石油天王（2024）

不是，是运沙车
No, the sand hauler.
我们到底提交过多少起 保险索赔啊，迈克？
How many damn claims have we submitted, Mike?
他根本不知道你在讲哪一桩事故
He don't even know which accident you're talking about.
叫他过来
Well, get him out here.
不对，就今天
No, today.
这件案子我们不是被告
We're not the defendant in this one.
如果你现在派人来拍证据
If you send somebody out here to photograph this evidence.
我们就会是原告
We're the plaintiff.
好吧
Uh...
华特，跟你说，如果想把事做好
Walt, if you want something done right,
就靠自己来做
you got to do it your fucking self.
我们有拍现场照片
We photographed the scene.
无意冒犯，华特
Well, no offense, Walt,
但跟政♥府♥机关要证据
but getting evidence from a government agency
速度跟去除刺青一样慢
is about as speedy a process as getting a tattoo removed.
所以，以后都打给你？
So call you from now on.
内特说打给律师
Nate said call the lawyer.
不对，就打给我，只能打给我
No, you call me and only me.
这还比较习惯
I prefer it.
那律师正经八百
That lawyer's wound pretty tight.
她如果吞下一颗煤炭 三天后会排出一颗钻石
If she swallowed a lump of coal, she'd make a diamond in three days.
嘿，汤米，有什么新消息？
Hey. What do you know, Tommy?
看来我什么都不知道，戴尔
Evidently, I don't know shit, Dale.
那次清理到底发生什么事？
What happened out at that cleanup?
我们走进一大团硫化氢
We walked into a cloud of H2S.
内特他妈的都没跟你说吗？
Nate didn't fucking tell you?
没人告诉我，兄弟
Nobody told me, bud.
该死，我很抱歉，汤米
Oh, shit. I'm sorry, Tommy.
是啊
Uh... Yeah.
这件事真的很不划算
Uh, it was a bad deal.
贾雷尔现在还在医院
Jerrell's still in the hospital.
那东西害死一堆猎人 满地都是尸体
It killed a bunch of hunters. There's fucking dead bodies everywhere.
满地尸体？
Dead bodies everywhere?
天啊，老天爷
Good God Almighty.
贾雷尔在哪？奥德萨还是米德兰？
Where's Jerrell? Odessa or Midland?
米德兰
Uh, Midland.
操♥他♥妈♥的！
Fucking bitch.
该死
Damn it.
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
祝亲爱的安琪拉生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday, dear Angela ♪
祝你生日快乐
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
谢谢
Thank you.
许个愿
Make a wish.
许个愿 许个愿吧，妈妈
Make a wish. Make a wish, Mama.
太感谢你们大家了
Thank you all so much.
这真的是最棒的生日了
I mean, this is the best birthday ever.
那你现在几岁了呢？
Well, how old are you now?
汉克，那永远都是秘密
Hank, that is forever a mystery.
如果你50岁 我也还是比你大40岁
If you was 50, I'd still have 40 years on you.
50岁？ 对啊
Fifty? Hank, did you develop cataracts over the weekend?
汉克，才一个周末你就白内障了？
Do I look 50?
我看起来有50吗？
No. You look like one of those
没有
No.
你看起来像二战时会被画在
pinup models from back in World War II,
飞机机身上的那种海报女郎
the kind that they painted on their airplanes.
我早该知道的
Realizing Hank's compliment
转得漂亮，汉克
Nice save, Hank.
好了，礼物时间
Okay, presents. Yes.
好耶，还真多 哪个先？
There's so many. Which one first?
先开我的！ 好啊
Oh! Open mine. Okay.
哪个是你准备的？
What one's yours?
那边那个，对 这个？
Uh, that one there. This is?
给你吧
Yep. Mm-hmm. There you go.
臀杀行动
你知道那是什么吗？
Know what that is?
我想我知道
I know what I think it is.
那是姿势矫正器啦
That's a posture fixer right there.
我倒要看看你敢不敢塞进去 还给我驼背
I dare you to stick that in and slouch.
妈，我可以看看吗？ 绝对不行
Ma, can I see that? Absolutely not.
