在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E02

Part 1 July 29, 2020, 12:02 p.m.

我叫亚历克斯·莱利
My name is Alex Riley,
这部戏讲述我的一生
and this is the story of my life.
和大家一样我的人生有美好
Like any life, mine's had its good days...
太棒了
也有坎坷
Its bad days...
莎拉
Sarah!
还有相当精彩的日子
And its absolutely amazing days.
-欢迎 -老爸
- Welcome! - Hey, Dad.
-喜欢老爸的新家吗 -喜欢
- Do you like your new house? - Yeah.
对我而言这就是生活的全部意义
And to me, that's what life's all about:
纵使偶有曲折[打嗝] 也要勇往直前
moving forward, despite the occasional hiccup.
宝贝
Hey, honey.
你知道我交往的那个飞行员吧
You know that pilot I've been seeing?
洛杉矶那个
The one from LA?
他怎么了
What about him?
他向我求婚了
He asked me to marry him.
打嗝很容易搞定
Hiccups are easy to overcome.
知道什么难搞定吗
Know what aren't?
哽住
Chokes.
-他哽住了 -可不是嘛
- He's choking. - You're telling me.
不他是真的哽住了
No, he's literally choking.
小♥弟♥弟♥
Little bro!
貌似我搞砸了亲吻我梦中情人的机会是吧
Looks like I blew my chance to kiss the girl of my dreams, right?
错了
Wrong.
亚历克斯
Alex?
诺丽
Nori.
不得不承认总有一些时候
I'll admit, there are days when it's a challenge
出去面对外界是一种挑战
to get out there and face the world.
但是正如中国哲学大家老子所言
But as the Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu wrote,
"千里之行始于足下"
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
有时也始于一个打滚儿
Or, in some cases, a single roll.
三代同堂
第一季第二集
糟糕小♥弟♥弟♥高烧40度
Bad news. Little bro has a 104 fever.
-我没有 -是吗
- No, I don't. - Really?
那你怎么解释这个温度 40度
Then how do you explain this? 104.
你一上午都把它泡在热水里
You've been running it under hot water all morning.
尽管如此为了安全起见
Be that as it may, we should probably keep you home
也应该让你在家待着
just to be on the safe side.
他说的有道理
He's got a point.
亚历克斯
Frail kids like Alex
这种柔弱的孩子更容易生病
are much more susceptible to illness and disease.
首先我可不柔弱其次我也没生病
First of all, not frail. Second of all, not sick.
贾斯汀之所以想让我留在家里
Justin only wants me to stay at home
是因为他觉得午餐时其他孩子会对我很刻薄
'cause he thinks kids are gonna be mean to me at lunch.
这可是中学
This is middle school.
你整个社会地位都取决于
Your entire social status is determined
你在食堂里坐在哪儿
by where you sit in the cafeteria.
鉴于薄荷糖事件还没过去
And with the "Mint-cident" still fresh,
哽仔在食堂连张桌子都找不到的
Chokey here is gonna have a hard time finding a table.
那他为什么不能和你坐一起
Well, why can't he sit with you?
我们午餐时间段不同
We have different lunch periods,
所以到时我没法帮忙
so I won't be there to help.
我不需要你帮助
I don't need your help.
知道吗我像你这个年纪时
You know, when I was your age,
食堂这种地方
the cafeteria was a place
就是弱小无助被无情凌♥辱♥的地方
where the weak and defenseless were mercilessly preyed upon
就像羚羊落入水坑
like gazelles at a watering hole.
相信我我们当时真是冷酷无情
And believe me, we were merciless.
没什么可担心的好吗
Look, there's nothing to worry about, okay?
我没事的
I'll be fine.
以防你决定不吃午餐
Well, just in case you decide to skip lunch,
我给你多盛点儿燕麦粥吧
let's make sure you have some extra oatmeal.
不用了我拿块华夫饼就行
That's okay. I'll just grab a waffle.
你这周每天早饭都吃华夫饼
You've had waffles for every breakfast this week.
因为华夫饼是世上最美味的食物
That's 'cause they're the best food in the world.
你也吃不腻啊
Aren't you sick of them?
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding?
