在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E09

Part 3 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

盖世威的我没说错吧
K-Swiss, if I'm not mistaken?
好眼力小兄弟
Hey, good eye, little dude.
谁想吃奶酪和饼干
Who wants some cheese and crackers?
吃点吧
I'd load up.
目前可能只有这个能填肚子了
Might be the only food you're getting for a while.
我知道你想干什么
I know what you're doing.
斯科特喜欢的诺丽都喜欢
Nori likes everything that Scott likes,
所以你想让斯科特喜欢你
so you're trying to get Scott to like you
好让诺丽也喜欢你
so that Nori will like you.
那又怎么样这并不犯规
So? That's not against the rules.
行你发了一个漏洞
Fine, you found a loophole,
但这意味着我也可以去讨好斯科特了
but that means I'm allowed to try and win Scott's heart, too.
为了赢得他妹妹的芳心
You know, for the purpose of trying to win his sister's heart.
斯科特
Hey, Scott,
需要我帮你在饼干上涂奶酪吗
can I spread the cheese on your cracker for you?
我来吧斯科特
Let me do it, Scott.
我来帮你涂奶酪
Let me spread your cheese.
谢谢你温蒂
Thank you, Wendy.
谢谢我已经喝了酒了但是...
Thank you. I already have wine, but--
还是再来一点吧
No, I'll take a little more.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thanks.
挺好喝的
It's good.
温蒂我可以去拿点奶酪来
Hey, Wendy, I could go for some cheese.
好我也想吃点奶酪
Yeah, I'd--I'd love some cheese.
走雅思曼我们去拿点奶酪
Come on, Jasmine, let's go get some cheese.
我不想吃奶酪
I don't want cheese.
拿奶酪需要三个人
Getting cheese is a three-person job.
走吧
Let's go.
跟你说一下这么幼稚的撮合
Hey, just so you know, I had nothing to do with
不是我安排的
this cartoonishly obvious setup.
如果是我我就会穿
If I had, I would've worn my turkey pants,
和我毛衣一套的火鸡裤了
to match my sweater.
你不是真的有火鸡裤吧
You don't really have turkey pants, do you?
你有火鸡裤吗
You have turkey pants?
有我有火鸡裤
I do. I have turkey pants,
对和毛衣一套的
yes, to go with the sweater.
为什么已婚人士
What is it about married people
都很热衷于撮合自己的单身朋友呢
that makes them so obsessed with setting up their single friends?
不知道
I don't know.
就好像《权力的游戏》第二季季终后
It's like they're starved for entertainment
他们很想找点别的乐子
the second "Game of Thrones" ends.
要不这样我建议...
You know what? I say...
如果他们想找乐子我们就好好给他们演一出戏
if they want entertainment, let's give them a real show.
需要我...
Should I...
不你不用换上你的火鸡裤
No, you don't need your turkey pants.
好好谢谢
Cool, cool, thank you.
你从没告诉过我你是
You never told me you were the president
初中发明家俱乐部的主席
of the middle school inventors' club.
副♥主♥席♥也是我
I was also the vice president,
秘书财务
secretary, treasurer...
整个俱乐部就你一个人
And the entire membership.
才不是呢
That's not true.
达瑞尔来参加过几次会议
Darryl came to a couple meetings.
因为你告诉他有披萨吃
Because you told him pizza would be served.
我不喜欢这样
I'm not enjoying this.
我还是不明白
I still don't understand
你们俩初中为什么没有在一起
why you two never got together in junior high.
还是那个老故事呗
Well, you know, same old story.
男孩遇见了女孩
Boy meets girl,
男孩当着整个学校的人的面
boy spits mint into girl's mouth
把薄荷糖吐进了女孩的嘴里
in front of the entire school,
女孩对男孩没兴趣了
girl loses interest in boy,
男孩对薄荷糖没兴趣了
boy loses interest in mints.
我对你有兴趣啊
I didn't lose interest in you.
他都把薄荷糖吐你嘴里了
After he spit a mint in your mouth?
