保佑哈特

看看那两人
Look at those two, y'all.
-恶心 -真恶心
- Ew. - Yeah. Ew.
他乳♥头♥穿了孔吗
Are his nips pierced?
看看他女友 抹胸加内♥裤♥
Ugh. Look at his girlfriend, Miss Tube-Top Tube-Bottom.
人人都知道 这两样不能一起穿出来
Everyone knows you can't do tube on tube.
不好意思 朱迪法官 乔布郎法官
Excuse me, Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown,
-你们俩不是光脚吗 -什么
- aren't you two barefoot? - What?
-我们的鞋就在这 -我们刚从"美丽甲"出来
- Our shoes are right here. - We just came from Fancy Nails,
全城最有品味的地方
aka the classiest place in town.
不过 妈 你接奶酪的时候
Although, Mother, you could be a little more on the down-low
可以低调一点
when you pump squirt cheese into your Jumbo Chugger.
你好意思说 你的手都伸到善品糖里面去了
You're saying that while you're elbow deep in a Splenda caddy?
维奥莱 这不是没品
Violet, this isn't low class.
有免费赠送的东西的时候
When something is complimentary,
不拿才俗气
it is actually tacky not to take it.
它们过期 人们吃了生病
They will expire, and people will get sick.
这是你想要的吗 维奥莱
Is that what you want, Violet?
靠 那个自命不凡的女巫来了
Oh, damn. Here comes that righteous little witch,
克丽丝托琳·普尔
Crystalynn Poole.
克丽丝托琳人很好
Crystalynn is a perfectly nice person.
她希望你这么想
That's what she wants you to think.
不 要上演互吹了
Oh, no. Here comes a nice-off.
没心情
Ugh. Not in the mood.
嗨 克丽丝托琳
Oh! Hi, Crystalynn.
贝蒂 天啊 见到你真高兴
Betty. Oh, my word, it is so good to see you.
每天都在年轻
Just looking younger and younger with each passing day.
克丽丝托琳 我喜欢你的烫发
Crystalynn, I just love your perm.
谢谢 上帝让我们今天相见
Thank you. Isn't it so wonderful
是不是很棒啊
that the Lord brought us together today?
赞美祂
Praise him.
我得去给我天使孙子的啜饮
Well, I got to go get my baby boy-themed party supplies
购买♥♥主题派对物品了 你保重
for my grandangel's sip and see. Y'all take care now.
你也是 克丽丝托琳
You, too, Crystalynn.
你听到那个贱♥货♥说的话了吗
Did you hear that lady-turd?
够了
Ugh. Stop it!
话说什么是啜饮
What is a sip and see anyway?
就是个派对 一群虚伪装腔作势的人站在那
It's a party where phony-butt hoity-toities stand around
喝含羞草鸡尾酒 谈论他们女儿肚子里
drinking mimosas and cooing over whatever plopped out
蹦出来的东西
of their daughter's baby crater.
妈 我最爱你的地方就在于
Oh, Mother. My favorite thing about you
你对其他女性的支持
is how you support other women.
洗个澡吧 垃圾双胞胎
Take a shower, trash twins!
什么鬼
What the freak?!
我会去洗澡的
Oh, I'm gonna take a shower, all right.
用某人的血洗
In somebody's blood!
我刚做的美甲粘上了佳得乐盖子
My friggin' pedicure's got a Gatorade lid stuck to it!
不 今天别来惹我 撒旦
Hell no! Not today, Satan!
肯定是克丽丝托琳干的
That had to be Crystalynn.
我们才见过她
Ugh. We just saw her.
她那么可爱
And she was totally sweet!
就像是个好欺诈的橡皮糖
Like a deceitful gummy candy.
她开始很甜美 然后就变得酸臭
She starts sweet so she can go sour.
这都是她骗局的一部分
It's all part of her grift.
随便了 妈
Whatever, Mother.
我要回家去清洗
I'm gonna go home and clean up.
她觉得她在着眼于长线
She thinks she's playing the long game,
但我即将要喊出"爽翻了"
but I'm about to scream "Yahtzee!"
我的天 珍妮 你身上一股垃圾水的味道
Oh, my God, Jenny. You smell like dumpster water.
我要开窗透透气
Whoo! I'm just gonna crack a window.
天 是汤米叔叔
Oh, my God. It's Uncle Tommy.
等等 那个手臂上夹着石膏板的是你叔叔
Wait, that child with the cast on his arm is your uncle?
他多大
How old is he?
10岁 他是我奶奶最小的孩子
Ten. He's my meemaw's youngest.
奶奶在40多岁后忙得不可开交
Meemaw was getting busy deep into her 40s,
和我妈以及她姐妹一起生小孩
and having babies at the same time as my mama and her sisters.
