呆逼还愿人（2014）

it's a fear of those who consume them irresponsibly.
害怕的是那些毫无节制吃喝的人
Exactly. I have no idea how I get a meeting with this guy.
正是 我不知道怎么才能去见这个家伙
Look at me. How am I gonna pass myself off as thin?
看看我 我怎么才能让自己显得很瘦?
I don't know, lose weight?
我不知道 减肥?
Oh, get serious, Roofie. Come on.
哦 严肃点 鲁夫 拜托
What about you? You're skinny.You can talk to the CDO.
你怎么样? 你很瘦 你可以去跟"首席性致官"谈
Hey man, I would, but I got priors with N'Cole.
嘿 兄弟 我本来可以 但是我跟妮可有约在先了
With N'Cole?
和妮可?
I knew it. I knew it, man.
我就知道 我就知道 真是好兄弟
I mean, do you even know a guy who can flip women's clothing into cash?
我想说 你到底认不认识一个能把女式衣服换成现金的人啊?
Or am I just gonna have to wear this stuff, like a fancy boy?
还是我得自己穿着这些东西 像个牛郎一样
I'm sorry, Pac, but, man,this bitch could be the one.
我很抱歉 派克 但是 伙计 这妞可能是我的真命天女
You're really into this chick, huh?
你真的很中意这妞儿啊 啊哈?
Almost. But she's all stressed about this ghost thing.
基本上是这样 但是她因为鬼魂的事情现在压力很大
Actually, you solving this could be major points for me.
事实上 你解决这事能给我加个巨大印象分
All right, all right, I will. I'll do it.
好吧 好吧 我会的 我会去做的
I still have no idea how am I gonna get into his office.
我还是不知道我怎样才能混进他的办公室
I don't know, just, you know,like, wear something slimming.
我也不知道 就 你懂的 那种 穿点显瘦的
Wear something slimming?
穿点显瘦的?
Something that makes you look thinner.
就是一些能让你看起来瘦点的
You know what? I think I have just the thing.
你知道不? 我觉得我刚好有这种东西
Can I help you?
有什么能帮你的么?
Bonjour.
你好
I am Pierre L'Croissant,
我是皮埃尔 L 克鲁瓦桑
the very famous French fashion mongrel.
是个非常有名的法国时尚混血儿
Perhaps you have heard of me.
你可能听说过我
I am arrived to see Reed Kelly.
我来见里德 凯利
I'm sorry, if you don't have an appointment,
抱歉 如果你没有预约
I can't let you in.
我不能让你进去
Do you really think that Pierre L'Croissant,
你真的认为皮埃尔 L 克鲁瓦桑
the inventor of the cargo short,
这样的抢手货
is accustomed to waiting for an appointment?
会习惯等着预约吗?
Do you really think you're passing for three skinny people
你真的认为你会因为是苗条三人组
and not just one fat guy with two fake black heads
而不是一个胖子带着两个架在他肩上的假黑人头
mounted on his shoulders?
就蒙混过关么?
Touché.
说得好
Okay, listen, I just need five minutes of Mr. Kelly's time.
好吧 听着 我只是需要凯利先生五分钟的时间
It's about an employee who was terrorizing one of his stores.
是关于他商店里的一个雇员在店里捣乱的事情
It's a... it's a pretty young thing
是一个... 非常年轻的
he had may have an indiscretion with.
和他有有点不正当言行的漂亮姑娘
I think he'll wanna hear about it.
我认为他会想听听的
Mr. Kelly, there's a Pierre L'Croissant here
凯利先生 这里有个皮埃尔
to see you, says it's urgent.
来见您 说是有急事
Quite fat, yeah.
非常胖 是的
Okay.
好的
Thank you.
谢谢
Mr. croissant.
克鲁瓦桑先生
Mr. croissant, please, please come in.
克鲁瓦桑先生 请进
As a result of my involuntary repulsion
在我非自愿的排斥作用下
towards people of considerable girth,
对那些有着相当大腰围的人
I will have to conduct this meeting facing away from you.
我会不得不在见面时背对着你
I completely understand, good sir. The reason I'm here...
我完全理解 好心的先生 我之所以来到这里
Oh. Stop, stop, stop. What?
哦 停停停 怎么了?
(Bleep) me. What?
我(哔) 什么?
Even your voice sounds fat. Look, do me a favor.
连你的声音听起来都胖 听着 帮我个忙
Croissant, please there is a helium tank to your right.
克鲁瓦桑 在你的右边有个氦气罐
Yeah, the pink one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
是有 粉色哒? 对对对
I always keep it on deck.I have an obese FedEx guy.
我一直把它放在那个座儿上 我有个超胖的联邦快递员
Do me a favor, just give it a little toot. A little suck on this?
帮我个忙 只要一小口 吸一小口这个?
Yeah, stop talking. Give it a little...
是的 别说了 只要吸一点...
Okay.
好的
Ah. Okay, is that better?
啊 好的 好点没?
Much.
好多了
Okay. Thank you. I like that a lot.
好的 谢谢你 我很喜欢这个声音
Anyway, you were saying?
