保佑哈特

天啊
Oh, my Lord!
太具体了
So detailed.
我接受你的门廊臭鼬 顺便再给你的灌木情♥色♥修剪下
I'll see your porch skunk and raise you an erotic topiary.
享受你的草坪大屌♥
Enjoy your lawn wiener, y'all!
你们玩得开心吗
You guys having a good time?
关了灯 你在厨房♥干什么
What are you doing standing in the kitchen with the lights off?
我在干什么 我不知道
Mm, what am I? I don't know.
也许我只是在等你们长大吧
Maybe I'm just waiting for you two to grow up, I guess.
你们所在做的事已经传遍全城了
You know, it's all around town, what you guys are doing.
亲爱的 这叫做正义
Baby, it's called justice.
维奥莱 你长大后 就会明白
Violet, when you become an adult, you'll see
大人就是这样解决问题的
that this is how grown-ups work out problems with each other.
愚蠢的恶作剧 R级修剪灌木
Stupid gross pranks? R-rated topiaries?
-大人是这么交流的吗 -当然
- That's how adults communicate? - Sure is.
你们打算用这个做什么
And what were you gonna do with this?
像《教父》里那样在她床上放一个马头
Put it in her bed like The Godfather horse head
给她传达一条信息
to send a message.
什么信息
What's the message?
她是垃圾
That she's trash.
妈 你知道我和克丽丝托琳孙女在同一所学校上学
Mom, you know I go to school with Crystalynn's granddaughter.
对哦
Oh. Right.
你 你让我无地自容
And you're just-- ugh. You're embarrassing me.
-什么 -你丢人
- What? - You are embarrassing.
-维奥莱怎么样 -不知道
- How's Violet? - I don't know.
我还没看到她 就去上学了
She left for school before I saw her.
-我感觉好内疚 -我也是
- I-I feel so bad. - Yeah, me, too.
我感觉很难受
I feel awful.
所以我要鼓足勇气
Which is why it's gonna take every ounce of strength I have
拿起电♥话♥ 预约一个脱衣舞男警♥察♥
to pick up that phone and order a stripper cop
去克丽丝托琳天使孙子的啜饮派对
over to Crystalynn's grandangel's sip and see.
不行 妈
Ugh. No, Mother.
但你知道吗 我们要过去
But you know what? We are going over there.
去道歉
To apologize.
我们得结束这不和 因为我们是成年人
We need to put this feud to rest because we are grown adults,
我们不该这么孩子气
and we are better than this.
我也不想让维奥莱觉得我丢人
And I don't want Violet to be embarrassed of me.
行吧 我会过去
Fine. I'll go over there,
但哪怕她呼吸的方式不对
but if she so much as breathes the wrong way,
她的啜饮派对就要
her sip and see's gonna get a visit from
迎接"法律的大屌♥"了
the "Long Weiner of the Law."
好了 汤米叔叔 我要带你去见奶奶
All right, Uncle Tommy. I'm taking you back to Meemaw.
但愿她没有醉倒在台球桌下
Hopefully she's not drunk under a pool table by now.
她在这工作
Oh, she's working here?
亲爱的 一切可好
Hey, shug. Everything okay?
宝贝
Oh, sweet pea.
你肯定以为我是在这里喝酒 对吧
I bet you thought I was drinking here, didn't you?
没有 是的
Nah. Well, yeah.
大约一个月前在这找了第二份工作
Took this as a second job about a month ago.
给家里人买♥♥吃的 买♥♥穿的
It costs a lot of money to feed and clothe all the critters
开销很大
I got running around my house.
而且 我还在为今年的碎片节存钱
Plus, I'm saving up for this year's Shredfest,
有罗布·赞比 异教乐团 还能和科恩乐队见面
featuring Rob Zombie, The Cult and a meet and greet with Korn.
过来给我抱抱
Get in here and give me a hug.
有我在呢 我爱你 奶奶
I got your back. I love you, Meemaw.
我也爱你 宝贝
Aw. Love you, too, baby.
我去给你们弄点吃的
Now let me get y'all something to eat.
你花了这么多时间陪我的破碎球
I really owe you for spending so much time
我欠你个大人情
with my little wrecking ball.
破碎球 他确实是
Wrecking ball. He sure is.
这样吧 奶奶
You know what, Meemaw?
介意我再陪他几个小时吗
You mind if I kept him for just a few more hours?
韦恩 你不是要
Hey, Wayne. I thought you were starting work
-下周才开始上班吗 -是的
- on this site next week. - Yeah, I am.
但我想带个人来
But I just wanted to stop by with someone
他或许今天就能帮上忙
who might be able to help you out today.
我的汤米叔叔
Ah. My Uncle Tommy.
汤米叔叔不能在这工作
Uncle Tommy can't work here.
