欢乐再满屋（2016）

嘿 宝宝 我就想告诉你
Hey, Babe, I just want to tell you...
女孩 女孩 女孩 你要把我点燃了
♪ Girl, girl, girl You're going to set me on fire! ♪
闭嘴
Stop!
你在这里干什么 - 我正跟着我最爱的舅舅搬去洛杉矶
What are you doing here? - I'm moving to LA with my favorite uncle.
知道你不该干什么吗 就是别和你最爱的舅舅搬去洛杉矶
Know what you're not doing? Moving to LA with your favorite uncle.
但是如果我在车里 你就可以走内道了
But if I'm in the truck, you can use the carpool lane.
噢 那可以省点时间 过来这里
Oh, that would save some time...No, get up here.
好吧
All right.
是因为你失去了自己的卧室吗
Is this about losing your bedroom?
不 不只是那个 是所有的一切
No, it's not just that.I mean, it's everything.
我习惯住在一个都是男人的房♥子里
I used to live in a house full of guys.
现在到处都是女人 我寡不敌众
Now, there's women everywhere. I'm outnumbered.
跟女人住在一起 你会学到很宝贵的东西 比如如何跟她们交谈
Living with women, you'll learn valuable lessons, like how to talk to them.
例如贝姬和她糟糕的厨艺
Take Becky and her terrible cooking,for instance.
她做的千层面吃起来就像 那叫什么 运动裤
She makes this lasagna that tastes like..What's the word...? Sweatpants.
我就不停的喂给狗吃
And I just keep feeding it to the dog
因为我不知道怎么告诉她那个有多恶心
because I don't know how to tell her how disgusting it is.
我们的狗现在差不多300磅重了
Now our dog weighs about 300 pounds.
这还在录音
It was still recording.
她全听见了 她会杀了我的
She heard my whole...She's going to kill me.
如果我们躲在墨西哥就不会 我们可以一起斗牛
Not if we hide out in Mexico.We could fight bulls together.
不 行不通的 因为我穿斗牛士裙裤不好看
No, it can't work because I don't look good in matador culottes.
给你妈发短♥信♥ 告诉她你跟我在一起并且我们在回家的路上
Text your mom, tell her you're with me and we're on our way home.
孩子别这样 我们可以找点乐趣
Oh, come on, kid. We can have some fun.
看这个
Watch this.
投入点 - 噢
Get into it. - ♪ Ooh ♪
来 给你们 - 谢谢
Here you go, guys. - Thank you.
嗨 孩子们 - 嗨 老妈
Hi, kids. - Hi, Mom.
看呀 是迪吉小分队
Look, it's Team D.J.,
地球上最可靠的联合家长
the most reliable co-parents on the planet.
我早些时候收到杰克森发给我的信息 让我有一点担心
I had a text from Jackson earlier that had me a little concerned,
但感觉今天一切都很好
but it sounds like everything went perfectly fine today.
极好的
Fabulous.
完美无瑕
And flawless.
杰克森在哪儿 - 噢 他在楼上的某个角落
So where is Jackson? - Oh, he's upstairs somewhere.
自从我解决了你卧室的惨败事件后
You know, he has been quiet as a mouse
他就像只小老鼠一样安静
ever since I solved your whole bedroom fiasco.
我真希望我有你这么棒的育儿技巧
Boy, I wish I had your amazing parenting skills.
别难过 我知道你尽力了
Don't feel bad. I know you do your best.
嘿杰克森 过来这儿
Hey, Jackson, get in here!
来了
Here I am.
杰克森 告诉迪吉小分队 你去哪里了
Jackson, tell Team D.J. where you've been.
唔 我在杰西叔叔的车里
Um, I was in Uncle Jesse's truck.
一路到了弗雷斯♥诺♥
I made it all the way to Fresno.
这孩子的膀胱可以夺冠了
This kid's got the bladder of a champ.
就在迪吉小分队还以为自己做得极好与完美无瑕的时候
All while Team D.J. was being fabulous and flawless.
小迪 我很抱歉
Deej, I am so sorry.
要泡沫鸡尾酒吗
Frothy cocktail?
从好的方面看 四分之三的孩子一整天都待在这里
On the bright side, three out of four of the kids were right here all day.
好吧 我觉得我们需要开个家庭会议
Okay, I think we need a family meeting.
我懂这个表情 我为迪吉小分队感到难过
I know that look. I feel sorry for Team D.J.
我能回家 我没有惹上什么麻烦 对吗 - 是的 我才有麻烦
I can go home. I'm not in trouble, right? - No, I am.
我今天刚上任就搞砸了
It's my first day and I blew it.
别对自己太苛刻 还记得我的第一天吗
Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember my first day?
我在肉架上给米歇尔换尿布
I changed Michelle on a meat rack,
你和迪吉在扩音器上面跳舞
and you and D.J. were go-go dancing on top of amplifiers,
一整晚上吃着圣代和披萨
eating sundaes and pizza all night.
你当时真是束手无措
You were so clueless.
不过很棒
It was awesome.
