在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E12

Part 2 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

如果我给你20块钱呢
What if I gave you 20 bucks?
不绝对不行
No, absolutely not.
有道德的候选人
A candidate with morals.
比我想象的要难
This is gonna be tougher than I thought.
我不明白
I just don't understand
你怎么能离开我们的芝加哥公牛队呢
how you could leave our Chicago Bulls.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
如果你身处危险有人监视
Blink twice if you're in danger,
就眨两次眼
and you're being watched right now.
我很好爸
Everything is fine, Dad.
我想通过选秀进行重组
I wanted to rebuild through the draft
但老板想要标价过高的自♥由♥球员
and ownership wanted overpriced free agents.
所以我觉得该换主了
So the time felt right for a change.
你是芝加哥公牛的总经理
You were General Manager of the Chicago Bulls.
这就像身在天堂却说
That's like being in heaven and saying,
"这里也不怎么样"
"Eh, I could do better."
所以我才不想告诉你
See, this is why I didn't wanna tell you.
好吧
Fine, fine.
我只是...在和公牛
I just-- I get a little emotional
有关的事情上会有点激动
when it comes to the Bulls, I guess.
但我担心你
But I worry about you.
得到总经理的职位并不容易
You know, getting a General Manager's job is not easy.
别担心
Well, don't worry.
我已经得到几个工作机会了正在考虑
I already have a couple of offers I'm considering.
是吗太好了是谁的
You do? Good. From who?
知道吗
'Cause you know what?
你可以把它当做谈判的资本
You can use that as leverage to get more money
最后回公牛的时候提高报酬
when you eventually go back to the Bulls.
你真是无可救药
You are hopeless, you know that?
对不起我们谈论的
I'm sorry, it's just that we're talking
是我一生中最重要的东西
about the most important thing in my life.
是我还是公牛队
Me or the Bulls?
回答这个问题需要想这么久吗
Wow, it is taking you way too long to answer that.
不许在温蒂的派对结束之前和丽莎分手
Look, you cannot break up with Lisa until after Wendy's party.
什么为什么
What? Why?
她是温蒂最好的朋友之一
She's one of Wendy's best friends.
她被甩了就会很伤心
If she gets dumped, she'll be a mess.
她伤心温蒂就会伤心
If she's a mess, Wendy's a mess.
然后整个派对就被毁了
And then the entire party goes to hell.
你让我为了派对
So you want me to stay with someone
维持这段看不到未来的感情
that I don't see a future with just for a party?
这好像对丽莎不太公平
That doesn't really seem fair to Lisa.
不公平的是我雇的碧昂斯模仿者
What's not fair is the Beyoncé impersonator
要额外加钱才肯唱《疯狂爱恋》
that I hired is charging me extra to sing "Crazy in Love."
怎么能不包含这首歌♥呢
How is that not included?
我也是这么说的
That's what I'm saying.
对吧
Right?
拜托
Look, c'mon, man.
我想办一场完美的派对
I want this party to be perfect, alright?
只要再坚持两天
It's just another two days.
求你了
Please.
好吧两天
Alright. Fine. Two days.
只要不让我坐她开的车就行
As long as I don't have to ride in a car with her.
她开得有那么快吗
She really drives that fast?
就像在坐小什么什么开的车里
Yeah, it's like driving in a car with something something, Jr.
投票选亚历克斯·莱利为主席
Vote Alex Riley for President.
投票选亚历克斯·莱利为主席
Vote Alex Riley for President.
没听说过他
Never heard of him.
他是我的科学课实验搭档
He's my lab partner in Science.
你真的不能用哽仔这个名字参选吗
Are you sure you can't run as Chokey?
别担心我正在解决知名度的问题
Don't worry, I'm working on the name recognition problem.
我找校报刊登了一篇吹捧你的文章
I got the school paper to run a puff piece on you.
《从哽仔到亚历克斯救赎的故事》
"How Chokey Became Alex: A Redemption Story"
你怎么做到的
How'd you get them to do that?
有个记者欠我个人情
A reporter owed me a favor.
