呆逼还愿人（2014）

Find it, Kevin. Find whoever has my stomach.
找到它 凯文 找到移植了我胃的那个人
And make them enter that hot dog-eating contest.
然后让他参加吃热狗大赛
Hey, did the nurse text you the address yet?
嘿 那个护士给你发地址了么?
No, man.
没有 哥们
Look, I'm gonna tell you when she text me.
听着 她给我发信息的时候我会告诉你的
Why'd you give her my number anyway?
为啥你把我的号♥码给她了啊?
Because she needs to get permission
因为她需要得到玉胜胃的
from Tomagachi's stomach recipient
受捐者的许可才能安排
to set up a meeting.
一次会面
I'm saying, why did you give the nurse my number?
我的意思是 你为什么给她我的电♥话♥号♥码?
You should give her your number .I don't have a number anymore.
你应该给她你的号♥码 我没有电♥话♥号♥码了
They shut off my cell phone weeks ago.
几周前我的手♥机♥就欠费停机了
Yeah, I've been living off the grid, untrack-able.
是啊 我已经不在系统内了 无迹可寻了
I'm a free man.
我是个自♥由♥的人了
It's not by choice.
你这是别无选择了吧
Excuse me, hey, bro, it'd be good right here.
等等 嘿 哥们 就停在那里刚好
All right, let's be cool here, this client buys a lot of weed.
好吧 我们先说清楚 这个客户买♥♥了很多大♥麻♥
Yo.
哟
Yeah, you know, I'm like eyes in the sky. I hate that.
是啊 你懂的 我就像侦查卫星 我讨厌那种感觉
Don't you hate that? Yeah.
你不讨厌么? 讨厌啊
Right?
真的么?
What is that?
那是个啥?
I call that onexa0Spurious Accusations and Lies.
我管那个叫虚假的指控与谎言
I would have called itxa0Tiny Tower of Teeth.
我会管那个叫牙齿堆成的小塔
Or The Leaning Tower of Teeth-a.
或者齿萨斜塔
So what were you, like, a dentist or something?
所以你曾经是干嘛的 像是牙医或者别的什么工作?
I was an avant-garde-ist.
我曾是一个先锋
And I put myself, literally,
并且我差不多把我的身体 真的是身体哦
into every piece of work I ever made.
放在了我所做过的所有作品中
Blood, sweat, jism diluted with tears of happiness.
血液 汗液 用欢乐的泪水稀释的精♥液♥
That's jiz?
那是精♥液♥?
That one's a mixed-media collage
那个是由用性伤口的脓水
of pubic hair glued together with pus from a sex wound.
粘在一起的阴毛混合拼贴出来的作品
And that there, my masterpiece.
那边那个 是我的杰作
For my swan song,
作为我最后的作品
I hung myself upside-down
我把我自己倒挂起来
and exploded myself on a blank canvas.
然后引爆在一个空白的帆布上
But those imbeciles have hung it upside-down.
但是那些傻瓜却把它挂反了
Yo.
哟
The nurse texted me the address. Oh, good.
那个护士把地址发给我了 哦 太好了
Guess who's gonna be here Saturday night.
猜猜这个周六晚上谁会来
James McAvoy?
詹姆斯 麦克沃伊?
I don't know. Who?
我不知道 到底是谁啊?
No. Camomile White.
不是 是白菊花
Yes, she's doing, like, a séance.
是啊 她会做 额 一场与
Channeling the spirit of Vesuvius,
维苏威的灵魂相通的降神会
whatever his name is.
管他叫什么呢
The guy who did all this pretentious ass-nice art.
就是那个完成了所有这些狂妄的真♥他♥妈♥赞的艺术品的哥们
Vesuvius.
维苏威
You should go meet her.
你应该去见见她
You know what, I think that ship has sank.
你知道么 我觉得这个行不通
I went to that book signing thing.
我去了那场签售会
And she can't see ghosts at all.
但是她根本就看不到鬼魂
She's a total fake. What?
她就是个彻头彻尾的骗子 神马?
Yeah. Fake?
是的 骗子?
Yeah.
没错
Hey, man, just hope her titties isn't fake.
嘿 哥们 只希望她的奶♥子♥不是假的
No, I don't know.
不 这我可不知道
Hard to tell when I was throwing up all over them.
我把她吐了一身所以也看不出什么是真什么是假了
I wrecked her Soixante pantsuit.
我毁了她的Soixante长裤套装
Now she's sticking me with this $25 dry-cleaning bill.
现在她就用这张25刀的干洗账单为难我
That's the bill you told me about? Yeah.
那就是你之前提过的那个账单? 是的
That's the bill? Twentyfive dollars? Yeah.
就是那个账单? 25刀? 没有错
Come on, man, Camomile White don't need your $25, she's rich.
