呆逼还愿人（2014）

Yeah. You're pretty enough for this guy.
当然了 你对他来说足够漂亮了
How would you like to get really drunk with me?
你想不想今天喝到特别特别醉?
Like, the most drunk you've ever gotten in your entire life.
像是你这辈子从来没醉到过的醉
I... I...
我嘛 这个
It's on me. I would love that.
我请客 乐意之极
Yes. Yes.
好嘞 好嘞
Okay.
这样跟你说
I have to tell you something. I have to tell you this.
我跟你说 我必须跟你说
This is between you and me, but this job I'm doing right now
这事儿不外传 但是哥现在这个案子
is for the mayor of New York City.
是从纽约市市长那儿接来的
And if I do it right, it will bring me glory and riches
如果哥干得好 分分钟升职加薪成名当上CEO
beyond my wildest dreams.
迎娶白富美 比做梦都好
And when I get paid, I want to come back for you.
等哥拿到钱 哥去找你
I'm gonna rescue you from Camomile forever.
哥要把你从白菊花那给永远拯救出来
And I can be your assistant.
那时候我就可以当你的助理了
No!
那可不行!
We can be each other's assistants.
我们要做彼此的助理
All right. More money. More pictures.
好咯 钱挣起来 照拍起来!
Whoo!
吼吼!
A lot of noise for a man who doesn't exist.
你个死鬼挺会制♥造♥噪音啊
Hey! Hey, uh, I know.
嘿! 嘿 行了 我知道
Civilized liability. I get it. But guess what?
闲杂人等劳动纪律 知道了 但是呢
It's different this time,
这一次不一样了
because I brought a pretty girl with me,
我领了一个漂亮妹子来
and she's gonna be coming any minute.
她随时都有可能到这
Yeah, well, if it's her
你说的要是她
I'll be coming any minute too.
我也随时都能到(高♥潮♥)了
Hello, Kevin.
你好啊 凯文
What are you...? What are you doing here?
怎么是? 你在这儿干啥呢?
You're kidding me, right? I'm here for the subway job.
别逗了 我当然是为了地铁闹鬼的事儿
How did you even know about the...?
你怎么会知道?
Sue.
小苏告诉你了
Uh, pardon me,
诶 不好意思
uh, your excellency.
呃 阁 阁下
Well, this is awkward.
这有点尴尬了
Ahem, miss White here called late last night,
昨晚白小姐打电♥话♥来
and she expressed an interest in helping out.
说她乐于帮忙
And since I hadn't heard from you,
况且我一直没有你的消息
I thought, you know,
我以为嘛
you're having difficulties finishing the job.
你可能一时半会儿也完不成这个任务
No. So here we are.
谁说的 所以我们就这样安排了
It's just I have more experience
只是我更有经验
with these type of high-profile jobs.
就这种需要抛头露面的工作来说
High-profile? No, you said you didn't want
抛头露面? 这 您之前说了您明明
to go on record hiring a medium.
不想让这事儿公之于众啊
I did not go on record about that.
在备忘录上我可没这么说过
Besides, miss Camomile White
而且 白菊花小姐
is the most respected spiritualist in the world, so...
是享誉世界的是享誉世界的神秘学专家 所以嘛
is the most respected spiritualist in the world, so...
她是么? 你比较没有这方面的脑子
Is she? It's kind of a nobrainer.
她是么? 你比较没有这方面的脑子
You're kind of a nobrainer! Brilliant.
你才没脑子! 说得好
I'm sorry, Kevin. This is business.
不好意思 凯文 我们这儿是正经的说事
And to compensate for your time, here.
为了补偿你花的时间 来
It's the key to the city.
给你一个城市之匙
It's chocolate.
这是个大巧克力
Let me jockey for position.
我要为自己说句公道话
Excuse me?
什么?
You say this is all just business?
你说你们是在这说正经事?
Let me jockey for position, then.
那我就事论事 为自己争取一个机会
Me versus Camomile.
我对阵菊花
Mano a womano.
男队对阵女人
May the best medium win.
谁更强 谁就赢
Okay, okay, we can do that.
行啊 行啊 我们可以这么搞
What? Yes!
