崩溃人生（2017）

- Thank you. - Y'all brothers and sisters?
很多人这么以为 不过不是 我们是恋人
Lot of people think that, but no, we are lovers.
-你在做什么 -没什么
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
她说喜欢喜剧 我就想问问
She said she liked comedy, so I wanted to see
她要不要来午夜场
if she wanted to come to the late show.
-还有一场吗 -他应该是说约炮
- Oh, there's another show? - I think it's a euphemism.
-好吧 -好了 我们要走了
- Oh, okay. - Okay, we gotta go.
-你们得走了 谢谢你们 -好的
- You gotta go. Thank you. - Okay.
我被拉走了
I'm being pulled away.
你们太棒了
You guys were great.
我喜欢这次会面 很有趣 谢谢
I really liked this. This was really fun, thank you.
-我真的喜欢 -好的
- I really liked it. Okay. - Okay.
再见 谢谢你们能来 约翰
Bye, guys. Thank you for coming. Hey, John.
我应该为台上说的有些话道歉
Um, I just feel like I should apologize for some of the things I said.
-希望你不要在意 -皮特 你很搞笑
- I wanna make sure it was okay. - Pete, you were funny.
你让演出更精彩了 别紧张
You made the show better. Okay? Relax.
你目前在做什么
What are you doing right now?
没什么 就这一场
Nothing, I mean this is it.
你想和我们一起去酒窖吗
You want to come to The Cellar with us?
-去吧 -对啊
- Come on. - Yeah.
我们演出后得放松一下
We gotta unwind after the show.
好啊 真的吗 你们不介意吗
Yeah. I mean. Really? You don't mind?
我已经邀请了你 说"好"就行
I've already invited you! Say, "Yes."
好
Yeah.
你好啊 兄弟
What's up, man?
-皮特·福尔摩斯 -你怎么样
- Pete Holmes. - How are you?
-看起来不错 兄弟 -谢了 哥们
- Lookin' good, brother. - Thanks, dude.
等等 我不能坐那里 我不在这里表演
Hold on, I can't sit back there 'cause I don't play here.
不会有问题的 我找埃斯蒂谈谈
It's not gonna be a problem. I'll talk to Estee.
埃斯蒂
Hey, Estee.
-你好吗 约翰 -你好吗
- How are you, John? - How are you?
见到你真好 太棒了
It's so good to see you. Wonderful.
见到你也很高兴
Wonderful to see you.
-最近怎么样 -我今晚在市政厅演出了
- What's happening? - Uh, I did Town Hall tonight.
我听说了 怎么样
Oh, I heard. How was it?
非常棒
It was amazing.
-真的吗 -真的特别棒
- Really? - It was really, really cool.
我站在台上时就想 这一切都要感谢埃斯蒂
When I was standing on stage, I thought, it is all thanks to Estee.
我很高兴给了你首次机会
Well, I'm glad I gave you first shot,
不过是你的才能让你发展到这一步
but your talent took you to where you are.
我知道我有才 不过是你给了我机会
I know I have talent. But, no, really you gave me the opportunity.
好吧
Okay.
说到这个 今晚有人为我暖场
Speaking of, someone opened for me tonight,
一个我从未见过的伙计
a guy I'd never seen before.
他特别搞笑 你知道皮特·福尔摩斯吗
Uh, he was hilarious. Do you know Pete Holmes?
就是这个徘徊不走的人吗
This guy hovering, right here?
抱歉 我只是... 我们今晚一块来的
I'm sorry, I just-- We came in together.
我知道我不该坐在这一桌 不过...
I know I'm not supposed to sit there, but--
我第一次见他时也不喜欢他
Look, I didn't like him either when I first met him,
我对他很不友好
and I was pretty rude to him.
然后他表演得非常精彩
And then he got on stage, and he killed.
我觉得我欠他点什么
And I feel like I owe him something.
如果你能给他一个机会 那就太棒了
And if you could give him a spot, that would be amazing.
说实话 我只是 我们只是一起出来玩
Honestly, I just-- We're just hanging out.
我没有 我没让他这么做
I didn't-- I didn't ask him to do this.
我 我很高兴
I-- I'm happy...
下个让他上吧 给你个面子
All right, he can go on next. Only because you asked.
-谢谢你 埃斯蒂 -不客气
- Thank you, Estee. - You're welcome.
-谢谢 -不客气
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
我 谢谢你们俩
I... thank both of you.
我得想段子了
I gotta work on my set.
-我也要表演啊 -你得努力
- I'm performing! - You gotta earn that.
坐那边去
Sit over there!
你坐得越久 情况就越糟
The longer you sit here, the worse it gets.
-去吧 -谢谢 谢谢
- Come on. - Thank you. Thank you.
-自己去想吧 -好好加油
- Go work on it alone. - Take care of yourself.
