难以伺候

High Maintenance S04E05

Part 3 March 9, 2020, 5:04 p.m.

《七♥宗♥罪♥》里的记得布拉德·皮特吗
From Seven? Remember Brad Pitt?
算了算了
Forget about it, forget about it.
没事这是什么
Cool. What's this?
你知道种芦笋的方法
Did you know the way they grow asparagus
让芦笋成为了蔬菜界的小牛肉吗
makes it like the veal of vegetables?
不知道但你猜怎么着我忘了拿小牛肉
No, but you know what? I forgot to get veal.
我忘了这个莎朗娜
That's what I forgot to do. Sharona?
我忘了拿小牛肉还有
I forgot to get the veal, and also,
水晶我放在床头柜上充电
the crystals, I left them on the nightstand to charge--
-我放到窗台上了 -真的吗你太棒了
- I put them on the windowsill. - You did? You're amazing.
-你太棒了 -爸爸看
- You are amazing. - Papa, look.
我是耶稣基♥督♥
I'm Jesus Christ.
-看着更像敌基♥督♥ -我的天
- More like the anti-Christ. - Oh, my God--
你们看过那个
have you all seen, uh,
油管上的摇滚街舞耶稣基♥督♥吗
Pop-n-Lock Jesus Chroist on YouTube?
是真的在跳摇滚街舞
Actually popping and locking.
-跳着去教堂 -跳着去教堂
- To the church. - To the church.
我们的朋友约翰·比安奇
Our friend John Bianchi
做了这个典型的衔尾蛇
made this quintessential ouroboros.
-蛇吃自己的尾巴 -没错
- A snake eating its own tail. - Yes.
这是饮食障碍症
That's an eating disorder.
这是个雕塑
It's a sculpture.
对雕塑你说得对
No, it's a sculpture. You're right.
你抽很多大♥麻♥ 对吧
You smoke a lot of weed, yes?
对没错
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
柬埔寨的烟管
A pipe from Cambodia.
我...行吧谢了
Oh, I-- Yeah, sure.
亲爱的能不能
Ma chérie , is it okay if, uh,
让粉粉去玩《舞力全开》
Powder plays Just Dance?
你们今天玩过了吗
Did you already play today?
我们跳舞了但没玩《舞力全开》
We danced, but we didn't Just Dance.
就玩二十分钟好吧
Twenty minutes, huh?
-你见过莎朗娜吗 -我们见过了
- Have you met Sharona? - Hi. Yeah, we met out--
-我们在外面见过 -我们对
- We met outside. Yeah. - We, yeah. Can--
-你好莎朗娜 -你好
- Hi, Sharona. - Hi.
-我们走吧 -好
- Let's go. - Okay.
我该去做沙拉了
I should make the salad.
那好我就我去看看狗
Oh, great. I'm, uh-- I'm gonna go check on the dog.
给你一管
One for you.
希望人也可以吃
I hope that's okay for humans.
我们很快就走好吗乖乖
We'll leave soon, okay? Okay.
抱歉抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
没事我马上就出来
That's okay. I'll be right out.
-我不是门开着 -对我快好了
- I didn't-- The door was open. - Oh, yeah. Almost done.
抱歉我只是多享受了一会高级马桶圈
I'm sorry. I was just taking some extra time on the Toto seat.
-你用吧 -好真抱歉
- There you go. - Yeah, I'm so sorry.
好
Okay.
老天你太臭了
Oh. Man, you really stink.
-什么 -你太臭了
- What's that? - You really stink.
哦对我整天都在打理花♥园♥
Oh, yeah. I mean, 'cause I was gardening all day.
还没找到机会冲澡
I haven't got a chance to shower.
你介意我闻一下吗
Do you mind if I, uh, take you in?
-你想闻闻看 -对
- You want to smell? - Yeah.
瞧见了吗你怎么看
You see this? How do you feel about this?
哦好的吧
Oh, wow. Cool.
-可以吗 -当然可以
- Is that okay? - Yeah, no. It's great.
她品味很独特
She's got exotic tastes.
-好浓烈 -肯定的
- So intense. - Yeah, for sure.
好吧
Cool.
哥们我们这是在看什么鬼东西
Dude, what the fuck are we watching over here?
酷吧是我朋友葛里塔·阿尔法罗拍的
