在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E13

Part 1 July 29, 2020, 12:04 p.m.

有时向前走需要的时间比想象的要长很多
Sometimes moving on takes a lot longer than you would like.
这房♥子相当好
This house is perfect.
两间卧室
It's two bedrooms.
还在艾比的学区
It's in Abby's school district.
还有一个大后院
It's got a big backyard.
这和莎拉明天来城里
Would this have anything to do with Sarah
-有关系吗 -这话有点意思
- coming into town tomorrow? - That's interesting.
所以你的意思是我找到下家的前妻
So you're saying my happily engaged ex-wife visiting
来看望生活还在低谷的我
while my life is still in the toilet
会让我自我感觉很糟吗
would make me start feeling bad about myself?
不会很有见解嘛达瑞尔
No, that's very insightful, Darryl.
我只是想帮忙
I'm just here to help.
有时你以为自己向前走了
Sometimes you think you've moved on,
但其实并没有
but you actually haven't.
笑成这样和谁聊呢
Hey, Chuckles, who are you texting?
埃莉诺
Eleanor.
我的埃莉诺我是说是我认识的
My Eleanor? I mean Eleanor that I know
并介绍给你的那个吗
who I introduced you to?
明晚我们要和她及理查德
You'll be happy to know we're having a double date
来个四人约会高兴吧
with her and Richard tomorrow night.
他们以前喊你哽仔
They used to call you Chokey?
好好笑哦
Oh, I'm loving every part of this now.
有时你不最后试一次
And sometimes you're not ready to move on
就无法真正向前走
until you give it one last try.
好吧我决定了
Okay, this is it.
不耍计谋没有离谱的计划
No more schemes, no more crazy plans.
我就直接去找诺丽邀她参加冬季舞会
I'm just gonna go up to Nori and ask her to the Winter Formal.
确定吗我可有良策妙计
Are you sure? Because I have a pretty good scheme
-以及相当靠谱的计划 -拒绝
- and a really great plan. - No.
每次我想抖机灵都以惨败告终
Every time I try to do something clever, it ends in disaster.
所以我就径直过去邀请
So I'm just gonna walk over there and do it.
现在就去
Right now.
你都没动啊
You're not walking.
你确定我觉得自己在动啊
Are you sure? Because it feels like I'm walking.
确定没有你就原地没动
Yeah, no, you're just standing there.
诺丽
Hey, Nori.
要和我一起参加冬季舞会吗
Do you want to go to the Winter Formal with me?
好啊
Okay.
好棒
Sweet.
太好了
Yes.
别难过
Don't feel bad.
一切发生太快我的计划无法奏效
That happened so fast, my plan never would have worked.
我的计谋也许还有机会
Now, my scheme, that might've had a chance.
三代同堂
第一季第十三集[剧终]
爸爸魔术师什么时候来啊
Daddy, daddy, when's the magician gonna be here?
-一会儿就到宝贝 -好的
- In a little while, sweetie. - Okay.
-那恶魔什么时候来 -什么情况
- And when's the devil coming? - What's this now?
我听奶奶说什么恶魔会来
I head Grandma say something about the devil coming.
-生日快乐宝贝 -妈
- Happy birthday, sweetheart. - Mom!
-说魔鬼魔鬼到 -妈
- Speak of her, and she appears. - Mom.
拜托
Oh, come on.
是她出轨毁了你的婚姻
She cheated on you and ruined your marriage.
各位今天言行别失态拜托了
Best behavior today, guys, please.
我尽量吧但要是酒杯空了
I'll try, but once Mr. Pinot Greej here is on empty,
说过的话就不算数了
all bets are off.
-莎拉 -亚历克斯
- Hi, Sarah. - Hey, Alex.
-杰里米呢 -他来不了
- So where's Jeremy? - Oh, he couldn't make it.
他得在餐厅上班
He had to work at the restaurant.
太遗憾了
Oh, what a shame.
不好意思这话听着有点诚意吗
Sorry, did that sound borderline sincere at all?
嗯有点
Yeah, borderline.
稍等魔术师的电♥话♥
Hold on. It's the magician.
你好神奇的哈罗德
Hello, Incredible Harold.
什么
What?
