难以伺候

你住在亚利桑那吗
So, you live in Arizona?
不 我住在这里
No, I live, uh, here.
她要去巴纳德学院了
Yeah, she's going to Barnard.
我知道
I know of it.
她喜欢你 伊拉娜
Aw, she likes you, Ilana.
-你喜欢住在这里吗 -挺好的
- You like living here? - Um, it's fine.
她不会走到110大街那边
She doesn't really go below 110th Street.
-为什么要去呢 -没错
- Why would you? - That's true, yes.
很高兴你回来了
Oh, I'm glad I got you here.
我有点担心你壁橱里的那些宝贝
I have some preemptive concerns about your babies in the closet.
我们...
Uh, let's...
-到这边来说吧 -好
- ...talk about that over here. - Oh. Okay.
太可爱了
So cute.
我觉得里面可能有红蜘蛛
I think you might have spider mites.
-不可能 -真的
- No... - Yeah.
这个螨[或许]有点问题
This "mite" be a problem.
-哪儿 -看到我说的了吗
- Where? - See what I'm saying?
在那下面 我觉得那里有蜘蛛网
Well, under here, I think these are little webs
不可能 老兄
That's impossible, man.
我喷了杀虫剂
I fucking sprayed it with an insecticide.
这不应该...
This isn't supposed to...
我不是个医生 但我觉得
Okay, I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think
这些是大♥麻♥叶
these are weed plants.
挺好 继续犯法
Cool. Yeah, just keep breaking the law.
我要去厕所
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
不过马上要合法了 真的
It's almost legal, though, truly.
怕丢 你要和我一起去吗
Fomo, are you coming with me?
这就是家里的缉毒局
So, that's my narc side of the family.
她爸爸是个缉毒警
Her dad is, like, a total fuckin' narc.
他在汤姆·佩蒂的音乐会上告发了一个吸大♥麻♥的人
He actually told on somebody at the Tom Petty concert for smoking weed.
-是你哥哥吗 -是的
- This is your brother? - Yeah. Like,
就在那首歌♥《再卷一支麻》的时候
during that "Roll Another Joint" song, like...
那是个什么演唱会
What tour was that?
他们还没有取消明天的活动
They haven't canceled anything tomorrow yet,
所以…或许吧
so maybe.
我不知道 宝贝 下雪了就是下雪了
I don't know, honey. Snow is snow.
宝贝 放松 你有点管闲事
Baby, relax. You know, you're bossy.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
节日快乐
Happy Holidays.
晚餐不错
Nice spread.
是啊
Yes.
...你的过去 守财奴
...of your past, Scrooge.
不不 这不是我刚说的 专注一点
No, no. That's not what I said. Pay attention.
等一下
One second.
让我进去 这里的人我都不认识
Let me in. I don't know anybody here.
我还需要一会儿
I need a minute!
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas!
圣诞快乐
Oh, happy Christmas!
-圣诞快乐 -我能拿个开瓶器吗
- Happy Christmas! - Oh, can I get the opener?
你请便 别客气
Oh, please! Yeah, help yourself!
-你们准备好出发了吗 -穿成这样 你开玩笑吗
- You guys ready to go? - Like this? Are you joking?
我还没洗澡呢 我得去刮腿毛
What? I haven't even showered. I've gotta shave me legs.
我们跟着你 好吗
We'll follow you, okay?
-你们要去哪儿 -奥斯汀的啤酒屋
- Where you guys gonna go? - Austin's Ale House.
只有那里还开着
The only place that's open.
好了 祝你度过愉快的一晚
All right. Have a good night.
我们可以在机场见
We can catch up at the airport.
不 那是异常情况操作政策 他们没什么办法
No, it's IROP. There's nothing they can do about it.
我知道
Oh, I know.
跟她说 我很快回家 安妮·梅 不要...
Tell her, tell her, I'll be home soon, and Annie May, don't...
有一帮人要去一个名叫奥斯汀的地方
Some folks are going to a place called Austin's.
-好吧 -我们应该去
- Okay. - We should go!
会很有趣的
It could be fun!
这是我的床
Hey, that's my bed.
抱歉
Sorry.
我本来想到那儿就包起来
I was gonna wrap it as soon as I got there.
你能做吗
Can you, can you do it?
包起来 藏起来 别让他发现
Wrap it and hide it from him?
你为什么要把戒指锁起来
Why you locking up your rings?
