呆逼还愿人（2014）

This and this worries me.
这里和这里都让我好担心喔
It's October outside. It's freezing cold.
已经是十月份了 外面冷得要死
I can't have my assistant getting sick.
我可不能让我的助理生病了
You know what? You're going to have to wear mine.
你知道吗?你得换上我的
See? This is so much better.
看见了吗?这样好多了
I look amazing.
我看着可真好看
And you still look sexy.
而你看起来也很性感嘛
Yeah, actually, I kind of do,
是啊 事实上 我有点
just in like a masculine kind of way.
看上去走男装风
So here's the backstory.
这就是背景
I am a sexy, heroic firefighter,
我是个又性感又英勇的消防员
and you are a burn victim. I don't get it.
而你是被烧伤的患者 我不明白
Wasn't the whole point of a fireman costume
一套消防员服装的全部精髓
to justify the fire extinguishers?
不就是灭火器吗?
You know, the ones we'll need in order to put out any fires
你知道 就是那些我们需要的那些
at the parade?
游♥行♥上能灭各种火的人?
The plan is constantly evolving, Sue.
计划正在展开 小苏
It's alive. It's fluid.
充满生气又灵活
Try and keep up, okay?
尽量跟上点 好吗?
Trick or treat.
不给糖就捣蛋
Well, it's about time.
好吧 时间快到了
Miss White, are you sure it's wise to be on drugs
白小姐 你觉得在这次行动中
during this operation?
嗑药是明智的选择么?
These are just a little something to help me focus.
这些只是可以帮我集中精力的小东东
What are you looking at, you little demon?
你在看什么呢 小恶魔?
Out.
出去
Now pull the car around.
现在叫辆车
We don't want to be late.
我们可别晚了
I love Halloween.
我可真喜欢万圣节
Sugar? Hmm.
糖? 嗯
The finer things, huh?
都是小事 哈?
There we go.
好了
Ooh, uh, how about a scone?
喔 呃 来个小面包怎么样?
I only got one, but I thought maybe we could split it.
我只有一个 不过我想我们可以把它切开
Let me get my steak knife.
我去拿牛排刀
I call her steak knively.
我一般都叫她牛排刀刀子
Uh, I'm just gonna cut it in half.
呃 我只需要切两半
Oh, it's a little hard. Not stale.
噢 有点费劲 不怎么新鲜了
These day-olds are just a little cheaper.
这些濒临过期的东西会比较便宜
And, uh, they taste the same
不过 呃 如果你放微波炉里打个15秒
if you microwave them for about 15 seconds.
他们吃起来都一样的
Look, I can't... I can't do this.
你瞧 我没法...我没法这么做下去了
This is a two-way street, okay? You got to communicate with me.
谈话得是双向的的 好吗? 你得跟我交流
I can't help you if you don't tell me what you want.
如果你不告诉我你想要什么我是没办法帮你的
Come on, man. Help me out here.
拜托了 你得帮着我
I need that mirror
我需要那面镜子
so I can impress Bloody Mary.
这样我就能打动血腥玛丽了
She only comes out on Halloween,
她只在万圣节出来
and sweet baby Lucifer,Halloween is almost over.
还有那个甜甜小宝贝路西法 万圣节都快结束了
So just tell me.
所以 告诉我把
You want a psychic reading?
想看通灵书?
No, that's Camomile White.
不 那是白菊花 怀特
She is a super-psycho hot b-i-t-c-h
她是个超级性感的蛇精病 珀-石-氵-也
that I dated for a while.
我们还约过一阵子
And I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
我实在是不想再谈起来了
So why don't you just mind your own business
所以你为什么不专心想想你自己的事
and drink your chamomile tea white now.
然后喝点你的白菊花茶呢
What are you doing?
你在干嘛?
No. No.
不 不
You're my nightmare.
你真是我的噩梦
Let me get my cleaning supplies.
我去拿些清洁用品
Why did I have to make imaginary black tea?
我为啥要做那些幻想出来的红茶呢?
You're all hopped up and acting crazy.
你真是作疯了
So... Amber?
那么...安布尔?
Steak knively?
牛排刀刀子?
What up, Tyson? How we doing tonight?
怎么 泰森?我们今晚干嘛?
Yo, what up?
哟 怎么了?
Hey, Roofie, it's me, man.
