保佑哈特

快要到感恩节了
So... it's almost Thanksgiving.
你知道这意味着什么
And you know what that means...
黑色星期五前夜
Black Friday Eve!
你打算买♥♥什么
What are you gonna buy?
维奥莱今年不想遵循我们的传统
Violet doesn't want to do our normal thing this year.
她简直疯了
She's got some crazy idea
想在这次感恩节上做点不同的事
of doing something different this Thanksgiving.
维奥莱和她美妙 狂野的想象力
Oh, Violet and her beautiful, wild imagination.
所以她想做什么
So what does she want to do?
她觉得我们该坐下来 吃一顿火鸡晚餐
She thinks we should just sit around and eat a big turkey dinner
互相聊天 表达感恩
and talk to each other and give thanks.
什么
What...?
是吧
I know, right?
维奥莱不懂感恩节真正的意义
Violet doesn't get what Thanksgiving's really about:
以最快速度吃完东西
wolfing down your food as fast as you can,
寒风中去每家玛超♥市♥排队到午夜
freezing your ass off in line at the Mega-Lo-Mart until midnight,
然后冲进去和你的朋友邻居争抢
and then stampeding in to fight your friends and neighbors
闻所未闻的折扣名牌产品
for unheard-of savings on brand-name products.
我今年会无比想念这活动的
Oh, I'm gonna miss it so bad this year.
但我想我们只能过一次传统感恩节了
But I guess we'll just do a traditional Thanksgiving.
你觉得感恩节什么地方让我抓狂吗
You know what drives me a little crazy about Thanksgiving?
在最后一刻前 没人会考虑他们的优雅
No one thinks about their grace until the last minute,
然后就一片混乱
and then it's just all over the place.
就像精神纳税日 而我是唯一的会计
It's like spiritual tax day, and I'm the only accountant.
更别说每个人第一句话都是
Not to mention the fact that everyone starts with,
主 谢谢你赐予我们这顿丰盛的晚餐
"Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful meal,"
那是我唯一没有参与的部分
and that's the one part I didn't do.
谢谢你们的妈妈 好吗
It's like, thank your freakin' mom, people.
-说得好[布道] -我就是在布道啊
- Preach! - I am.
保佑哈特
第一季 第八集
是不是很棒
Isn't this lovely?
大家坐在一起享受这顿美餐
Doesn't it feel nice to just sit down together?
是不是感觉很温馨
Share this very nice meal?
这总比为了一个机器人扫地机
This is already better than wrestling with strangers
跟陌生人摔跤好多了
over a robot vacuum cleaner.
那些在打折吗
Oh! Are those on sale?
-妈 -是的
- Mom... - Yep.
今年按你的方式过节感觉很棒 维奥莱
Feels great to do it your way this year, Violet.
是吗
Does it?
《圣经》 《圣经》
Mm, Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible.
《约翰福音》 第3章第16节
Johns, 3:16s.
圣灵
Holy Ghost.
上帝 让我好好看看
Oh, Lord, just let me have a taste
我可爱的开门大抢♥购♥传♥单♥
of my sweet, sweet door busters circular.
Crock-Pot慢炖锅买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
Crock-Pots are buy one get one free.
我告诉你什么是废物 这次感恩节
I'll tell you what's a crock, this Thanksgiving.
基本上所有东西都半价
Practically everything's half off.
玛莎·史都华床罩
Martha Steward bedspreads...
迈克高仕前褶工装七分裤
Pleat-front cargo capris by Michael Kors...
斯酷凯蒂头戴式降噪耳机
Over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones by Skullcandy.
够了 你们
Oh, come on, you guys.
永别了让内特浴后喷雾
See you never, Jean Naté After-Bath Splash
以及祖梵平衡保湿礼品套装
with Moisture Replenishing Complex Gift Set by Jovan.
好了
Okay.
我们祈祷吧
Well, let us pray.
亲爱的天父
Dear Heavenly Father...
请保佑我们 这个美好的家庭
Please bless us, this beautiful family.
主 请保佑我们已过世的亲人
And, Lord, please bless our loved ones who have passed on.
我想想
Let's see...
乔治·迈克尔 吉姆·瓦尼 也就是"嘿 弗恩"
George Michaels, Jim Varney, aka "Hey, Vern."
还有谁 还有谁
Um, who else... who else?
来自科克星球的默克 西尔斯
Oh, Mork from Ork. Sears,
罗伊·克拉克森 硬汉兰迪·萨瓦奇
Roy Clarkson-- oh, Macho Randy Savage,
当然还有莱娅公主
Princess Leias, of course.
我看看 还有什么
Let's see, what else?
我感激星星就像我们一样
I'm thankful that stars are just like us.
-我感激那些打扮漂亮的人 -说阿门吧
- I'm thankful for those who wore it best. - Just say amen.