好吧 我学到了很多 所以你也会的 我爱你 小芬
Well, I learned and so will you. I love you, Steph.
我也爱你 - 大伙再见
You, too. - Goodbye, everybody!
再见
Bye!
完了 贝姬的短♥信♥
Uh-oh. Text from Becky...
亲爱的杰西 我和胖狗在享受着我做的千层面
"Dear Jesse, me and the fat dog are enjoying my lasagna.
你的晚餐在狗屋 那将是你睡觉的地方
Your dinner is in the doghouse where you'll be sleeping."
事实上 不用吃千层面的话睡狗屋是值得的
Actually, it's worth it not to have to eat that lasagna.
好的 第一件事
Okay, first things first...
我不想做个一边摇手指一边说第一件事的人
I don't want to be a person who wags her finger while saying "first things first",
所以我会将手指拿开
so I'll put this thing away.
杰克森 你在想什么
Jackson, what were you thinking?
妈妈 你应该知道 当斯蒂芬妮搬进去你房♥间时你要出走了
Mom, you should know. You ran away when Stephanie moved into your room.
你怎么连这个都知道
How would you even know that?
好了 在我看来
Okay, in my defense,
这是阿姨对外甥进行良性劝导时的小小错误
that was a small part of a much larger inspirational aunt-nephew teaching moment
结果却错大发了
gone horribly wrong.
按照你这么说 我只是去了车♥库♥ 你都跑出这个郡了
To your point, I ran away to the garage. You left the county.
嘿 我们不要去狡辩谁的出走更好 好吗
Hey, let's not quibble over whose runaway was better, okay?
我知道我不应该就这样走了
I know I shouldn't have left like that.
我就是生气了
I just got mad.
我的意思是 先是爸爸死了 然后我们都搬到这里来了
I mean, first dad dies, then we all have to move in here.
现在有更多人搬进来这里 最糟糕的是我连自己房♥间都没有了
Now there's more people moving in here,and to top it all off, I lose my room.
小杰
Jax.
我知道这很不容易
I know this is just tough...
但是你有一整屋子爱你的人
but you have a house full of people who love you.
至于的你房♥间没了 我懂得
And as far as your room goes, I get it.
我曾以为跟这家伙一起搬进来要毁了我的人生
I thought moving in with this squirt was going to ruin my life.
但我们一起分享那个房♥间后变的很亲近
But we got really close sharing that room.
且现在你在这里陪着我
And now you're here for me.
你现在可能看不出来 但跟你弟弟一起住是一种福气
You may not see it now, but living with your brother is a blessing.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
我一直都在这儿陪你 老哥
I'm here for you, Bro.
像在犀牛背上帮他将寄生虫都吃掉的小鸟一样
Like the little bird that eats the parasites off the rhino's back.
有人能给我解释一下这孩子到底在说什么吗
Can anyone explain what this kid's talking about?
是个经典的共生关系
It's a classic symbiotic relationship.
雷蒙娜 我知道这对你也很不容易 我和你♥爸♥爸分开了
Ramona, I know this is hard on you, too, with your dad and I separated,
但正如我在帮迪吉一样
but as much as I'm helping D.J.,
她也在帮我
D.J.'s helping me.
我是个新手单亲妈妈
I'm new at this single-parent thing.
我们都在逐步探索
We're all figuring this out.
所以每个人都要尽到自己的责任 让这个家庭运作起来
So everybody has to do their part to make this new family work.
那意味着 要尊重 妥协 和诚实 可以吗
That means respect, compromise, and honesty, okay?
我加入 不过我从没退出过
I'm in. But I was never out.
杰克森
Jackson?
好吧 可以
Yeah, okay.
雷蒙娜呢
Ramona?
我真不敢相信我要说出这句话
I can't believe I'm going to say this,
但如果你这么绝望的想要拿回你的房♥间
but if you're so desperate to have your room back,
我就去住在霍比特洞里面
I'll go live in the hobbit hole.
太好了
Yes!
你真好
That is so sweet of you,
但我觉得杰克森和马克斯会很乐意住在一起的
but I think Jackson and Max are going to love living together.
感谢上帝
Oh, thank God!
嘿 小迪
Hey, Deej,
秉承着诚实的精髓
in the spirit of honesty, um...
我把手♥机♥留在了你宝宝的尿布里 并且用他的屁♥股♥接了你的电♥话♥
I lost my phone in your baby's diaper and I butt-answered your call.
什么
What?
说的好像你从未将手♥机♥留在尿布里一样
Oh, like you've never lost a phone in a diaper before.
没有过 - 我曾经把手表留在了鸡蛋沙拉里
No. - Once, I lost a watch in some egg salad.
知道我们需要什么吗 一个群抱抱 过来
You know what we need? A group hug! Come on!
抱歉 我忘了我的幸运墨镜
Sorry, I forgot my lucky sunglasses.
我就知道会有个拥抱
I knew there would be a hug.
是只有我吗 还是你们也听到小提琴声了
Is it just me or do you hear violins?