在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E09

Part 1 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

感恩节的最妙之处在于
The best thing about Thanksgiving is
怎么庆祝都不为过
there is no wrong way to celebrate it.
无论是遵循老传统
Whether you're following old traditions...
好的艾比和你妈玩得开心
All right, Abby. Have fun with your mom.
不要不用让你海伦外婆接电♥话♥
No--no, I don't want you to put Grandma Helen on.
不用这就是离婚的一点好处
No, that's the one silver lining of divorce.
没什么宝贝
Nothing, sweetheart.
多吃点馅饼我们周日见
Just eat a lot of pie, and I'll see you on Sunday.
感恩节快乐
或者开辟新传统
Or starting new traditions...
话说明天就是感恩节了
So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
你想怎么过
What do you want to do?
其实我有个临时会议要参加在温哥华
Actually, I have a last-minute meeting in Vancouver.
谁还在感恩节工作啊
Who works on Thanksgiving?
除了咱们国家以外的人都工作
Every other country besides ours.
如果你不是像懦夫一样因为一点健康小问题
You would know this if you didn't quit like a wimp
而辞职就会知道
after some minor health scare.
那可是心脏病
It was a massive heart attack,
而且我没辞职
and I didn't quit.
我退休了
I retired.
有什么区别
What's the difference?
如果是退休就能有块表
When you retire, you get a watch.
公♥司♥是你的
It was your company.
我给自己买♥♥了块表
I bought myself a watch.
就算生活中一切都面目全非
Even if everything else in your life changes,
总有一个传统能让感恩节完美
there's always one tradition that makes Thanksgiving perfect.
你们好
Hey, guys.
好吧那周末愉快
Okay, well, have a good weekend.
你记得我说咱俩都喜欢诺丽
So you know how I said both of us liking Nori
不会有问题吗
wouldn't be a problem?
-可能会有问题 -问题大了去了
- It might be a problem. - Huge problem.
而且我踮着脚尖站得
Plus, my calves are super exhausted
小腿都没力气了
from standing ever-so-slightly on my toes.
要我说
You know what?
有四天时间摆脱这一切挺好的
It's gonna be good to take a break from all this for four days.
嗯
Yeah.
猜猜谁来咱家过感恩节
Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving.
诺丽·斯特林
Nori Sterling!
三代同堂
第二季第九集
感恩节诺丽·斯特林要来
Nori's coming to Thanksgiving?
我的诺丽
My Nori?
我们的诺丽
I m--our Nori?
不是我们的不过
I mean, not ours, but...
-诺丽·斯特林 -对
- Nori Sterling? - Yes.
我在杂货店碰到她妈妈
I ran into her mother at the grocery store.
她和诺丽的爸爸得赶紧去城里一趟
She and Nori's dad have to go to town last-minute
有位姑母病了
because of a sick aunt.
酒精中毒
Alcoholism.
总之他们把诺丽和她哥哥留在家
Anyway, they're leaving Nori home with her older brother,
所以我就说请孩子们过来一起感恩节晚餐
so I said we'd have the kids over for Thanksgiving dinner.
妈我觉得这样不大好
Mom, I'm not sure that's a great idea.
我知道你担心我本来压力就很大了
I know. You're worried it's already a lot of pressure on me,
要为新家庭奉上我人生第一次感恩节大餐
cooking my first Thanksgiving for our new family.
嗯我们担心的就是这个
Yes, that was exactly our concern.
别担心
Well, don't worry!
我知道自己不是好大厨
I know I'm not the greatest cook,
但这本新杂♥志♥
but I found some amazing insider tips
《玛莎·斯图尔特生活》里有很多超赞的提示
in this new magazine called "Martha Stewart Living."
不过感恩节不是应该家人一起过
But isn't Thanksgiving supposed to be about family,
外人不能搀和吗
to the exclusion of all others?
不过邀请无处可去的人一起过
Well, what could be more in the spirit of the holiday
可能更体现这个节日的精神
than inviting people who have nowhere else to go?
感觉就像他们是流浪者
It'll be like they're the Pilgrims
而我们是热情的本地人
and we're the welcoming natives.
我估计她不记得这个故事的结局
I don't think she remembers how that story ends.
