在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E10

Part 2 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

Maybe it's time to turn off...
查理·罗斯
Charlie Rose?
是啊
Oh, yeah, you know,
我很想看他采访...
I--I really wanted to see his interview with, uh...
"前以色列副总理阿巴·埃班"
"former Israeli Deputy Prime Minister Abba Eban."
好吧明天早上见
Okay. We'll see you in the morning.
好险
That was too close.
我们要把它收起来圣诞节再打开
We need to put this thing back until Christmas.
好吧我会装回去的
Fine. I'll box it up.
让我再玩一局
Just let me play one more game.
小♥弟♥弟♥
Little bro?
再给我五分钟
Just five more minutes.
等等...
Hold on...
丽莎住豪♥宅♥吗
Lisa lives in a mansion?
她感恩节的时候带了一瓶九块钱的酒
That woman brought a $9 bottle of wine to Thanksgiving.
等等温蒂没说过丽莎家很有钱吗
Wait, Wendy really never told you that Lisa was loaded?
可能她担心
You know, she was probably worried
我有什么不当的举动吧
I'd do something inappropriate,
比如请丽莎资助我们的项目
like ask Lisa to finance one of our projects.
我们应该请丽莎资助我们的项目
You know, we should ask Lisa to finance one of our projects.
我们不能跟我女朋友要钱
We are not hitting my girlfriend up for money.
亚历克斯...
Alex...
你两个月前带着一个绝妙的想法来找我
You came to me two months ago with a game-changer.
你搞清楚了
You had figured out the missing element
应该怎么让家庭污水回收
to making home-based water reclamation
具有经济可行性
economically feasible.
你记得自己怎么说的吗
Do you remember what you said?
记得啊
I mean, yeah.
我上厕所的时候
I was watching "Back to the Future" on my phone
用手♥机♥看《回到未来》
while I was going to the bathroom,
站起来以后头撞到了柜子上
and I stood up and hit my head on the stupid cabinet.
没错你清醒过来以后
That's right, and when you came to,
就想到了怎么实现这个项目
you had a vision for how to make it all work.
-冲水电容器 -太妙了
- The Flush Capacitor. - It's genius.
现在我们面前唯一的阻碍就是资金
The only thing standing in our way is financing.
投资人不相信有人会喝
Investors just don't think people will drink
回收的厕所用水
recycled toilet water.
水经过处理后完全清洁
After the process, it's totally clean.
我们的水中粪便含量和其他的水
Our water would have the same amount of poop
完全一样为零
as any other water, which is zero,
我应该先说含量为零的
which is probably how I should've started that sentence.
这个项目有可能大获成功
This thing could be huge, man.
只需要找到相信我们的投资人
We just need an investor who believes in us.
好吧我去和丽莎谈谈但我不会强求
Fine. Um, I'll talk to Lisa, but I'm not gonna push it.
我只是想说我们知道她有足够的钱
Hey, look, all's I'm saying is we know she's got the money,
因为她肯定没有用来买♥♥酒
'cause she sure ain't spending it on wine.
艾比来电
Incoming call from Abby.
宝贝
Hi, sweetie.
爸你不会相信发生了什么
Hey, Dad. You'll never guess what happened.
我刚刚和老板开完会
I just got out of a meeting with my owner,
他独♥立♥买♥♥断了泽维尔·穆雷的交易
who independently brought up trading for Xavier Murray.
太巧了吧
What a crazy coincidence!
我知道你给约瑟夫先生打电♥话♥了爸
I know you called Mr. Joseph, Dad.
你们亿万富翁都是朋友
All you billionaires are friends.
不不
Oh, no--no.
我们不是朋友
He's not my friend.
只是偶尔一起打高尔夫
I mean, uh, occasional golf buddy,
我不小心坐到手♥机♥上打给他了
who I accidentally butt-dialed--
不知道现在还有这种事...
don't know how that's still a thing--
电♥话♥接通以后
and when I had him on the phone,
就自然而然地谈到了泽维尔·穆雷
the subject of Xavier Murray naturally came up.
你竟然背着我这么做
I can't believe you'd go behind my back like this.
我现在正要去迈阿密
And now, I'm on my way to stupid Miami,
因为约瑟夫先生对这个想法很感兴趣
because Mr. Joseph is intrigued by the idea.
真的吗
Really?
