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你说什么
What?
我们在照片墙认识的
We met on Instagram.
我们已经聊了好几个月了
We've been DMing for a few months.
这才是你这趟旅程的原因吗
Is that why you wanted to go on this trip?
就为了见见照片墙认识的男人
So you can meet some guy from Instagram?
-我做了什么 -没有啊
‐ What did I do? ‐ Nothing.
人会因为别人有性生活而心生嫉妒
People get jealous when other people are having sex.
我就一直这样
It happens to me all the time.
我之前观察过这些男人
You know, I watched something, right, about these men,
他们自称是老兵
and they‐‐ and they claim to be veterans,
他们会骗光那些寂♥寞♥女♥人的钱
and they, and they screw lonely women out of all their money.
对 我见过
Yeah, I saw that.
如果不小心的话 潜水会碰到鲶鱼哦
You'll be snorkeling for catfish if you're not careful.
我闹着玩的了
I'm only messing!
他没问你要什么礼品卡之类的吧
But he didn't ask you for any gift cards or anything, did he?
因为那是欺诈的迹象
'Cause that's a sign of a scam. ‐
-我的天 -惨了
‐ Oh my God... ‐ Shit!
水 没事的
Water? That's okay.
要水吗
Water?
-他是谁 -我不知道
‐ Who's he? ‐ I don't know.
他就走进来
He just walked in
-问我要咖啡 -那是我的床
‐ and asked me for a coffee. ‐ That's my bed.
有垃圾吗
Trash?
我怎么把怕丢登记成情感支持犬
我来搞定
新画作 怎么样
好的吧
Okay.
谁啊
Hello?
对不起 我没别的地方去
I'm sorry, I don't have a place to go.
我没别的地能去 因为你说我能待在这的时候
I don't have a place to go because when you said
我就把自己房♥间转租了
I could stay here, then I sublet my room.
-我不想把他赶出去 -没事
‐ I would hate to, like, put him out. ‐ It's okay.
我只是不想打搅你的家庭时间
I just don't want to interrupt on your family time.
没关系
Ah, it's fine.
谢谢你
Thank you.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Holly jolly.
所以你明天要飞吗
So, you got a flight tomorrow or something?
我们订不到飞机
No. We couldn't get one,
所以几天后再走
so we're gonna leave in a couple days,
但你还是可以待在这
but you can still stay here.
谢谢
Thank you.
我不想走
I don't wanna go.
那就别走
So don't go.
我猜我怎么做都行
I guess I could do anything.
当然
Sure.
这首我不能和你一起唱
I can't sing that one with you.
复古风
Medieval.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
-圣诞快乐 -谢谢你的烟
‐Merry Christmas. ‐Thanks for the cigarette.
你抽比我抽好
Oh, better you than me.
如果你把大楼引着了
Look, if you burn this building down‐‐
我不会把大楼引着火
I'm not gonna burn the building down.
-外面太冷了 -你哪来的外套
‐ It's too cold out. ‐ Where'd you get that coat,
-还有那帽子 -楼上
‐ and that hat? ‐ Upstairs.
好吧 我们得把东西还上去
Okay, well, we need to get that back up there.
抱歉我没告诉你他的事
I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him.
没事
It's okay.
我很抱歉之前那个反应
I'm sorry I reacted that way.
就…
It's just, uh, ...
最近不容易
It's been hard.
我懂
I know.
真的很难 我最近很煎熬
It's been real hard. I'm having a hard time.
-而且现在还是圣诞节 -我懂
‐ And it's Christmas. ‐ I know.
你该去见他
You should meet him.
不 可能不见为好
No. I probably shouldn't.
而且他确实找我套走了一张礼物卡
And he did get a gift card out of me.
我期待旅行不是因为他
He's not the reason why I was excited about the trip.
-我怀孕了 -什么
‐ I'm pregnant. ‐ What?
你什么时候发现的
When did you find out?
就刚才 我做了测试
Just now. I just took the test.
天啊
Oh my God!