谢谢你，贝芙丽
Thank you, Beverly.
如果我开始缩肩，我知道要怎么改了
If my shoulders start slumping, I know how to fix it.
而且很彻底明白
And how.
这是谁的？ 是我的
Whose is this? Oh, it's mine.
谢谢，玛贝尔
Thank you, Mabel.
天生就是你的，叮咚
我开始感觉到送礼风格了
I'm detecting a theme.
我是在坏坏购物台上买♥♥的 买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
I bought it off the Dirty Shopper. It was two for one.
你们到底订了什么电视方案？
What cable package do y'all have?
他们上周找到色情频道了
They found the naughty channels last week.
我们也很头痛
Uh-uh. It's been a problem.
没人跟我们说600台后面 还有东西
Nobody told us there were channels above 600.
现在他们都等不及午睡时间了
And now they can't wait for nap time.
我先暂停开礼物好了
I-I'm gonna take a little break on the presents here.
先来切蛋糕啦
Why don't you cut the cake?
谁要来杯生日玛格丽塔？
Who wants a birthday margarita?
两杯！ 我要！
Two of them.
好的 你觉得他们会做♥爱♥吗？
All right. Do you think they have sex?
我现在开始这么认为了
I-I'm thinking it now.
看来汉克很忙
Guessing Hank stays busy.
也许吧，但我押波比
Maybe so, but my money's on Bob.
他看起来很开心
He does look happy.
很放松
Relaxed.
宝贝，永远都是惦惦呷三碗公
It's always the quiet ones, baby.
好的
Okay.
来吧，全部喷我身上吧，宝贝
Come on, spray it all over me, baby.
嘿，你还好吗？
Hey. You all right?
你在干嘛？
What are you doing?
你真的想知道？
Do you really want to know?
有何不可 好吧
Sure. All right.
我刚从医院出来，一个28岁
Well, I just left the hospital and a 28-year-old father of two
有两个孩子的爸爸 可能这辈子要瞎了
who may or may not be blind the rest of his life
因为他走进一场硫化氢外泄
'cause he walked into an H2S leak.
现在，我要开车往东开三个小时 去跟一个
Now, I'm driving three hours east to have a two-minute conversation with a drug dealer
藉石油服务公♥司♥洗钱的毒贩讲两分钟
who launders his money through an oil services lender.
告诉他，他妈的省省他那四千万美金
Tell him to keep his $40 million fucking dollars.
我不稀罕
I don't need it.
然后我还要再开三小时回来 参与海盗主题的炸鱼派对
Then I'm driving three hours back to a pirate-themed fish fry
跟我前妻、我女儿
with my ex-wife, my daughter,
两个石油公♥司♥员工，还有你一起
two oil company employees and you.
在那之后
And after that,
我会走进车♥库♥，找块水泥最厚的地方
I'm gonna go out in the garage and find the thickest spot in the drywall
把我的头往那猛撞
and run my fucking head through it.
这就是一如往常的一天
So, just another day.
就是这么地一如往常，老爸
Just another fucking day, Pop.
找我什么事？
What do you need?
我不知道该怎么办 啧，就做你想做的事啊
I don't know what to do. Well, shit, do whatever you want to.
看书、看电视
Read a book, watch TV. I mean...
我是说… 看看那种日间谈话节目
Watch one of them daytime talk shows.
像《观点》之类的
You know, like The View or something.
什么是《观点》？
What's The View?
一群气急败坏的有钱人
Bunch of pissed off millionaires
在那边抱怨他们多讨厌有钱人
bitching about how much they hate millionaires
讨厌川普、讨厌男人 讨厌你、讨厌我
and Trump and men and you and me
讨厌所有让他们不爽的人
and everybody else they got a bee up their ass about.
其实满好笑的
It's pretty funny.
听起来一点都不好笑
Don't sound funny.
不是那种说笑话的好笑
Well, it ain't joke funny,
是那种在教堂放屁的好笑 懂我意思吧？
it's like "fart in church" funny, you know what I mean?
那听起来也不好笑
That don't sound funny, either.
那就要看你离那个屁有多近啰
Well, it depends on your proximity to the fart.