保佑哈特

耶稣 我不想谈唐·雷诺兹
Jesus, I'm not talking about Don Reynolds today or any day.
我只是说 那是你唯一同居过的人
I'm just saying, that was the only other person you lived with
结果很疯狂
and that ended a-real a-crazy.
你为什么这种口气
Why did you say it like that?
我想做个俏皮的朋友
I'm trying a sassy best friend thing.
不要
Um, no.
好哟
Okrrr!
跟我说说这集讲的什么
Catch me up.
这个人叫做"粗面粉盒子扼杀者"
This guy's called the "Grits Box Strangler."
本地人 在勒诺周围作案
He was local, operating out of Lenoir.
在整个北卡中部
With a string of violent crimes
犯下了一系列罪行
throughout central North Carolina,
只有一个
only one woman
见到粗面粉盒子扼杀者的女人活了下来
ever encountered the Grits Box Strangler and lived.
谁能逃脱那个杀人机器
Who could've survived that killing machine?
神奇女侠吗
Wonder Woman?
她的名字 克丽丝托琳·普尔
Her name? Crystalynn Poole.
-什么 不可能 -剧情大转折
- What? No way. - Whoa! Plot twist.
那天的事仿佛昨天才发生一样
I remember that day like it was yesterday.
我在自动取款机为教会取钱
I was at the ATM getting cash for church
因为我是个忠诚的付什一税者
because I'm a big-time tither.
我还没反应过来 他就把我拉上了他的车
Before I knew it, he'd pulled me into his truck.
我很害怕 但我沉着地问他
I was terrified, but I calmly asked him,
"年轻人 你能跟我一起祈祷吗"
"Young man, would you like to pray with me?"
他答应了 幸运的是
And he did. Luckily,
那天在车上还有一个人
there was one other person in that car that day.
圣灵
The Holy Spirit.
老天
Oh, Lord.
她扯了多少根鼻毛
How many nose hairs did she pull
才流了那么多眼泪
to get those tears to squirt out?
我不知道 她差点就被谋杀了
I don't know. She was almost murdered.
有蹊跷
Something's up.
我猜她是设法伪造了这事
My working theory is that she faked it somehow.
我每天都活在恐惧之中
I live in fear every day.
怕我曝光你这个贱♥人♥
In fear that I'm gonna expose your flat ass.
韦恩 你把我电♥话♥线放哪了
Wayne, where did you put my phone cord?
我确定我放在了我的行李箱上的
I know I left it sitting on top of my suitcase.
我没碰 我知道不能碰你的东西
I didn't touch it. I know better than to touch your stuff.
淡定 淡定
Whoa, okay. Take it down a notch.
你有点疯了 你听到你的话了吗
You're being a little crazy right now. Do you hear yourself?
为了我们的感情
Okay, for the sake of our relationship,
我要再去透透气
I'm gonna go get another dose of air.
垃圾抽屉里有根电♥话♥线
There's a phone cord in the junk drawer.
-夏卡巴蒂大夫 -韦恩
- Hey, Dr. Chakrabarti. - Wayne!
为了我们的感情 真戏精
Oh, "for the sake of our relationship." So dramatic.
回形针 便利贴
Paper clips, Post-its,
大号♥橡皮筋 戒指盒 小号♥橡皮筋
big rubber bands, ring box, small rubber bands...
等等 戒指盒
Wait, ring box?
我去
Oh, horse crap.
谢谢到这来见我 布兰达
Thanks for meeting me here, Brenda.
你打电♥话♥的时候我就在这儿 什么事
Hey, I was here when you called. So, what's up?
这个 我在韦恩的抽屉里找到的
This. I found it in Wayne's drawer.
这是我想的那个东西吗
Is this what I think it is?
天 订婚戒指
Oh, man. An engagement ring?
你一定吓尿了吧
You must be farting fire, girl.
因为你对婚姻有很大的成见
'Cause you got an epic big old problem with marriage.
为什么每个人都这么说
Why is everyone up my butt about this?
珍妮 我当时有在
Jenny, y'all, I was at that three-ring circus
你差点嫁给唐·雷诺兹的混乱婚礼现场
that was almost your wedding to Don Reynolds.
简直疯掉了
That mess was a-real ca-razy.
珍妮 你怀孕了
Uh-oh, Jenny, you're pregnant.
现在你必须结婚
Well, now you have to get married.
珍妮 他很有钱
Jenny, he's rich.
你必须嫁给他
You have to marry him.
亲爱的 你是美国女性
Honey, you are a woman in America.
你必须结婚
You have to get married.
