欢乐再满屋（2016）

好了 计划是这样的
Okay, here's the game plan...
蕾蒙娜搬到杰克森的房♥间
Ramona is moving into Jackson's room,
小宝宝去麦克斯的房♥间
the baby is going into Max's old room,
你们俩搬到走廊尽头的
and the two of you are moving across the hall into the...
好房♥间
good room.
太棒了 抱一下 室友
Awesome! Give me a hug, roomie!
别这样嘛 杰克孙
Come on, Jackson.
这对你和麦克斯都会很好的
This will be a really good thing for you and Max.
会让你们变得更亲近 - 还能更近到什么程度
It will bring you closer together. - How much closer can we be?
那就让我们看看好房♥间的魔力咯
Let's find out in the good room.
喂 这个蛋糕是给两个孩子准备的
Hey, that cake was for the boys.
嗯 是啊
Hm? Oh.
我们知道 我们给他们每人都留了点儿
We know. We saved them each a slice.
我有个坏消息要跟你们说
I've got some bad news.
太棒了 还有个蛋糕
Great, another cake!
好像今天糟糕的事情还不够一样 我老板刚打来了电♥话♥
As if today weren't crazy enough, my boss just called.
宠物诊所有紧急事情要处理
There's an emergency down at the pet clinic.
真希望可以不去 - 不用担心
I wish I didn't have to go... - Fear not.
这就是我跟吉米在这里的原因啊 让你的日子更好过点
This is exactly why Kimmy and I are here... to make your life easier.
我们是迪杰小分队 - 迪杰小分队会支持你的
We are Team D.J. - And Team D.J.'s got your back.
谢谢 太感谢你们了 真不知道没有你们我该怎么办
Oh, thank you, guys, so much. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.
来 迪杰小分队
Team D.J. on three.
一 二 - 等一下
One, two... - Well, hold on.
是说一二后第三下说迪杰小分队
Is it one, two, and then we say "Team D.J." on three?
还是一二三后说迪杰小分队
Or is it one, two, three, and then we say it?
那就是说四下了 没有人说四下的
That would be going on four. Nobody goes on four.
把我当成什么了 加拿大人吗
What am I, Canadian?
我还是让你们两个好好研究一下吧
I'm going to let Team D.J. work this out.
我忍♥了你25年了
I've been putting up with you for 25 years.
你忍♥受我 - 这么简单的数学你都不会算吗
You have put up with me? - Why can't you do simple math?
要搬家咯
It's moving day!
我要搬去跟杰克森住咯 搬家咯
I'm moving in with Jackson! It's moving day!
我要搬去跟杰克森住咯
I'm moving in with Jackson!
我最亲爱的弟弟在这儿啊
Ah, there's my favorite little brother.
没有冒犯你的意思 小秃子
Oh, no offense, baldy.
麦克斯 你是聪明的孩子 是吧
You're a smart kid, right?
别人都夸我年纪小智商高呢
I've been told I'm very bright for my age.
所以你应该明白我们俩住一个房♥间的话
Well, then you understand that you and me in the same room,
是不可能的吧
it's never going to work.
但是妈妈说住在一起会更亲近
But Mom said living together would bring us closer.
妈妈都是骗子
Moms lie.
想象一下 在我的房♥间里 你就会归我管
Consider this... in my room, I'm in charge of you,
但是在这间房♥间 你就可以管汤米了
but in this room, you are in charge of Tommy.
你不想成为掌控大局的那个人吗 - 当然想
Don't you want to be The Man? - Of course I do.
从我还是个婴儿的时候就想了
I've wanted to be The Man ever since I was The Baby.
那问题就解决了 你就住这间 碰个拳
Well, then it's settled. You're staying here. Knuckles.
那是什么味道
What is that nastiness?
我什么也没闻到啊 - 是汤米的尿布
Um, uh, I don't smell a thing. - It's Tommy's diaper!
我才不要住这间臭屋子
No way am I living in this stinkatorium!
谢谢你啊 我就快成功了 就差一点点
Thanks a lot, kid. I was this close. This close.
我想要回我的房♥间
I want my room back.
别这样 搬过来是我妈的主意 咱俩都是受害者
Jaxito, moving here was my mom's idea, not mine. So we're both victims.
不过我是有自己房♥间的受害者
I'm just the victim with the private bedroom.
你有没有看过这里的景色
And have you seen the city view?
有 我之前住这里啊
Uh, yeah. I used to live here.
你好啊 杰克森
Oh, hey, Jackson.
你好 小芬阿姨
Oh, hey, Aunt Steph.
现在有个千载难逢的机会
Here's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
想象下和你可爱的外甥麦克斯住在同一个房♥间的喜悦
Imagine the thrill of sharing a room with your adorable nephew, Max.
我在想 好吗
I'm imagining it, okay?
现在 你想象下我说“不 谢谢”
Now you imagine me saying, "No, thank you."
你们好
Hey, now.
你不是开车去LA了吗
Hey. Aren't you driving down to LA with your stuff?
贝姬不是在那儿等着你吗
Isn't Becky waiting for you down there?
她在 只是我忘了拿上我的幸运吉他 普里西拉
Yeah, she is but I forgot my lucky guitar, Priscilla.
我把它放在这以防忘了它 但我还是忘了
I left it here so I wouldn't forget it, but forgot.
