保佑哈特

Now, why is it that you're wearing a full leather jumpsuit
来参加夏天的户外节日
at an outdoor festival in the summer?
我把这套衣服叫做我的捕男衣
I call this outfit my man catcher.
从白天到晚上都不费吹灰之力
It goes effortlessly from day to night.
这套装扮是科学定制的
This getup was scientifically formulated, y'all,
可以捕捉到一个叫做瑞克·大海的
to catch one super fine bass player
超帅贝斯手
by the name of Rick Ocean.
等等 这乐队是以他名字命名
Wait. The band is named after him,
但他不是主唱
but he's not the lead singer?
因为他的手指就有那么厉害
'Cause his fingers are that good.
他的大拇指结茧
And his thumb is so calloused,
能把钉子敲进石膏板
it could hammer a nail into sheetrock.
恶心
Ew.
好恶心
Oh. Ew!
不
No.
不
No!
不
No!
我36小时没进食了
Ooh. I haven't eaten in 36 hours
就为了吃到北卡
in preparation to eat the best barbecue
最棒的烧烤
North Carolina has to offer.
韦恩
Wayne!
这里这个是什么
What is this over here in this area?
雷纳德怎么在那个摊位
Why is Leonard at that booth?
恭喜你 你进入比赛了 这是你的摊位
Congratulations, you're in the contest! This is your booth.
开工吧 耶
Get cooking. Yay!
-珍妮 -我帮你报了名 耶
- Jenny... - I entered you in the contest. Yay!
好有意思啊 耶
What a fun thing I did. Yay!
你该告诉你要这么做的 我就可以拒绝你了
You should've told me you were doing this, so I could've said no.
不对 我拒绝过了
Wait, I did say no.
来吧 韦恩 我们给你准备了所有物资
Come on, Wayne. We got all your supplies.
韦恩烧烤 韦恩烧烤
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
韦恩烧烤 韦恩烧烤
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
-不不 跟着节奏拍 -不 看我的
- No, no, clap on the word. - Uh-uh. Follow me.
韦恩烧烤
Wayne's 'cue!
韦恩烧烤 韦恩烧烤 韦恩烧烤
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
我想过了 我明白了一件事
Well, I thought about it, and something dawned on me.
我是成年人 我不需要留在这儿
I'm a grown-ass man, and I don't have to be here.
好吧 毕竟我们已经报名了
Well, you know, since we're already signed up, uh,
看来我只能亲自下厨了
I guess I got to cook it myself.
我会用点这个香精尘
I'll just grab some of these flavor dust sprinkles...
珍妮 你知道那叫粉
Jenny, you know that's called rub.
可能太多了 不过没事
That's probably too much. Well, that's okay.
擦掉就好 但是要用什么擦呢
I'm just gonna rinse it off, but what do I have for that?
完美 婴儿湿巾
Oh, perfect, baby wipes.
我把它切成块 煮成灰色
And I'll just cut it into cubes, and boil it gray.
珍妮 我知道那是逆反心理
Jenny, I know that's reverse psychology,
我告诉你 我从来不上当
and I'll tell you right now, I never don't fall for it.
夹子给我
Give me those tongs.
给我杯白仙粉黛 加冰 不要贵的
I'll take a white zin on the rocks, and make it a home pour.
她在那儿呢 我的贝蒂
There she is, my Betty.
咻
Mmm. Zip!
烈日炎炎下 尽管我站在移♥动♥厕所
Even though I was standing next to a Porta Potti
以及一个装满猪尸体的垃圾箱旁边
and a mini-dumpster of pig remains in the heat...
-咻 -你还是让我找到了你
- Zip! - ...you made sure I found you.
大海先生
Senor Oceano.
心脏小姐
Senorita Corazón.
来 回我的更衣车间去
Come on. Let's go back to my dressing "Caban-ya."
我等不及脱掉你的妈妈咪呀
I can't wait to peel you out of that Mamma Mia!
兼埃维尔·克尼维尔服装了
slash Evel Knievel getup.
喂 你的服装建立在谎言之上
Hey. Hey, you. Your costume was built on lies.
-维奥莱 -布兰达
- Violet? - Brenda?
感觉真棒
Whew! That feels good.
穿着这套猪装要热死了
It's hot as hell in this pig suit.
你怎么不开心
What's got you so upset, girly?
这个 我被删减了
This. I was censored.
天 这太扯淡了
Oh, man, that is some total bull crap.
跟我来 我有计划
Girl, you come with me. I got a plan.
