崩溃人生（2017）

-好吧 嗯我... -总结精准
- Well, yeah. I-- - Pretty accurate.
我知道是有点奇怪 不过他呢...
I know. It's a little weird, but, you know, he's--
有点
A little?
他这个人 很难一直生他的气
He's a hard guy to stay mad at, I guess.
另外 你知道
And plus, you know,
我不再和他住在一起了
I'm not living with him anymore.
兄弟 你和那男的同居吗
Dude, you lived with the guy?
-是啊 -你真♥他♥妈♥应该打死他
- Well, yeah... - You should've beat the fucking shit out of him.
谢谢 终于有人懂我在说什么了
Thank you! Finally, somebody understands what I'm talking about.
他讲得对 你应该揍死他
He's making sense. You should've beat the shit out--
现在就该有一件沾满血的披风
Somewhere there should be a bloody poncho
挂在某个当铺里
in a pawnshop right now.
我正在吃一块美味的牛排
I'm eating a very nice steak.
我们真要讨论一个害我在监狱过一晚的男人
Do we have to ruin it by talking about the guy
来毁掉这顿饭吗
that I just spent the night in jail because of--
想想这个情形 你和这个男人同居
I mean, think about the situation. You're living with him.
首先你们同床共枕 其次共享一个女人
First you share a bed, then you share the same woman.
现在你又要和他分享肥皂和家务轮班吗
Now you're gonna share, what, the-- some soap and a chore wheel?
我得抽支烟
I got to smoke.
我不是故意暴脾气的 只是你知道
I don't mean to be crabby. It's just, you know,
我不喜欢谈论这件事 你能理解吗
it's not my favorite thing to talk about, you can understand.
兄弟 我不是要打探或什么
Look, dude, I'm not trying to, like, pry or anything,
但你怎么会和你的劲敌住在一起了
but how did you end up living with your arch-nemesis?
我不认识任何人 我的妻子
I don't know anybody. I-- My wife was--
拜托告诉我这就像一场骗局
Please tell me this is like a scam.
兄弟 我会每晚都在那男的床上拉屎
Dude, I would be shitting in that guy's bed every fucking night.
他的牙刷怎么还没塞到你屁♥股♥里
How his toothbrush hasn't been up your ass is a mystery.
你这么做了吧
Please tell me you did that.
-不 -你会很爽的
- Uh-- no. - It'd be good for you.
我不是会复仇的人 我倾向于原谅
I'm not a revenge person. I'm a forgive person.
我试着原谅 这不太容易 但随时间
I'm trying to forgive. It not easy, but, you know, with time--
-我的天 当然 -原谅与被原谅
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God, of course. - Forgive and be forgiven.
-怎么了 -你信耶稣
- What? - You're a Jesus freak.
-许多 -你就是 看你的头发
- A lot of-- - You are. Look at your hair.
你的头发想向我介绍
Your hair wants to introduce me
你的上帝和救主耶稣
to your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
你的三七分想为我祷告
Your fucking part wants to pray for me.
-真的吗 -当然不
- Can it? - Fuck no!
我不喜欢那个阿迪
I don't like that Artie's
吃饭到一半出去抽烟 这是不好的迹象
smoking in the middle of the meal now, that's a bad sign.
在你吃饭的时候他们得出去抽烟
They have to go out for a smoke while you're eating.
-他走了 -什么意思
- Oh, yeah, he's gone. - What do you mean?
阿迪就像那些老的乡村音乐一样
Artie's like one of those old country songs.
男人出去抽盒烟 然后一去不返
Dude goes out for a pack of cigarettes and doesn't come back.
阿迪就是这样
That's Artie.
他会回来的 他说自己只是出去抽烟
He's coming back. He's just smoking, he said he's smoking.
我告诉你
I'm telling you right now,
他在去大西洋城的途中 不会回来了
he's halfway to Atlantic City. He's not coming back.
我知道你在说什么 但他好多了
I know what you're saying, but he's doing better.
我跟他出去玩过
I've been hanging out with him,
他好多了 他现在很清醒
he's doing better, he's sober.
-是啊是啊 -他现在都戒了
- Oh, sure, sure. - He's a sober person.
我想什么呢 我太傻了对吧
What am I thinking? Silly me, right?
他会回来的
No, no. He'll-- he'll be back.
好的
Okay.
妈的
Shit.
妈的
Shit!
拜托
Come on.
妈的
Fuck. God.
-他走了 -早跟你说了
- He left. - Told you.
现在是晚上十点半 我
It's 10:30, man. It's 10:30 at night. I-I...