我可以每顿饭都吃华夫饼
I could eat waffles for every meal.
我可以每顿饭都吃华夫饼
I could eat waffles for every meal.
我不行我更喜欢薄煎饼
Not me. I'm more of a pancake man.
这也是我唯一不喜欢你的一点
Which is literally the only thing I don't like about you.
不如我们今晚带女儿们去科基
Hey, what do you say we take the girls to Corky's tonight
就"华夫饼还是薄煎饼"这个老话题一决胜负吧
and settle the old waffle/pancake debate once and for all?
你早餐吃着华夫饼
You're pitching me a waffle dinner
还想怂恿我晚上吃华夫饼
while eating a waffle breakfast?
我可能是有问题
I may have a problem.
不管怎么着我们今晚有安排
And anyways, you and I have plans tonight.
有安排
Plans?
之前买♥♥你发明的日本客户
The Japanese guys who bought your invention
回国之前邀请我们喝酒
invited us out for drinks to celebrate the deal
庆祝交易成功
before they head back.
我不想去
Oh, I don't want to do that.
我不关心你想不想
I don't care what you want to do.
能让你走出我的车♥库♥就是件好事
It'll be good for you to get out of my garage.
我经常外出啊
Come on, I get out.
是吗说个地方
Really? Name one place.
除了科基我家厨房♥
Besides Corky's, my kitchen,
以及艾比八岁小伙伴的生日聚会
or one of Abby's eight-year-old friend's birthday parties.
好吧我们今晚外出
Fine. We'll go out tonight.
外出去哪儿科基吗
Going out? Where to, Corky's?
不不是科基
No. No, not Corky's.
我和达瑞尔要庆祝一个特别的日子
Darryl and I are celebrating a special occasion.
今天是什么特别日子
What's the special occasion?
我和埃莉诺第一次正式约会
My first official date with Eleanor.
烛光上好的餐具你还真是全力以赴
Candlelight, the good plates. You're really going all out.
对啊等了真爱一辈子
Yeah, when you've waited your entire life
为什么要有所保留
to be with your one true love, why hold back?
好吧老爸你悠着点儿
Okay, Dad, slow your roll.
别那么着急就说爱
Let's not go using the L word quite yet.
嗯你说的有道理
Yes, you know what? You're right.
我应该等吃完开胃菜之后
I probably shouldn't tell Eleanor I love her
再跟埃莉诺说我爱她
until we've finished our appetizers.
好啦我开玩笑的
Oh, come on, I'm kidding.
你没开玩笑爸我知道你怎么想的
No, you're not. Dad, I know how your mind works.
你一旦对什么充满热情
You get so enthusiastic about something
你就立刻勾画未来了
that you immediately picture it way in the future.
对于发明家来说很棒
That's great for an inventor.
但是对于女人来说就...
But when it comes to women, it's--
-扫兴吗 -我想说疯狂
- Off-putting? - I was gonna say insane.
艾比你不用担心我很淡定的
Abby, you're worried over nothing. I'll be cool.
我不会再像14岁那样
I mean, it's not like I've done nothing but think about it
就苦苦思念了
since I was 14 years old.
-锁有问题 -嗯
- Locker troubles? - Yeah.
我来
Allow me.
亚历克斯·莱利开锁神器5000
The Alex Riley Locker Opener 5000,
申请专利中
patent pending.
谢谢亚历克斯
Thanks, Alex.
这是你男朋友吗
Is that your boyfriend?
嗯我当时挺气他的就这么干了
Yeah, I was kind of mad at him when I did that.
为什么他都干什么了
Why? I mean, what did he do?
更应该问他有什么没做
It's more like what he doesn't do.
比如没有承认我是他女朋友
Like officially call me his girlfriend.
你觉得我该和他分手
Think I should break up with him?
你自己决定
Look, that's your call.
我只是觉得你应该找一个
I just think you should be with someone
想跟你在一起
who totally wants to be with you
无时无刻不在想着你
and can't stop thinking about you
看到你就觉得时间停止的人
and when they see you, it's like time stands still.
你真的觉得我会遇见这样一个人吗
Do you really think there's someone out there for me like that?
肯定有
I'm positive.
我得走了你干什么去