保佑哈特

咦咘嘟嘟
Yeep-a-doodle.
你好吗
How we doing today?
绿点房♥屋检查员
Greenpoint Building Inspector.
好啊 你是来欣赏我的手工艺的吗
Oh, hey. Stopped by to admire my handiwork?
不 我是来告诉你这个建筑物
No. I am here to tell you that this structure
违反了我们所有的防火规范 区划法 建筑规范
violates every fire code, zoning code, building code,
以及社会规范
and social code we have.
所以我联♥系♥了他们
That's why I called 'em.
芭比·内尔 管好你自己的事
Bobbie Nell, mind your own business.
我的公♥司♥倒闭了 你知道的
My business went under, and you know that!
我叫来检查员
I called the inspector on your ass
是因为那玩意看着就像魔鬼教堂
'cause that thing looks like a devil church.
闭嘴 芭比·内尔
Hey, shut up, Bobbie Nell!
那是艺术工作室 不是魔鬼教堂
It's an art studio, not a devil church.
我看就像魔鬼教堂
Looks like a devil church to me.
我再三强调
I cannot emphasize this enough.
这绝对不是魔鬼教堂
It is absolutely not a devil church.
真希望你没这么强调
Oh, I-I wish you hadn't been so emphatic
因为教堂可以有一百万的特殊免税
'cause there's, like, a million special exemptions for churches,
包括魔鬼教堂
even devil churches,
但鉴于你没考虑这个
but since you really slammed the door on that idea,
这建筑得在本周内拆掉
it's gonna have to come down by the end of the week.
什么 你不能告诉一个男人
What? You can't tell a man
在他女友母亲的土地上能做什么不能做什么
what he can and can't do on his girlfriend's mother's property.
如果你想上诉
Well, if you want to appeal,
你可以去分区委员会
you can take it up with the zoning board,
但他们不喜欢
but they do not take kindly
这种另类 古怪的建筑
to alternative, whimsical structures like this.
我会去找他们的
Oh, I will take it up with them,
他们会看到这是个完全正常
and they'll see that this is a completely normal
实用的建筑 一点不古怪
and practical structure, no whimsy at all.
看我坐龙尾巴
Look at me on a dragon's tail!
看到没 那就叫古怪
See that? That right there is whimsy.
投资我的未来 我会赚到巨款
Investing in my future, y'all Gonna make a mint, boy
梦想成真 抱虫
It's all happening Hug N' Bugs.
-妈 -珍妮
- Mother! - Jenny!
逮到你了
Hug 'N Busted.
偷偷到这来偷我的抱虫
Sneaking in here to steal my Hug N' Bugs.
-你最好告诉我怎么回事 -你最好告诉我怎么回事
- Oh, you better start talking. - You better start talking.
别忽悠人了 你个小犹大
Y'all, stop messing, you little Judas.
你拿我的抱虫干什么
What are you doing with my Hug N' Bugs?
我要拿去卖♥♥ 这样我们的水才不会停
I'm selling them so our water doesn't get shut off.
你手里拿的什么
And wh-what the hell is that in your hand?
你说你不会再买♥♥的
You said you weren't gonna buy any more.
超划算的一笔交易
This was a killer deal.
一个叫"官方抱虫34!"的疯子
Some nutso named "Hugbugofficial34!"
蠢到把限♥量♥版的
was dumb enough to sell a limited edition
女医生 水果国度抱虫以150块的价格
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman Fruitopia Hug N' Bug to me
卖♥♥给我
for 150 bucks.
妈 我就是"官方抱虫34!"
Mother, I'm "Hugbugofficial34!"
那你就是"杰森·莫玛粉丝$$"了
Which I guess makes you "Jasonmomoafan$$"
你怎么知道
How do you know?
因为这个抱虫是我卖♥♥给你的
Because you bought that Hug N' Bug from me!
-你在网上骗我 这可是联邦重罪 -放屁
- So you lied to me online? Which is a felony. - Not even close.
谢谢你让我成了傻子
Well, thank you very much for making me into a sucker.
我赚到的这些钱其实是我们自己的钱
And all that extra money I made was just our money.
我们的水肯定要被停了
Oh, our water is definitely gonna get shut off.
得了吧
Oh, please.
他们才不能停掉我们的水 你能停掉雨吗
They can't turn water off. Can you turn off rain?
他们能停掉大海吗 他们能怎么做
Can they turn off the ocean? What are they gonna do?
到我们家来往所有水龙头里塞上软木塞吗
Come over and put corks in all our faucets?
R-E-X-P-A-T-E
搞清它需要成为什么
Find out what it needs to be.
你不是说不会停水的吗
Not gonna shut off the water off, huh?
别激动
Now, y'all, don't get hysterical.
不 妈妈 我就要激动
No, Mother. I am gonna get hysterical.
