保佑哈特

不要穿 你不能
We're not doing that. You will not cover
-把你的好身材都遮住 -住手
- all this goodness. - Stop it.
珍妮 你知道我家有很多布兰达
Jenny, you know I come from a long line of Brendas.
我妈叫布兰达 我外婆叫布兰达
My mom was a Brenda, my grandma was a Brenda,
我姨妈们叫布兰达 我堂姐叫布兰达
my aunts are Brendas, my cousin's a Brenda,
我侄女叫布兰达 我们都是骚货
my niece is a Brenda and we are all total sluts.
我们都是 但我们是好人 人人都爱我们
All of us. But we are good people, and everybody loves us.
无意冒犯你和其他布兰达
No offense to you and the Brendas,
但这并不能帮到我
but that doesn't really help me at all.
我不仅需要这份工作
Not only do I need this job,
我还得多上几轮班
I'm gonna have to start picking up extra shifts.
我刚得知艺术学校有多烧钱
I just found out how much art school costs,
显然相当于半个饼干餐厅
and apparently, it's half a damn biscuit restaurant.
我意思是耶稣芭比得淡定点
All I'm saying is Jesus-Barbie needs to chill.
地狱见 露易丝 我不干了
See you in hell, Louise, 'cause I quit.
-露易丝听到我辞职了吗 -没 她离这很远
- Did Louise hear me quit? - No. You-- She's too far away.
珍妮 看样子你需要到我这来工作
Jenny, sounds like you need to come work for me.
我知道你以前跳舞很棒
I know you used to be a real good dancer.
巴德 我不会跳脱衣舞的
Bud, I am not stripping.
你要不过来在快餐部打下手吧
Well, why don't you at least come on down and man the buffet,
或者说像女人一样帮忙
or "Wo-man" It.
你什么都不用脱
You don't even have to take anything off.
你只需要穿上比基尼上衣
All you have to do is throw on a bikini top,
最好是霓虹的
preferably a neon one,
搅拌粗玉米粉 这样表面就不会形成薄膜
and stir the grits so they don't get that film on top.
我很满意我在这里穿衣提供食物的工作
I'm happy here serving food with my clothes on.
根本赚不到钱 还"深藏不露"
Making zero dollars U.S. And hiding your light in a bushel.
真可惜
What a shame.
好吧 我要份七饼二鱼
All right, I'll have the Seven Loaves and Fishes Platter.
双份卷心菜沙拉 我付钱
Double slaw. I'll pay for it.
五 十
Okay. Five, ten... Ugh.
我要怎么办啊
What in the world am I gonna do?
珍妮 怎么了 亲爱的
Jenny, what's wrong, shug?
-人们会为钱祈祷吗 -当然会
- Do people ever pray for money? - Yeah. Oh, they do.
每时每刻
Every living moment.
我们聊天这会儿就有四个人在祈祷 五个了
Just now I got four while we were talking. Five.
要我给你持续更新吗 还是
Do you want me to keep updating you or...
-六个 九个 -不不 不用了
- Six. Nine. - Oh, no, no, no. No. It's okay.
那我也可以为钱祈祷 对吗
So I can pray for money, right?
因为我家总是破产
'Cause, see, my family's always broke,
一旦有点钱
and the minute we get a little of anything,
马上就会再度破产 就像是性病
the broke keeps coming back. Kind of like a VD.
你当然可以为钱祈祷 珍妮
Of course you can pray for money, Jenny.
-但我不能给你 -我知道
- I just can't give it to you. - I know.
要是我打个响指 一切就变好
Well, if I snap my fingers and made everything okay,
那生活会变成什么样
what would life be?
更好 完美
Better? Perfect?
韦恩在尽力了
Wayne's trying his best,
但你也知道 他喜欢用自己的方式做事
but you know, he does things kind of his own way.
要是他的某个商业构想能实现就好了
It'd be great if one of his business ideas worked out.
这次养鸵鸟 他真的很需要成功
He could really use a win with this ostrich thing.
他一直拼命想要它们交♥配♥
He's been trying like heck to get them to mate,
但它们就是不肯
but they are just not having each other.
七成的鸵鸟
You know, 70% of ostriches
会喜欢上它们的人类主人
become attracted to their human owners.
现在不会是这情况吧
You don't think that's going on, do you?
除非"喜欢"指的是咬他的鸡鸡和屁♥股♥的话
Only if "Becoming attracted" Means biting his ween and butt.
就是这么表达爱意的
That is exactly how it manifests.
为什么这样总是令人尴尬
Why is it so embarrassing when that happens?
因为听上去像是放屁
'Cause it sounds like a fart.
没错 这就是原因
That is right. That's why.
珍妮 我知道你生活不易
Jenny, I know your life is difficult,
但是正是生活里的困难造就了我们
but the difficulties of life make us who we are.
我不想你受苦
God knows I don't want you to suffer,
但是受苦和挣扎是不可避免的
but suffering and struggle are unavoidable.
这是生活的一部分
It's part of the whole deal.
