崩溃人生（2017）

Crashing S02E02

Part 4 July 15, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

Get past it. Let's set sail.
别太早靠岸
Don't dock the ship too early.
来吧
Come on!
我喜欢在看完电影后
I like reading books about movies
看一些原著小说因为我能对号♥入座
after I've seen the movie because then it's all cast.
我知道他们都长啥样了
You know exactly what they look like.
没错
Yeah, exactly.
别接哥们
Oh, don't answer that, man.
一般没什么人打我电♥话♥的
I don't get a lot of calls.
喂
Hello?
嗯
Yeah.
好的我很近 20分钟就到
Yes, yes. I'm... I'm close. I'm 20 minutes.
好的非常感谢
I will be there. Thank you so much.
-好的谢谢 -谁啊
- Yes. Thank you. - Who's that?
是《奥兹医生》那个节目打来的
That was Dr. Oz. That was the show Dr. Oz.
他们需要人热场
They need a warm-up.
原来那个病了得找个人替一下
Their warm-up guy is sick, they need a warm-up.
皮特太棒了
Peter, that's amazing!
-他们就打给我了 -在哪呢
- They called me! - Whoa. Where is it?
长岛市
Long Island City.
哥们仔细想想
Man, think about it.
我们随波逐流来到这里现在你又可以
The journey brought us here, and you are close enough
在20分钟内赶过去好好想想
to be able to make that in 20 minutes. Think about that.
我明白我全明白了
No, I know! I know, I get it!
这就是我的宿命我要去给《奥兹医生》热场啦
This is it! I'm gonna go warm-up Dr. Oz!
走吧
Come on!
-很高兴认识你们 -我也是
- Okay. It was very nice to meet you. - Nice meeting you, too.
谢谢你们的奶酪非常感谢
Thank you for the cheese, I appreciate it.
再见
Okay. Bye!
利夫走啊
Leif! Come on!
我很想陪你们但我算是他的夏尔巴
I wish I could stay, but I'm kind of like his Sherpa.
-好好玩 -好
- Have fun. - Okay.
谢谢你们的邀请
Thanks so much for having me.
感谢你能这么快就过来
Thanks for gettin' here so quickly.
我们从瑞秋·雷那知道的你
We got your name from Rachael Ray.
听说你让她妈含屌♥
You're sort of famous for tellin' her mom to suck a dick.
我没这么说
That's not what I said--
你是我们找的第四个人但我们真的有点急
You were like our fourth call, but we were in a bit of a pinch.
但我没说那话
Yeah, but that's not what I said.
-只是 -10到12分钟可以吗
- It was just-- - So it's about 10, 12 minutes, okay?
好我要发糖吗还是
Okay. Uh, do I hand out candy, or...?
我们这不发糖这是健康类节目
We don't give out candy, here, this is a health show.
这是"灵魂圈"的优♥惠♥券
Here are some coupons for SoulCycle.
好我也不想问但
Okay. Um, I hate to ask, but...
200块报酬
The pay is 200 bucks.
瑞秋·雷那是400
Rachael Ray was 400.
那挺不错啊
Sweet gig.
那你不该让她妈给你口♥交♥的
Sounds like you shouldn't have told her mom to slob your knob.
我没让瑞秋·雷的妈妈给我口♥交♥
I didn't tell Rachael Ray's mom to slob my knob.
我是这么听说的
I heard you did.
我就是主人公
Okay, I'm the person that the story's about,
我比较有发言权我没让她
so I can tell you with authority that I didn't tell her--
我听说你让
I was told that you said
瑞秋·雷的妈妈应该帮你咬蛋
that Rachael Ray's mom should nibble your nuts.
这太孩子气了我没这么说
That sounds like something a child would say, I didn't say that.
我还听说你让她妈帮你洗生殖腺
I heard you said that you wanted her mom to gargle your gonads.
这还写下来了吗
Okay, are some of those written down?
有人给我的
I have-- Someone handed me some notes.
我要澄清一下这是个误会
I just wanna be clear. There was a misunderstanding.
-我就是热了个场 -去找JJ
- I did a little crowd work-- - Go for JJ.
你们兴奋吗