不真的吗
No. Seriously?
不你不能现在取消啊
No, you can't cancel right now.
不行我没法送你出庭受审
No, I can't give you a ride to your custody hearing.
-魔术师不来了 -什么
- The magician cancelled. - What?
他不来了吗
He's not coming?
没事的宝贝
Oh, that's okay, sweetheart.
这个派对依然会很有趣的
It's still gonna be a really fun party.
不知道吗
No, you know what?
我女儿要魔术师
My daughter wants a magician,
就得给她找魔术师
she's gonna get a magician.
没错我去拿我的高尔夫铁杆
Damn straight. I'm gonna grab my nine iron.
我们直奔法庭
We're gonna go down to that courthouse
让不可思议的哈罗德吓破胆
and strike the fear of God in Incredible Harold.
或者我们再找个魔术师也行罗恩
Yeah, or we could just get another magician, Ron.
-也可以 -嗯
- That works too. - Yeah.
如果你能完成报告
So if you want to finish writing up the report,
我可以做模型
I can finish the model.
我有个改装鱼缸泵的想法
I have this idea to modify a fish tank pump
能让老实泉[黄石公园内]真的喷水
so we can get Old Faithful to actually shoot water.
我们整个周末都可以一起做
We could even get together over the weekend to work on it.
除非你要去参加冬季舞会
Unless you're going to the Winter Formal.
你要去冬季舞会吗
Are you going to the Winter Formal?
不去我觉得舞会可傻了
Oh, no, no, I think dances are so stupid.
没错最差不过如此
Yeah, totally. They're the worst.
不过如果你和对的人一起
But if you went with the right person,
我觉得应该挺有意思的
I guess it could be kind of fun.
不我不觉得
No, I don't really think so.
嗯我也这么想舞会好傻
Yeah, me neither. Dances are dumb.
我得走了
Anyway, I should probably go soon.
我有足够时间完成项目
I'll also have plenty of time to work on the project,
反正我也不去舞会
as I'm also not going to the dance.
因为还没人邀请我
Since no one's asked me yet.
好哒
Okeydokey.
敬老朋友新朋友
To old friends, to new friends.
我们以后不能再聚了
Oh, it's a shame we're not going to be able
真是太可惜了
to get together like this more often.
-为什么 -我还没告诉他们
- Why's that? - I haven't told them yet.
告诉我什么怎么了
Told me what? What's going on?
埃莉诺和我要搬到蒙大拿了
Well, Eleanor and I are moving to Montana.
太好了
Oh, that's great.
好好笑说真的到底怎么了
Funny. Seriously, no, really, what's going on?
我们月底就走
We're leaving at the end of the month.
这下尴尬了
And now it's awkward.
我们正在弗雷斯♥诺♥上空两万英尺
We are 20,000 feet over Fresno.
右发动机燃料耗尽了
And the right engine gave out
左发动机累得就像给孩子
and the left one's working harder than a streetwalker
攒大学学费的站街女
trying to put her kids through college.
我尽力用平静的声音
I try to keep the terror out of my voice
对200名乘客说谎
as I lie to 200 souls
告诉他们一切都会没事的
and tell them everything's gonna be just fine.
-罗恩 -我抓着...
- All right, Ron. - So I grab--
谢谢你为孩子们表演
Thanks for entertaining the kids,
但我要宣布关于魔术师的事
but I have an announcement about the magician.
魔术师出什么事了吗
Is there a problem with the magician?
一切都会没事的
Everything is gonna be just fine.
原来的魔术师出了点小问题
There was a small issue with the original magician,
但我们找到了一个更好的
but we found an even better one.
有请神奇的亚历克斯
Please welcome the Amazing Alex!
大家好
Hello, everyone!
魔法的问候祝大家霍格沃茨
Magical greetings and Hogwarts to all.
亚历克斯会魔术吗
Alex does magic?
他还有很多你不知道的事
There's a lot you don't know about Alex.
你好呀小寿星
Hello, birthday girl.
什么你耳朵后面有两毛五吗
What? Oh, is that a quarter I see behind your ear?
天呐
Oh, boy.
抱歉差不多有两块七毛五
Sorry. That's, like-- that's, like, $2.75 there.