-阿门 妈 说阿门 -为那些打扮不好看的人祈祷
- Amen, Mother. Say amen. - And praying for those who did not.
-阿门 说阿门 -保佑我们的军队
- Amen. Say amen. - Plus, bless our troops.
希望这是他们在中东的最后一年
May this be their last year in the Middle East.
最后摆脱
And please, please,
把从前的兰迪·奎德带回来
bring Randy Quaid back to us, how he was.
谢谢你 阿门
Thank you, amen.
-老天 -太荒谬了
- Good Lord! - That was insane.
妈 你的发言太长了 肉汤都起膜了
Mother, your grace took so long, the gravy grew skin.
我去简单加热下
Ugh, let me nuke it real quick.
谁想去关灯和电视
Who wants to hit the lights and TV?
我去
I'll do it.
可以开始加热了
And that's a go for nuke-a-fication.
好的 开始
Okay, here we go.
好疼
Ouch!
那微波炉会把我们都变成
That microwave is gonna turn us all
《丝克伍事件》里的梅特尔·斯特里布斯[梅姨]
into Myrtle Streebs from Silkwood.
前晚上把我的美甲都融化了
Yeah, it melted my acrylics the other night.
这样好了 以后不会了
You know what? This stops now.
我这就去修好微波炉
I'm gonna fix that microwave right quick.
记得我们买♥♥这台微波炉的那年感恩节吗
Remember the Thanksgiving when we first bought this microwave?
-黑色星期五 十年前 -嗯
- Black Friday, ten years ago. - Yeah.
不可理喻 这个家崇拜了太久的黑色星期五
Unbelievable. This family has worshipped Black Friday for so long,
已经有民间传说了
there's folklore about it.
安静 那其实是个很美的故事
Oh, hush. It's actually a really beautiful story.
维奥莱 你当时还只是个初学走路的孩子
Violet, you were just a toddler...
保佑布兰妮和凯文·芬德林[应为Federline]
Bless Britney and Kevin Fenderleen,
愿他们的爱情能走过几个世纪
may their love endure for many centuries to come.
保佑军队
Bless the troops,
希望这是他们在中东的最后一年
may this be their last year in the Middle East.
谢谢你 主 赐予我们兰迪·奎德
Thank you, Lord, for Randy Quaid's
在《断背山》里的大转变
dramatic turn in Brokeback Mountains.
天 他的连胜势头停不下来了
Boy, is he on a hot streak that just will not end.
阿门
Amen.
好了 打包吧
Okay, bag it up.
-白肉还是黑肉 -都要 蔓越莓酱
- White meat or dark meat? - Both. Cranberry sauce?
这还用问 别忘了土豆
Are you really asking me that? Oh, don't forget the potatoes.
珍妮 我不会忘记土豆的
Jenny, I'm not gonna forget the potatoes.
今年的火鸡不错 妈
Good turkey this year, Mother.
我还没吃到 我还在消化
Haven't gotten there yet. I'm still tunneling through
这个焗烤青豆
this green bean casserole.
我的叉子把装肉汤的袋子戳破了
Uh-oh, my spork punctured the gravy bag.
只能像宇航员一样吸掉了
Gonna have to suck it out like an astronaut.
你们把愚蠢的打折活动置于你的孩子 你的孙女之前
You put a dumb sale ahead of your child, your grandchild?
听着 你在你的婴儿车里很安全
Listen, you were safe and sound in your stroller.
你吃了几乎一整袋焗烤青豆
And you ate almost an entire baggie of green bean casserole.
-你可喜欢了 -好了
- You loved it. - Okay.
修好了
And it is fixed.
现在又会这样
Well, now it does that.
看看它
Oh, look at her.
甚至有传送带
It's even got a carousel.
你知道这意味着什么吗 均温
And you know what that means? Even heat.
珍妮 你今晚准备抢♥购♥什么
Jenny! What item are you ready to die for tonight?
我是来抢微波炉的
Oh, well, I'm here to snag me a microwave.
我等不及让人撞头了
I cannot wait to knock some noggins together.
我的梦想是里面失控 这样我就能打劫了
My dream is that it gets so crazy in there that I can just loot.
-我连钱包都没带 -莫娜
- I didn't even bring my wallet. - Mona?
-布兰达 看看那人 -莫娜
- Brenda, look at that guy, y'all. - Mona?
莫娜 莫娜
Mona? Mona?
这是我听过的最假的名字
The most fake-ass name I've ever heard in my life.
-他想插队 -莫娜 莫娜
- He's about to cut. - Mona? Mona?
交给我
On it!
-不准插队 -莫娜
- No cutting. - Mona?
我们都知道没有莫娜这人 回去排队
We all know there's no Mona. Back of the line.