难以伺候

现在点酒太早了吗
Hi. Is it too early to order a drink?
妈的 我应该先闻闻的
Oh, fuck! I should have smelled these before.
-这鞋臭死了 -总会有人
- They smell like shit. - Well, someone's gonna--
-别说总会有人好这口 -总有人会的
- Don't say someone's gonna love it. - Someone will!
-樱桃 -对了 我在这叫"樱桃"
- Hi, Cherry! - Oh, by the way, I go by "Cherry" here.
真的假的
Are you fucking serious?
洁玛
Hey, Gemma!
你好吗
Hey, how are you?
天哪 我已经做了大概十年陪审团成员了
God, I've been on jury duty for about ten years.
我的天
Oh, my God.
别等我了 没事的 我就...
Don't wait for me. It's fine. I'll just...
好的 好的
Okay, okay.
我认得你
Oh, I recognize you.
你真人高多了
You are so much taller in person.
-你真美 -谢谢夸奖
- You're gorgeous! - Oh, thank you so much.
我从没听别人说我真人更高
I-I never hear that, that I'm taller in person.
-甜心樱桃派 -奥斯卡
- Ah! Cherry pie! - Oscar!
你真是太动人了
Oh, you look bloody amazing.
是吧
Doesn't she?
我只是遗憾我没有机会
Now I'm just sad I didn't get the chance
亲自采访你
to interview you personally.
而你...
And, you...
好吧 好了
Oh, okay. Okay.
-我们今晚会尽情享乐 对吧 -没错
- We're gonna have a fun night, right? - Yeah, yeah.
我好兴奋
Woo! I'm so excited!
-玩得开心吗 -当然
- Having a good time? - Yes!
你今晚的味道特别迷人
Oh, you are smelling very, very good today.
谢谢
Thank you.
我的天 你在这
Oh my God, hey.
我想回去了
Oh! I wanna go.
-那我们下次见 -好
- I'll... see you around. - Yeah.
弗蕾蒂·乔达诺-罗斯
Freddie Giordano-Roth?
不好意思 什么
Excuse me, what?
-我的天 -天哪 你是艾迪
- My God... - Oh, my God, Eddie.
对 你好啊
Yeah, hey! Hi!
-天哪 -你好吗
- Wow. - How are you?
你妈妈还好吗
How is your mom?
我...我跟她不联♥系♥了
I don't-- I don't talk to her anymore.
好吧 你看起来一点没变
Well... you look the exact same.
我希望不是
I hope not.
我从98年到03年在和弗蕾蒂的妈妈约会
I dated Freddie's mom from 1998 to 2003.
其实是到04年 04年1月
Well, 2004 actually. January of 2004. 2004.
你的回忆
Memory on you.
这太疯狂了
That's insane.
我说不好算不算疯狂
I don't know that I'd call it insane.
我不是那个意思 只是说太巧了吧
I don't mean like insane. I'm just saying crazy scenario.
是啊 确实是 太巧了
Yeah, I guess this is... kind of crazy.
可不是嘛 艾迪
Wouldn't you say, Eddie?
不好意思 我只是太惊讶了
Wow, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm just blown away.
这就是你的室友弗蕾蒂
This is your roommate Freddie.
-对 -见鬼了
- Yes. - Holy shit.
-世界确实很小啊 -没错
- The world is really so small. - Yeah.
艾迪就是那个有狗在屋里拉屎后
Is Eddie the one who used to cut the squares out of the carpet
把地毯剪下来的人吗
when the dog used to shit in the house?
不 那个人是
No. That was the guy who...
帮我妈把屋子点着的那个
helped my mom set the house on fire.
艾迪向我妈求过两次婚 他是那个
Eddie proposed to my mom twice, he's that one. Ugh!
他以前还用两只脚开车
Also, he used to drive with two feet.
这也太蠢了吧 姐妹儿
Oh, that's entirely fooked, mate.
快和我朋友一样蠢了
Almost as fooked as me friend
被跟他爸一样的男人吮脚趾
gettin' her toes sucked by me almost dad.
还好几次呢 姐妹儿 我真不想说
Many times, mate. Hate to say it.
好几次 真的吗
Many times? Really?
我跟你说过的
I told you that.
