在下、鄙人和我（2017）

Me, Myself and I S01E11

Part 1 July 29, 2020, 12:03 p.m.

每个人在你的生活中都扮演着不同的角色
Everyone you know plays a different role in your life.
大多数会让你的生活更美好
Most of those people make your life better.
但剩下的绝对会让你的生活更糟
But others, they definitely make your life worse.
菲尔·历科兹
Phil Ricozzi.
怎么了莱利
What's the matter, Riley?
因为我和你的梦中情人约会而伤心吗
Upset that I'm going out with the girl of your dreams?
你是来这幸灾乐祸的吗
Did you just come here to gloat?
幸灾乐祸是什么意思
What does gloat mean?
就是戳我的痛处
It means to rub it in my face.
那没错我就是来幸灾乐祸的
Well then yes, I gloat at you.
天啊诺丽怎么会跟你这种货色约会
God, how could someone like Nori go out with something like you?
我不知道但她就是
I don't know, but she is.
这是证明二货
And here's your proof, sucka.
"菲尔和诺丽永远在一起"
"Phil and Nori forever".
她给你做的吗
She made you this?
你留着吧
You know what? Keep it.
它会不断提醒你
It'll be a constant reminder that you're
你只是她愚蠢的朋友
just her stupid friend,
我才是可以吻她漂亮脸蛋的人
and I'm someone she lets kiss her awesome face.
你只能希望最终
You just have to hope that eventually
可以摆脱这些人
you can put those people behind you,
然后继续自己的生活
and move on with your life.
你们好你们本来是与贝蒂有约
Hey, guys, I know you were supposed to meet with Betty today,
但是我们新副总听说你们要来
but our new VP heard you were coming in,
他坚持要听你们的提案
and insisted on hearing the pitch himself.
很显然你们和他交情很深
Apparently, you guys go way back.
你好呀莱利你的辣妈还好吗
What's up, Riley? How is your hot mom?
菲尔·历科兹
Phil Ricozzi?
但有时这些人会以出人意料的方式
But sometimes, those people come back into your life
回到你的生活中
in the most unexpected ways.
亚历克斯你还记得菲尔·历科兹吗
Alex, do you remember Phil Ricozzi?
我当然记得
Yes, of course I remember Phil Ricozzi.
那个自恋的混♥蛋♥折磨了我很多年
That narcissistic jerk tormented me for years.
今天我要一份丹佛煎蛋卷
I think today I will have a Denver omelet.
他去世了
He died.
愿这个自恋的混♥蛋♥能安息
Well, may the narcissistic jerk rest in peace.
加一个烤面包圈谢谢
And a toasted bagel, please.
三代同堂
第一季第十一集
亚历克斯·莱利 25年了
Alex Riley, it's been 25 years.
你是单蛋吗
Is that you, One Nut?
叫我达瑞尔吧
I prefer Darryl.
为什么那是你的真名吗
Why? Is that your real name?
我以为你的身体状况
I would've thought your medical condition
会阻碍你发育但是看看你现在
would've stunted your growth, but look at you!
你长得跟男人一样了
You're the size of a man!
-那你是 -那么菲尔
- And you're an a-- - So, Phil, uh...
你怎么来风投行业了
What are you doing in the VC business?
我以为你去演戏了
I thought you were into the whole acting thing.
没有我接了一些广♥告♥
Nah, I did a bunch of commercials.
我还在电视台与泰拉·瑞德搭戏
And I frenched Tara Reid in a Lifetime movie.
-抱歉 -但是后来我意识到
- Sorry. - But then I realized
风投才能赚大钱
the real money is in this VC world.
你们不会相信我现在多么有钱
You would never believe how rich I am.
怪不得都说人善被人欺
And they say nice guys finish last.
没错单蛋
True that, One Nut.
叫我达瑞尔
I prefer Darryl.
见到你们真的太好了
It's really good to see you guys.
真的吗我有一点疑惑
Really? 'Cause I'm a little thrown.
我感觉在中学的时候我们
I feel like in middle school, you and I were--
我们当时都是孩子嘛
Kids. That's all we were.
但是对我来说
But as far as this guy's concerned,
每个和我一起长大的人都是家人
everyone I grew up with, they're family.
橄榄园餐厅那种的
You know, in that Olive Garden type of way.
我不在那吃饭啊重申一下我超级成功
