初来乍到（2015）

Fresh Off the Boat S04E11

Part 2 July 4, 2022, 1:23 p.m.

You diffused that whole situation.
蜜儿掌控者是不会被人掌控的
Well, no one can control the controller, Honey.
我就像是一个全世♥界♥通♥用的遥控器
I'm like a universal remote.
你讨厌哪个频道我就静音哪个频道
I mute any TV you point me at.
好了
All right, well,
我最好现在就去趟商店买♥♥只烤鸡
I better run to the store and pick up a roast chicken.
我妈一睁眼就喜欢撕烤鸡吃
My mom likes to tear into a bird when she wakes up.
刚刚那送行的场面可真是惨烈啊
Well, that was one hell of a send-off, huh?
我从关岛退役的时候这些人都哪去了?
Where were those people when I pushed off for Guam?
我还从来没参加过
You know, I've never been
全免费的旅行呢
on an all-inclusive vacation before.
我要开始尽情享受了
I'm gonna take advantage of everything on this ship
一分钱不花
and not spend a dime.
听起来你好像是要大干一场啊哥们儿
Sounds like you're gonna go all out, huh, buddy?
或者可以说满舵前进？
Or am I going... full steam ahead?
在一艘客轮上?
On a passenger vessel?
还是算了吧
Dear God, I hope not.
我在我的宝贝痘旁边画了个圈
I drew a circle around it
看看它是不是在长大
to see if my baby bump's getting bigger.
现在变硬了你想摸一下吗
It's firmer. You want to feel?
还是算了
I'm good.
跟新妹子相处的怎么样啊
How'd it go with the new girl?
她想跟我一起吃午饭
She wants to eat lunch together.
也许只是蜻蜓怀孕那件事中
Maybe it's just the hormones
的荷尔蒙影响了你
from the dragonfly pregnancy talking,
但是我真心为你高兴埃迪
but I'm really happy for you, Eddie.
我不太确定她到底喜不喜欢我
I don't know. I can't tell if she likes me.
那就来个“苏打测试”吧
Just give her the "Soda test."
先打开一瓶苏打喝一口然后也让她喝一口
Crack open a can, take a sip, and offer her some.
如果她直接喝而不是隔了老远倒的话
If she goes lip-to-can instead of pouring it from above...
那她绝对就是喜欢你了
Then she definitely likes you.
喝吗？
Sip?
好吧
Okay.
你听说过"合睡"吗？
Have you heard of this new thing called "Co-sleeping"
就是宝宝跟你睡一张床?
where the baby sleeps in bed with you?
太搞笑了吧
Ridiculous.
我用同一张婴儿床
You know, I used the same crib
养大了我三个孩子呢无一例外
for all three of my boys -- no successful escapes.
怎么了?
What's going on?
亲爱的杰西卡跟我在闲聊呢
Oh, hi, dear. Jessica and I are just chatting.
我听见有尖叫声于是就回来看看
I came back over because I heard screaming.
我找不到毛巾了
I couldn't find the towels.
毛巾在壁橱里啊
They're in the linen closet.
反正我跟杰西卡就这样开始聊天了
Anyway, Jessica and I started talking,
而且分享了很多育儿哲学
and we share many of the same philosophies.
就像房♥间里的宝宝保护装置简直没一点道理
Like baby-proofing the house -- It's nonsense.
孩子碰到脚趾他感觉到疼以后就知道不能再碰了
Your kids stubs their toe, they feel pain, they learn.
蜜儿小时候被壁炉烧到三次呢
Honey burned herself in the fireplace three times.
我跟她爸不同意把壁炉挡起来然后她就学会不再靠近了
We refused to put up a screen. She learned.
就是这样
Yes! Yes!
总算有人说出来了
It's about time someone said it.
谢谢你费伊
Thank you, Fay.
别
Oh, please.
请称呼我圣克莱尔夫人
Call me Mrs. St. Claire.
杰西卡儿童房♥借一步说话?
Jessica, a word in the nursery?
我还没开始喷漆呢
I haven't painted it yet.
知道了
Okay.
你应该站在我这一边啊
You're supposed to be on my side.
你说过会支持我的
You said you'd support me.
你说的对我太抱歉了
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
我突然被赋予了强烈的批评能量
I'm just drawn to a strong critical energy.
