在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E08

Part 1 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

我住过很多地方
I've lived in a lot of places,
但有一栋房♥子对我而言
but there's one house that, to me,
永远都有家的感觉
will always feel like home.
房♥子很特别
A house is something special.
它是家庭成员要被待之以
It's a member of the family that needs to be treated with
爱和尊重
love and respect.
如果你们让我俩单独留下过夜
And if you let us stay here alone overnight,
我们就打算这样做
that's exactly what we intend on doing.
所以在你们第一次相遇的周年纪念日
So on this, the anniversary of the day you met,
让我们奉上一份大礼
let us give you the greatest gift of all:
不用花钱请保姆了
Not spending money on a babysitter.
你怎么想
So what do you think?
迪伊阿姨不来了
Well, Aunt Dee cancelled.
要么他们自己待着
So they either stay by themselves,
要么我们就不去拉古纳了
or we don't go to Laguna.
我们要去拉古纳
Oh, we're going to Laguna.
我们得去拉古纳
We need to go to Laguna.
-好吧你们独自留下 -棒
- All right, you can stay. - Yes!
要知道如果你们惹什么麻烦
Just know that if you get into any trouble,
我们就不回来了
we're not coming back.
-我们会回来的 -好吧
- Yes, we will. - Fine.
但你们就等着挨揍吧
But there better be blood.
如果你俩独自留下
If you two are staying here alone,
要遵守规矩
there are some rules:
晚餐不许吃垃圾食品
No junk food for dinner,
不许看限制级电影不许在卧室吃糖
no rated-R movies, and no eating candy in the bedroom.
别担心妈这些规矩我们都遵守
Don't worry, Mom. We'll follow all the rules.
这些规矩我们一条都不遵守
We're breaking every single one of those rules.
那可不
Oh, yeah.
-现在和一会儿吃的 -是的是的
- Now and Later? - Yes and yes.
无论发生什么
No matter what happens,
当我有需要的时候家永远是我依靠
home has always been there for me when I need it.
感谢能让我住下
Thanks for letting me stay here
达瑞尔的地方在烟熏消毒
while Darryl's place gets fumigated.
艾比跟莎拉走了所以就我自己
Abby's with Sarah, so it'll just be me.
希望没打扰你们
I hope I'm not imposing.
别傻了
Don't be ridiculous.
说实话我也想找人陪呢
Frankly, I could use the company.
杂种
Son of a bitch.
你真该看看最后这个
You should've seen this last one.
-怎么回事 -数据收集
- What's happening? - Data gathering!
明天我就去市议会门口
Tomorrow I go in front of the city council
给咱们这个拐角申请个停车标识
to request a stop sign for our corner.
你♥爸♥偏执于
Your father has become obsessed
街区车速太快的问题
with cars going too fast for the neighborhood.
我以为他在偏执于
I thought he was obsessed
找到完美的工装裤
with finding the perfect pair of cargo shorts.
退休后的每周都是全新的有趣的冒险之旅
Every week of retirement is a new, fun adventure.
我逮到你了森特拉
Oh, I see you, Sentra.
无论时间过去多久
And no matter how many days have passed,
那栋房♥子对我而言都有特殊象征
that house represents something special to me...
这可能也是我为什么很难说再见的原因
Which is probably why I'm having a hard time saying good-bye.
待售
三代同堂
第一季第八集
贾斯汀
Justin?
小弟
Little bro!
比我大不了几天的老哥
Bro who's barely older than me.
你好啊
Hey, man.
你怎么来了
What are you doing here?
我以为你在新加坡
I thought you were in Singapore.
嗯我在洛杉矶中途停留36小时
Yeah, well, I have a layover in LA for 36 hours,
然后我公♥司♥送我回伦敦
then my company's sending me to London.
这地方真是毫无变化
Man, this place never changes.
你知道咱们的秘密糖果还在壁橱里吗
You know our secret candy stash is still in that closet?
嗯我可不吃
Yeah, I wouldn't eat that.
-相当过期了 -可不
- Oh, that is very stale. - Yeah.