得了吧 哥们 白菊花才不需要你那25刀呢 她老富了
She's power-moving you, man.
她是在给你施压啊 哥们
She's what? Powerplaying.
她在干吗? 操纵你
She's trying to assert her dominance, that's all.
她在维护自己的主♥权♥ 仅此而已
I don't like it when people do that. Yeah.
我可不喜欢有人这么做 是啊
Power-play me.
操纵我
You know what?
你知道么?
She try to muscle me with a dry-cleaning bill?
她试图用一个干洗账单来为难我?
Wait until she sees what my counter-move is.
让她等着看我的反击吧
And what move would that be?
那么你要怎么做呢?
It's the least expected move there is.
现在只剩下我最不想做的了
I'm gonna pay that bill.
我会准时的
On time.
全额支付
In full.
那个账单
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a stomach to track down.
现在 如果你不介意的话 还有个胃等着我追踪呢
I'm here about the stomach.
我是为了那个胃来这里的
You're the guy. Yeah, I'm the guy.
你就是那个人 是的 我就是那个人
Menachem. Sit down, sit down.
我是莫纳科姆 坐下吧 坐下
I didn't know what kind of bagel you'd want.
我不知道你想点哪种面包圈
So I didn't get you any.
所以我没给你点
Oh, can I settle on this? Don't touch these bagels.
哦 我能吃点这个么? 憋碰那些面包圈
Oh, since we're just sitting here,
哦 既然我们都做在这里了
why don't I tell you a story?
为什么不让我告诉你个故事呢?
Every ghost needs closure
所有的鬼魂都需要终结
and that's the whole reason he's still here.
并且这就是他还在这里游荡的原因
It's an amazing story.
真是个惊奇的故事
And it definitely explains this appetite.
并且这也解释了我为什么胃口这么大
I didn't even know you could receive stomach transplants.
我甚至都不知道可以做胃部移植
Listen to me, I'm very appreciative of this stomach.
听我说 我非常感激能有这个胃
But this Oinky's hot dog eating competition,
但是这个奥基热狗邀请赛
that I can't do.
我不能参加
Oh, you don't have to do it though.
哦 你其实不需要参加的
It's not even you. It's Tamagachi's stomach.
这甚至不是你的事 是玉胜的胃
It's very well-trained, it will do all the work for you.
它已经受过良好训练的 它会完成所有的事
You don't get it. I can't...
你不明白 我不能
Oinky's hot dogs, they're pork hot dogs. Yeah.
奥基热狗 是猪肉热狗 是啊
I can't eat pork.
我不能吃猪肉
What happens if you eat it?
如果你吃了会怎么样呢?
It's against my religion.We don't eat pork.
这有悖我的信仰 我们不吃猪肉
It's like breaking a contract with God.
这就像切断与上帝的联♥系♥
Who negotiated that?
谁规定是这样?
I'm not doing your competition
我不会参加那个比赛的
and that's that, I'm sorry.
今天就到此为止吧 不好意思
No, no, no, you can do it.
别走啊 别 别 你可以的
You can do it.
你可以的啊
He said no?
他拒绝了?
After I saved his life by donating my stomach?
我可是捐了胃给他的救命恩人啊 他竟然拒绝了?
I know, Hiro Tamagachi, I know. I have an idea.
我懂你 我懂 玉徒寻 我有办法了
If you don't get that goddamn rabbi
如果你不能让那个天杀的犹太佬
into that hot dog-eating contest,
参加吃热狗大赛
I'm gonna unplug every feeding tube in this hospital.
我就把这家医院里所有病人的饲管都拔掉
But that would mean...?
可是 那样就...?
Yeah, hundreds of innocent lives lost.
对呀 几百号♥无辜的人为此丧命
All on your conscience.
你就等着忍♥受各种良心不安吧
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's bad.
哦 是啊 是啊 这个够狠
Why, what were you gonna say?
怎么 你本来想说什么?
No, nothing, I was just thinking that,
没 没啥 我就是在想
if the hauntings got worse, I wouldn't get paid
如果抓鬼这事儿没办妥 我就拿不到酬劳
and I wouldn't be able to afford my dry-cleaning bill
然后就没有钱可以付那笔干洗费
and Camomile would basically win, but that...
这样凯莫米尔基本上就算赢了 但是那个...
You know what, your thing is probably a way bigger deal.
确实是 你说的这个可严重多了
Figure it out.
快想办法
What was that? We had him on grand theft.
刚刚那是怎么回事? 我们已经抓住他重偷窃罪的证据了
One bottle of liquor. The rest was baby formula.
他就偷了一瓶酒而已 其他的都是些婴儿食品
So what are you saying? Perp was a family man?
那你是什么意思? 坡坡是个顾家的男人?
Trying to provide?
为了养家糊口?
What I'm saying, Simmons, is sometimes,
我的意思是 西蒙斯 有时候