崩溃人生（2017）

很明显他有办法刮胡子 所以他有生活用品
he's clearly found a way to shave, so... he's got resources,
把梯子收回来吧 他没事
so, roll the ladder back up, he's okay.
-你是尼克 -你说什么
- You Nick? - Excuse me?
你是谁
Who are you?
你... 我是来找阿迪的
Who are you-- I'm looking for Artie.
阿迪·兰格
Artie Lange?
阿迪不在
Artie's not here.
不好意思 他回来吗 还是
Sorry. Is he coming back or...?
嗯 大概五到十分钟吧
Yeah, like in five, 10 minutes, all right?
他让你留在
Is-- Can he-- So he just left you--
这样吧 在走廊等着
You know what? Wait in the hallway.
你让我在走廊等
You want me to wait in the hall--
好吧 你说得对 进来等吧
You know what? You're right, wait in here.
我不想看你站在走廊里
I don't like this hallway for you.
来吧
Come on.
我可以... 我可以...
I could-- I can--
-你可以进来等 -好的
- You can wait in here! - Okay.
是这个人吗
Is this... is this the guy?
不 他是阿迪的朋友
No. It's a friend of Artie's.
他要在这里等阿迪
He's, uh, he's gonna wait for him here.
你好 我是雷蒙德 这是吉恩
How are you doin'? I'm Raymond, this is Gene.
我们是阿迪城里的朋友
We're friends of Artie's from the neighborhood.
你怎么会认识他
How do you know-- how do you know him?
我也是名喜剧演员 所以...
I, um, I'm a comedian, too, so--
是啊 你也用麦克风表演吗
Yeah. You talk in a microphone?
好吧
Right.
这让我想起我怎么认识的阿迪
You know that reminds me, that reminds me, how I know Artie.
我们有个共同的朋友 被火车撞了
We got a mutual friend that got hit by a train,
但他只锯了腿 就没那么糟对吧
but he only got his foot cut off, but it wasn't so bad, right?
反正我们就是这么认识的
Anyway, that's how we met.
太搞笑了 太操蛋了
It was fucking funny, it was fucked up.
我不...
Well, I don't-- um,
我得去车上拿个东西 我...
I'm gonna have to run to my car, so I'll just--
好吗
Okay?
没问题 兄弟 关门时别夹到手
Definitely, man. Watch your hand in the door.
好的 谢谢
Okay. Thank you.
有阿迪·兰格的表演吗
Is, um, Artie Lange performing?
没有
No.
谢谢
Thank you.
你给我打了八个电♥话♥ 皮特
This is like the eighth time you've called me, Pete.
你想干什么
What do you want?
你还好吗
You all right?
我没事
I'm fine.
阿迪 你看起来不太好
Artie, you don't look fine.
谢了 兄弟 可惜我家没镜子照
Oh, thanks, man, 'cause I don't own a mirror.
所以呢 我是说...
So? I mean--
干什么 是你打电♥话♥给我的
So, what? Look, you called me.
我才给你回电♥话♥
I called you back, right?
都是你挑的事 怎么了
So-- so this is your idea. What's going on?
你... 你过了好久才给我回电
You... It took you a while to call me back.
再说了那些人是谁
And then, who were those guys?
-什么人 -那些在你家...
- What guys? - The guys that you--
你家里有两个灰头土脸的人
You had two sketchy guys in your apartment.
他们是我素描班的朋友
They're my sketch group.
-这可不是... -不
- That's not-- - No...
阿迪 这些人就这样出现 他们还...
Artie, these guys came over, they-- they--
他们还带着毒品 他们在嗑药
they had drugs with-- they were doing drugs.
好了 神探 听着
Okay, look. First of all, Columbo,
首先我完全不知道这件事
I don't know anything about that.
什么都不知道 如果有人嗑药
Nothing. If someone's doing drugs,
-我根本不了解任何相关情况 -就在这里
- I-- I don't know anything about drugs. - It was right here,
就在你家里 阿迪 你不能复吸
it was in your house. Artie, you can't be using.
你知道的 你不是在戒毒么
You know this. I thought you were in recovery.
首先我根本没复吸 这一点我们要明确
First of all, I'm not using. Okay? Let's get that straight.
别嚷嚷那堆废话
Don't be yelling out that bullshit.
那会浪费我的时间 我没复吸
It costs me work. I'm not using.
我正积极戒毒呢
I'm in recovery. Actively.
-那... -我也绝不会和他们一起吸
- So-- - I would never shoot up with them.