Are you guys excited?
兴奋
Yeah!
-说爽 -爽
- Say yeah! - Yeah!
很好
Go, go! That's good!
再来非常爽
Be like, heck, yeah!
非常爽
Heck, yeah!
这是家庭节目放轻松
It's a family show, keep it heck.
倍儿爽
Heck, yeah!
倍儿爽
Heck, yeah!
奥兹医生要跟我们聊聊什么才叫健康
Dr. Oz is gonna tell us what's healthy.
我之前看到一个能量饮料的广♥告♥说
I saw an energy drink that was bragging
他们比红牛猛2.5倍
that it was 2.5 times stronger than Red Bull.
这玩意给谁喝呢
Who-- yeah. Who is that for?
谁会喝着红牛然后觉得这挺猛啊
Who is drinking Red Bull like, "Yeah, it's pretty strong,
但要是再猛2.5倍就更好了
but they could kick this up two and a half more times."
我怎么没有立刻瞎想然后腹泻呢
'Cause I don't have paranoia and diarrhea immediately.
我等不了了我想尝一口就能拉裤子
I can't be waiting for that. I want first sip, soil myself.
然后觉得邻居是个狙击手
I think my neighbor is a sniper.
掌声欢迎奥兹医生他超棒的
Uh, we're gonna bring out Dr. Oz and it's gonna be fun.
兴奋吗
Are you guys excited?
兴奋
Yeah!
大点声
Show me that energy! Go, yeah!
大家欢迎奥兹医生
All right, let's say hi to Dr. Oz, everybody!
我在这
I'm here.
奥兹医生来啦
Dr. Oz. There he is!
大家好感谢大家前来
Hi, everybody, thank you for being here!
好了
Okay, that's it.
好了我不用回去了吗
That's it, I-- I don't go back out?
就一次能把优♥惠♥券还我吗
One and done. Can I get the coupons?
好我没想着偷
Yeah. I'm not tryin' to steal those.
我已经有原地转圈的东西了
If I want something that's spinning in circles and going nowhere,
那就是我的生活
I have my life.
你让凯伦帮你把衬衫放衣柜里就好
You can leave the shirt with Karen in wardrobe.
好
Okay.
感谢你太棒了
Oh, wow, thank you. Uh, that was-- that was so great.
谢谢你们让我暖场
Thanks for havin' me.
你还挺给力观众还挺嗨的
You did a nice job, they seemed fired up.
谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
你嗑药了吗
Are you high?
没有
No, no, I-- No.
请看着我的眼睛
Look in my eyes, please.
我没嗑药
I-- I'm-- I'm not high.
别扯淡了
I know you're high.
我是奥兹医生好吗
I'm Dr. Oz.
我能问你个问题吗
Um... hey, could I ask you a question?
我最近挺迷茫的
I've had a confusing couple days and, uh...
你信上帝吗
I was just wondering if you believe in God?
当然
Yeah, sure.
是吗我以为你信奉科学
Really? I thought, maybe a man of science, you just,
觉得这些都是童话故事
thought it was a fairy tale.
我不觉得科学和信仰有什么冲突
I don't see science and faith as opposing forces at all.
对我来说就是用词不同而已
See, for me, it's all about vocabulary.
你想想一个很小的物体
Think about that little speck of mass
形成了大爆♥炸♥
that erupted into the big bang.
你管这叫"奇点"还是"上帝"
Do you call it "The singularity" or do you call it "God"?
我没觉得有什么不同
You know? I don't see much of a difference.
你现在很兴奋吧
I bet you are freakin' out right now
你是在是太嗨了
'cause you are so high.
是有点过
It's-- it's a bit much.
欢迎大家来参加本节目
Welcome to the show, everybody!
人体内部到底是怎样的呢
So what's goin' on inside the human body?
利夫利夫
Leif! Hey! Leif!
皮特
Hey, Peter!
你拿到礼物了吗
Did you get all these cool gifts?
没有你的包呢
No. Listen. Uh, where's your bag?
包咱俩的包
The bag, our bag?
天啊我忘了咱俩忘拿了
Oh, God. Oh... I think I forgot it. We forgot it.
我把戒指放你包里了
I put my ring in your bag!
没事冷静
That's okay. Well, calm down.
我们肯定能找到包的
The bag deserves to be found and we shall find it.
现在就去找吧走