嘿 撸夫 是我
I'm freaking out. I'm in crisis zone here. I lost my ghost.
我要疯了 我这有点事 我把我的鬼弄丢了
And she's an evil little demon baby.
她是个邪恶的鬼小孩
She got steak knively with her,and she means to do great harm.
她把牛排刀刀子带走了 她现在是恶贯满盈
Calm down, calm down. Where was the last place you seen her?
冷静点 冷静点 你上次见到她是在哪?
She was here. We were having a lovely tea party on the floor.
她刚才在我家 我们正在地上开一个美好的茶话会
All right, what was she doing?
好吧 她当时在干吗?
Uh, she was looking at this magazine here.
呃 她当时在看这本杂♥志♥
Oh, my word.
噢 我去
Roofie, where do you think Camomile White is right now?
撸夫 你觉得白菊花现在在哪?
Look, how the hell am I supposed to know where Camomile White is
听着 我要怎么知道万圣节上
on Halloween?
白菊花在哪啊?
Come on, man. That's like asking
拜托 伙计 这跟你问
where kid rock is on the 4th of July. I don't know.
国♥庆♥节上基德 洛克在哪有什么不一样啊 我不知道
Pick a Hooters.
报个警咯
I'm serious.
我很严肃的
Hey, Roof. What up, what up?
嘿 小撸 怎么了 怎么了?
I think I know
我想我知道
where that Camomile White bitch is right now.
白菊花小碧池现在在哪
You deep in this, aren't you?
你早知道 是不是?
This is absolute madness! It's not working!
这真是彻头彻尾的疯狂!是没用的!
Maybe we should split up!
也许我们应该分开!
We should split up!
我们应该分开!
You go that way and I'll go this way.
你走那边 我走这边
Keep phone on!
保持联♥系♥!
Oh! Hey, hey, hey.
噢!嘿 嘿 嘿
Give me this. Give... give me that.
把这个给我 把...把那个给我
What is this? What are you, kidding me with this?
这是干嘛?你在拿这个跟我开玩笑吗?
You can't just wander around decapitating people willy-nilly.
你不能来回溜达然后犹犹豫豫地砍别人脑袋
That's not what you do. Bad!
你不该这么做 这么做很不好!
Bad ghost child.
不好的鬼小孩
Who taught you how to carry a sharp knife anyway, huh?
谁教的你怎么拿着个锋利的刀子?
You don't just carry it down like this.
你不能就这样拿
You carry it with the blade up. That way if you fall,
你刀刃向上拿着的话 你万一摔倒了
you kill yourself instantly.
你就会立刻杀了自己的
Common sense. God.
这是常识 老天
And since we're getting to know
既然我们这么了解
steak knively so well anyway...
牛排刀刀子
flip her upside down.
把她反过来拿
Lighter-meiser.
打个火
You. What the hell are you doing here?
你 你在这做什么?
Nothing.
没什么
Uh, just... oh, my fingertips are, like, freezing.
呃 就是...噢 我的手指要冻僵了
Oh, my God.
噢 我的天
It was you. What?
是你 什么?
I should have known. You should have known what?
我早该知道的 你早该知道什么?
You were going to come to the parade and set yourself on fire
你要去游♥行♥上把自己点了
just to make me look bad. No.
只是为了让我丢脸 不是
Madam, I assure you I hatched no such scheme.
女士 我向你保证我绝对没有这种计划
Right. I'm phoning the police.
好吧 我要报♥警♥
Don't phone the police.
别报♥警♥啊
Don't call the cops. It... it was me.
别报♥警♥ 是...是我
What?
什么?
I was the caller on the talk show.
我就是访谈上那个人
I had never been to the Greenwich Village parade before.
我之前从没有去过格林威治山村游♥行♥
I've always wanted to go, but you always made me stay home
我一直想去 但是你一直让我呆在家里
so you could watch me eat candy.
这样你就能看着我吃糖
You are going to eat so much candy right now.
现在你得吃一大堆糖了
And you're going to swallow all of it.
你要把那些糖都给我吞下去
Oh, my God. I'm so turned on right now.
噢 我的天 我现在好兴奋
Why did you... why did you just save me like that?
你为什么...你刚才为什么那么做?
Come on, Sue! Right bloody now!
快点 小苏!快他妈点!
I have to go.
我得走了