呆逼还愿人（2014）

Ghosts tend to stick around
当鬼魂有未了之事时
when they have some kind of unfinished business.
他们往往会滞留于人间
Oftentimes, the type of haunting
通常 这类鬼魂
will give me some sort of insight
会让我洞察到
into what that unfinished business is.
他们的未了之事是什么
And finishing unfinished business,
而完成他们的未了之事
well, that literally is my business.
那基本上就是我的事了
Let's get down to it.
来 我们开始吧
These disturbances
这些我们通过电♥话♥
of which we spake over the phone at great lengths,
大致了解的小骚乱
would you mind walking me through it again?
你们介意再跟我说一遍吗？
Evidently, I didn't write anything down,
很显然 我一个字也没记下来
so all of it would be helpful.
所以能跟我再讲一遍会很有帮助
Things move around in the attic at night.
半夜里有东西在阁楼里到处乱窜
We hear creaking. The exterminator find nothing.
动静很大 但是防害人员什么也没发现
And then one day, my wife,
之后 有一天 我的老婆
she find this under her pillow.
她在枕头底下发现了这个
Mm.
嗯
I've seen this before. What is it?
我以前见过这个 这个是什么
I'm trying to think of the most delicate way
我正在想怎么能在不冒犯您的前提下
to say this without offending you.
用最文雅的方式告知您
Scrabble? It's a popular word game.
拼字游戏 这是时下非常流行的拼单词的游戏
You make words out of these cute tiles here.
你可以用这些小木块拼出不同的单词
It doesn't matter.
这不重要
The point is that I think this is a crue.
重点是我认为这是一个线锁
Clue. This is a clue.
线索 这是一个线索
So, what does the A mean?
所以说 这个A到底意味着什么？
The A? Oh, yes.
这个A吗? 哦 是啊
I have no idea.
我也不知道
I'll have to ask the ghost.
我得去问问那个鬼魂
All right, here we are.
妥妥的 我来了
Why don't we start with this?
我们就从这个木块开始咯
You obviously chose this tile for a reason.
很显然 你留下这个木块肯定有你的用意
Right?
是吧?
You guys do everything for a reason, don't ya?
你们这些鬼魂做什么都有自己的理由 是吧?
Herro?
有鬼吗?
Oh, f... king f... king, f... k fart!
我了个擦了个艹了操啊!
What is it? What?
这是什么鬼? 神马?
Oh, what's this?
这是神马?
A...
A...
Ang... Ang...
安...安...
Ang... Angina.
安...安吉娜(=@__@=)
Ang... ange... Angus. Angus burger.
安...安格...安格斯 安格斯汉堡!
Please, tell me you're spelling "Angus burger" right now.
求你 一定要告诉我你刚刚拼写的是 安格斯汉堡!
I remember this one time I had an Angus patty,
我记得 有一次我吃了一个安格斯肉饼
it was so juicy, I didn't just eat that thing,
超多肉汁 超满足! 我不仅仅是吃了那个肉饼
I literally performed cunnilangus on it.
我基本上就是跟它口♥交♥了 都要高♥潮♥了
La-la-la-la-la. I'm gonna stop you right there.
乌拉拉哈拉拉 你就此打住吧
No, no, let me just finish this Angus memory.
别 别介啊 起码让我回忆完那个安格斯高♥潮♥
Angus? But I'm spelling Angie.
安格斯? 但是我拼的是安吉啊
Uh, Angie.
呃 安吉
Oh, whoa.
哦 哇哦
Can you...? Oh, my.
你能看...? 呀 天哪
Who are you? Name is Kevin Pacalioglu.
你是谁? 我的名字叫凯文 派克里欧格鲁
I know it's a bit of a mouthful. You can just call me Pac.
我知道我的名字有点绕口 你可以就叫我派克
That's what all my friends call me.
我的朋友们都是这么叫我的
Well, my friend.
好吧 是我的朋友
My drug dealer.
其实是我的毒贩子
Why are you here?
你为什么来这里?
Because Mr. and Mrs. Lee downstairs
因为楼下的李先生和李太太
said that you've been haunting their house,
说你老是在他们的房♥子里游荡
and they've asked me to come and help, Angie.
他们要我来帮你 安吉
Oh, no, no, I'm actually Daniel.
哦不不不 我其实叫丹尼尔
Daniel. Who's Angie then?
丹尼尔 那谁是安吉?
Angela, my girlfriend, she used to live in this house,
我的女朋友 安吉拉 她以前住在这个房♥子里
and we'd come up here and make out,
我们以前总会上到阁楼来亲热
and I really thought she was gonna be the one.
