保佑哈特

Bless The Harts S01E07

Part 4 Feb. 19, 2020, 9:51 a.m.

不可能了
Oh, there's no getting out of it.
那贱♥人♥把我耍得团团转
That bitch played me like a fiddle.
我还一直以为你是弱的那环
All this time I thought you were the weak link,
原来我才是
and it turns out I was.
贝蒂我们能挺过去的我们只需要
Betty, we can get through this. All we have to do
每天少喝19杯星巴克
is just drink 19 fewer cups of Starbucks a day.
妈加油
Mom, come on.
别放弃自己
Don't give up on yourself.
我希望这会是一次特别的海滩之旅
I wanted this to be a special beach trip for us,
就像以前那样
just like the old days.
但你现在只会记得
But now you're just gonna remember it
我在旅行中出糗
as the trip where I made a fool of myself
给了这些傻帽战胜女人的满足感
and gave those goobers the satisfaction of beating a woman.
-妈别管他们了 -把球给我
- Mom, forget about them. - Just get my ball.
我宁愿弃权也不想再在
I'd rather forfeit than beef it anymore
这些混♥蛋♥面前击球了
in front of these dip-rods.
什么鬼
What the...?
妈
Mom.
看
Look.
他们对你使用了磁铁
They're using magnets on you.
-什么 -绝对是古斯干的
- What? - It's totally Gus.
他为了让他的哥们获胜不惜使用卑劣伎俩
He's got some Scooby-Doo crap going on so his buddy can win.
我要把这杆子缠在他晒伤的脖子上
I'm gonna wrap this club around his sunburned neck!
等等妈
Wait, wait. Mom.
如果你能赢呢
What if you just... won?
怎么赢他们放了磁铁不可能
How can I? There's magnets. It's impossible.
你让球从天而降就可以
Not if you drop it from the top.
那我得把它打向风车
I would have to bank it off the windmill,
然后飞机然后爬上那棵树
then the airplane, and try to ladder it up to that tree,
祈祷它还剩足够的旋转
and then hope it still had enough spin
滚过那树枝
to roll up that branch.
亲爱的这只有百万分之一的机会才能打中
Oh, honey, that is a million-to-one shot.
你就是百万里挑一的人
Well, you are one in a million.
你的项链上这么写的
Your necklace says so.
据我所知只有泰格·伍兹
Last time I checked, it was Tiger Woods,
没有女泰格·伍兹
not Lady Tiger Woods!
我的天呐
B'holy cow!
女球手珍妮·哈特赢得了冠军
Lady golfer Jenny Hart wins the tournament!
我做到了
I did it!
所以计划是什么
Okay, so, what's the plan?
经理
Manager!
我要见经理
I need a manager right now!
女士有什么...
Yes, ma'am. How may I...
我的同居法女婿
My common-law son-in-law
被菠萝角绊倒
slipped on a pineapple wedge,
现在快淹死在懒人河里
and now he's drowning in your lazy river.
我要起诉你们的严重过失
I should sue your ass for gross negligence.
救命我不会游泳
Help! I-I can't swim!
先生你可以站起来
Sir, if you'll just stand up,
水深只有一米二
you'll see that the water is only four feet deep.
等等
Wait.
这是屎吗
Is this a poo?
天啊这里有好多屎
Oh, my God, there's so many poos in here!
回答我要漂浮多少粪便
Riddle me this: How many floating dooks
才能废除分时度假合同
does it take to annul a time-share?
讲真这里有大概30坨屎
Yeah, no, seriously, there's, like, 30 turds in here.
珍妮我真为你骄傲
Jenny, I am so proud of you.
我解除了分时度假合同我们还赢了八百块
I got out of the time-share, and we won $800?
这是史上最棒的假期
This is the best vacation ever.
我没有讽刺
And I'm not even being ironic.
我看看
Let's see...
赢家该吃什么呢
what do winners eat?
哎哎哎
Aye, aye, aye.
不
Oh, no.
欢迎来到默特尔海滩魔术秀
Welcome to Myrtle Beach magic.
我是兰迪的表弟桑迪
I'm Randy's cousin, Sandy,
我住在默特尔海滩宝贝们
who lives in Myrtle Beach, my babies.
不你没有兰迪
No, you're not, Randy!
成功了
Presto!
一直以来都是兰迪
It was Randy the whole time!