我不知道 我喜欢他可能只因为我们名字押韵
I don't know. I think I just liked him 'cause our names rhymed.
我♥操♥
Oh, shit.
他给我发消息了
He texted me.
他还有你的号♥码
He has your number?
我们以前出去玩过
Oh like... we've hung out before.
你们以前还出去玩过
You've hung out before?
你们还出去玩过
You've hung out before?
你们还出去玩过
You've hung out?
和他
With him before?
不要这样看着我
Aah! Don't look at me like that!
-我需要钱 -什么
- I needed the money! - What?
我需要钱
I needed the money.
他在问 弗蕾蒂和我有没有兴趣
Okay, he's asking me if Freddie and I would be interested:
"我这有个赚外快的路子
"I have a way for you to make some extra cash.
"我要出城了 迫切需要保姆
"I'm leaving town and am in desperate need
"照顾猫咪和植物"
for a cat slash plant sitter."
对不起 我在脑补你们爱爱
Uh, I'm thinking about you fucking him. I'm sorry.
很明显他要付给我们钱
Well, he'd obviously pay us.
而且他只说要喂猫
And he's just saying like to feed the cat,
有株特别的兰花要浇水
and he has this special orchid that needs misting.
没错 他家确实有很多植物
That's right. He does have a lot of plants in his house.
你还去过他家
You've been to his house?
你知道吗 我觉得我们该接下来
You know what? I'm just sayin' we're gonna do it
因为他要出去两周
because he's gone for like two weeks.
等等 我们要在他家过夜
Wait. We're gonna stay over at his house?
对啊 蠢蛋
Yes, stupid!
好的吧 行吧
Yeah, oh, oh! All right. Okay.
这个浴室也...太夸张了吧
This is like a really... crazy bathroom.
你简直可以把所有朋友都叫上
You can really have all your friends in here with you.
我懂 里面像个衣帽间似的
Yeah, I know. It's like a locker room in there.
就是
Yeah.
我真的很想试试那些小便器
I really wanna try one of those urinals.
我以前试过 弄得到处都是
I have before, and it went all over the place.
你小时候在这里待过 太夸张了
Hmm... It's crazy you spent your childhood here, man.
就几年
Oh. Only a few years.
几乎都待在角落
And most of it was spent in the corner,
在泳池通杀电子游戏
murdering Sims in the pool.
通杀 睡衣不错
Murder. Love those pajamas.
-谢谢 是艾迪的 -猜到了
- Oh, thanks. They're Eddie's. - I figured.
再次感谢带我参观这豪♥宅♥
Thank you for the introduction to Halls again.
-天 尽管多拿点 -不客气
- Oh my God. Take as many as you want. Please. - Of course.
还记得那个广♥告♥里他像这样
Remember that commercial where he's like... Aah.
-我的喉咙 -对
- My throat! - Yeah.
好了 回头见
Yeah. All right, see ya later.
拜拜 谢谢
Bye! Thank you.
谢谢你们
Yeah, thank you.
不 谢谢你
No, thank you.
我不太会卷大♥麻♥ 告诉你一声
I suck at rolling joints, so you know.
八万吨♥的土豆
...80,000 pounds of potatoes,
美国人平均体重的二十三倍不止
23 times more than the average American.
因为她讨厌其他食物 凯莉还吃
Because of her aversion to other foods, Kelly even eat--
你想和我一起看《逃离梦幻岛》吗
Hey, would you wanna watch like Leaving Neverland with me?
我一直很想看
I've really always wanted to watch it, and just like,
但一直没合适机会
I've never been in the right head space...
好啊
Yes.
我们为什么要看这个
Why did we do that?
我还看过奥普拉特别节目
I'd be down to do the Oprah special, though.
我他妈绝对不看什么奥普拉特别节目
There is no fucking way in hell I'm doing that Oprah special.
感觉我得装成《粉雄救兵》什么的
Like I need like a... Queer Eye or somethin.
你不想试试吗
You don't wanna delve right in?
我觉得还很新鲜
I feel like it's fresh still.
不了
No.
真不敢相信你已经在这里睡过了
I can't believe you've already slept here.
是啊
Well, yeah...
你早晚会习惯的
Someday you'll get over it.
我不玩了
I'm done.