太棒了
Yes!
天 我都不知道你们在尝试
God, I didn't know you were trying!
也不是真的在刻意尝试
Well, we weren't really.
我真为你高兴
I'm so happy for you!
-我不能继续工作了 -好事
‐ I'll have to stop working. ‐ Good!
-你工作得太多了 -人人都在说
‐ You work too much. ‐ And they were all talking
现在把孩子带到世界上不好
about bringing babies into the world
-还有什么一切都会烧起来 -亲爱的
‐ and how everything's about to be on fire‐‐ ‐ Oh, honey,
那就跟宝宝一起被烧死
burn up with that baby.
你告柯克了吗
So, did you tell Kirk?
还没 我上午给他打电♥话♥
No, I'll... I'll call him in the morning.
等等 你先告诉了我
Wait. You told me first?
我可太激动了
This is such an exciting time.
人生头一回发现 居然…
When you first find out, it's‐‐
天啊 好吧 等等
Jesus! Okay, wait!
-看到没 我… -吓死我了
‐ See? I just, uh... ‐ Oh! My nerves...
我不能住在这里
I can't with this building.
-我得离开这里 -圣诞快乐
‐ I need to get out of here. ‐ Merry Christmas!
好了好了
Okay, okay, okay.
行了 我♥干♥了
All right, all right, all right, I did it.
我放弃了我的座位 我跟他们说
I gave up my seat. Told them I'm having
我有点急事 所以…
a personal emergency, so, you know,
-是实话 -绝对会有人
‐ the truth. ‐ Someone is absolutely
会因为这背心而叫住我
gonna call me out for this vest.
伙计 这是和合法的 她注册给你了
Dude, it's kosher. She's registered to you.
-好吧 -别紧张
‐ All right. ‐ Don't stress.
我是紧张你到现在还没选地方
I mean, I'm stressed that you haven't picked anywhere yet.
这也是乐趣的一部分
That's part of the fun.
东京怎么样
Oh, what about Tokyo?
那里挺酷的 我觉得你得买♥♥一些
It's pretty cold there. I feel like you'd need
比你之前那些暖和得多的衣服
to buy, like, way warmer clothes than you brought.
好吧 我觉得我想去个暖和的地方
Yeah, I think I want somewhere warm.
好吧 那你绝对应该
Yeah. Uh, I mean, you should definitely
待在赤道以南的某个地方
stay somewhere south of the equator then.
新西兰
New Zealand!
魔多[出自指环王]
Mordor!
太棒了
That's awesome.
好吧 这是个价值不菲的
Okay, this is a very expensive
长达30小时的旅途
and long 30‐hour trip.
-放手去吧 知道吗 -30小时的旅程
‐ Just do it. You know what? ‐ Thirty‐hour trip.
我会给你一颗克诺平
I will give you some Klonopin,
然后你可以看20来部电影
and then you can watch, like, 20 movies,
反正飞多久就看多久呗
or however fucking long that is,
然后吃一些谷物片
and eat some Chex Mix,
等看完20部电影 你就到了
and then at the end of the 20 movies, you'll be there.
-好吧 -来
‐ Okay. ‐ Here you go.
我真要去了
I'm gonna do it.
我要搭上下一班去奥克兰的飞机
I'm gonna get on the next flight to Auckland.
你应该去
You should do it.
各位下午好 现在
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. At this time,
我们将开始登机
we'll begin boarding American flight‐‐
-好了 来 怕丢 -我们走
‐ All right, baby. Come on, Fomo. ‐ Let's go.
好姑娘
Good girl!
宝贝
Well, baby.
好好玩
Have fun out there.
就几周时间 好吗
It's just gonna be a couple weeks, okay?
你还会见到她的
You're gonna see her again.
我知道 我只是在习惯这个联合监护的事
I know. I'm just getting used to this joint custody thing.
保护好那只眼睛 要是那只眼也…
Take care of that eye, please, 'cause if that eye goes...
-那就完了 -明白
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