难以伺候

众口难调
第四季第八集
别把桌子也推了啊
Not the table!
不
Oh, no.
天啊 这么快就急转直下
Oh God. This just got sad very quick.
不过我还没决定要怎么结束
And then, I‐I'm not sure how it's gonna end, though.
伙计
Wow, man.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you.
那是漂白大♥麻♥纤维 对吗
So that was sativa, right?
对
Yeah. I mean,
要是你要推♥翻♥桌子
if you're flipping tables,
那可能需要有一些隐藏含义
you might want an indica.
-随便一说 -不 我这个月
‐ Just saying. ‐ Nah. I got like 15 puppets
要演15场木偶戏呢
to bang out by the end of the month.
-好了 不废话 -我就要漂白大♥麻♥纤维
‐ All right. Say no more. ‐ I'll just have sativa.
-好 -但是能让他拿吗
‐ All right, cool. ‐ But can he pick it?
-当然了 -这样更有意思
‐ Sure. ‐ That's just more fun.
-当然了 -我来...
‐ Yeah, of course it is. ‐ Let me get‐‐
用木偶做任何事都更有意思
Everything's better with a puppet.
-这家伙有什么故事 -这家伙是
‐ What's this guy's deal? - This guy is
-一个精神萨满 -抱歉
- a psychiatrist shaman‐‐ - oop, sorry‐‐
纽约世界末日后的萨满
in, like, a post‐ apocalyptic New York,
他和一个住在他地下室的恶魔
and he's in a symbiotic relationship
是共生的关系
with a demon that lives in his basement,
他会把被他病人的泪水浸湿的纸巾
and, uh, he takes the tear‐soaked tissues
进贡给恶魔
of his patients and he feeds them to the demon.
恶魔就会帮他当选
And so the demon is gonna help him get elected
城市的市长 但是这很复杂
to be mayor of the city, but it's‐‐ it's complicated.
他基本算是一个精神病医生
He's a psychiatrist, basically.
如果你是一个吃眼泪的恶魔
You know, if you're a demon who eats tears,
那你真的很棒
that's a great job.
-对吧 -没错
‐ Yeah, right? ‐ Yeah.
好了 很好
All right. We're good,
-很好 很好 -好好好
- we're good, we're good. ‐ Okay, okay, okay.
-好了 -很抱歉 我太投入了 太失礼了
‐ Okay. ‐ I'm sorry, that was rude. I got into it.
-不 没关系 -等一下
‐ No, it's all right. ‐ Hang there.
-140 -嗯 很抱歉
- It's 140. ‐ Right. Sorry about that.
-哥们 别抱歉 -稍等
‐ Dude, don't be sorry. ‐ One second.
稍等一下
One second.
14...抱歉 都有点...
One‐forty... I'm sorry, it's all kind of...
-没关系 都是钱 -好了 伙计
‐ It's okay. It's just money. ‐ All right, man.
一 二 三 四
One, two, three, four...
-没错 伙计 非常感谢你 -谢谢
‐ Here we go, man. Thank you very much. ‐ Thank you.
-好了 -祝你和恶魔好运
‐ All right. ‐ Good luck with the demon.
这祝福我用得上
I will need it.
-保佑你 保佑你
- Bless you. - Bless you.
-是你打喷嚏了吗 -没有 我以为是你
‐ Did you sneeze? ‐ No, I thought that was you.
不 我没有...
No, I didn't...
-你家墙壁很薄吗 -我以前从来没听到过
‐ You got thin walls? ‐ I never heard anything before.
至少你的邻居们都很安静
Well, at least your neighbors are quiet.
-再见 -再见
‐ See ya. ‐ See ya.
该死
Oh, fuck.
-我要干♥死♥你♥ -你要干我
‐ I'm gonna fuck you right now. ‐ You're gonna fuck me?
没错 我要好好干♥你♥ 伙计 准备好了吗
Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you good, buddy. Ready?
我也要干♥你♥
Yeah, I'm gonna fuck you too.
放倒你了 伙计 看看被♥干♥的是谁
Gotcha, bitch! Who's getting fucked?
脖子上的洞更大
Bigger neck hole!
冲 冲
Thrust! Thrust!
你妈是个妓♥女♥
Your mother is a whore.
你应该去做分离手术
You should go ahead and get the separation surgery.
看 亲爱的
There, see honey?
医生也觉得应该这样
The doctor thinks it's a good idea.