-你必须一个人想 -老实说
- You have to do this alone. - Honestly...
老实说 小心点 因为她讨厌他
You know, honestly, be careful, because she hates him.
我为他担♥保♥过一次
I vouched for him once,
现在她不让我为任何人担♥保♥了
and now she won't let me vouch for anybody.
天哪 大多数人都相信你啊
Oh my God, and most people trust you.
你们还想听吗
Are you guys ready for some more?
接下来上台的这位哥们 你们会爱上他的
This next brother coming to the stage, you are gonna love him.
非常逗 为皮特·福尔摩斯鼓掌
Very funny. Give it up for the one and only Pete Holmes, y'all.
为皮特·福尔摩斯鼓掌
Clap it up for Pete Holmes, y'all!
让我看到你们的热情
Come on, show your love!
再热情点
Show your love for that brother.
掌声鼓励迈克·亚德 迈克·亚德
Keep it going for Mike Yard, everybody. That's Mike Yard.
在这里感觉很奇怪
It's weird, uh, it's weird to be here.
我应该说很高兴来到这里
"It's great to be here," Is what I'm supposed to say,
但我感觉很奇怪 因为我上次来这
but it's weird because the last time I was here,
就和我女朋友分手了
I broke up with my girlfriend.
好样的
Good for you.
你不是反♥社♥会♥者 很健康
You're not sociopaths. That's very healthy.
我告诉你们 对我来说 在这座城市
I'll tell you, the main difference between being single
单不单身的主要区别
and having a girlfriend, for me, in the city,
就是会错过火车
is missing the train.
我单身的时候 听好了
When I'm single-- listen to me now.
我单身的时候是不会错过的
When I'm single, I don't miss it.
我自己的时候能赶上
I make it. Just a free man,
我有自♥由♥的意志 就能赶上
just one free man with agency and free will, I make it.
在栅门听到声音后 我会估摸地铁从哪边来的
I hear it through the grate, and I assess its direction
就像在跟踪一群野牛一样
like a herd of buffalo that I'm stalking.
我开始下楼梯 把衬衫扯开一点
I'm right on the stairs. I tear my shirt open a little bit
感觉更男人了 我能赶上
just to feel more like a man... ... and I make it.
一次下两阶
Two at a time on the stairs.
这叫跳跃 我从楼梯上跳下来
That's a leap. I'm leaping... I'm leaping down the stairs.
我把地铁卡拿出来 潇洒一刷
I get my metro card out strong, I'm swiping in down the stairs.
在门关上前 我还有时间去拿帽子
Before the doors close, I have time to get my hat
因为我像印第安纳·琼斯一样把它扔在地上了
that I dropped like Indiana Jones,
戴上帽子 点支烟 吻一个陌生女人
put it on, light a cigarette, kiss a woman I don't know.
我赶上了
I make it!
但我有女朋友的时候 我从来没赶上过
But when I had a girlfriend, I never made it. I never made it.
我刷过了
I'm already swiped through,
因为我在楼梯上就把地铁卡拿出来了
'cause I get my metro card out on the stairs.
她到了旋转栅门后
She gets to the thing-- to the turnstyle,
打开她的包 去拿另一个包
she's opening her bag to retrieve another bag.
她包里还有个包 跟俄♥罗♥斯♥套娃似的
She's got a bag within a bag, Russian-doll system of baggery.
她有很多不能用的地铁卡
She's got all these dead metro cards.
地铁卡不能用了还留着干嘛
Why does she keep the dead metro cards?
你要弄剪贴簿吗
Are you scrapbooking?
请坐
Sit. Please.
那个
So...
你在楼下的表演很不错
the show downstairs was... good.
你可以来表演了
You can call in for spots.
-天啊 -真的吗
- Holy shit! - Really?
-皮特 -瞧瞧
- Pete! - Yeah, look at that.
恭喜你 但是埃斯蒂 你确定吗
Congrats, I suppose. But, Estee, are you sure about this?
不是吧
Come on, man. What the
-你这话什么意思 -拜托 丹
- hell are you talking about? - Come on, Dan.
问题是 皮特准备好了吗
The question is, is Pete ready to be here?
-这是问题所在 -他都在这了
- That's the question. - He's here!
你是说我应该开掉一个人吗
Are you suggesting I should get rid of somebody?
把丹开了
You get rid of Dan.
那可不行 我都在这表演十年了
You can't get rid of me. I've been here for 10 years.
-可以的 -我觉得至少
- Yes, you can. - I think, at least,
-让他重新面试吧 -为皮特干一杯
- he should reaudition. - Give this up to Pete.
-让他重新面试 -我每晚
- Reaudition him. - I reaudition
都能让大家捧腹大笑 这都是在面试
every night when I'm killing down there.
-谢谢 -恭喜你
- Thank you. - Congratulations.
-谢谢 -不客气