-这么快就有了 -卑鄙报复存在于我的DNA里
- Already? - Petty retaliation is in my DNA.
这是我的超能力
It's my superpower.
不要慌张 因为布兰达阿姨
Now, stop panicking 'cause Auntie Brenda's
要帮你用老一套方法解决这问题 破坏公物
gonna help you fix this the old-fashioned way: vandalism.
看看你 韦恩
Look at you go, Wayne.
我要兼顾各个方面
It's a balancing act.
酸 热 咸 甜 以及无数种未知味道
Tart, hot, sour, sweet, and a million unknowables.
我必须感觉出来
I just have to feel it.
*带着我男友真有趣*
* It's so fun to carry my boyfriend. *
嘘 我研究比例的时候需要绝对安静
Hey, shh. I need total silence while I work out these ratios.
像一个肉食流星降落
Dropping like a meat-eating meteor,
这是你们的明星嘉宾评审
it's your surprise celebrity guest judge,
奇普·斯科维尔
Chip Scoville!
奇普·斯科维尔 他来了
Chip Scoville? He's here?
这些音效是哪儿来的
Ugh, where is he getting those sound effects?
-韦恩 你还好吗 -韦恩 你的醋
- Wayne, you doing okay? - Wayne, your vinegar!
我的比例
My-my ratios!
* I love the beach *
* And the beach loves me *
* The beachy beach *
* Music really sets me free *
* I love the beach, and the beach loves me *
* Listening to beach music always sets me free *
* The notes, the rhythm *
* The treble, the bass *
* That beachy beach music puts a smile on my face *
* Beachy beach music, beach music *
* Beachy beach music... *
哟 瞧瞧你穿的衣服
Well, well, look what the cat shagged in.
克丽丝托琳 你怎么来了
Crystalynn? What are you doing here?
这里只能高级贵宾的随行人员才能出入
This area is for top-level VIP entourage only.
不好意思 让你失望了
Read 'em and weep.
我和主唱是一起的
I'm with the lead singer,
也就是头面人物
aka the front man,
蒂姆·斯丁森
Tim Stinson.
对哦 我都忘了他了
Mm, right. I forgot about him
因为我和贝斯手在交往
'cause I'm seeing the bass player,
这个乐队就是以瑞克·大海命名的
who the band is named after, Rick Ocean.
他只是走运而已
Oh, he just lucked out
因为他的姓是大海
'cause his last name happens to be Ocean.
真可惜你不能这样 连体裤
Too bad you can't do that, jumpsuit.
好在我总是有备而来
Good thing I always come prepared.
今晚有一位特别的人
There's someone special here tonight,
她是我牡蛎里的珍珠
someone who is the pearl in my oyster,
是我的知己 是我椰林的飘香
the flip to my flop, the colada to my piña--
贝蒂·哈特 你愿意到台上来吗
Betty Hart, will you join me on stage?
我们在一起是不是很上镜
Don't we look good together?
不
No!
你们说这位美女
Now, don't you think this pretty lady
是不是该陪我全程做巡演
should be by my side for the entire tour, huh?
不
No!
我想要你做我的女人 贝蒂
I want you to be my woman, Betty.
你意下如何
What do you say?
能把话筒递给蒂姆·斯丁森吗
Can you hand that to Tim Stinson?
感觉好棒 推♥翻♥肉权制
This feels so good. Toppling the meatriarchy. Yeah!
布兰达 你确定我不会惹上麻烦吗
Brenda, are you sure I'm not gonna get in trouble?
-维奥莱 你不会有事的 -小屁孩
- Violet, you're gonna be fine. - Hey, kid!
赶紧下来
Get down from there!
糟糕 维奥莱 是警♥察♥
Oh, crap. Violet, it's the po-po.
我会制♥造♥性转移
I'll create a perversion.
-你是说分散注意力吗 -我的方法不是
- Don't you mean diversion? - Not the way I do it.
来吧 赢家可以吃上布兰达晚餐哦
Come on, boys, winner, winner, Brenda dinner.
有人裸奔啦 宝贝们
We got a streak going, babies.
够了 兰迪
That's enough, Randy.
看看新的巡演巴士
Well, check out the new tour bus.
这车很不错 操控台里还有个冰柜
It's a sweet ride, honey. There's a cooler in the console,
存放代基里酒的绝佳场所
perfect for daiquiris,
以及任何你要吃的药
and any medication you might have.
我是很喜欢冰冷的泰诺安
Mm, I do love an ice cold Tylenol PM.