Not that I eat there. Again, super successful.
那我们还等什么呢
So what are we waiting for?
去听听这天才的想法吧
Let's go hear this genius idea!
我说不好哥们我感觉不妙
I don't know, man. I smell a rat.
怎么你觉得这家伙让我们来这
What? Do you think this guy brought us
只是为了当面嘲笑我们吗
all the way down here just to laugh in our faces?
没错我就是这么想的
Yeah, that's exactly what I think.
嗯我也是
Yeah, so do I.
人会是变的你看看你
Come on, people change, right? I mean, look at you!
我怎么了
What about me?
你长得跟男人一样了
Yeah, you grew up to be the size of a man!
你女性解剖学考得怎么样
Hey, how'd you do on that female anatomy test?
我好像拼错了"输卵管"
I think I spelled "fallopian" wrong,
但是我肯定拼对了"乳♥房♥♥"
but I definitely got "boobs" right.
是"胸部"
It's "breasts".
-我的天啊 -嗯
- Oh, boy. - Yeah.
-亚历克斯 -诺丽
- Hey, Alex. - Hey, Nori.
你躲着我是因为
Have you been avoiding me because I've been spending
我天天和菲尔·历科兹在一起吗
so much time with Phil Ricozzi?
我知道你觉得他有点混♥蛋♥
I know you think he's a little bit of a jerk.
不是的我是觉得他非常混♥蛋♥
That's not true. I think he's a lot of a jerk.
如果你给菲尔一个机会
I promise if you give Phil a chance,
就会发现他是一个非常好的人
you'd realize he's a really good guy.
你从哪儿弄来的这个
Where did you get this?
-菲尔给我的 -为什么
- Phil gave it to me. - Why?
来炫耀我是他的女朋友吗
To rub it in your face that I'm his girlfriend?
不是的
Nah.
菲尔这么好的人才不会这种事呢
A good guy like Phil would never do something like that.
总之再见啦
Anyway, see you.
我不喜欢这样
I don't like this.
我一点也不喜欢这样
I don't like this at all.
我们已经到了朋友
We're getting to that age where our friends
开始去世的年纪了
are starting to die off.
2042年了按理说现在
It's 2042, you'd think they'd have cured
应该已经不会死了
this whole death thing by now.
菲尔的追悼会在周四
So, Phil's memorial is planned for Thursday.
你不会真的
Oh, well you're not actually thinking about
要去参加吧
going to that thing, are you?
他对我做的事不可饶恕埃莉诺
The guy treated me unforgivably, Eleanor.
既然他不在了也许你该原谅他了
Well, now that he's gone, maybe it's time that you forgave him,
和我一起去...
so why don't you come with me--
不
No.
不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
我决不去参加菲尔·历科兹的追悼会
There's no way I'm going to Phil Ricozzi's memorial service.
那你就让我一个人去吗
You're gonna make me go all alone?
我问你
Let me ask you something.
你觉得我们死后
Do you think that after we die,
还能看到身边发生的事情吗
we can still see all the stuff that's going on around us?
我觉得能看到
You know something? I actually do.
那我就去
Fine. I'll go.
菲尔·历科兹看到
But just so that Phil Ricozzi is pissed off
我和你一起进去他会气死的
when he sees you and I walk in together.
这就是婴儿滑板车
And that is the Baby Glide.
婴儿车与滑板的结合体
A combination stroller and skateboard.
专为推着孩子的时候想狂野一把的
For the hipster that wants to get a little bit wild--
潮人设计
Pushing their child!
你觉得怎么样
So what do you think?
-讨厌 -讨厌
- I hate it. - Hate?
这个词太重了吧
That's a pretty strong word,
一般是用来形容贩卖♥♥人口和菜花的
usually reserved for things like human trafficking and cauliflower.
我讨厌的是我自己怎么没想到
I hate that I didn't think of this myself.
先生们成交
Gentlemen, you have a sale!
-真的吗 -真的
- Seriously? - Seriously!
这个创意太妙了
This idea's brilliant!
过来拥抱一下过来吧
Come here! I want to hug it out! Get over here, you!
还有你
You too!
瞧我我在拥抱菲尔·历科兹
Look at me, I'm hugging Phil Ricozzi.