我那时真的觉得她是我的真爱
What happened?
那期间到底发生了神马？
The war.
战争
I joined the army, and within the first week,
我参军了 就是头一个星期
got a bullet through the back of my head.
我就被人从后面爆了头
Worst part about it is, I never got to see any action.
最惨的是 我都没有亲身经历过
Mm, right, because of your head hole?
嗯 因为你那个大脑洞吗?
Well, no, actually, I never, um,
呃 嗯 实际上 不是的 我
even got to fire my gun, you catch my drift?
我甚至从来没有开过枪 你懂吗?
Yeah, I thought I did,
嗯 我觉得懂得
until you just said "if you catch my drift."
直到你刚刚说"你懂我的意思吗"
I never got to have sex. I died a virgin.
我从没滚过床单 我死的时候还是个处♥男♥
Ah, yes.
啊 懂了
Got it, okay, you were gonna bring her up here
明白了 好的 你就是想把她带过来
and bareback her on that ratty old mattress over there.
在那个破烂的旧床垫上面和她一起做后入式运动
Romantic. Got it. That's why you're still here.
多么浪漫啊 懂了 这就是你还留在人世的原因
Hey, this may sound crazy,but since you can hear me,
我知道这听起来很疯狂 但是 既然你能听见我说话
maybe there's something else you can do.
或许还有其它事情你能帮我完成
If you're talking about a possession,
如果你说的是附身的话
you are out of luck.
那你就点背了
I do not do that anymore.
哥不做附身好多年了
So isn't there something else we can do
所以 还有一些别的我们能做的
so I can pay my rent and you can move on?
好让我缴清房♥租 你也可以好好安心的事吗
I'm here for Angela, that's it.
我留在这里就是为了安吉拉 就这样
Are you serious? I'm dead serious.
你是认真的吗? 我认真的要"死"
That's clever. I know.
说得好 我知道
Hahaha! But really.
23333 但是是真的
You're serious? Very.
你是认真的? 非常
Shit.
妈蛋
So how you doin', Pac?
最近怎么样啊 派克?
A happy meal, please.
麻烦来一份开心乐园套餐
You always get the happy meals.
你总是想要开心乐园餐
Ooh. Come on, man, you're a little light.
哦 别这样 兄弟 你给的有点少(亮)啊
You're a little dark.
你也有点暗啊
I can't keep floatin' you like this.
我不能再像这样帮你了
Come on, Roof. Ehh...
别这样 鲁夫 唉...
I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to say.
对不起 我不知道你想让我说什么
I'm not gettin' jobs like I used to, okay.
我现在没有以前的那种工作了 好吗
People are living longer,so there's fewer ghosts,
人们活得越来越长 鬼魂就越来越少
and everybody's so desensitized to these hauntings
而且因为那些超自然的电影
because of the paranormal festivity movies.
人们都开始对这种鬼魂出没游走感觉到麻木了
Plus, you know, I've just gotten, like, so lazy.
另外 你也知道的 我就是非常非常懒啊
I think you're sellin' yourself short, man.
我觉得你太低估自己了 兄弟
Am I? You got a prodigious ability.
是吗? 你有异于常人的能力
You got to capitalize on that.
你要学会利用这个能力
You don't charge your clients enough.
你对你的客户要价不够高
My clients are usually more willing
我的客户通常更愿意忍♥受鬼魂侵扰
to put up with the ghosts than they are with me.
也不愿意和我呆在一起
Okay, whatever. It's your life.
好的 管你怎么样 这是你的生活
It is my life. Your life.
这是我的活法 对 你的活法
And I wanna be high, heh.
我要嗨翻天 哈
A my guest today is celebrated paranormal communicator
今天的嘉宾是被盛赞为为超自然灵媒的
Miss Camomile White.
凯莫米尔 怀特小姐
It's such a pleasure to meet you.
很荣幸能邀请你来
Lovely to see you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
我也很高兴能见到你 谢谢 先生们 女士们
Miss Camomile White has graced us
凯莫米尔 怀特小姐为我们带来了一本新书
with a new book that she has entitled,
她给这本书起名为
The Ghost Who Came Inside.
我身体内的鬼魂
Nice title.
很不错的书名
I will be appearing
我将会出席
at the Occult Classics Bookstore
明天在"神秘经典"书店
tomorrow for a book signing.
的签售会
She's so dreamy.
她就是我的女神啊
You gotta go down to that book signing and spark up a convo.
你要去那个签售会 然后找机会跟她搭讪