一人独过感恩节
这是什么
What is that?
离婚者的感恩节
Divorce Thanksgiving.
想从迪士尼乐园买♥♥个大火鸡腿
Looked into Postmating a giant turkey leg from Disneyland,
不过显然司机得买♥♥张全通票
but apparently the driver would have to buy an all-day pass.
就搞得太复杂了
Getting too complicated.
你说什么啊
What are you talking about?
你当然是留下和我们一起过节
You're obviously celebrating here with us.
艾比在她妈那你♥爸♥妈外出
I mean, with Abby at her mom's and your parents away
开启他们的年度"让玛姬远离厨房♥"之航行
on their annual "keep Maggie out of the kitchen" cruise...
嗯每年如此罗恩晕船挺严重的
Yeah, every year, Ron gets horribly seasick,
不过他说那也总比吃她的蔓越莓酱强
but he says it beats her cranberry sauce.
那说定了我们一起
So it's settled. You're in.
你确定吗我不想成为累赘
Are you sure about this? I don't want to be a burden.
你都住我车♥库♥里了
You live in my garage.
你多蹭顿饭不会成为累赘的
Having you over for one meal is not what makes you a burden.
你都开始怼我了
Ooh, you took a shot at me.
感觉感恩节已经开始了
Feels like Thanksgiving already.
感恩节快乐
Happy Thanksgiving.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我以为你和女朋友有约
I thought you had plans with your girlfriend.
女朋友不我还不能称她为...
Girlfriend? Oh, no, I wouldn't call her my--
如何命名此刻还有点不能确定
well, the nomenclature is somewhat undecided at the moment.
反正她外出忙公事了
Anyway, she's out of town on business.
那挺可惜的
That's too bad.
所以我就想艾比去波士顿的公牛队比赛了
So I was thinking, Abby has a Bulls game in Boston,
理查德也不在那我们可以...
Richard's out of town, so you and I could do a...
怎么说过一个选日不如撞日的
I don't know, let's call it "completely casual
纯友情感恩节
platonic Friendsgiving"?
有意思
Catchy.
不过不行我一天都有工作
But I can't. I've got to work all day.
什么怪胎感恩节会来这过啊
What kind of weirdo comes here for Thanksgiving?
我来这过感恩节
Hey, I'm here for Thanksgiving.
嗯你就是怪胎汤姆
Yeah, and you're a weirdo, Tom.
收到
Copy that.
怎么样快决定
So what? Come on.
我们就不能偷得浮生半日闲吗
Can't take a break for just a little bit?
抱歉我也想
I'm sorry. I wish I could.
好吧
Okay.
那今天我想
So today, I guess, um...
我也当个怪胎吧
I'm one of those weirdos.
就今天吗 50年专业单相思先生
Just today, Mr. 50-year-unrequited-love?
闭嘴汤姆
Shut up, Tom.
收到
Copy that.
玛莎说要有两三种手工方案
Martha says to have two or three craft options,
以防万一我准备了九种
so to be safe, I went with nine.
我最拿手的土豆泥做好了
My famous mashed potatoes are done.
天呐玛姬你把世界上
Good Lord, Maggie, leave some glue sticks
所有固体胶都买♥♥回来了吗
for the rest of the world.
我只想让我们全家的第一次感恩节
I just want our first Thanksgiving as a family
不留遗憾
to be perfect, okay?
会很完美的亲爱的
It will be, sweetheart.
火鸡烤得怎么样了
How's the turkey coming along?
完蛋了
Ah, crap.
留下美好的回忆
Making memories, boys.
诺丽随时都会到
Nori's going to be here any minute.
我们一整天都会和她待在一起
We're gonna have to spend the whole day with her.
我们要想点对策
We need to figure something out.
-什么对策 -树立基本原则
- Like what? - Some ground rules
确保公平
to make sure everything stays fair
防止我们在她面前争得死去活来
and we don't kill each other when she's here.
明智
Smart.
这样怎么样
Okay, uh, how about this?
第一条规则
Rule number one,
谁都不能和诺丽单独相处
neither of us is allowed to be alone with Nori.
好但是如果我们有人要去厕所呢
Okay, but what if one of us has to go to the bathroom?