在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E09

Part 4 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

你答应我不会说出去的
You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that!
丘巴卡不是伊渥克是伍基
And Chewie's not an Ewok. He's a Wookiee.
火鸡
The turkey!
明年我们出海旅行吧
Next year, we're taking a cruise.
我知道亚历克斯在这过感恩节时候
You know, when I found out Alex was having Thanksgiving here,
觉得他也太奇葩了
I thought, "What a weirdo,"
但真的很好吃
but the food is fantastic.
嘴真甜
Oh, you're sweet.
你俩很聊得来啊
You two are really hitting it off, aren't you?
你原本不这么觉得吗
Did you think that we would not?
不我很高兴
No, I-I--obviously, I'm very happy
你俩互相喜欢我就是觉得
that you like each other. I guess I just thought that
我女朋友和女性朋友吃饭
a meal between my girlfriend and my girl...friend--
可能会吃醋
there might just be the tiniest morsel of jealousy.
谁吃醋
And who would be jealous?
不知道你吧
I don't know. You.
或者你都不吃都吃
Or you. Or either, or both.
我明白了你想让我俩
Oh, I see, you wanted us to have
-为了你来场枕头大战 -不不
- a pillow fight over you or something? - No, no--
如果可以
Well, if that's on the table...
有什么好吃醋的
What is there to be jealous about?
我和理查德在一起你和凯莉
I'm with Richard, you're with Kelly,
对了她超棒的
who is amazing, by the way.
你也是啊女朋友
Oh, right back at you, girlfriend.
我们都很开心
We're all happy.
嗯
Yeah.
我们都很开心
We're all happy.
我航♥班♥好像恢复了
Oh, looks like my flight's back on.
我得走了
I gotta run.
到了就告诉你
I will let you know as soon as I land.
你拿点馅饼带着吃吧
I'll get you some pie to go.
不用了
Oh, no, that's okay,
不过我会找你要亚历克斯小时候
but I will be contacting you for those pictures of teenage Alex
非主流发型的照片
in his frosted-tips phase.
别等下次感恩节再聚啊
Let's not wait till next Thanksgiving to do this again.
还是别聚了
Let's never do this again.
再见
Good-bye.
列表上2号♥在5号♥前面
Number two is before number five on the list.
但你
But you did the--
我知道你们想干吗
I know what you guys are doing.
你们真的认为这个蠢主意能奏效吗
Did you really think your stupid plan was going to work?
-诺丽我们可以解释 -我们可以解释
- Nori, listen, we can explain. - We can explain.
解释什么你们很显然
Explain what? You're obviously
是想要斯科特多出来的那张
just trying to get Scott to give you his extra ticket
红辣椒乐队演唱会的票
to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert.
-多出来的票 -没错就是这样
- Extra ticket? - Yeah, that's exactly what we were doing.
就这个蠢事
Definitely nothing stupider.
你们最好闪远点
Well, you better back off.
我为了这张票
I've been sucking up to Scott
无脑附和他好几周了
and agreeing to his dumb opinions for weeks.
这张票是我的
That ticket is mine,
你们想抢
and if you try to fight me for it,
没门
you will lose.
我以为这是常识呢
I thought this would go without saying,
追女人的时候
but when wooing a woman,
别讨好她兄弟
don't woo the brother.
讨好她就行了
The woman's the one you want to woo.
新传统出去吃
New tradition. We're going out.
-喜欢吗 -喜欢啊
- You like it? - I do. I love it.
他们真的很喜欢彼此呢
I think they really like each other.
我想吐
I think I want to be sick.
他们应该信了
I think they're buying it.
肯定的
Totally.
他们要回来了
Look, they're about to come back.
-你相信我吗 -信啊
- Do you trust me? - I think so.
-那就来吧 -好
- Just go with this. - Okay.
西葫芦蛋糕来了天啊
Okay, we've got zucchini torte--oh, my god!
-抱歉 -太尴尬了
- Oops, sorry. - This is so embarrassing.
天啊我们就跟小屁孩似的
Oh, God, we must look like a couple of teenagers.
可我就是特别喜欢这位美人
But I just can't get enough of this wonderful woman.
蹭鼻鼻蹭鼻鼻
Noses, noses, noses!
蹭鼻鼻蹭鼻鼻
Noses, noses, noses.
我怎么觉得这比亲嘴还恶心
Somehow that is grosser than actual kissing.
这正和我们意
Shh! We wanted this.
算是吧
Kind of.
我知道我们才认识
I know we have only but just met,
但真爱来了心里就知道
but when you know, you know.
你在说什么
What are you saying?
丽莎
Lisa,
虽然我不知道你姓什么
whatever your last name is,
我爱你
I love you.
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?
愿意非常愿意
Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!
-天啊 -愿意
- Oh, goodness! - Yes, yes!
行了行了我们懂了
All right, all right. We get it.
你们在耍我们
You guys are messing with us.
谢谢谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
谁让你们在感恩节给我们安排相亲的
Just a little payback for a blind setup on Thanksgiving.
要不是我庆幸这是假的
I would be pissed at you guys
我肯定会生气的
if I wasn't so thankful that was fake.
你们不是希望我们在一起么
I thought you wanted us to get together.
在你让他吃你下巴上的青豆时
Yeah, that went out the window
我们就不这么想了
when you let him eat a green bean off your chin.
干得漂亮
Well played, well played.
今晚太失败了
Well, tonight was a total bust.
就像第一次感恩节
Much like the first Thanksgiving,
咱俩第一次感恩节
our first Thanksgiving together was ruined
就被校花毁了
by the hottest girl in school.
贾斯汀
Okay, look, Justin.
不是诺丽毁了我们的感恩节
It wasn't Nori that ruined Thanksgiving.
是我们自己
It was us.
嗯你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
今晚我看到了自己不喜欢的一面
Tonight, I really saw a side of myself I didn't like.
嗯我也不喜欢你那一面
Yeah, and I really saw a side of you i didn't like, either.
但我好像也挺混的
But maybe, I was also kind of being a little bit of a jerk.
你说我喜欢诺丽没事
You said it was okay that I liked Nori,
但我不想和你抢
but I don't want that to mean we're competing against each other.
嗯诺丽很好但
Yeah. I mean, Nori's great, but...
你是我兄弟我很感恩
you're my brother, and I'm thankful you are.
不管发生什么
Let's agree that whatever happens,
我们不能因为女生反♥目♥
we won't let girls come between us.
好的
Deal.
兄弟比女生重要
Bros before girls.
要是押韵就好了
Man, if that rhymed, it would be perfect.
再见啦谢谢你们
Bye, guys. Thank you.
我送她
Just gonna walk her out.
你也同意低碳水的感恩节
Okay, so we both agree that a low-carb Thanksgiving
很不美式吧
is fundamentally un-American, right?
嗯感觉得上报国安局
Yeah, I feel like we have to report them to Homeland Security.
-我能坦白件事吗 -能啊都假装订婚了
- Can I admit something? - Yeah. We're fake engaged.
秘密还保守不了么
We can't keep secrets.
其实
The thing is, uh...
这是我离婚后的初吻
That was my first kiss since the divorce.
天啊对不起占你便宜了
Oh, my God, I'm sorry I attacked you like that.
不不初吻是假的
No, no, having my first kiss
让我释然了很多
be a joke kiss actually took the pressure off.
今晚和你聊得很开心
I had a lot of fun hanging out with you tonight.
嗯
Yeah.
差点弥补温蒂的西葫芦素蛋糕了
You almost made up for Wendy's vegan zucchini torte.
任何东西都弥补不了
Nothing can make up for that torte.