Pretty awesome, right? This is a film by our friend,
叫《瞬间》
Greta Alfaro, called In Ictu Oculi.
你想吸烟吗
Hey, you wanna smoke?
有人想一起吗
Anybody want to do a J with me?
不了谢谢
Uh, no. No, thank you.
不来吗你想来一根吗哥们
No? You want to do one, man?
好久没吸过了
It's been a long time.
去吧杰克森
Go ahead, Jackson.
和你的单车小伙伴好好享受
Enjoy with you bicycle buddy.
好啊
Yeah, okay.
-我们走吧 -好
- Let's do it. - Okay, cool.
你之前是在哪家波斯美来着
So, which Postmate were you?
在四号♥
I was number four, dude.
很夸张他们直接给了我股票创业公♥司♥
It was crazy. They just offered me stock. It was a start-up--
-还有我的位置吗 -当然亲爱的
- Room for a third? - Yeah, love.
悠着点哥们
Watch it. Easy, tiger.
-悠着点 -太久没抽了太久了
- Take it easy. - Yeah. Been a long time. Long time.
太久了
Been a long time.
亲爱的
Mon cheri.
-来点吗 -不谢谢我可不是小屁孩了
- Do you want some of this? - No, thank you. I'm not a teenager.
那个叫什么
Oh, what was that...
那个应用软件
Uh, wha... What was that app?
-叫啥来着 -铰链
- Um, what was it called? - Hinge?
-苹果浏览器 -拉亚
- Safari? - Raya?
-谷歌♥浏览器 -股票
- Chrome. - Stocks.
不是的就是...
No, it was like, uh...
查找我的手♥机♥
Find my phone.
就像运送大♥麻♥的优步
It was like, Uber for weed delivery.
就是...你喜欢啵啵啵我喜欢这种大♥麻♥
She was like, "You like, boo-boop, I like this kind of weed.
-啵啵啵 -好吧
- Boop-boop-boop." - Okay.
我从来没听过
I never heard of that.
那对我来说可是坏消息
That's some... bad news for me.
你听说过没
Did you hear about the, um...
那些出租车司机之前贷款几百万
...about those taxi drivers who took out million-dollar loans
做出租车牌照
for the cab medallions,
然后优步来了
and then Uber came along...
把生意抢走了
...and took their business.
现在他们还不出贷款
And now, you know, they can't pay off their loans,
就自杀了
and they're committing suicide.
-不我没听过 -疯了吧
- No, I didn't hear about that. - Crazy.
是啊简直疯了
Yeah, that's crazy.
-咱们聊聊别的吧 -好
- So let's talk about anything else. - Right.
我好热这里太热了
I'm pretty hot. It's hot in here.
热水浴里当然热了哥们
Hot in this hot tub, man.
我都要烧起来了
I'm burning up.
好吧
All right.
我的天
Oh, my goodness.
荆棘
The thorn!
荆棘真理道路上的荆棘
The thorn! The thorn of truth!
撇去耶稣不说他现在
Jesus stuff aside, the joy that he is getting
从中享受到的乐趣 -加油
from this right now, come on!
他太有热情了
He's so passionate.
快听观众都快疯了
Listen to this crowd going nuts.
当然他相信自己在做的事真的相信
For sure. He believes what he is doing, for real.
确实瞧瞧他的样子
He does believe. Look at him.
-天啊 -天天啊
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
太棒了伙计
Very good, man.
-非常棒 - 我就说吧
- That was very good. - I told y'all.
我早说过了我超爱他
I told y'all. I love him.
-你们看过一个乌龟爱爱的视频吗 -看过
- You guys seen a turtle sex video? - Oh, yeah!
输入乌龟...
Type in, turtle, uh...
-乌龟爱爱 -鞋
- Turtle sex-- - ...shoe.
这是段经典
Oh, this is a classic.
你已经看过了吗
You've seen it?
有很多
There's a bunch of 'em.
-看着像僵尸似的 -你瞧它
- Looks like zombies. - Look at him!
瞧它的小丁丁
Look at his little dong!
我的天
Oh, my goodness.
这才叫街舞天王啊
Now that is popping and locking.
我的毛孔如此干净
...and how my pores are so clean...