有天他想喝我一口苏打水
The other day, he tried to take a sip of my soda.
我差点和他分手了
I almost broke up with him.
你有兴趣为什么不和我出去
If you didn't lose interest, why didn't we go out?
你没约过我啊
Because you never asked.
不知道她在说什么因为
I don't know what she's talking about, because...
我没约过
I never asked.
小男生真是太可悲了
Teenage boys are so pathetic.
年纪大点的也没好到哪去
I haven't found older men to be much of an improvement.
那年龄大点的女人
Well, I'm finding older women to be--
是本国最好的资源
To be the greatest resource this country has.
这一切太棒了温蒂
Ah, everything is fantastic, Wendy.
尤其是这位小伙伴
Especially the company.
你怎么没女朋友呢
How is it that you don't have a girlfriend?
可能我之前感恩节没去对地方
I guess I never went to the right Thanksgiving.
我能看《海洋奇缘》吗
Can I watch "Moana"?
但我们还没说感恩致辞呢
Oh, but we haven't said what we're thankful for.
我很感恩《海洋奇缘》
I'm thankful for "Moana."
我想致个辞
I'd like to make a toast.
首先我很感恩老朋友
First, I'd like to say that I'm thankful for old friends,
还有新朋友
and new friends,
说不定还能继续发展
who have the potential to be so much more.
说了能行吧
Told you this would work.
过去八个月我一直在游荡漂泊
For the past eight months, I have been wandering, adrift,
独自漂浮着
floating through life, alone,
但今晚
but tonight,
我看到大♥陆♥了
I see land.
这是《海洋奇缘》的台词吗
Is that from "Moana?
我很感恩像温蒂和达瑞尔这样的朋友
I'm thankful for friends like Wendy and Darryl,
帮我上了这位美丽女士的岸
the compass which guided me to this gorgeous woman's shores.
抛锚吧
Well, drop anchor,
但要小心激流
but watch out for the riptide.
浪很大啊
So the waves are rough, huh?
是呀
Uh, they can be if they...
有需就有浪
If they need to be.
棒棒哒
Oh, yeah.
-妈妈 -回房♥
- Mommy, the D-- - Go back to your room!
-这位朋友是谁 -肯尼
- Who's your friend? - That's Kenny.
肯尼你还是闭上眼睛吧
Hey, Kenny, you might want to shut your eyes.
火鸡还有多久好
How long until the turkey's ready?
如果我八小时前放进去就还有一小时
An hour, if I put it in eight hours ago.
这可不妙
Well, that's not ideal,
这些孩子饿懵了
because the hunger is clearly making the kids delusional.
钱包链挺帅啊
Sweet wallet chain.
你发型太酷了
You've got amazing hair.
我还是快点吧
I better speed things up.
有什么可以吃的吗
Is there anything ready?
咱们计划没赶上变化
We may have gotten a bit off-schedule,
但试试最后一个潜在传统吧
but I have one last potential tradition to test out.
我们都来说说要感恩的事
Let's all go around and say what we're thankful for.
我先说
I'll go first.
我很感恩我爸玛姬
I'm thankful my dad, Maggie,
还有可爱的小♥弟♥弟♥
and adorable little bro here
可以款待诺丽这样的贵宾
could host such esteemed guests as Nori,
尤其是斯科特
and especially Scott,
我就没有这样酷炫的哥哥干杯
who's like the rad older brother I never had. Cheers.
我也很感恩斯科特能来
You know, I am also thankful that Scott is here,
我也没有哥哥
and I also think that he is like the older brother
他就像我哥一样
that I also don't have.
我很感恩
Well, I'm thankful
我不用在打雷的时候
I don't have to cuddle with my Ewok doll
抱着伊渥克玩偶
when there's thunder outside.
我很感恩不用在看《美国鼠谭》的时候
Well, I'm thankful I didn't start crying so hard
大哭特哭
during "Fievel Goes West"
让我妈提前带我回家
that my mom had to take us home early!