这我承认
I will admit that.
好吧现在我们需要回到客厅
Okay, well, we need to go back out there
表现出坚定的决心
and present a united mothering front.
绝对的
Absolutely.
不管你想做什么我都听你的
Whatever you want, I'll follow you're lead.
蜜儿这是什么?我刚随便翻了翻
Honey, what is this? I went rummaging.
这是我要跟杰西卡一起去上的育儿培训班
It's a parenting class Jessica and I are going to.
"威廉敏娜佩吉儿童智者"?
"Wilhelmina Page, Child Sage"?
宝宝不应该玩电♥话♥啊太鲁莽了
Babies shouldn't play with phones. It's reckless.
如果他拨911怎么办啊
It's reckless. What if it called 911?
那应该给他颁一个麦克阿瑟奖
Well, then it should be given a MacArthur Grant
这个年龄段的孩子
because at that stage of development,
能打911的绝对是个天才
it would be a genius --
天才英雄宝宝
a genius hero baby.
佩吉的方法是让宝宝自己
The Page Method is about letting the baby
告诉你他需要什么
tell you what it needs.
宝宝不会讲话
Babies can't talk.
宝宝主导的育儿方法只是
This baby-led parenting just means
让他随心所欲
letting the child do whatever it wants
而且每次哭的时候都要满足他
and catering to it every time it cries.
哭证明他肯定需要些什么啊
Crying means it needs something.
是吧杰西卡?
Right, Jessica?
是的
Yes.
嗯...
Mm-hmm.
这种课吧
That class...
真的很值得花时间去
seems like a great use of time.
那我可以一起去吗?
Can I come, then?
你也想去吗?
Y-You want to come?
嗯我几乎把所有值得翻的东西
Well, I've rummaged through
都翻个遍了
everything worth rummaging through.
我就坐在后边
I'll just sit in the back,
翻翻杂♥志♥ 磨合磨合新鞋子
reading my Forbes, breaking in my new boat shoes.
我约了凯伦在图书馆见面
I'm meeting Karen at the library,
然后我们打算去她家玩
then we're going to her house and chill.
停!
Halt!
埃迪我有个坏消息
Eddie, I have bad news.
作为安全巡查队的一员
As a member of the Safety Patrol,
刚刚我在帮凯伦修她的储物柜时
I was helping Karen set up her locker,
看到了她跟她前男友
and I saw a picture of her and her ex-boyfriend
在学校舞会上的照片
from a school dance.
他是个亚洲人
He's Asian.
所以呢?
So?
所以她并不是从我们中看上了你
So, she didn't pick you over us.
她只是为了满足某种癖好
She's just got a "Thing."
她喜欢你就是因为你是亚洲人
She's only into you because you're Asian.
作为一个老是被拒绝的红头发
As a ginger who's been repeatedly objectified,
我可不想让你误入歧途
you don't want to go down this road.
现在一切看起来都有道理了
Now it makes sense.
她一眼都没看我
She didn't even look my way.
通常至少会看我一眼的
I usually get at least one glance,
即使是瞪我的
even if it's defensive.
她储物柜里还有一张她喜欢的吉他手的照片
She also has a picture up of her favorite guitarist.
亨德里克斯？
Hendrix?
井叶吉伸
Iha -- James Iha,
碎南瓜乐队的金发亚洲吉他手
the blond Asian guitarist from The Smashing Pumpkins.
算了吧
Nah, man.
她选我只是因为觉得我很酷
She picked me because she has a preference for dope G's.
你们只是嫉妒我吧
You guys are just jealous.
我会证明的
I'll prove it.
17点你赢了
17. Winner.
路易斯你到底玩不玩?
Come on, Lou, you gonna play or what?
我就看看
Oh, just watching.
这次旅行我一分钱都不会花的
I'm not spending any money on this trip.
在自助餐那儿你吃了多少牛肋排？
How many servings of prime rib have you had at the buffet?
四块吧
Mm...four.
每块市价19.99刀呢
Okay, at market value of $19.99 each,
你已经吃了80刀了
you're already up 80 bucks.
你说的对
You know what? You're right.
我现在就要拿老本下注了
I'm playing with house money right now.
我停牌