欢乐再满屋（2016）

汤米 我写了首新歌♥ 想知道能不能被新一代接受
Tommy, I wrote a new song, trying to see if it appeals to the youth demographic.
你的年龄跟他们相仿
And you're about as youth as they get.
对吧 试一下吧
Right? Let's see.
你觉得如何
What do you think?
好了 你已经准备好混夜店了 小盆友
Alright, you are ready for the club, kid!
来瓶本店特♥供♥的鲜奶吧
And here comes the bottle service.
别着急 麦克斯
Take your time, Max.
一招错 就会满盘皆输
One wrong move and it's all over.
抽啊抽啊
Jengaaa...
我知道你是想打乱我的思绪
I know you're trying to mess with my head.
还真起作用了
And it's working.
不要晃 不要晃
Easy, easy...
除了你谁都不准动
Nobody move but you...
别啊 - 太棒了
No! - Yes!
叠叠乐高手 叠叠乐大王再度获胜
J-Money, Jenga Master, wins again!
我真是什么都赢不了你啊
I can't beat you at anything.
别这样 不是这样的
Oh, that's not true.
你在输这方面一直都遥遥领先
You always beat me at losing.
是啊 这倒是真的
Hey! That's right.
你好坏
Hey! That's mean.
你的确有点过份
That was kinda mean.
知道吗 我跟麦克斯是同病相怜
You know, I was in the same boat as Max.
我就是那个一直被你妈妈打败的小妹妹
I was the little sister and your mom beat me at everything.
当然 我知道 她老是说当年玩扭扭乐把你打得落花流水
I know. She's always bragging about kicking your butt at Twister.
她会赢是因为她比我高一倍
She only won because she was twice my size.
我右手在红色方块上的时候 左脚就没办法够到绿色方块上
I couldn't quite get my left foot on green while my right hand was on red.
现在每次看到交通灯变灯的时候 我都能闻到扭扭乐垫子的味道
Now every time I see a stoplight change, I can smell that cheap vinyl mat.
好了 不说这些
Okay. I'm back.
听着 让麦克斯赢一两次就好
Look, just let Max win sometime.
你是要我故意输吗
You mean lose on purpose?
就算是故意的 我都不一定能输
I'm not sure if I could do that if I tried.
说真的 我就是这么棒
Honestly, I'm that good.
你妈以前也爱说这种话
Oh, that's just what your mother used to say.
我今天要跟史蒂夫正式约会
I've got my big date with Steve today.
上次约会还是20年以前的事了
It's been 20 years since we went out.
我紧张到心里痒
I've got butterflies.
你会留下来照顾孩子们 对吧 - 当然
You're watching the kids, right? - Oh, sure.
事实上 我刚还在跟杰克森说到
In fact, I just had a nice chat with Jackson
作大姐姐的 不对 我是说作大哥哥的
about how the older sister, I mean brother,
不该用自身优势欺负自己的妹妹 我是说弟弟
shouldn't take advantage of the younger sister, I mean brother.
我懂了 又是扭扭乐的事
Oh, I get it. This is about Twister.
我最后再说一次
For the last time,
我赢你是因为我比你厉害
I beat you because I out-played you,
我比你强 扭得比你好
I out-witted you, I out-Twistered you.
说真的 我就是这么棒
Honestly, I'm that good.
好吧 你 和我 正午时分 扭扭乐对决
Alright. You. Me. Twister board. High noon.
我得去约会
I've got a date.
傍晚时分
High afternoon.
对决就对决
You're on.
准备好被扭败吧 姐姐
Prepare to get twisted, sister.
吉米 你在干什么
Kimmy, what are you doing?
我看到孩子们在玩儿叠叠乐 就想用午餐肉也来个叠叠乐
I saw the kids playing Jenga so I thought I'd try it with lunch meats.
不要动 都不要动
Easy now, easy...
早知道就该拽熏牛肉
Why didn't I pull the pastrami?
对了 说到吃的 今天可是迪杰和史蒂夫正式约会的日子
Oh, speaking of food, today's D.J.'s big date with Steve.
你知道 我是挺史蒂夫的 - 我挺马特
You know I'm Team Steve. - And I'm Team Matt.
为什么 你不喜欢史蒂夫吗
Why? Don't you like Steve?
不是 史蒂夫很好 我只是喜欢跟吉米作对而已
Oh, no, Steve's great, I just like rooting against Kimmy.
知道吗 这整件事就像《单身汉》里的情景
This thing is just like The Bachelorette.
什么 我的人生可不是真人秀
What? My life is not a reality show.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
因为你可是同时跟两个人约会 再从两人之中
You're seeing two guys, going on a one-on-one date with each of them
选出一个赢家
and then picking a winner.
天呐 我真成了“单身汉”
Oh, no! I am The Bachelorette.
在我看来 马特代表未来 而史蒂夫代表过去
The way I see it, Matt is the future and Steve is the past.
史蒂夫才不是过去呢
Steve's not the past.
哟 哟 哟 史蒂夫·黑尔驾到
Yo, yo, yo. Steve Hale in the house.