你需要的一切都在你身边 珍妮
Everything you need is all around you, Jenny.
但你就不能给我点
But can't you just give me a little something
能现在帮到我的东西吗
that can help me right now?
你妈妈在冰箱里放了一瓶白仙粉黛
Your mom put a bottle of white zin in the freezer.
回家后立刻拿出来 不然会爆♥炸♥
Take it out immediately when you get home, or it's gonna explode.
-还有韦恩的鸵鸟 -怎么了
- Also, uh, Wayne's ostriches... - Oh, Lord, what?
它们永远不会下蛋
They're never going to lay any eggs.
-它们都是公的 -什么
- They're boys. - What?!
-是的 -老天
- Yup. Yeah. - Oh, Lord.
换句话说 你有两根热狗 但是没有面包
To put it another way: you got two hot dogs, but no buns.
有趣点来说 你有两瓶啤酒 但是没有啤酒保温套
Or another fun way to say it is: you got two beers, but no coozy.
你有两根香蕉 但是没有甜甜圈
You got two bananas and no doughnuts.
有两根食指 但是没有OK标志
Two index fingers and no okay sign.
有两根酥炸芝士条 但是没有农场 有...
Two mozzarella sticks and no ranch. You got...
雷纳德 我们懂了
Leonard, we get it.
我不想你过度操心钱的事 韦恩
You know, I don't want you to worry so much about money, Wayne,
我们还有选择
'cause, you know, we've got options.
巴德给我提供了一个夜班工作
Bud offered me a night job.
巴德 你是说基维特大道上巴德洋娃娃绅士俱乐部
Bud? You mean Bud's of Bud's Babydoll's gentlemen's club
兼袒胸洗车店的巴德吗
slash topless car wash on Kivett Boulevard?
我从没去过
Which I've never been to.
绝对不行 -不不 我不会跳脱衣舞
- Oh, hell no! - No, no, no, not-not stripping.
就是在快餐部搅拌粗玉米粉
Just stirring the grits at the buffet.
这是份不入流的工作
That's a gateway job.
是啊 可以赚到额外的钱
Yeah. Gateway to extra cash.
珍妮 你不用再找别的工作
Jenny, you don't have to take another job.
我会处理
I'm gonna handle this.
如果我不能让它们下蛋 我就要驯服它们
If I can't get them to lay eggs, I'm gonna break them,
我就可以骑它们 训练它们表演戏法
so I can ride them and train them to do tricks.
你知道默特尔海滩有个人
Did you know there's a guy in Myrtle Beach
训练长颈鹿做尚格·云顿式劈叉吗
who trained a giraffe to do Jean-Claude Van Damme splits?
人人花很多钱去看那些表演
People pay a lot of money to see those shows.
如果你确信会这么简单的话
Well, if you're sure it's gonna be that easy.
就是这么简单 看着
It is. Watch.
坐下 我的天
Sit. Ow, oh! Oh, my God!
-又来 同一个地方 -天
- Right again! Same place! - Lord.
-同一个地方 -肿块刚消掉
- Same exact place! - We just got the swelling down.
-该死 -你知道
- Ow! Ow! Son of a-- Ow! - You know,
你可以去夏洛特
you could go to Charlotte,
认识个有钱的好男人
meet a nice guy, y'all, with a little bit of money.
妈 打住
Mother, stop.
你知道我深爱韦恩
You know I love Wayne to death,
他在过去十年里一直陪在我身边
and he's really been there for me the last ten years,
维奥莱把他视作爸爸
and Violet loves him like a dad,
我知道他永远不会成为Jay-Z什么的
and I know he's never gonna be Jay-Z or anything.
杰兹
"Jazy"?
就是他娶了碧通丝
Oh, he's the one that's married to "Betronce."
-不是 妈妈 是碧昂丝 -上帝啊 是碧通丝
- No, Mother, it's Beyoncé. - Oh, Lord, it's Betronce, y'all.
别打扰上帝 相信我 是碧昂丝
Don't bother the Lord with this. Just trust me, it is Beyoncé.
我想我们只能求同存异
Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.
维奥莱的生父不是最棒的 没错
Violet's biological diddy was not the greatest, yes...
唐很有钱 但他是个蠢货
Don is rich, but he is a total tool.
他愤怒
He's angry and...
总是古怪地晒伤 即使在冬天
always weirdly sunburned, even in the winter.
他以前经常叫我别吃了
And he used to tell me I was done eating
用手戳我的肚子
by poking me in the stomach.
他本可以给你和维奥莱提供很棒的生活
He could've given you and Violet a great life.
你应得的生活 你♥爸♥爸
The life that you deserve, the life that...
给我们的生活
that your daddy gave us.
所有账单都会付清 我们会有无数的科尔士礼金券
All the bills would be paid. We'd be flush in Kohl's Cash.
我就能终于拥有金鹰吉普车
I could finally get my Jeep with the eagle on it.
我可以让这些蜘蛛纹知道谁是老大
I could show these spider veins who's boss.
维奥莱可以去艺术学校
Violet could go to her art school.
我能做到
I can do this.