呆逼还愿人（2014）

No, you stabbed me in the back.
不 你才在我背后捅了一刀
You stabbed me in the back. You betrayed me.
你在背后捅我刀子 你背叛了我
The whole drunk at the bar. That was just a big,
在酒吧那次大醉 其实只是一个
elaborate ruse so you could go tell Camomile
精心策划的大阴谋罢了 你只是想去告诉菊花
about the subway job.
关于地铁工作的事
No, I know it looks bad, but it wasn't a set-up.
不 我知道那很糟糕 但真的不是什么阴谋
Ah, I don't believe you.
噢 我不相信你
Please, Kevin, that night we had,
相信我 凯文 那天晚上的事
it was real, I swear. But when I got home,
确实是真的 我发誓 但我回家时
Camomile was waiting for me.
菊花在等我
And she forced it out of me. You know how scary she can be.
她逼我说的 你知道她这个人可以变得多可怕
I tried to cover, but...
我不想说的 但是...
I'm sorry.
对不起
I ruined everything for us.
我们间的一切全被我毁了
I shouldn't have asked, I'll just be a ghost forever.
我不该问的 我还是安心当我的孤魂野鬼吧
You don't ruin everything.
你没有毁了一切
It's just, like uh!
只是 就是 哎!
You know? What are you asking me for, what do you need?
你说吧 你想让我♥干♥什么 你需要什么
My body is still in the tunnel.
我的遗体还在隧♥道♥里
I can't move into my light until my body is buried at sea.
只有把我的遗体葬在大海里 我才能转世
Your body's buried at sea? Isn't it...
葬在大海里? 不是要...
No, doesn't matter. That's fine.
不 那没关系 没问题
I'll do it. I'll help you.
我会去的 我会帮你的
Really? As long as you leave me alone.
真的吗 只要你离我远点
Okay, just leave me alone.
行不 离我远点
I can't deal with any more emotions today.
我今天再经不起任何情绪波动了
I'm getting emotion sickness.
再波动下去我都要暴走了
Okay.
好吧
You smell really bad.
你闻起来真不咋地
I-I really wish I didn't eat that
我-我真希望之前没吃
pulled pork sandwich earlier. Unh...
那个手撕猪肉三明治 呃...
I think we should probably hurry.
我觉得我们得快点
What... Oh. You know what, Sue?
什么... 哦 你知道吗 小苏?
I'm not afraid of this "monster" you're talking about, okay?
我一点也不怕你说的那个"怪物" 好吧?
I've seen just about everything there is to see in this world.
这世上多么千奇百怪的东西我都看过了
No, it's just you're picking up body parts
不是 只是你现在在捡这些残骸
and if someone walked in, it wouldn't look so good.
万一有人进来 看起来不太好
Oh, right.
哦 好吧
Yeah, point taken.
好 懂了
God, you're everywhere.
哎 你怎么碎的到处都是
Mm. I'm sorry I didn't die in a more convenient way.
呃 不好意思我应该死的方便你捡一点的
It doesn't even matter, honestly.
其实也没什么 我说真的
Why? Because, this is my last job.
为什么 因为 这是我最后一份工作了
After the Camomile ridicule session down here,
在菊花的胡言乱语系列出版后
I decided I'm giving up the ghost.
我就决定不再理鬼魂的事了
What do you mean?
什么意思
It's a figment of speech, Sue. It means to quit, okay?
就是差不多算离职演讲了 我不干了 行吗
You can't quit. Yes, I can.
你不能不干 能 我能
What about all those ghosts out there?
那些鬼怎么办
That's not my problem. Kevin, these are tortured souls
关我什么事 凯文 这些灵魂都
with no one to turn to.
孤苦无依
You're the only one who can help them.
你是唯一可以帮助他们的人
I don't want to get into it, okay, Sue?
我不想管了 懂了吗 小苏?
You should just be counting your stars lucky
你应该庆幸
that I'm even helping you, all right?
至少我还肯帮你 好不?
Uh...
嗯
Oh, my God, look. I think that's it.
天呐 看 我猜是它
That's it?
这就是它?
Run! De-materialize! Go! Oh, oh crap!
跑! 快消失! 走开! 哦 哦 我滴娘啊!
Ah, what the hell was that?
那到底是个什么东西?
I have no idea. What, wait...
不知道 什么 等等...
How do you not know? How I not know what?
你怎么会不知道? 我不知道什么?
No, uh, sorry, sir. Not-not talking to you. Sorry.