嘿 小迪
Hey, Deej.
史蒂夫 你看着
Steve, you look...
变年轻了 更性感了
Younger? Sexier?
不 我想说的是 你头发更“雀巢”了
No, no, I was gonna say "squirrel-nestier."
今天我要带着迪杰回到我们叱咤风云过的湾景高中
I'm taking D.J. back to when we were the hottest couple at Bayview High.
哇 听起来超有意思的
Oh, that sounds like so much fun.
我应该去找个发箍
Oh, I should go get a scrunchie
再找付大垫肩
and some shoulder pads.
还得再弄个寻呼机 以防哪个90年代的旧友想联♥系♥我呢
And a pager in case anyone needs to reach me in the nineties.
好了 把她打发走了 你们两个 跟我说说
She's gone. You guys, talk to me.
怎么样 我跟马特竞争得如何 她俩的约会很顺利吗 全部道来
What's happening? Did she have a good date with Matt? Tell me everything.
没什么好担心的
Nothing to worry about.
太棒了
Yes!
我该为午餐肉叠叠乐申请专利
I've gotta patent this Meat Jenga.
圣诞节之前就得大范围铺货
Get it in the stores before Christmas.
吉米 各大卖♥♥场都铺好货了 叫做熟食区
Kimmy, it's already in the stores. It's called the deli section.
伙计们 别斗嘴了 重点是我的约会
Guys. Please. Back to my date.
我知道我看着超镇定 但其实我紧张到爆了
I know I look super cool but I'm a nervous wreck.
你能赢到迪杰的芳心的
You can win D.J.'s heart.
你够贴心 够帅 还很可爱
You're sweet, you're charming, you're adorable.
见鬼 你可是史蒂夫·黑尔啊
You're Steve Hale, damn it.
见鬼 我可是史蒂夫·黑尔
I'm Steve Hale, damn it.
我可是2012年湾景区最佳足疗师
I was Bay Area "Podiatrist of the Year" in 2012.
做好全面准备了
We're on like Donkey Kong.
看呐 我找到了以前的拍拍腕带了
Look, I found my old slap bracelet.
不错嘛
Nice.
不过找不到垫肩了 所以用纸尿裤来代替吧
Couldn't find my shoulder pads, though, so I'm using Huggies instead.
你看起来棒呆了 小迪 我们这就全速出发
You look totally rad. Okay, Deej, we're outie 5,000.
我在车上准备了艾拉妮丝·莫莉塞特的音乐
I've got Alanis Morissette bumping in the car.
你知道她的歌♥到底在唱些什么吗
Do you know who that song is really about?
史蒂夫真是深爱着迪杰 他甚至没注意到三明治的存在
Steve's so in love with D.J. he didn't even notice this sandwich.
三 二 一
Three, two, one...
嘿 三明治到底有没有人要吃啊
Hey! Is anybody using that sandwich?
哇
Wow!
是的 女士 如果你在婚礼后六个月内
Yes, ma'am. Gibbler Style is offering half off
举办婴儿受洗礼的话 吉布勒策化可以给你打对折
if you book your baby shower within six months of your bridal shower.
这是我们的“别算计了”特惠
It's our "Don't Do the Math" special.
你来这儿做什么
Hey! What are you doing here?
我有惊喜要给你
I have surprises for you.
多到不能再多的惊喜
A surprising number of surprises.
偶滴天呐
OMG!
你们竟然在亲嘴
You guys were kissing.
我们没亲嘴
We were not kissing.
有一颗爆米花卡在了你♥妈♥的♥臼齿上
Your mother had a piece of popcorn wedged behind her molar
我不过是用舌头帮她挑出来而已
and I was trying to dislodge it with my tongue.
说实话好吗
Just tell me the truth.
真♥相♥是 你♥爸♥的肺罢♥工♥了
The truth is... your father's lung collapsed
我正试着帮他复苏呢
and I was trying to reinflate it.
装可爱根本就不管用 是吧
We're not going to cute story our way out of this, are we?
好吧 你♥爸♥爸和我最近有点小暧昧
Okay, your papa and I have been doing a little bit of... canoodling...
暧昧到火花四溅
With a sprinkling of hanky spanky.
就是你们真的合好了吗
So you guys are really back together?
我的生日愿望实现了
My birthday wish came true!
我要发推特告诉我所有的朋友们 费尔吉米回归啦
I'm gonna tweet all my friends about it. Fernimmy is back.
费尔吉米
Fernimmy?
费尔南多和吉米加起来就是费尔吉米
Fernando plus Kimmy equals Fernimmy.
总比费尔部勒要好听
Sounds better than Fergibbler.
看看咱俩 还有夫妻代称呢
Look at us. We even have a couple name.
就像布莱吉莉娜一样
We are just like Brangelina.
不同的是咱们比他们现好看点
Only we are much better-looking.
你不是说有惊喜要给我吗
Didn't you have a surprise for me?
对
Ah.
我准备了一项可以改变你我一生的一日计划
I have a very special day planned that could change all of our lives.