要是他们... 先说明一点
If they-- First of all,
我是看到他们好像在做些奇怪的事
I saw them possibly doing something weird,
于是我就出去了
and I got out-- I got outta here.
-那很棒 我为你骄傲 -谢谢
- That's... That's good. I'm proud of you. - Thank you.
谢谢你为我骄傲
Well, thanks for being proud of me.
那不是件容易的事 那很了不起
That's not easy to do, that's amazing.
我只是想帮你 兄弟
I just wanna help you, man.
如果你状态好了 我希望能陪在你身边
If you're on a good streak, I just wanna be here--
我得跟你说些话 其实通常来说
I gotta tell you something. You know, usually,
我不太理人们的这种行为
I... I blow people off like this,
但你和我纽约的朋友不一样
but, um, you're different than my New York buddies.
你真诚得多 我很感谢这点
You're way more sincere, and, uh, I appreciate that.
真的 我很感谢 谢谢你
I do, I appreciate it. I do. Thank you.
-是我要谢谢你 说真的 -谢谢
- I-- I appreciate you, are you kidding? - Thank you.
谢谢你跟我说这些
Thank you for telling me that.
听着 谢谢你过来
Uh, look, uh, thank you for being here.
没其他人来了
Nobody else is here. You know?
你可能是我现在最好的朋友
You're probably the best friend I got right now.
我很感谢这点
And I appreciate it.
-让我... -其实你就是
- Well, let-- - You know, you are.
-让我帮你 -你想帮我
- Let me help you. - You wanna help?
我想... 让我帮你
I wanna be-- Let me help you.
好吧 那我们就...
All right, well let's, uh,
我们就做点事 做点正面的事
let's do something, uh, positive, then.
对
Yes.
你得用好习惯代替坏习惯
You gotta replace a bad habit with a good habit.
我看过一个TED演讲 你只需要...
I saw a TED Talk. You just gotta...
-我们就这么做 -重新训练你的大脑
- Let's do it. ... - retrain your brain.
我同意 我们行动吧
Well, I'm in. Let's do it.
告诉你我需要什么好习惯 我快饿死了
Well, I'll tell you what a good habit is for me, I'm starvin'.
-我们去吃点东西吧 -没问题
- Let's go get something to eat. - I would love to.
很遗憾你目前的生活不太轻松
I'm sorry things aren't easy for you right now,
-但... -是啊...
- but... - Yeah, well...
是不轻松 现在的生活一团乱
Yeah, it's not easy. Life's weird now.
确实是
It really is.
你打算去互助会或者...
Are you going to meetings or...?
我得告诉你 瘾君子互诫协会这种东西
I gotta tell you, the whole thing about AA,
感觉它对我来说有点太宗教了
it feels a little too religious for me, you know?
而上帝对我而言 说实话 他还欠我解释
And God, with me, quite frankly, he's got some explaining to do.
-你什么意思 -我什么意思
- What do you mean? - What do I mean?
你♥爸♥因为从屋顶上摔下来瘫痪了
So, you know, your father becomes a quadriplegic
还没保险赔偿
by falling off a roof, with no insurance.
你得领救济金 这件事也毁了你整个家庭
You gotta go on welfare, and, uh, it ruins your whole family.
这种事会让你觉得
That doesn't make you feel like
天上不存在什么人在关照你
there's somebody up there that's looking out for you.
说实话 我确实有点怀疑
And, uh, you know, I'm a little cynical about it, quite frankly.
我还能怎么说呢
What do you want me to tell you? I mean--
-我很抱歉 -是啊
- I'm so sorry. - Yeah, right.
说实话 我也经历过
To be honest, I've been
一段很难去相信"更高力量"的时间
having a hard time with the whole "Higher power"
-对我自己而言 -真的吗 你
- thing myself. - Really? You?
为什么
Why?
说不上来 我人生的大部分时间
I don't know. So much of my life,
都特别害怕上帝
I was afraid of God.
但我现在回头看 我没做什么事
Now I'm looking back, I didn't do stuff.
也许我错过了 我也不知道
Maybe I missed out, I don't know.
什么样的事
What stuff?
我一直很害怕地狱 我不想...
I was so worried about hell, I-- I didn't wanna--
就像我不打飞机
like I wouldn't jerk off,
因为怕耶稣在我手♥淫♥的时候回来
just in case Jesus came back while I was masturbating.
那可真是坏运气 坏时机
Well, that would be horrible luck, bad timing.
很费解
It's confusing.