我们不知道谁在这里 这可是纽约
We don't know who's here. It's New York City.
我要偷走你的戒指
Yeah... I'm gonna steal your rings.
生日信纸喝圣诞节信纸
...birthday paper and Christmas paper.
我在这里待着感觉很奇怪
I feel weird being here.
我们能去酒店开个房♥吗
Can we please get a hotel room?
-或者民宿也行 -不 小帕
- Or an Airbnb? - No, Pam.
我不打算再多花钱了
I'm not spending extra money
这里的钱我都付了
after I've already paid for this.
抱歉 这些床都被占了吗
Excuse me, do you know if all of these beds are taken?
是的 女士 都被占了
Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry, they are.
好吧 你可以睡我的床
Okay, well, you can have my bed,
我去睡沙发
and I'll just take the couch.
不 你可以睡床 我去睡沙发
No, you can take the bed. I'll take the couch.
你至少跟我推辞两下啊 该死
You could at least pretend to fight me on that. Damn.
女士们 我需要你们安静一点 谢谢
I'm gonna need you to be real quiet, ladies. Thank you.
我要尴尬死了
I'm freezing!
-别告诉他 -至少上网查一下
- But don't tell him. - You should Google it.
-我应该查一下 -不 很重要
- I should. - Yeah. No, it's serious.
系统崩溃了
I mean, the system crashed.
他们想给我们订个四到五人的房♥间
They wanted to books us like four to five to a room.
该死
Fuck me.
我发誓 我订的时候
I swear, there were, like,
那里有六张床
six beds here when I texted.
没事的
It's fine.
我可以睡在瑜伽垫上
I can sleep on my yoga mat.
我这里有一些给女士们的热红酒
I've got some mulled wine for you ladies here.
-太好了 -来 女士
- Yes. - Here you go. Cinnamon.
疯了 除了特朗普大厦 其他酒店都订光了
This is nuts! All the hotels are booked except Trump.
-你在找什么 -我还在查
- What are you finding? - I'm still looking.
你呢
How about you?
西西里 瑜伽疗养
Sicily. Yoga retreat.
看这剁碎的玩意
That's some Chopped shit!
手头有什么我就尽量用什么 宝贝
I do my best with what I got, honey.
-圣诞快乐 -圣诞快乐
- Ha, merry Christmas! - Mmhmm, merry Christmas!
我叫小帕 那是我姐姐黛丝缇妮
I'm Pam, and this is my sister Destiny.
我是塞萨尔 你们是姐妹俩啊
I'm Cesar. The two of you sisters?
-真不错 -你的酒呢
- That's so cute. - Where's your wine?
不了 亲爱的 我戒了
Oh, no, love. I'm sober.
但我喜欢看
But I like to watch.
我明白
I got you.
你本来今天应该去哪里啊 塞萨尔
So, where were you supposed to be today, Cesar?
我本来应该飞纳什维尔
Oh, I was supposed to fly to Nashville
去看我男朋友伊弗雷姆
to see my boyfriend, Ephraim,
可他被转飞去了夏洛特 全乱套了
but he got rerouted to Charlotte. It's a whole mess.
也许你明天就可以去了
Well, maybe you can get there tomorrow.
我可不知道 亲爱的
Oh, I don't know, honey, you know?
他们说风要刮一整晚
They're talking about winds all night
还有一早上呢 还要下雪
and all morning, and more snow.
我真说不准
I... I just don't know.
我来给你倒杯热香料红酒吧
Hey, let me get you some mulled wine.
-你叫什么来着 -不用 我不喝了
- Tell me your name again. - No, no, I'm good.
-詹妮 -我是塞萨尔
- Uh, Jennie. - I'm Cesar.
不管了 我就订特朗普大厦了
Fuck it. I'll book the Trump.
别对我评头论足
Don't judge me.
所有去棕榈泉机场的我都鄙视
I dump anything that goes to PSP.
-无意冒犯啊 -没事 去他的棕榈泉
- Hey, no offense about that. - Oh no, fuck Palm Springs.
他往咖啡里兑百利甜酒
And he was putting Bailey's in his coffee.
-不会吧 -他们在廊桥上吹气测了体内酒精
- Oh no. - They did a Breathalyzer right on the jet bridge.
太傻了
Oh, that's so stupid.
奥斯汀机场关闭了
Austin's is closed.
那边是他妈的世界末日了
It's the end of the bloody world out there.