赛
It's a testament to your character
由此可见你的好品质
that you're so patient with her.
你对她多耐心
What can I do? She's an old woman.
我能怎么样 她一个老太太的
I mean, she can't even shovel the driveway
她清除门前车道的时候
without me showing her where she missed a spot.
要不是我提醒她都会漏扫一处
She's lucky to have you, Carl.
能有你她真是三生有幸 Carl
You're a good grandson.
你真是个好孙子
But why wouldn't you be?
话说回来 你本来就是这样
You're a great cop and a wonderful friend.
你是个好警♥察♥ 一个挚友
What's going on with you?
你到底怎么了
What do you mean?
你说什么呢
Nah, you've been shamelessly kissing my ass all morning.
呐 你一个早上不要脸地拍马屁
I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em. Uhhuh. Then
我只是实事求是 恩恩 然后呢
how come you never seen 'em this way
我和你认识这么多年
in all these years I known you?
都没见你这么说过
Jealousy.
嫉妒嘛
You're a handsome man, and it can be intimidating.
你一个风度翩翩的男人 我羞于启齿嘛
Oh, no, something smells rotten in here,
哦 不对 有什么腐臭味了
and it's not just your feet and pits.
那一定不是你的臭脚和胸口
All right. Molly wants to go out to dinner tonight,
好了 Molly想和我出去吃晚饭
and every nice place is booked.
所有好地方都被预订了
See? I told you this would happen. I know, you were right!
看见没 我和你说过了 我知道你说中了
You're always right!
你总是对的
You're the smartest guy I know.
你是我所知最聪明的家伙
Wise and generous...
博学又大方
Oh, no! No! I see where you're going with this.
哦哦 不 我都看透你了
You're trying to piggyback on my plans with Christina!
你想占用我和Christina的完美计划
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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