去年的"勇敢说不"集♥会♥上
I covered for him after an ill-timed fart
他不合时宜地放屁是我为他打的掩护
at the "Just Say No" assembly last year.
太厉害了
That's incredible.
谢谢贾斯汀
Thanks, Justin.
我还找到一位全校
I also got you an endorsement
最受欢迎的女士为你背书
from one of the most popular ladies in school.
诺丽要为我们助选吗太棒了
Nori's campaigning for us? That's great!
诺丽·斯特林要竞选主席
Nori Sterling is running for President.
你有麻烦了兄弟
You're in trouble, dude.
什么
What?
你说的是谁
Who were you talking about?
-真的假的 -怎么了
- Seriously? - What?
获得朗达的支持是巨大的成功
Getting Rhonda's endorsement was a major coup.
你想分手但又不得不和她在一起
So you have to stay with a woman you wanna break up with?
这就有点麻烦了
That's a bit of a pickle.
我知道这样不好但这是为了达瑞尔
I know, it's not great, but it's for Darryl, you know?
只需要两天
It's only for a couple of days.
我们在一起这么久了
We've been spending so much time together,
我不知道该怎么避开她
I just don't know how I'm going to avoid her.
这些年来我已经练就了一些有用的
Yeah, I've picked up on some helpful evasive maneuvers
躲避策略
over the years.
装病是个老掉牙但却很好用的手段
An oldie but goodie is the fake illness.
有次我跟别人说我得了流感
I once told someone I had the flu,
好让自己不用参加他们的足球比赛
so I wouldn't have to go to their soccer game.
对跟我说的
Yeah, that was me.
饶了我吧亚历克斯
Well, give me a break, Alex.
你的目标又不是打进世界杯
You weren't exactly headed for the World Cup.
重要的是你别做任何事去引导她
What's important is that you don't do anything to lead her on.
包括把你的飞机停在她的机库
And that includes parking your plane in her hangar,
懂我的意思吧
if you know what I mean.
你直接说"别做♥爱♥"
I think I would've been less grossed out
还不会这么恶心
if you had just said "no sex."
你现在就是在等待航道
You're in a classic holding pattern.
在机场上空盘旋直至跑道开放
You're circling the airport until a runway opens up
航♥班♥交通管制宣布
and air traffic control declares you
你可以安全降落
safe for a breakup.
你现在就是在强行拿飞机作比喻
Now I think you're really just forcing the airplane analogies.
收到
Roger that.
现在我可以飞往厨房♥了
And I am now free to move about the kitchen.
大家请系好安全带
Buckle up, everybody.
没完了
Still going.
请为诺丽投票
Vote for Nori.
欢迎给我投票
I'd love your vote.
亚历克斯
Oh, hey, Alex.
你要竞选主席吗
You're running for President?
是啊我那天跟你说过了
Yeah, I told you the other day.
亚历克斯我在想...
Hey, Alex, so I was thinking about--
-你真好闻 -什么
- You smell so good. - What?
交谈愉快没有人说了奇怪的话
Great conversation. Nobody said anything weird.
再见
Bye.
抱歉我肯定是误解了
Sorry, I must've misunderstood.
那现在怎么办
So, what're we gonna do?
我退出
I'll drop out.
但如果你赢了后不介意为我拯救
But if you don't mind saving the Spring Invention Convention
春季发明会的话那就好了
for me when you win, that'd be awesome.
其实我在想我们可以用那笔钱
I was actually thinking we could use that money
举办一场冬季舞会
for a winter formal instead.
我们可以请一个DJ 雇一辆墨西哥卷饼车
We could have a DJ, a taco truck,
甚至可以举♥行♥一场舞蹈比赛
and maybe even a dance contest.
这些东西春季发明会上
You know, we could have all those things
也都可以有另外还有各种发明
at the Invention Convention, plus inventions.
这不合适吧
Yeah, I'm not sure that sounds better.
那我可能就不会退出了
Well, then, I'm not sure I'm gonna drop out.
好吧但你要答应我不管结果如何
Okay, but promise me no matter what happens,
我们都还是朋友
we'll still be friends.