我不知道我要去做什么
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
操 走吧
Fuck you, man. Come on.
真的吗 你不介意吗
Really? You don't mind?
我他妈当然介意 但我能怎么办
Of course I fucking mind. What am I gonna do?
你看起来就像会在必胜客门口被人捅
You look like you'd get stabbed at a Pizza Hut.
别掉进检修孔里 你这个土包子
Just try not to fall down a manhole, you fucking bumpkin.
还有人没睡呢
Oh, hey, look who's still up.
你们在开派对呢
You guys partyin'?
是啊 几个派对女孩
Yeah, just a couple party girls.
看看谁回家了
Look who's home?
我的小宝贝
Oh, my little precious.
这位是皮特
Hey, this is, uh, this is Pete.
他今晚会跟我们待在一起
Hi. Yeah, he's gonna be stayin' with us tonight.
很荣幸见到你 布尔女士
It's, uh, an honor to meet you, Mrs. Burr.
谢谢
Thank you.
所以你现在就干这事
So this is what you're doing now, huh?
把你的酒友带回家
Just bringing your drinking buddies home?
不 他是个好人 他干干净净
Yeah-- No, he's a good guy. He works clean.
我不酗酒 我是个好人
I'm not a heavy drinker. I... I'm a nice person.
好的 你怕热还是怕冷
Right. Hey, uh, you run hot or cold?
我怕冷
I run cold.
那就盖被子吧
All right, quilt it is.
她真可爱
She's so precious.
谢谢
Thank you.
我知道你在哄她睡觉
I-- I don't wanna-- uh, I know you're trying to get her to sleep,
但我可以跟她打个招呼吗
but do you mind if I say hello?
好的
Oh. Sure, yeah, yeah.
-打个小招呼 -当然
- A little visit? - No, of course.
打个招呼吧
Can you say hi?
真是个小生命
It's like life itself.
不要闻我的宝宝
Don't-- don't sniff my baby.
比尔 他在闻宝宝
Bill, he's sniffing the baby.
皮特 别像个变♥态♥
Pete, don't be a fucking weirdo!
这是给我的
This is me?
这是给你的
This is you.
谢谢你
Wow, thank you.
没事
Don't worry about it.
我一直都睡在车♥库♥
I... I been sleeping in a garage.
这太棒了
This is incredible.
你会爱上它的
Oh, you're gonna love this.
这可是最好的折叠沙发
This is like a top-of-the-line pull-out couch here.
中间没有栏杆 你会睡得像个宝宝
No bar in the middle, you're gonna sleep like a baby.
你确定尼娅接受我住在这里吗
Are you sure, uh, Nia's okay with me staying here?
兄弟 这不相干
Dude, that's irrelevant.
她爱死枕头了 都没地方坐
She fucking loves pillows, man, you can't even sit down.
我曾经结过婚 我也不能理解她们
You know, I used to be married. I didn't understand them,
但当我和一个女人住在一起
but then, when I lived with a woman,
她们真的可以带来生活的色彩
they really can provide what's known as a splash of color.
你说的很多东西
You know, there's so much stuff that you say
我都不知道怎么回复
that I don't even know how to respond to it.
因为某些操蛋的原因 来这的路上
Yeah. Because for some fucked up reason, on the way up here,
我真的开始想
I was actually starting to think, like, you know,
你来这里或许是件好事
it's probably a good thing that you're coming up here.
我没有和男人一起玩的时间
I have no guy time.
你想和我一起做男人做的事
You wanna do guy stuff with me?
是啊 看看比赛 喝喝汽水
Yeah, watch a game or something. Have a couple of pops.
我不是特别有男子气概
I'm not really a manly... guy.
我最爱的超级碗的部分就是那些糖
My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the fun dips.
你不明白 你不能这么对我
You don't understand. You can't do this to me.
你能在这几天里不做皮特吗
Can you just not be Pete, for just a couple of days?
只要假装 把它当作表演训练
Just pretend, just treat it like an acting exercise.
你能不能男子气概一点
Can you just fucking try to guy it up?
为我做点事
Just do something for me.
-当然 -你能为我做到吗
- Sure. - Just somethin'. Can you do that for me?
-好 我愿意试试看 -好的
- Yeah, I'd love to try. - All right.
我喜欢波士顿红袜队
I love the-- the Boston Red Sox.
他们今年没有好的阵容 但是我...
They don't have a-- a good starting lineup this year, but I--
就是这样
There you go.
乔丹 史上最佳
Oh, Jordan. Best of all time--