那个矮子可能会到我的队里
Yeah. This scrub could end up on my team,
全都是因为你的蠢游戏
all because of your dumb video game.
宝贝要恨就恨玩家而不是游戏
Sweetheart, hate the player, not the game.
我对玩家也有意见
I have some thoughts on the player as well.
艾比对不起我没有害你的意思
Abby, I'm sorry. I did not mean to undermine you.
但如果你们赢了
But if you win a championship,
我会有冠军戒指吗
will I get a ring?
肯定有的
I'm sure I'll get a ring.
晚餐做好了
Dinner is served.
我叫它"我从泰国餐厅叫外卖♥♥
I call this "stuff I got from the Thai place that delivers
然后放到盘子里的菜"
that I put on a plate".
你对我太好了
You are too good to me.
你今天怎么样你和达瑞尔在研究什么
So, how was your day? What are you and Darryl working on?
没什么特别有意思的
Nothing too exciting.
其实非常有意思
It's actually very exciting!
抱歉
Sorry.
等下我为什么要道歉这是我家
Wait, why am I apologizing? This is my house.
到底是什么
So, what is it?
就是一个能把家庭废水
Uh, so it's basically this box that recycles
循环过滤成为饮用水的盒子
and cleans household waste water so you can drink it.
你是说冲大便的水吗
So you mean like poop water?
为什么所有人第一个想到的都是这个
Why does everyone go right to that?
亚历克斯这听起来很棒
Alex, that sounds awesome.
这里有吗能工作吗
Do you have it? Does it work?
我们还在初期阶段
I mean, we're still in the early stages, you know.
原型还没做出来
We still don't have a prototype,
但应该可以
but yeah, I think it'll work.
我们现在找不到投资人
We're just having trouble finding investors.
-我投资 -什么
- I'm in. - What?
-我投资 -你投资
- I'm in. - You are?
-她投资 -达瑞尔
- She is? - Darryl...
这是我家
My house.
你确定吗我不想你觉得奇怪
Are you sure about this? I don't want you to feel weird.
亚历克斯相信我我绝不会为了做好人
Alex, believe me, I would never invest in something
去投资我没那么好
just to be nice. I'm not that nice.
你不记得我把你的脊椎扯断
Don't you remember when I ripped your spine out
勒死你的时候了
and strangled you with it?
记得我不喜欢当时你眼中放出的光
Yeah, I did not like the gleam in your eye when you did that.
-所以你要投资吗 -我要投资
- So, you're in? - I'm in.
太谢谢了你不会后悔的
Thank you so much. You are not gonna regret this.
我觉得得敬个酒了
I guess this calls for a toast.
-要不把我带来的那瓶酒打开 -好的
- Oh, why don't we open the bottle of wine I brought? - Okay.
沃尔格林现在有店铺品牌了
Walgreens has a store brand now.
恭喜他们
Good for them.
贾斯汀我们有麻烦了
Justin, we have a problem.
任天堂不在圣诞壁橱里了
The Nintendo, not in the Christmas closet.
我藏起来了能等会再说吗
I hid it. Now, can we talk about this later?
查理·罗斯正在采访乔治·普林顿
Charlie Rose is interviewing George Plimpton.
-你藏起来了 -他正要
- You hid it? - Hey, he was just about
聊到《巴黎评论》的创刊初期
to talk about the early days of "The Paris Review""
你放哪去了为什么要这么对我
Where'd you put it? Why would you do this to me?
是为了你好小♥弟♥弟♥
It's for your own good, little bro.
-你上瘾了 -我才没有呢
- You have a problem. - I do not.
还记得上个月戴夫警官
Remember last month, when Officer Dave
在校会上说到上瘾吗
talked to the school assembly about addiction?
你表现出了所有典型特征
You show all the classic signs.
-你上瘾了 -我没有上瘾
- You're an addict. - I'm not an addict.
看第一条
Boom. No. 1 on the list.
"否认自己上瘾了"
"Denies they're an addict""
贾斯汀告诉我你把它藏哪了
Justin, just tell me where you hid it!
你看第二条
Oh, hello, No.2.
"暴躁易怒"
"Flashes of anger""
不不不别碰它
Oh, no, no, leave it alone!
别碰
Don't touch that!
给我给我
Give it! Give it!
我不能让你这么毁了自己