你不用称其为工作
Oh, you don't have to call it work.
这对他来说就是玩
This is all play to him.
尽管去吧 T叔叔
Have at it, Uncle T.
谢了 韦恩
Thanks, Wayne.
我们可以取消那个落锤破碎机了
Yeah, we can cancel that wrecking ball.
焕然一新的汤米叔叔 过来
Aw. It's like a whole new Uncle Tommy. Come here.
该死 打中我的蛋了
Damn it! Right in the balls!
你什么毛病
What is wrong with you, boy?
-不 -不不不
- Nope. - No, no, no.
-克丽丝托琳 别 -别关门
- Crystalynn, no. - Don't shut the door.
我们是来道歉的
We came to say that we're sorry.
我想跟你道歉
I would like to apologize to you.
我们还给你准备了件小礼物
And we even brought you a little gift.
我宁愿去拆炸♥弹♥客寄来的水果花束包裹
I'd sooner unwrap an Edible Arrangement from the Unabomber.
你来打开
You do it.
一件"奶奶家发生的事就留在奶奶家"连体衣
A "What Happens at Grandmaw's Stays at Grandmaw's" Onesie.
亲爱的 我很抱歉
Baby, I'm so sorry.
我也很抱歉 这感觉太棒了
I'm sorry, too. This feels so good.
你们进来坐坐吧
Oh, y'all, please come in for a minute.
真的吗 你确定吗
Really? Are you sure?
当然 贝蒂
Betty, I am.
各位 这是我的好友贝蒂·哈特
Everybody, this is my good friend Betty Hart
以及她漂亮女儿珍妮·哈特
and her gorgeous daughter Jenny Hart.
你们来看看我的天使孙子吧
Now y'all come here and meet my grandangel,
崔斯腾·普尔·亨德森
Tristen Poole Henderson.
可爱到想把他吃了
I could eat him.
我也是 吃掉他
Aw, me, too. Eat him up.
我要吃了他
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna eat him.
我来捡吧
Ooh, I'll get it.
闻闻他的头
Oh! Smell his head.
太香了
Oh, heaven.
只有天上才有的香味
Sheer heaven.
棒
Oh... yes.
我想崔斯腾·普尔·亨德森宝宝
I think Baby Tristen Poole Henderson
刚刚上了第一节关于原谅的课
just got his first lesson in forgiveness.
小维 抱歉我们之前出格了
Vi, I'm sorry for how out of hand we got.
我们不会再那么做了 我们已经跟克丽丝托琳道了歉
We're-we're done with all that and we apologized to Crystalynn.
如果你真这么做了 那我为你骄傲 妈
Well, if you did do that, then I'm proud of you, Mom.
谢谢你帮我们醒悟过来
Thank you for helping us come to our senses.
真高兴我们终于平息[压扁]了争吵[牛肉]
So glad we finally squashed that beef.
你或许平息了 但我将其浸泡
Maybe you squashed it, but I marinated it
倒进了番茄酱里
and doused it in ketchup.
然后扔给一头狼 然后我猎捕了那头狼
And then I threw it to a wolf and then I hunted that wolf
剥掉皮 生吃了
and then I skinned it and ate it raw.
妈 你在说什么
Mother, what are you talking about?
我一发现是克丽丝托琳
The second I found out it was Crystalynn
喊的"垃圾双胞胎"后 我就知道该复仇了
who yelled "Trash twins," I knew it was revenge time.
我知道我得开启核武模式
And I knew I had to go "Nucular."
第一步 在维奥莱以前的儿童泳池下堆放垃圾
Phase one: stash refuse under Violet's old kiddie pool,
包括一块过熟的野餐西瓜
including one overripe picnic watermelon.
第二步 把克丽丝托琳的糖罐头放在维奥莱画架旁边
Phase two: prop the Crystalynn head piñata against Violet's easel.
我知道她会看到 然后来找你对质 珍妮
I knew she'd see it and confront you, Jenny.
我把这技术叫做激活小孩
I call this technique Activating the Child.
你完全上当了 小维
And you fell right in line, Vi.
维奥莱的小孩怒气
Soon as Violet's preteen ire
一旦发泄给你后 珍妮
burned your butt like a laser, Jenny,
第三步就启动了 因为我需要你
phase three was in motion, for I needed you
真诚地道歉 好让我们能进入克丽丝托琳家
to gain us entrée into Crystalynn's with a sincere apology,
你完美得做到了
which you did beautifully.
你被你珍贵的宽仁之心冲昏了头
You were so high on your precious forgiveness
完全没注意到
that you didn't even notice
我女士衬衫下的西瓜
the watermelon under my loosest peasant-cut blouse
或者我包里的恶臭垃圾
or the bundle of stinky trash in my tote.