所以 我们要进行手术
So, we are having the surgery.
但是 宝贝 我可能会死
But, baby, I could die.
我们可能会死
We could die.
我们只能抛弃你了 鬼宝宝
We had let you go, Ghost Baby.
没错 你应该多吃点菠萝 恶魔
Ah, yes. You should eat more pineapple, demon.
最后下注机会
Last bets!
你以前那么辉煌
You were above it all, weren't you?
伟大的木偶师啊 看看现在的你
The great puppeteer, and now look at you.
你真是恶心
You are fucking disgusting!
要我舔你吗 女王
Shall I lick you, my queen?
都是你的错
It's all your fault!
你是...
You're...
我的小黑呢 我的小黑呢
Where are my blacks? Where are my blacks? Where...
别说话 我说了别说话
Don't‐‐ There's no talking! I said no talking!
你怎么能把我的手拿走 放到你身体里
How you took my hand and put it inside you!
你为什么把我手拿走 放到你身体里
Why did you take my hand and put it inside you?
我不知道你的手为什么在我的身体里
I don't know why your hand is inside me.
为什么
Why?
祝福你
Bless you!
我们在床上躺一天吧
Let's stay in bed all day.
我倒想呢 我有好多事要干
Oh, I'd love to. I have so much shit I gotta do.
但今天是周日
But it's Sunday.
我有很多包裹要拆
I got all these boxes to unpack,
我还要把我的事做完
and I meant to get all my shit done,
但我昨晚还是去看了那部电影
but I ended up going to that movie last night.
你在哪儿看的电影
Where'd you see the movie?
骗你的
Bam.
你信了吗
You impressed?
我本来也没打算说什么
Well, I wasn't gonna... say anything.
那你现在得说点什么了
Okay, so now, you gotta say something.
只是...
Well, it's just...
我知道无论我们在做什么...
I know that whatever we're doing is...
我不知道那叫什么
I don't even know what to call it,
你还在从克里斯托夫的事中慢慢恢复
and you're healing from Christof or whatever,
但你是一个人去的吗
but did you go alone?
我和别人去的
Uh, I went with someone.
我知道
I know.
我有个朋友看到你们了 发短♥信♥告诉我了
A friend saw you there with someone and texted me.
这朋友真垃圾
That's a shitty friend.
所以还是那个你说你和她约会
So, is this the same person you went on a date with
但你根本不喜欢的人吗
that you said you didn't even like?
不 是另一个
No, it's a different one.
抱歉 这对你来说肯定难以接受
I'm sorry. That must've been‐‐ that must've sucked for you.
反正不算好受
Doesn't feel great.
我能问你件事吗
Can I ask you something?
-当然 -你到底喜欢我吗
‐ Sure. ‐ I mean, do you even like me,
-还是你只是不想一个人 -什么
‐ or do you just like not being alone? ‐ What?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我特别喜欢你
I'm crazy about you.
-是吗 -是的 宝贝
‐ Oh yeah? Yeah? ‐ Yeah. Babe.
我得去接这个电♥话♥
Oh shit. I should get that.
把事情做完
Finish the picture.
这周末还有万圣节派对吗
Hey, is that, uh, Halloween party still going on this weekend?
我是克里斯托夫 如果你有我的邮箱
It's Christof, and if you have my email,
-我会马上回复你 -克里斯托夫
‐ I'll get back to you faster. ‐ Hey, Christof.
克里斯 脱夫
Christ‐off.
我是AJ
It's aj.
我知道我们不该说话什么的
I know we're not supposed to be talking or whatever.
我不知道你收没收到我的短♥信♥ 但…
I don't know if you got my texts, but...
我有个奇怪的想法
I had a weird idea.
是一部名叫《拳头》的电影
Uh... it's a movie called Fisted,
一个女人被打了
where a woman gets fisted.
有点像《四十岁老处♥男♥》 但有拳打元素
It's kind of like 40‐Year‐Old Virgin but with fisting.
总之 我知道这很蠢 我觉得你会喜欢
Anyway, I know it's pretty dumb. I thought you'd appreciate it.
如果你想聊的话 我今晚在
Um, I'm around tonight if you wanna talk or not.
一切都很好 我也很好 就…
Everything's fine. I'm fine. I just...
只是想听听你的声音
just wanted to hear your voice.
再见
Okay, bye.
能给我来一块普通批萨和健怡可乐吗 谢谢
Hey, can I get a regular slice and a Diet Coke? Thanks.