这裙子下面该穿内衣吗
Should I have worn underwear with this dress?
亲爱的各位
Dearly beloved,
婚姻是永恒的
marriage is forever.
孝敬丈夫 服从丈夫
Honor thy husband and obey thy husband.
你必须服从
You must obey...
服从 永恒 永恒
Obey. Forever. Forever.
服从
Obey.
珍妮 不
Jenny, no.
想想我的未来
Think about my future.
拦下那个女人
Stop that woman!
有人逃跑
We got a runner!
第一次骑马
First time on a horse.
穿着婚纱 怀着孩子
In a wedding dress, fully with child.
我一点不生气
I am not mad at it.
天 我打赌韦恩要向我求婚
Oh, God. I bet Wayne's gonna ask me to marry him.
就是说吧
I know, right?
不 脑冻结
No, Slusherito brain freeze.
那就别再喝了啊
Well, don't chug more.
贝蒂 搞什么
Betty, what the hell?
我在《未解之谜》上看到你了
I saw you on Unsolved Mysteries.
你根本没见过粗面粉盒子扼杀者
You're lying about encountering the Grits Box Strangler.
-你为了上电视而捏造了这事 -错
- You made the whole thing up to get on TV. - Wrong!
我是因为差点被杀才上了我梦寐以求的那节目
I earned a coveted spot on that show by being almost murdered.
罗伯特·斯坦克斯本人告诉我
And Robert Stacks himself told me
我的故事是他见过的最悲痛的事之一
that my story was one of the most harrowing he'd ever seen.
你见了我的罗伯特·斯坦克斯
You met my Robert Stacks?
见他 他还送了我他的招牌风衣
Met him? He gave me one of his signature trenches.
我还能闻到斯坦克斯的味道
I can still smell the Stacks.
那是你非法得到的
That is ill-gotten.
我跟你玩了多年的桥牌 你说谎的时候有个招牌动作
I've played bridge with you for years, and you got a tell.
你接受采访的时候 你的眉毛到处乱动
In your interview, your eyebrow was flopping around
就像喝了闪卡咖啡的毛虫
like a caterpillar on Sanka.
我要证明你在说谎
I'm gonna prove you were lying.
准备好被我揭老底吧
So get ready to have your mystery solved for all to see.
你全搞错了 贝蒂
You got it all wrong, Betty.
我的故事无懈可击
My story is airtight.
还有 闪卡咖啡是没有咖♥啡♥因♥的
Also, Sanka's decaffeinated,
所以喝了闪卡的毛虫根本不会乱动
so a caterpillar on Sanka wouldn't flop at all.
你的类比毫无逻辑
Your analogy makes no sense.
-该死 -我不觉得我搞错了
- Dang it. - Oh, I don't think I got it wrong.
我觉得我完全说对了
I think I got it oh, so right.
也许那毛虫在动 是因为它喜欢
And maybe that caterpillar was flopping around because he loves
没有咖♥啡♥因♥的
the rich, full-bodied taste of coffee
咖啡的浓郁味道
without the downsides of caffeine.
该死
Dang it.
我们明天再继续吧
Let's pick this up t-tomorrow.
-要开着灯吗 -可以关了
- Want the lights on? - Off is fine.
-我们为什么要这么做 -因为我们爱着对方
- Why are we doing this? - 'Cause we love each other.
因为大家都在这么做
And 'cause everyone else is doing it.
你准备好谈这事了吗
You ready to talk about this yet?
-谈什么 -好吧
- Talk about what? - Oh, wow. Okay.
你现在做着梦 你穿着婚纱
Well, you're having a dream where you're in a wedding gown
坠向死亡
and falling to your death.
你害怕结婚
You are terrified of getting married,
你只是需要承认 《欢乐一家亲》的否定·克雷
and you just need to admit it, Frasier's DeNiles Crane.
人物本名为奈尔斯·克雷
引用得很好 耶稣
Oh. Great reference, Jesus.
我最近在补90年代的经典美剧
Yeah. I've been catching up on all the '90s classics.
《老友记》 《我为卿狂》《姐妹 姐妹》
Friends, Mad About You, Sister, Sister.
你有什么话就直说吧
Will you just tell me what you're here to tell me?
好 韦恩不是唐
Okay, here it goes. Wayne's not Don.
-就这样吗 -就这样
- That's it? - That's it.
-我嘞个去 -《加州公路巡警局》
- Holy guacamole! - Chips!
抱歉 我刚梦到了那个老摩托车警♥察♥电视剧
Sorry, I was dreaming about that old motorcycle cop show.
我想我弄明白了