然后在我策划了那场活动之后
And then, after I designed the campaign that basically
身体喷雾在北♥京♥风靡一时
launched the body spray craze in Beijing,
公♥司♥让我去越南做同样的事
the company asked me to go to Vietnam to do the same thing.
真是相当忙的一年
Yeah, it's been a busy year.
但不幸的是让我蹿升到
But unfortunately, it has bumped me up
最高缴税群体
into the top tax bracket.
老兄我能理解
Yeah, man. I can relate to that
因为我也还在缴税
because I am also in a tax bracket.
风水轮流转的冠军
Things will turn around for you, champ.
很快你就能搬出那个车♥库♥
You'll be out of that garage soon enough.
让我给你讲个故事关于一个男人
Let me tell you a story about a man
他曾同样面临巨大挑战他曾...
who also faced some big challenges. He was--
亲爱的拜托不要再提萨利了
Sweetie, please don't bring up Sully again.
我是飞行员而他是我们业内之星
I'm a pilot, and he's our brightest star.
我可能有个有意思的商业机会给你
You know, I may have an interesting business opportunity for you,
有空聊聊
if you have time.
罗恩确实安排我盯着雷达枪测速
Well, Ron did put me on a shift on the radar gun,
所以有空请讲
so yes, please!
我们公♥司♥做很多剧场活动
Our company does a lot of arena events,
我们在寻找一个人
and we're looking for someone
建一个好点的T恤炮
to build a better t-shirt cannon.
就是射程两倍远不能
You know, one that fires twice as far without,
这是关键
and this is key,
不能伤到周围的人
horribly injuring anyone at close range.
我喜欢大炮也喜欢T恤
Well, I do love cannons, and t-shirts,
而且不喜欢伤到人
and not horribly injuring people,
所以我加入
so, yeah, I'm in.
玛姬看来你得从中午到五点
Well, Maggie, it looks like you got the noon to 5:00 shift
盯着雷达枪测速了
on the radar gun.
如果他们超过30
Now if they go over 30,
你就用这个喇叭警告他们
I want you to hit them with this air horn.
爸
Dad.
嗯应该没问题
Yeah, that ought to do it.
太棒了我们终于自己在家了
This is awesome! We're finally home alone!
我们将拥有一场最盛大的派对
We are going to have the biggest party ever.
开玩笑呢他们会杀了我们
Are you kidding? They'll kill us.
亚历克斯不是今晚
Oh, Alex. Not tonight!
我说的是总统节的周末高三
I'm talking about President's Day weekend, junior year.
你是说三年后吗
So three years from now?
没错
Exactly.
我们要逐渐取得他们的信任
We're just building up their trust.
在这里过一夜那里住一个周末
An overnight here, a weekend there,
然后突然
and then, bang!
狂欢一夜打他们个措手不及
We hit them with a rager.
如果我们不办派对
I mean, hey, if we're not throwing a party,
我想邀请诺丽过来
maybe I can invite Nori over.
-没有父母没有菲尔·历科兹 -不
- No parents, no Phil Ricozzi-- - No!
我是想用正常音量说"不"
I mean, "No" in a normal voice.
我只是觉得让她
I just think having her here
单独来和我们玩会有点尴尬
alone with us would be uncomfortable.
为什么
Why?
糟了
Oh, crap.
因为我们要看限制级电影
Because we're gonna watch an R-rated movie!
可能会露胸我们不能和女生一起看胸
There might be boobs, and we can't see boobs with a girl.
无法反驳
Can't argue with that logic.
再说了今晚不只是
Besides, tonight is more than
我爸和你♥妈♥的♥初遇周年纪念日
the anniversary of the night my dad met your mom,
也是让我们最终成为兄弟的纪念日
it's the anniversary of the day that led us to becoming bros.
我们应该共同度过
We should spend it together.
只有你和我
Just the two of us!
-这真的太... -贴心吗
- That's really-- - Sweet?
我知道我是贴心小棉袄
I know, I'm a sweetheart.
莱利先生
Mr. Riley!
你不需要来参加开放参观日的
You didn't have to come to the open house!
我只是顺便过来