在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E02

Part 3 July 29, 2020, 12:02 p.m.

A new recipe I call "Not pizza."
下一个
Next!
亚历克斯过来坐
Hey, Alex. Come sit up here.
如果你想要让我难堪
Okay, look, if you're planning on doing something embarrassing to me,
也比不上舞会那次的
it's going to be pretty hard to beat the dance.
你在逗我吗那次太酷了
Are you kidding? Dude, that was epic.
你差点就亲了诺丽·斯特林
You almost kissed Nori Sterling.
你就是传奇过来坐
You're a legend, dude. Come on, sit with us.
台阶有点晃
Yeah, that step's kind of wobbly.
我有个小发明可以修好
I have an invention that could fix that.
太逗了
Hilarious.
这不是玩笑不过算了
Wasn't really a joke, but whatever.
这比靠墙坐好多了吧
Beats sitting against that wall, huh?
嗯
Yeah.
太抱歉了
I am so sorry.
我不知道你坐这
I had no idea you were sitting up here.
好好享受
Enjoy that.
欢迎来到台上
Welcome to the Ramp.
在饭馆泡妹子
So is picking up women in diners,
是你的特长吗
like, a thing for you?
这点我还挺擅长的
Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm classy that way.
饭馆加油站
Diners, gas stations.
我和我妻子在自助洗衣店认识的
I met my wife at a laundromat.
前妻抱歉
Ex-wife. I'm sorry,
我是个菜鸟
I'm very new to this.
我离婚后第一次出来约会
This is my first date since the divorce.
-我也是 -有点怪吧
- Mine too. - It's kind of weird, huh?
嗯
Yeah, yeah.
不过还挺好的
But good weird.
是的
Yeah. Good weird.
我就不明白了
I don't get it.
你有男友干嘛还亲我
If you're dating someone, why'd you kiss me?
我当时没机会告诉你
Well, I didn't really have a chance to tell you
你一把就把我抱在怀里了
with you sweeping me up in your arms.
那你看上去也挺享受啊
Well, seemed to me you were enjoying the sweeping.
我不否认
I'm not saying I didn't.
抱歉我当时可能
And I'm sorry, I guess I just got caught up
没反应过来但其实吧
in the moment, but the thing is,
理查德和我已经在一起一段时间了
Richard and I have been seeing each other for a while now.
你们是认真的吗
Is it serious?
问题就在这我不知道
Well, that's the thing. I don't know.
每次我问他未来的事
Every time I mention anything about the future,
他就改变话题
he changes the subject.
你男友都是一类人
Well, you certainly have a type.
什么意思
What does that mean?
我们小时候
Oh, even when we were kids,
你就喜欢无法承诺的男孩
you were with guys who had commitment issues.
但你应该能找到更好的
But you deserve better.
你应该找个想跟你在一起
You should be with someone who totally wants to be with you,
无时无刻不在想着你
someone who can't stop thinking about you,
看到你就觉得时间停止的人
someone who, when they see you, time stands still.
我之前在哪听过这个建议
Where have I heard that advice before?
你知道是我对吧
You know it was me, right?
-亚历克斯 -路人
- Hey, Alex. - Hey, kid I don't know.
-你好啊亚历克斯 -哥们
- What's up, Alex? - Hey, guy.
亚历克斯
Hey, Alex.
听说你在台上吃午饭了
Heard you sat on the Ramp at lunch.
所以大家都对我很友好
Is that why everyone's being so nice to me?
可能吧
Probably.
这学校的人都很肤浅
People at this school are really shallow.
牛逼
A-Dog!
太肤浅了
So shallow.
你把男友的照片摘了
Hey, you took down the pictures of your boyfriend?
前男友
Ex-boyfriend.
你说的话我想了很多
I thought a lot about what you said--
我应该跟一个真正爱我的人在一起
how I deserve to be with someone who really wants to be with me.