那什么 你刚才说?
Yes, I was saying that...
是啊 我是想说
I'm afraid one of your stores is being haunted
恐怕你有一个店铺正在闹鬼
by a former employee named Alice N.
被一个叫爱丽丝N的前任雇员
She's a little peeved
她有点生气
because you took some scandally type photos of her
因为你拍了她的丑闻型照片
and then didn't use any of them.
却一张都没有用过
Son of a bitch.
小贱♥人♥
I knew this would come back to bite me right in the dick.
我就知道这种事会报应回来在我要害上咬一口
Yeah. I know the girl you're talking about.
是的 我知道你说的那个姑娘
Yes, yes.
是的 是的
Got me. Okay.
你抓到我了 行了吧
And there's a reason, a perfectly good reason
但是我没有用那些照片是有原因的
that I did nothing with those photos.
一个绝佳的原因
You see, I found out that Allison was in fact...
你知道么 我发现那个艾利森其实是...
My daughter.
我的女儿
What? Yeah.
啥米? 是的
From a one-night stand, years ago.
源自很多年前的一次一♥夜♥情♥
In middle school. Oh, my God.
在中学里 哦 我的个老天爷
Whoa, helium, helium. Helium. Yeah, I got it right here.
哇哦 氦气 氦气 氦气 好的 我正拿着呢
Okay,we're back to square one.
好了 我们回到原来的话题
Oh, Jesus. Okay. Anyway, I'm sorry,
哦 老天 好了 不管怎样 我很抱歉
but there's no way I could exploit my daughter.
但是我不可能去利用我的女儿
I mean, what kind of a monster do you think I am?
我是说 你以为我是什么样的禽兽?
Well, I will certainly tell Alice and...
好吧 我会明确的转告爱丽丝 然后...
She's gonna be a little disappointed.
她会有点失望的
Also, probably a little disturbed.
也可能会有点不安
Okay, I'm sorry. Hold on.
好了 不好意思 等一下
Why do you keep saying her name that way?
为什么你一直用那样的方式叫她?
What? Oh, Alice N? Because I know two Alices,
什么方式? 哦 爱丽丝N? 因为我认识两个爱丽丝
and this is how I keep them different in my head.
这是我在记忆中区分她们俩的办法
This one is called Alice N, like new Alice, Alice New.
这个叫做♥爱♥丽丝N 就像是新的爱丽丝 爱丽丝新版
The other is Alice O for old... Okay, hold on.
另一个爱丽丝O代表以前的... 够了 停一下
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
停下 停下 停下
I got it. Ha, ha, ha.
我明白了 哈哈哈
Wait a minute. Holy shit.
等一等 我了个大去
Wait a second. I thought you were saying Allison.
等一下 我以为你是在说艾莉森
No. Alice... Yes. Can you understand
不是 爱丽丝... 就是这样 你能明白
why I thought you were saying Allison?
我为什么觉得你在说艾莉森么?
Because when you say Alice N, Alice N, yeah.
因为当你说爱丽丝N 爱丽丝N 没错啊
It sounds like Allison.
听起来就像艾莉森
Oh, I guess so. Okay. This Alice girl.
哦 我想是吧 好了 这个叫爱丽丝的女孩
This Alice "N", okay?
这个爱丽丝"N" 对吧?
I don't... I don't know who... that's not my daughter.
我不知道...我不知道她是谁...那不是我的女儿
No. Uh-uh. No, no, no.
不是的 嗯嗯 绝对不是
She's probably just some girl from Bumble(Beep), Iowa.
她可能是从爱荷华州的Bumble(哔)乡村来的什么女孩
Uh, it's Bumblefork. Whatever. Don't correct me.
呃 是Bumblefork 无所谓 别纠正我
Anyway, I will totally exploit this Alice girl.
不管怎么说 我会好好利用这个叫爱丽丝的姑娘的
Fantastic. Yeah.
太好了 是啊
That is great news. Uh, but what about your daughter?
真是一个好消息 呃 那您的女儿怎么办?
The other Allison?
另一个艾莉森?
Let's just forget about her.
让我们忘了她吧
These are the photos from Reed. Fat.
这些是我从里德那尔弄来的 太胖
Fat. F.U.P.A.
太肥 胯上太多赘肉
Fat.
太肿
Bloated earlobe.
耳垂太多赘肉
Melon groove.
肚子鼓的像瓜
Look at these rolls of fat on my side here.
看看我这边厚厚的脂肪
Those are ribs.
它们是肋骨啦
Are these really all of them?
这些真的就是全部么?
I think you look super-duper skinny in these.
我觉得你在这些照片里看起来是顶呱呱的瘦啊
Well, compared to you, maybe.
呵呵 也就是和你比吧
You're like one big human carbohydrate.
你就像一个臃肿的人型碳水化合物
Hey. I happen to love my body for what it is, okay?
嘿 我还就特喜欢我圆滚滚的身材 怎么地?
Well, aren't you lucky? Yes.
哈 你还真是觉得很幸运哈? 还真这么觉得
What the hell?
这是闹什么鬼?