不 额 抱歉 先生 不是跟你说话 抱歉
How-how did you not see it?
怎么 你怎么会没看见?
I freaked out, give me a break. I only died yesterday.
我吓傻了 饶了我吧 我昨天才刚死的
I know that your instincts
我知道你的内心
are still human, but you're not human anymore, okay?
还是人类 但你不再是人类了 知道吗?
You barely even exist!
你甚至都不存在!
Hey, buddy, I only try to do my job.
嘿 老兄 我只是想好好开个车而已
Yeah, I'm sorry, again. Not addressing you.
呃 再次抱歉 不是在说你
Look, Mmmikh-Mikkhaa...
听 迈迈克哈-迈克哈...
it says Michael. That doesn't say Michael.
读迈克尔 不念迈克尔
The h is silent.
h 不发音
Michael.
迈克尔
Yeah.
对
See what I did there?
看我刚刚做了什么
I guess chivalry is not dead.
看来骑士精神还是一息尚存的
No, no. Just you. Ha, ha.
不 不 只是你 哈哈
Too soon? Little bit?
咱俩进展有点太快了吗
It's never too soon for that joke.
什么时候开那个玩笑都不嫌早
Hey, ah, before we go any farther,
嘿 呃 在我们进行下一步之前
can I just ask you, what's with the burial at sea?
我能问问你 为什么要葬在海里吗
It just seems like, ew.
看起来有点 噁
Uh, I don't know, it's kinda private.
额 我不知道 这算是挺私人的事情吧
Uh, Sue,
噢 小苏
I just picked up pieces of your lady flower
我刚刚还把你的私处
off the floor of a subway tunnel.
从地铁隧♥道♥你捡起来呢
Try me. Okay.
告诉我吧 好吧
When I was a kid, I used to get picked on at school.
当我还小的时候 在学校经常被欺负
So when I came home
所以回家后
I would get in the bathtub and go underwater.
我就会爬进浴缸 全身都潜在水里
'cause underwater, no one can see you cry.
因为潜在水里的话 就没人知道你在哭了
Well, that would've been nice to know at the orphanage.
好吧 这方法在孤儿院应该很好用
Well...
呃...
Don't you worry, Sue.
没担心 小苏
We'll get you back to that watery comfort zone asap, okay?
我们现在就把你送回水下的安全区 好吗
Okay.
好
Now, you have the bag?
那 袋子呢
The bag?
袋子?
The cab! Oh, no! Michael!
在车上! 哦 不! 迈克尔!
I believe I may have left my bag in one of your cars.
我确定把我的袋子落在你们的某一辆车上了
Could you describe it a little more please?
你能描述得更详细一点吗
Uh, it's like a tote-slash-duffel bag.
额 是一个手提粗呢包
Brown leather, supple,
棕色皮 软革
smells like a boot. It's a genuine Gucci knockoff.
闻起来跟靴子一样 是古奇包的仿品
Oh, also, I just remembered, it's probably
哦 还有 我记得 可能
sopping wet with, like, a blood-colored liquid.
摸起来有点湿 有点 血红色的液体
We just had a bag matching that description
我们的确有一个符合你描述的包
that was actually just turned in.
正好刚刚发现的
You did? Yeah, that's mine.
是吗 对了 那就是我的
Tch.
呲
Sir, would you mind describing to me the contents of the bag?
先生 拜托描述一下包里的装了什么好吗
Contents?
装了什么
Do I... do I even need the bag?
难道我 我需要这个包吗
I didn't really like this bag.
我根本都不喜欢这个包
Please, Kevin. I'll be a ghost forever.
拜托了 凯文 不然我永远都是孤魂野鬼了
Yeah, yeah... Piece of cake.
好吧 好啦 小菜一碟
Uh, there are some
呃 里面有些
lady's... pieces... there.
女性的 东西
Garments?
衣服吗
Uh, yeah, sure, those too.
呃 是的 也有衣服啦
But mostly, though, uh...
但是主要还是 呃
women's... parts?
女性的 部位吧
Like the body parts of a young woman?
像是年轻女性的部分身体什么的
Sorry,
不好意思
I'm gonna need you to be a little more specific.
你还是稍微具体点儿吧
Okay, so... limbs.
好的 比如四肢啊
Pretty standard. Limbs. Dainty but, uh, scrappy.
标准体格的四肢 有点娇小 呃 四分五裂了
You know, like good for hugging.
你懂的 抱起来挺舒服的那种
There's a torso in there. It's petite, yet womanly.
里面还有躯干啊 也很小巧 但是有女人味