在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E04

Part 3 July 29, 2020, 12:02 p.m.

他当时不知道
Well, he did not know that at the time!
好吗他不知道
Okay? He didn't know.
我只是希望艾比第一次
I'm just saying, I wanted to be there for the first time
看电影里的卢克·天行者有我陪着
that Abby saw Luke Skywalker on the screen.
我懂你亚历克斯
I feel you, Alex.
要是我发现有人在我之前
If I ever found out that someone took Jasmine
带雅思曼去迪士尼乐园我会杀了他的
to Disneyland before me, I'd kill them.
我还是忘了吧
You know what, I'm just gonna drop it.
我忘不了
Oh, I'd never drop it.
没错我也永远没法释然
Yeah, no, I'm never gonna drop it.
你还没告诉她你带雅思曼去过迪士尼了吗
You still haven't told her that you took Jasmine to Disneyland?
温蒂出城了
Wendy was out of town
我又不想再去一次绘我良多陶艺店
and I did not wanna go to Color Me Mine again.
嗯机智
Yeah. Smart.
晚安二位
Good night, you two.
他们的门该关上了...
And their door should close...
现在
Now.
该走了
It's go time.
贾斯汀我给你准备了焦特可乐
Justin, I got you a Jolt
你就不会看电影犯困了
so you can stay up during the movie.
里面含了糖还有两倍的咖♥啡♥因♥
And it's got all the sugar and twice the caffeine.
早就想到了
Way ahead of you.
你确定要喝这么多吗
Are you sure you're supposed to have that many?
没事我感觉超好感觉无所不能
It's fine, I feel amazing, I can do anything,
我有了很多生意点子
I've got lots of business ideas.
好吧给
Okay. Well, here.
我给你也做了一根
I made you one too.
小弟真是太好啦
Little bro, this is so nice,
我都没给你准备东西
I didn't get you anything,
真想现在就送你点什么
I wish I could get you something right now.
生意点子开一家可以派送任何东西的公♥司♥
Business idea--a company that delivers anything you want.
先从送简单的书本开始
We'll start with something simple like books,
-然后再慢慢扩张 -这主意真糟
- then we'll expand. - That's a terrible idea.
专心点好吗《星球大战》走起
Look, focus, okay? "Star Wars." Let's go.
对我想跑过去我们跑吧
Right, I kind of want to run there, let's run there.
你没穿裤子
You're not wearing pants!
裤子会拖慢我的速度
They'll only slow me down.
太赞了
That was awesome.
是啊太不可思议了
Yeah, it was incredible.
你整场电影都在睡
You slept through the whole movie.
我没有
I did not.
开头讲了银河系
First there were all those words about some galaxy
然后讲了...
and then there was that,
天啊我整场电影都睡过去了
Man, I slept through the whole movie.
没事的
Hey, it's fine, okay?
重要的是我们一起做了件很酷的事
What's important is that we did something cool.
我们一起偷偷干坏事
And we went on a secret adventure
还没有被逮到对吧
and we didn't get caught, right?
错
Wrong.
怎么样罗恩
What's up, Ron?
准备好看湖人被打得屁滚尿流了吗
You ready to watch the Lakers get their butts beat?
不我准备好看公牛队落花流水了
No, I am ready to watch the Bulls go down.
-好吧 -不过湖人这个赛季挺菜的
- Yeah, sure. - Although the Lakers do kinda suck this season.
你得学学怎么呛声了
You gotta work on your smack talk there, big guy.
好吧
Well, you know,
我很高兴我们能
I'm really glad that we were able
不再计较《星球大战》的事了
to put this whole "Star Wars" thing behind us.
我也是我反应过度了已经无法改变了
Yeah. Me too. I overreacted. It's water under the bridge.
来我们去看比赛吧
Come on, let's go watch some hoops.
我录好在DVR里了
I got it all queued up on the DVR.
你还没听到关于比赛的消息吧
You didn't hear anything about the game, did you?
没有我把所有消息来源都关了
Oh, no, no, no, no, I turned off all my alerts.
也没上网我什么也不知道
I stayed off the internet. I know nothing.
-那太好了 -嗯
- Well, that's just perfect. - Yeah.
我对这场比赛充满了期待
I am so jazzed about this, I gotta tell you.
我可以说盼这场比赛盼了整整一周了
I literally have been looking forward to this game all week.