什么? 太好了
The two mediums
两个灵媒
who enter the tunnel,
都进入隧♥道♥
whoever gets rid of the ghost
谁先驱魔除鬼
gets the $10,000 fee. Yes.
谁就拿到一万刀 就这么办
We'll call all the news outlets
我们把媒体都请出来
and make a big deal out of it.
搞个大新闻
I just have to say sir. For me,
我必须得说 先生 为我自己
I just have to say sir. For me,
我不是冲着钱来的
it's not even about money.
我不是冲着钱来的
I just truly believe in your administration,
我是因为相信您的决策
and I just really want to make this subway project work.
并且希望这个地铁工程能够顺利进行
Yeah, and for me, sir, I would really like to say
这样啊 那我也要说 先生 我想要的呢
that it is just about beating her.
就是赢她一脸
And the money, obviously. Also, a little press never hurts.
还有奖金 很明显 再给我来个报道啥的 也是锦上添花啦
I have a meeting. Excuse me.
我还有个会要开 先走了
Thank you, sir. Good luck to you both.
谢谢您 先生 祝二位好运
Very good, your majesty. Thank you.
好的很 殿下 谢谢您
I get to keep this?
我能留着这个嘛?
Guess so.
应该行
This should be interesting.
这下好玩了
You ready to lose?
准备好输了吗你?
Oh, I was born ready.
时刻准备着
Did everybody bring an egg
大家都带蛋来了么？
like I asked you to?
我之前告诉过大家的
Okay, can I borrow off you?
好的 我可以借你的用一下吗?
Eggs represent the tender area
蛋 代表着
between life and non-life.
介于成型和未成型的生命之间的微妙地带
Cracking these eggs on various rocks
在整个隧♥道♥里
around the tunnel will determine where the spirit resides.
把蛋敲开在不同的石头上就可以找到鬼魂的方位
Bull snot.
放屁
That is baloney of the grade-A variety.
扯得那么远也不怕步子太大扯了蛋
Mike O'Schmidt the ghost is standing right next to me.
麦克伊·奥施密特的灵魂就在我旁边站着呢
Right here.
就这儿
No, he is.
他真的就在这
He's standing right here, leaning off this post.
他就站在这 靠着这根柱子
Yeah, as a matter of fact, he's saying...
哦对了 他在说
he says, "Camomile, you can get some sausage with your eggs."
他在说 "菊花你蛋疼碎了正好加点香肠"
Bada-bing.
搞到你了吧
Yeah, there's more. Hold on, there's more.
哦哦 他又说了 他又说了
He says, "is Camomile a vegetarian? Because...
他说 "菊花是素食主义者吗? 因为"
No, I'm not gonna say that.
诶 那个我可说不出口
Well, come on. What is he saying?
说吧快点的 你说什么
He knows another way
他知道另一种方法
that you can get some protein in you.
能让你补充点蛋白质
He did that, not me.
他抓着我的手弄的 不是我
Yeah, that does sound like Mikey.
蛤蛤 听起来是很像麦克
This is insane. He's putting on a ventriloquist act
这简直神经病 他在这自己演双簧呢
to take jabs at me.
就是为了坏我的事
You want us to believe
你想要让我们相信
that Mikey's standing there next to you?
麦克伊现在就在你旁边站着吗?
Yes. Make him actually do something.
对啊 那就让他做点什么
All right, I will. Do it.
好吧 我会的 现在就做
Piece of cake. Uh, Mikey,
小事一桩 呃 麦克伊
why don't you grab your pickax and smash something.
你就用镐砸个什么玩意儿
Come on. You serious? Smash a rock. Smash a rock.
不是吧 你说真的? 就砸个石头 丢个石头啥的
Show Camomile how much of a man you are. Come on.
给白菊花瞧瞧你是多么的汉砸 来呀
Come on, do it. Yeah. All right.
别磨叽了 上 好吧
He's going to do it for her.
他要给大伙看看
Watch out. I got this.
看着点 我要砸了
Stand back. Yeah, yeah.
往后站点 好好
Was that you?
刚那是你?
I didn't do that. Hold on a minute.
不是我啊 等等
Okay, everybody just calm down.
各位冷静
Take a breath. Stay calm.
深呼吸 镇定一下
Stay there.
先别动
I have a feeling...
我有种预感