我开始觉得这把吉他太不吉利了
I'm starting to think this guitar is not so lucky.
杰西叔叔 你要帮帮我啊
Uncle Jesse, you've got to help me.
他们想让我跟一个七岁小孩住一个房♥间
They want me to share a room with a seven-year-old.
我知道怎么解决 你跟麦克斯抱抱就好了
I've got the fix. You and Max, go hug it out.
我们已经抱过了 我刚刚才摆脱他
We already did that. I just got him off of me.
在我们那个时代 抱一下问题就解决了
Well, you know, we used to hug it out every day in the '80s.
有时候那感觉太棒了 你甚至可以听到小提琴音乐
Sometimes it was so sweet, you could hear violin music.
杰西叔叔 交给我吧 - 你有鸡肉吗
Uncle Jesse? I got this. - You got chicken?
我们有 - 那你来吧
We got chicken. - You got this.
杰克森 我五岁的时候我爸逼我搬去跟迪杰一起住
Jackson, when I was five, my dad forced me to move in with D.J.,
然后他把房♥间给了杰西舅舅
and then he gave my bedroom to Uncle Jesse.
我搬进去的时候就是四面墙和女孩子的粉红兔子玩具
But when I lived there it was wall-to-wall with girly pink bunnies.
这就解释了我为什么喜欢剧院的原因了
You know, that could explain my love for the theatre.
您继续 - 谢谢
Proceed. - Thank you.
当时迪杰很生气 就搬到车♥库♥去住了 当然之后被逮着了
Anyway, D.J. was furious so she moved down to the garage. Of course, she got caught.
如果她想要自己的房♥间的话她就应该搬出去 自己租一间公♥寓♥
If she wanted her own room, she should have run away, rented an apartment.
有用吗 - 我觉得也没用
Would that have worked? - I doubt it.
十岁的小孩哪有什么信用
At age ten, her credit score was really low.
但是结果还好啊
But it all turned out fine
因为迪杰意识到跟我住一起是多么幸运的事情啊
because D.J. realized how lucky she was to live with me.
得到教训了吗
Do you get the lesson here?
我现在就去楼上跟麦克斯好好相处
You know what? I do. I'm going to go upstairs right now and bond with Max.
谢谢了 各位
Thanks, guys.
小芬 你的第一次阿姨训话 超级棒
Steph, you know, for your first aunt talk, I think you crushed it.
是吧 - 最好是
I did, didn't I? - You'd better.
我已经 跟你训过上千次话了 不过你总是忘了最重要的三个字
I gave you, like, 1,000 uncle talks,except you forgot two important words.
“要宽容”
"Have mercy."
不 是“太粗鲁”了
No. "How rude."
好吧 杰西这就走喽
All right, Jesse has left the building.
但首先 杰西要先去尿一下
But first, Jesse has to pee.
换尿布很简单 只需拿下来 擦干净 换上去
Diaper changing is simple. Just remove, refresh and replace.
然后等汤米装满
Then wait for Tommy to reload.
我的朋友现在在圣莫里茨滑雪 而我却在这里换尿布
My friends are skiing in St. Moritz right now, and I'm here changing diapers.
自♥拍♥一个
Selfie.
他们一定会很嫉妒
They're going to be so jealous.
好吧 我们开工吧
Okay, let's do this.
等等 我还没准备好
Wait. I'm not ready.
把海妖释放出来吧
Unleash the Kraken!
好吧 来吧
All right. Here we go.
知道吗 米歇尔长大以后我就没干过这活了
You know, I haven't done this since Michelle was a baby.
我给她换过太多次尿布 都觉得她应该是有个分身
I changed so many of Michelle's diapers, I feel like there were two of her.
到了比较棘手的部分 小心他的小水管
Here comes the tricky part.Watch out for the fire hose!
是的
Yes.
咚 完美谢幕
Huh... Boom! Drop the mic.
不是我
Not me.
你好
Hello?
斯蒂芬妮吗 - 唔 小迪
Stephanie? - Um, Deej...
嘿 怎么啦 - 我就是打电♥话♥问问
Hey. What's up? - I'm just checking in.
你们跟汤米处的怎么样了 - 我们相当亲近呢
How is it going with Tommy? - We've never been closer.
那是什么声音
What was that?
噢 你懂的 我在玩愤怒的小鸟
Oh, you know, I'm playing Angry Birds
我刚射了一只鸭子
and I just shot a duck.
愤怒的小鸟里面有鸭子吗
There's a duck in Angry Birds?
也可能是一只鹅
It might have been a goose.
噢 听着 我要接一个非常重要的电♥话♥
Oh, look,I'm getting a really important phone call.
谁给你打的 - 不确定 可能是别人按错了
From who? - Not sure. It might be a butt dial.
好的 拜小迪
Okay, bye, Deej.
脑子转的真快
Quick thinking.
好啦 我要走了
Well, gotta go.
我也是
Me, too.
祝拿回手♥机♥玩的开心
Have fun getting that phone back.
这歌♥真赞 我可以听上一千次 说到做到
That song is so good, I could listen to it a thousand times, and I think I will.
Siri 给贝姬打电♥话♥
Siri, call Becky.
请在哔一声之后留言
Please leave your message after the tone.