崩溃人生（2017）

Crashing S03E03

Part 5 July 15, 2020, 11:59 a.m.

I just want to thank you for everything you do.
-没问题 -他想
- You got it. - He's -- he, like, wants to--
他有一个关于情景喜剧的想法
He's got, like, a sitcom idea.
他想表演情景喜剧
He, like, wants to do a sitcom.
是的
I do. Well, yeah, that's -- that's true.
所以不只是单口相声了
So it's not just stand-up.
-就像你所做的一样 -嗯
- It's like, what you did, I wanna-- - Yeah.
我有一个想法
I have an idea about a guy
有个厌倦了公立学校的人
who's fed up with the public schools, right?
他让他的孩子们退学
And, um, so he pulls his kids out
自己在车♥库♥里教他们
and he starts teaching them in his garage.
出了名因为他很擅长
And then word gets out 'cause he's good at it.
-他很厉害 -嗯
- He's good at it. - Right.
所以别的小孩也开始过来上课了
So then other kids start coming,
这部剧叫《福尔摩斯学堂》
and it's called "Holmes School."
因为他姓福尔摩斯
His last name is Holmes.
皮特·福尔摩斯家庭学校
Pete Holmes, like homeschool.
所以这个人是
So it's a guy who...
引诱小孩去他的车♥库♥
who lures kids into his garage.
这不是《美国报道》讲的东西吗
Isn't that a Dateline episode?
不要那么说的话确实很奇怪
No, when you put it that way, it does sound creepy.
我会教他们
I-I teach them.
这是情景喜剧吗
Is it a sitcom, who knows?
或许这可行
I mean... you know what? Maybe. It probably could be.
把它贴在愿景板上这才是你要做的
Put that on your board. That's what you do.
把我的照片拿下来换上它
Take me down, put that idea on the board,
然后我们再看是否有奇迹发生
and then we'll see if it's magic.
听我说
Here's the thing. Listen to me.
你很有意思我想给你点建议
I wanna give you some advice. You seem like a funny guy.
登上舞台诚实幽默做你自己
Get on stage, man. Be honest, be funny, be yourself,
然后嘛
and, uh...
奇迹自然而然就来了
if it's supposed to happen, it's gonna happen.
-你干嘛 -别这样
- What's this? - Don't. Don't do that.
抱歉我太激动了
I'm sorry. I got excited. I got excited.
我们走了
We gotta go.
谢谢
Thank you.
-和你聊天真是太棒了 -好运
- It was so nice to talk to you. - Good luck.
-谢谢 -我喜欢你的帽子皮特真的
- Thank you. - I like the hat, Pete. I do like the hat.
谢谢
Thank you.
皮特醒醒
Pete, wake up.
相恋四周纪念快乐
Happy four-week-anniversary!
我有惊喜给你快起床
I have a surprise. Get up.
-有趣吗 -没有
- Was it funny? - No.
天啊
Oh, gosh.
-皮特 -这闹钟
- Pete! - What an alarm.
你想干嘛
What do you need?
快来
Come on!
-我们要干嘛 -等等
- What are we doing? - Wait.
-我不想吃炸饼 -等等别急
- I don't want a knish. - Wait, wait. Cool.
-那儿 -什么公交车吗
- Here - What? The bus?
再等等
Hold on.
《福尔摩斯学堂》
是你做的吗
You did that?
到处都是吗
Is that everywhere?
只有那一辆公交车
It's just that bus.
只有这周
Just this week.
我不知道该说什么好
I don't know what to say.
我想给你看这个
I wanted to show you
这样你就会相信自己了
so you would believe in yourself.
因为我很相信你
Because I believe in you.
这是我收到的最好的礼物
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
- I love you. - I love you, too.