-是吗 -是啊
- Have you, now? - Oh, yeah.
-这场比赛一定很精彩 -确实
- It's gonna be a great one. - Oh, it is.
这将是本年度最精彩的一次比赛
I say it's gonna be the best game of the year.
尤其是结尾部分
Especially with that ending.
你这是什么意思
What do you mean by that?
最后三秒钟湖人领先一分
Three seconds left and the Lakers are up by one,
拉文从朗佐手里抢到球后
Lonzo gets the ball stripped by LaVine.
把球从篮下传给了洛佩斯
He chucks the ball down-court to Lopez,
一个不看人传球给了没人防可以投三分的波蒂斯
who no-looks it to Portis who is wide open for a three.
波蒂斯在亮灯前把球投出去了
Portis lets it fly and just as time expires,
太棒了公牛赢了
it's good. Bulls win!
不太抱歉了罗恩
Oh no, I'm so sorry, Ron.
我是不是剧透了什么重要内容
Did I spoil something that was important for you?
不过只是一场比赛而已
You know what? It's just one game.
还有很多比赛可以看
There'll be a million others you can watch.
跳球后公牛队掌握了进攻
And the tip-off is controlled by the Bulls.
本赛季最令人期待的对抗开始了
Settle in for one of the most anticipated match-ups of the season.
-波蒂斯投出三分 -波蒂斯投进了
- Portis from downtown. - Portis for three.
公牛开场三比零领先
The Bulls take an early 3-0 lead.
两份丹佛煎蛋配薯球和水果
I need two Denver omelets, side of tots, side of fruits.
明白
Got it.
做完菜之后再按铃
You only ding the bell when you finish the order.
好像错失了良机啊
Seems like a missed opportunity.
取餐煎饼法式吐司
I got short stack, French toast,
墨西哥式煎蛋发音无可挑剔
Huevos Rancheros, which I am pronouncing impeccably.
天啊亚力克斯你是我的救命恩人
Gosh, Alex, you are saving my life right now.
你还好吗
You okay back there?
比不上以七万英里每小时的速度环绕地球
Well, it's no traveling around the Earth at 70,000 mph
不过做煎饼也挺好玩的
but making pancakes is fun.
你为什么想去太空呢
Why would you even wanna go into space?
因为
Because.
那会是一次难忘的经历
It's gonna be unforgettable experience.
我大半辈子都在忙着工作
I've spent most of my life working.
剩下的时间我要享受生活
I'd like to spend the rest of it living.
说得太好了亚力克斯
That's beautiful, Alex.
而且我哥去年到海底潜水
Besides, my brother went to the bottom of the ocean last year.
回来以后一直在炫耀
He hasn't shut up about it.
土豆饼上菜
Hash browns up!
罗恩我们真的很抱歉
Ron, we're really sorry.
"我们"的意思是"我"
And by we, I mean me.
都是我的错
It's all my fault,
如果你要杀人那就杀我吧
so if you're gonna kill anybody, kill me.
其实你你还是还是别杀我
Actually, I-I prefer if you-- if you didn't kill me.
我们刚刚在健康课上学到
You know--we were just-- we learned in health class that
人脑直到25岁才会发育完全
our brains aren't even fully developed until we're like, 25.
我现在能用不发达的大脑说出话来
It's kind of actually amazing how I'm even talking right now
真是太神奇了
with my underdeveloped brain.
比如我是怎么组词的呢
Pft, like, how am I even forming words right now?
不知道
I don't know.
听我说
Okay, look...
说实话我从小
The truth is, my whole life,
习惯了我和妈妈两个人的生活
I've been used to everything being just me and my mom.
现在我成了家庭的一员
And now that I'm a part of this whole family thing,
到处都是规矩很难接受
the rules are all over the place and it's hard.
我从来都不用和别人住同一个房♥间
And, you know, I've never had to share a room with anyone.
从来都没有兄弟没有父亲
Never had a brother. Or a father.
说到底
And I guess the bottom line is
我是个新手
I'm new at all this.
帮我说说话啊
Back me up, will you?
没用
Useless.
我觉得你不应该做发明家
You know, I'm not sure you should've been an inventor.
你很适合做体育实况解说员
You would've made one hell of a sportscaster.
我可能有点过分了
Yeah, I may have taken it a little too far.
我明白
Look, I get it.