我觉得这人不是他
And I realized that was never gonna be him.
太可惜了
That is terrible news.
太棒了
Yes.
小♥弟♥弟♥ 午饭怎么样
Hey, little B, how was lunch?
太扯了
Crazy, actually.
我在台上坐着瞬间就变得很受欢迎了
I sat on the Ramp, and now I'm suddenly popular.
太棒了十块钱花得太值了
Sweet. Best ten bucks I ever spent.
我刚跟诺丽聊了会她说
Yeah, and I was just talking to Nori, and she told me--
等等什么十块钱
Wait, I'm sorry, what about ten bucks?
我以为我说了我给迪安十块钱
I thought I told you, I paid Dean $10
让你这周跟他坐一张桌子
to let you sit at his table this week.
对了我能问你借点钱买♥♥午饭吗
Oh, by the way, can I borrow some money for lunch?
我只有十块钱迪安他都拿走了
I only had a ten, and...you know, Dean.
你干嘛自己开
Why are you driving like that?
几年前你不是改造过了吗
Didn't you convert this thing years ago?
对啊习惯了
I--yeah, yeah. Old habit.
自动驾驶汽车
Self-driving cars:
人们不需要这个发明
one invention the world didn't need.
真厉害你刚退休
Impressive. You've only been retired a little while,
就开始变成易怒的老头了
and you already have the cranky old man thing down.
埃莉诺的新信息
New message from Eleanor.
播放
Play message.
亚历克斯我跟理查德谈过了我要找你聊聊
Alex, I spoke to Richard, and I need to talk to you
尽快好吗
as soon as you can.
听着我知道过去
Okay, now, listen. I know that in the past
你说我老是操之过急
that you have accused me of getting ahead--
爸还等什么
Dad, it is so on.
我也是这么想的
That's what I was thinking.
新路线科基饭馆全速前进
New route, Corky's Diner, as fast as you can.
快点装作在开车
Go ahead. Pretend you're driving.
情圣你怎么回来了
Hey, Casanova. Surprised to see you.
怎么了
Really? Why?
我以为你俩约得那么开心
Well, I assumed, with how well things were going on your date,
你明早才会偷摸地回来呢
you'd be walk-of-shaming it home in the morning.
嗯
Yeah, well--
等等你怎么知道我约会挺好
Wait, how do you know my date went well?
这瓶没了
Well, this thing's kicked.
再来一瓶不
Should we get another bottle?
可以啊
We could.
或者我们可以去我家喝
Or we could have a drink back at my place.
你家
Your place?
太棒了
Yes, that is definitely something I would be interested in.
我马上去买♥♥单
Let me just pay the check as quickly as I can.
达瑞尔
我约会的时候屁♥股♥不小心给你打了电♥话♥
Okay, so I butt-dialed my entire date.
就前一个小时后来你手♥机♥没电了
Just the first hour, till your battery ran out.
你听了我约会一小时
Wait, you listened to my date for an hour?
我都结婚十五年了好吗
I've been married for 15 years, okay?
我这是在体验生活
It's called living vicariously.
你俩发展得很不错啊
So things seemed like they were heading in the right direction.
搞在一起了吗
You guys hooked up, right?
没有
Wrong.
我把我地址输你手♥机♥里吧
Should I put my address in your phone?
好的
Oh, sure. Yeah,
奇怪了我手♥机♥没电了
That's weird. My phone's dead.
我写你手上吧
I can just write it on your hand.
-好 -来
- Okay. - Here.
我该走了
You know what? I-I should go.
跟你吃饭特别开心
Iit was very nice dining with you.
下次再约吧
I hope to do it again soon.
紧紧地握了个手真的假的
A firm handshake? Seriously?
我离婚六个月了
It has been six months since my divorce.
我以为我准备好了其实没有
You know, I thought I was ready, but I am not.
没事
That's okay.
没人给你施压
Nobody's putting pressure on you.