奶奶特别喜欢派对
Meemaw's a real party girl.
所以一直都是我在管他 以防他闯祸
So it always kind of falls on me to keep him out of trouble.
立刻给我住手 汤米叔叔
Stop that this instant, Uncle Tommy!
韦恩侄子
Nephew Wayne!
我要在奶奶累死前抓住他
I need to grab him until Meemaw wears herself out.
汤米叔叔
Uncle Tommy.
-快过来 -汤米叔叔
- Get your ass over here. - Uncle Tommy.
过来 亲爱的
Come over here, hon.
他在干什么
What is he doing?
天 他在让自己变得滑溜
Oh, Lord, he's slicking up.
我抓不住他 他太油滑了
I can't get ahold of him. He's too damn buttery.
珍妮 把帆布扔给我
Jenny, throw me that tarp.
他在那下面没事吗
So he's okay under there?
好了 他喜欢被裹住
There you go, he-he likes to be swaddled.
天啊 我们抓到了现实版的内尔
Oh, my God. We caught a real-life Nell.
知道吗
You know what?
我想我知道该把汤米叔叔送到哪里去接受驯服
I think I know where to take Uncle Tommy to tame him.
他得去教堂 不是一般的教堂
He needs to go to church. And not just any church.
肌肉和正义
汤米叔叔 我曾经很像你
Uncle Tommy, I was a lot like you.
这地方彻底改变了我 别蠕动
And this place really turned me around-- Stop squirming!
别舔我
And stop licking me.
该死 这是谁家的狗
Damn it, whose dog is this?
汤米叔叔
Uncle Tommy!
所以这人叫了你们什么
So... what did this person call y'all again?
垃圾双胞胎
Trash twins.
我相信这是联邦犯罪
Which, I believe, is a federal crime.
并不是
Well, no, it is not.
我不知道为什么有人会叫你们垃圾双胞胎
And I don't know why anyone would call y'all trash twins.
我看到你们涂抹了
When I got you both over here slathering up
大约一加仑的免费护手霜
with about a gallon of free hand lotion.
以及扣了屁♥股♥后 用同一只手
Or digging out a panty bite and then touching
去摸了不少于九个桃子
no fewer than nine peaches with that same hand.
就那 暂停
Okay, right, right there! Freeze!
我去
Oh, hell no.
该死的克丽丝托琳
Crystal Lynn!
他们叫你什么
They called you what?
-没事 淡定 -我做不到
- It's okay. Take it easy. - I won't.
你是我认识的最优雅的女生 该死
You're the classiest girl I know, gosh dang it.
瞧瞧你俩
Look at you two.
在垃圾箱旁边聊天
Just chatting by the garbage.
你们的垃圾箱聊天聊完后
Well, when you're finished with your little dumpster chat,
就去打卡下班吧
you go ahead and clock out.
我要提前走了
I'm heading out early.
和我家丹尼尔约了晚餐
Got a dinner date with my sweet Daniel.
他喜欢我点餐
He likes me to order
然后把他的打包 他傻乎乎的
and then get his stuff to go. He's so silly.
他是商人
He's a businessman.
俩 她说了俩 双胞胎有几个人 俩
Two! She said two. How many are twins? Two.
垃圾箱里装什么 垃圾 垃圾双胞胎
What do you put in the dumpster? Trash. Trash twins!
-是露易丝说的 -淡定 不是露易丝
- It's Louise! - Oh, cool your jets. It wasn't Louise.
她根本不在每家玛超♥市♥购物
She doesn't even shop at Mega Lo Mart.
布兰达 你这块砖是哪儿来的
Brenda, where'd you get that brick?
我包里
My purse.
珍妮 亲爱的 怎么闷闷不乐的
Jenny, shug, why so down?
有人在每家玛超♥市♥停车场开车经过我和我妈
Someone drove by me and Mother in the Mega Lo Mart parking lot
叫我们"垃圾双胞胎"
and called us "Trash twins"!
-什么 这太荒谬了 -是吧
- What?! That's ridiculous. - Right?
但你们刚从"美丽甲"出来 所以你们...
But you had just come from Fancy Nails, so were you...?
我们是光脚 没错
We were barefoot, yeah.
怎么
What?
所以你们光脚在每家玛超♥市♥
So you were barefoot. In a Mega Lo Mart.
-是的 在停车场里也是 -嗯
- Yes. And the parking lot. - Mm-hmm.
如果贝蒂想报复
Well, if Betty wants to retaliate,
你该试试放下这事
you should definitely try and rise above.
以眼还眼只会让人眼瞎