我们没水了 维奥莱明早还要去上学
We have no water, Violet's got school in the morning,
我只能用汽水洗掉我的面膜了
and I'm gonna have to remove this mask with Diet Dr. Mister!
因为在窗户上安装猫箱会增加
Since adding cat boxes to your windows would increase
住♥宅♥的建筑面♥积♥
the square footage of your residence,
恐怕我们只能拒绝你的许可证
I'm afraid we're gonna have to deny your permit.
可是奥兹.爪子本[奥兹·奥斯本]需要阳光
But Ozzy Pawsbourne needs his sunshine!
它有季节性情感障碍
He has seasonal affective disorder, babies.
那你和奥兹.爪子本
Well, then you and Ozzy Pawsbourne
当初就该看规范的
should've read the dang code.
-兰迪 滚出去 -够了 兰迪
- Randy, get out of here! - That's enough, Randy!
下一位 未经许可
All right, next up, a non-permitted,
用废品修建的蒂姆·波顿风建筑
Tim Burton-esque structure made of found objects.
听着 我都不知道为什么要听这个
Look, I don't even know why we're hearing this.
我们要去吃午餐吗
Should we all just get lunch?
我们都要吃泰餐 泰餐 泰餐 泰餐
We all want Thai. Thai? Thai? Thai?
泰餐 泰餐 泰餐
Thai? Thai? Thai?
-泰餐 -不去那个果汁店了吗
- Thai? - Is the juice place off the table?
吃午餐 德妮思
For lunch? Denise!
我们懂 你是素食主义者
We get it. You're vegan.
你可以在泰国餐馆里吃到素食
You can find some at the Thai place.
快 我们把这上诉否决 赶紧走吧
Come on, let's just deny this and move on.
等下 等下
Wait, hang on a second.
陪审团的女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
我修建这房♥屋的时候 也许没有
I may not have followed all the rules and regulations
遵循所有规章制度
when I built this structure,
但有的区域不受城市法限制
but some zones can't be contained by city laws.
我是说这个区域
I'm talking about this zone right here.
他指他的乳♥头♥
He means his nipple, baby!
-兰迪 他不是那个意思 -兰迪 别闹
- Randy! That's not what he meant. - Randy, come on, man.
不 我指我的心
No. My heart.
这个小屋是给我女友女儿维奥莱修建的
This structure is for my girlfriend's daughter Violet.
她爱那个工作室 我也爱她
She loves that studio, and I love her
我愿意尽我所能让她开心
and will do anything in my power to make her happy.
她爸爸 唐·雷诺兹 也许有钱帅气
Now, her father, Don Reynolds, may be rich and handsome...
-人很好 -他的泳池公♥司♥生意很好
- Great guy! - I mean, he's got that successful pool business.
他安装了我家泳池 干得很不错
Oh, he installed my pool. Did a great job.
否决
Denied.
抱歉 韦恩 替我们向唐问好 好吗
Sorry about that, Wayne, but say hey to Don for us, won't you?
谁准备好去吃泰餐了
Who's ready for Thai?
泰餐 泰餐
Thai? Thai?
我们不能恢复你们的水 因为你们账户里的钱不足
We can't turn your water back on because your payment bounced.
如果我们用
Well, what if we paid you
比钱更好的东西支付给你呢
with something that's even better than money?
这是科林·鲍威尔 玛卡雷娜版抱虫真品
This is an authentic Colin Powell Macarena Hug N' Bug.
-品相良好 -带有原始标签
- Mint condition. - Original tag.
真品认证书
Certificate of authenticity.
我懂的 你不能说出来
Okay, I get it. You can't say the words.
我就把它留在这儿 然后我们转过去
I'll just leave this here, and now we are turning around,
再转回来
and now we're turning back around, and...
抱虫还在这儿
And the Hug N' Bug is still there.
我给你们看个东西
Mm, let me show y'all something, okay?
艾克索·罗斯 百威青蛙
Axl Rose Budweiser Frogs.
不小心用了两根头巾的那个
The one that was accidentally made with two bandanas?
那个超级稀有的
Oh, that one is ultra rare.
拥有这个的蠢货能赚好多钱
The Bug-head who owns this is gonna make a mint.
不 这是我的售卖♥♥品
Mm-mm, no. That's my listing.
我已经放在网上五年了 无人问津
I had that thing up there for five years, and not one bite.
妈 你竞拍的时候有过对手吗
Mother, did anyone ever bid against you?
没有
No, no one.
该死 我明白了
Oh, shoot, y'all. I see what happened.
这就是经典的"我把我们的钱
This is one of those classic "I wasted all our money
浪费在了无用易燃玩具上"的情况
on worthless, flammable toys" Situations.
经典
Classic.
我知道你不能给我现金
I know you can't give me cash,
但或许你能帮我个忙